Brother Mine
by TheRedScreech
Summary: "Raph!" Leo shoved his brother aside and collapsed when the shot connected with his side. There was a silent BOOM, a flash of purple light, excruciating pain for two heart-stopping seconds, and then his vision went black.
1. Chapter 1

_Brother Mine_

 **Author's Note:** Set mostly in 2003 Universe with mild references to 2012. Order of birth is Leo, Don, Raph, and Mikey.

 **Chapter 1**

New York City was not, by definition, a quiet city. No matter the month of the year, there was always the rumble of constant traffic – enraged honks, impatient hollers, urgent sirens. There was always the wind whistling ceaselessly through the wind tunnels created by the rearing buildings. There was always the rush of water by the river and the docks. There was never not any kind of noise, which made for good cover for the battle taking place atop a dingy apartment in Brooklyn, several blocks from the Bridge. At first glance, the fight appeared one-sided: four mutant turtles armed with varying ninja weapons battled at least twenty uniformed ninja; but on closer inspection, it was clear that not only were the terrapins skilled enough to hold ground against the formidable odds, but they were slowly gaining the upper hand.

At least until one ninja pulled out a gun and took aim at the red-banded turtle.

Leonardo, team leader and the eldest of the four turtle brothers, spotted the threat. His first thought was _Dishonourable!_ because ninja did not use guns, which was quickly followed by _Shell!_ as he ran to protect his brother.

"Raph!" Leo shoved his brother aside and collapsed when the shot connected with his side. There was a silent BOOM, a flash of purple light, excruciating pain for two heart-stopping seconds, and then his vision went black.

"Leo! Leo!" Raph looked back over his shoulder, even as he lay sprawled after his older brother had pushed him out of harm's way. He couldn't see for the flash of light but he got to his feet anyway.

Don and Mikey still battled the Foot; he could hear their shouts as their weapons clashed against the katana of the Foot clan.

Curse these spots in his vision! He had to find Leo! Leo had to be all right. If he got hurt because of him…

He tripped over something small and hard but caught himself before he fell. "What the shell?" he demanded, looking down.

He froze.

"What. The. Shell?"

A tiny turtle toddler sat on the roof, Leo's twin katana, guards, and blue mask scattered around it, and a pair of dark blue eyes blinked nervously up at him.

"L-Leo?"

His brain couldn't understand what was happening but a single emotion pounded through his veins as he stared down at the small child: protectiveness. Anything that small and helpless needed protection. And they were still in the middle of a war.

Raph ducked a sudden gunshot that, strangely, glowed purple as it sped over his head. His hands snatched up Leo's gear, the katana and the baby turtle. They could not fight and look after…this – whatever this was. Tucking the child to his plastron, he gave an order he had never voiced in his life. "Retreat, guys! Retreat!" he shouted, praying his other brothers hadn't been hit with the weird weapon, too.

"Where's Leo?" Don demanded as he swung his Bo staff to ward away the three ninja ganged up on him.

Raph sincerely hoped he was currently in his arms. "I got him. Let's go!"

"Mikey! Fall back, Mikey!"

Mikey took out one more ninja with his twirling nunchaku before following his brothers off the roof, into the alley, and down the nearest manhole.

"Uh, Raph? Where exactly is Leo?" asked Donnie when he saw his elder brother wasn't with Raph as he'd said.

Raph's brain was still trying to catch up so he just opened his arms to reveal their infant brother.

"Dude, what?"

"What happened?"

Why were they asking him questions when he could barely function? But questions needed answers. "He, he pushed me out of the way. It, I think it was a gun. Some kind of gun. He pushed me."

"Let's get him to the lab." Though he said it calmly, Donnie's eyes were wide with fear.

"Here, Raph," Mikey said quietly, "let me take something."

Raph handed his little brother Leo's gear and mask, keeping the fragile baby tucked against his chest. _Maybe this is a bad dream?_ he thought as they ran home. _Maybe I'm gonna wake up soon? Leo's gonna pound on my door any second now to wake me up for mornin' trainin'._

"Master Splinter! Master Splinter!" Mikey cried as soon as they ran through the door. "Something's happened to Leo!"

Their sensei was nowhere to be seen and then he was in front of them, his eyes large in his normally calm face. "My sons, what happened?"

"We don't know. Leo got hit with something and I need to check him to make sure he's not hurt. Raph, let go."

Raph didn't understand. What did Donnie mean, let go? Let go of what?

"Raph! Let him go!"

"Donatello, be calm. Raphael?"

He lifted his gaze obediently. Golden amber met onyx.

"Donatello needs to take Leonardo now, Raphael, to see if he is unharmed. Let go of your brother now. That's it." Splinter eased the toddler out of his son's arms and handed him to Donnie who raced to the lab with Mikey on his heels, and the lab door slammed closed. "Come, my son," he said kindly. "I'll make you a cup of tea."

Normally Raph would protest and say he didn't want any but thanks, Master Splinter, I'm really okay, but not today. His brain still wasn't functioning, his own thoughts weren't coherent, and he kept glancing at the lab door, closed and solid and uninviting. Absently, he followed Sensei to the kitchen.

Sensei sat him down in a chair and busied himself with the kettle. Raph stared at his hands. They felt empty for some reason. After several minutes, Splinter set a cup in front of him, and he wrapped his hands around the warm ceramic but he didn't drink. The heat from the tea spread through his palms and up his arms and through his chest towards his brain. The smell of the tea leaves filtered through his nostrils and into his consciousness. He looked up with tears in his eyes at his sensei and father who sat across from him.

"It's my fault," he confessed.

The old rat sipped. "How so, my son?"

"I wasn't paying attention. Leo pushed me out of the way. Whatever that weapon was, it hit him because of me. This is all my fault. Why'd he push me?"

"Your brother feared for your well-being and acted as any leader would have" was the calm reply. "He made a choice."

"Still my fault," Raph mumbled, tears he refused to let fall burning in his eyes.

"The fault lies with the one who pulled the trigger," Splinter corrected firmly.

"The Foot." Raph spat out the two words like vinegar in his mouth. Rage boiled in his brain and veins, and his hands tightened convulsively around his cup. But the anger, for once, was fleeting; his worry for his brother overpowered his usual angry response, and he slumped in his chair, his hands loosening their grip. He hung his head, his eyes downcast. He was too tired to be angry. Too tired and too scared.

"They will pay," said Sensei, his tone lethal beneath the benignity.

"It won't change anythin'. Leo will still be…"

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

The sudden cry made them both jump, and Splinter was quicker than Raph in leaping from his chair and running out the door. Raph looked down at the cup between his hands, the tea now substantially cooler. He sighed, downed the liquid in a few gulps, and followed Sensei to the lab.

He really had to hand it to Splinter's tea because within seconds, his whole body relaxed and even his brain felt much calmer, and it was in the short hallway between the kitchen and the lab that he at last came to terms with tonight's events. His eldest brother really was now a two-year-old, thanks to the craptastic technology the Foot had engineered. Absolutely flippin' brilliant to turn their enemies into harmless and helpless babies. It was bloody terrific.

He entered the lab and found Splinter quietly hushing and rocking a teary-eyed Leo. "There, there, Leonardo," he comforted. "Donatello was just making sure you're all right. It was just a little needle."

"I didn't think Leo was afraid of anything," Mikey put in sadly. He sat on the cot that held all of Leo's gear, his mask in his hands and the swords across his lap in their sheaths.

"He's two," Raph said, his tone hushed and raspy. "Everyone's afraid of everythin' when they're two."

"Actually, Raphael, your brother appears to be about three," Splinter corrected.

"Three?" Donnie echoed as he looked up from his prepping of the blood test. "But…he's too small for three."

"Your brother was the smallest of you four for years," was the reply. "I thought he was the youngest until he began to walk and talk, and then it became clear that he was the eldest. Are you feeling better, Leonardo?" he added to the toddler, kissing the Band-Aid on his upper left arm.

Leo whimpered but then he spotted Raph by the door and reached out for him, his tiny hands grabbing the air between them.

"Aww!" Mikey cooed, despite the seriousness of the situation. "Wittle Weo wants Waphie."

But for the first time in his life, Raph didn't pay attention to Mikey's snide remarks. He simply crossed the floor and took the toddler from Sensei. He sat down on a cot, afraid he might accidentally drop him, and looked into his brother's navy eyes. It was still there, that comforting shade of dark blue. Even as a child, his brother's dark irises shone with wisdom, and Raph suddenly wished that his brother would say something. He knew this was all his fault but he wanted Leo to tell him that it wasn't, and that protecting him was what brothers did, specifically what _they_ did. Every time they stepped out the door, they entrusted their lives to each other, and Raph trusted his brothers more than anything. He even trusted Mikey. Most importantly, he trusted Leo to always be there for him. No matter how often they butted heads and clashed, Leo always came through for him when he needed him.

But not anymore. Foot or no, it was his fault.

Raph bowed his head over the small child in his lap. "I'm sorry, Leo," he whispered as he fought tears. "I'm sorry."

The baby moved, snuggling closer against his plastron, and then suddenly bumped him gently on the chin with his brow ridge. "It's okay, Raph."

"Did he just talk?" Mikey gasped.

Splinter said something about how Leo had talked a lot as a kid, and was surprised he hadn't said anything sooner, but Raph barely heard him. He was too busy hugging his little brother and trying to keep the tears to a minimum.

They headed for bed soon after, even Don who could do nothing more until the results from the blood test came through which would take hours, if not days. Raph reluctantly handed Leo back to Splinter. Yes, he would be safer and more comfortable with you, Sensei. No, I don't mind. Yes, you can wake me if ya need help with him. Yes, the tea helped a lot, thanks, Sensei. Mornin' trainin' is cancelled? Okay. It wasn't like he needed a distraction to keep his mind off some things, or like he didn't need to vent his emotions on a punching bag or a complex kata. Not.

Raph turned into his bedroom and crawled into his hammock. Exhausted though he was, emotionally and physically, he lay awake for hours, listening for any sign of distress coming from Splinter's room. But there was none, and somewhere around four in the morning, he drifted off. _Good thing trainin' was cancelled,_ he thought as his eyelids slid shut.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you to all who have viewed, reviewed, followed and "favourited" this story so far. I honestly didn't expect such positive feedback, so thank you! So because you guys are awesome (and I'm feeling generous today) here's chapter 2. I will not update daily, just as heads up. More likely it will be weekly. Nevertheless enjoy!

Chapter 2

Mikey buried his head under his pillow when he heard incessant wailing. _Ugh,_ he thought as he tugged the blankets higher, _someone shut that baby up._ Then his eyes went wide with remembrance. No one had any babies down here in the sewer…except them. They had a baby now. Leo was a baby. And he was crying.

Mikey jumped out of bed, irritating Klunk (who meowed his displeasure at the sudden draft in the blankets), tripped over a stack of comic books, got back up, and ran out the door and into the kitchen where Splinter was trying to feed his (eldest?) brother. The toddler refused his attempts, kicking and screaming.

"What's wrong?" he demanded, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Mikey!" Leo stopped yelling and smiled at him.

Splinter sat down with a huff, his ears drooping. "I am too old for this."

Mikey was pretty sure Sensei hadn't meant to say it out loud and he strode forward. "Here, Sensei. Let me try."

Splinter gave him the spoon and bowl of mashed up algae and worms, and he turned for the toddler. "Here, we go, Leo. Open wide."

But Leo wasn't interested in being fed by someone. He reached for the bowl with a shrill demand of "Me!"

"You want to do it?" the orange-banded turtle asked skeptically.

"Yes!"

"And how do we ask, Leo?" Mikey's tone was firm but kind. "We say 'please', right?"

"Me, please," said Leo obediently, and Mikey gave him the bowl and spoon. Leo calmed immediately and spooned his food into his mouth with surprising aptitude, not spilling a bit.

"I forgot how independent he was at that age," Splinter commented, his forehead resting in one hand, his elbow on the table.

Mikey had never seen Master Splinter look so tired, and he took his shoulder after a moment's hesitation. "You don't have to do it alone, Sensei," he said quietly. "We'll help."

"Thank you, Michelangelo. That is a comfort." Splinter covered his hand with his own for a second, and then got up. "Would you like pancakes for breakfast?"

Mikey grinned and leaped forward to help, grabbing the griddle from under the cupboard, plates, cups and cutlery.

"All done!" Leo announced as Mikey mixed the batter.

"Be right there, Leo. Can you wait?"

"Wait?" Leo echoed.

"Yes, Leo. Wait, please."

"Okay!"

"It wasn't a dream, then." Donnie walked in and spotted Leo in his high chair.

"Donnie! All done!" Leo said by way of greeting his brother.

"Do you want out?" asked Don as he moved to unbuckle the toddler from the chair.

"If you set him loose, you must watch him," Splinter put in from his position at the griddle. "And I want your lab door closed and locked. Your brother can open doors."

"We need to baby-proof this place," Donnie muttered as he set Leo on the floor. "The last thing we need is him getting into…everything."

"Maybe we can ask April for baby locks for doorknobs?" Mikey offered, and then he froze. "Aw, shell! April! April doesn't know! Neither does Casey! What are we going to tell them?" He looked up at Splinter desperately.

Sensei was silent for a while as he took the batter from him and poured it onto the griddle. The spat of oil was loud in the quiet kitchen. "Invite them for dinner tonight, and we will show them." He paused suddenly, his ears twitching, and he spun around to view the room. "Where is Leonardo?"

The two brothers blinked and looked and saw what their sensei did: no Leo.

"Shell, the kid can move!" Donnie hissed as he ran from the kitchen. "Leo? Where are you, little man?"

"Go help Donatello," Splinter ordered Mikey, and the turtle obeyed.

"Leo? Come on out, Leo! Where are you?" He checked the bedrooms and tiptoed past Raph's on his way to the dojo. "Leo…? LEO!"

His brother had somehow reached into the weapons rack and now had a kanabo-tetsubo in his hands. The iron-knotted club hit the floor with a bang, dropped in surprise, and narrowly missed the tiny turtle's toes. The loud sound startled Leo further and he ran to Mikey and clutched his leg. "Noise! Noise!" he whined.

Mikey picked him up as both Don and Splinter rushed to his side. "It's okay," he told all three. "He had the tetsubo and dropped it. The noise scared him."

"Leonardo," Splinter said firmly, and the toddler looked at him. "You do not touch anything in this room, all right? They are dangerous. You must not touch them. Do you understand?"

"No touch," Leo said with a nod and teary navy eyes. "Okay, Daddy." He reached out for the rat and Mikey let Sensei take him.

As Splinter comforted the toddler with quiet words and hugs, Mikey left for the kitchen to save the pancakes, and Don followed him.

"This is going to take some getting used to," Don mumbled.

"Yeah. Who knew Leo could get into so much trouble so early in the morning?" Mikey tried to be chip and cheerful, but at the back of his mind, his thoughts were troubled. What would happen to Leo? What would happen to the team? What would happen to the _family_? But he couldn't let those thoughts dominate him. He had to stay happy for the family's sake. He had to keep them all together and see this through. He'd done it before. This time would be no different.

He set a couple pancakes on a plate and set it on the table in front of his brother. Donnie stared at his meal without seeing it, and Mikey sighed. "Chin up, Don," he urged. "It could be worse."

"Worse? How can it be worse than this? We've lost our brother, our leader, Splinter's perfect son. How can it be worse?"

Mikey spoke with a complete deadpan expression. "It could have been Raph?"

Don blinked once, twice, and then he laughed. He bent double, clutching his stomach, as he full-out guffawed. Mikey stood there, flabbergasted, because he hadn't thought it would be that funny. He watched in growing anxiety as his brother folded his arms on the tabletop and rested his head there as his laughter turned to wheezing. "Raph," he said breathlessly. "It could have been Raph. Lands, Mikey, never change. Never, ever change."

Mikey sat next to his brother and hugged him around the shoulder as Don's wheezing trailed off into quiet sobs. It hadn't been that funny, after all. Don had mentioned _hysterics_ before, though he'd never seen his second eldest brother display them. "It'll be okay, Donnie," he soothed, rubbing his shell. "We'll fix this or wait it out or whatever, but it'll be okay. You'll see."

Don nodded and sat up, wiping his cheeks. "Thanks, Mike. Really."

"No problem. So, are you gonna eat or what?"

He nodded again, pulled the plate to him, poured syrup over everything and began to eat. "Thanks, Mikey," he said again.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Apparently, this is required and I'd forgotten. My bad! I own nothing.

Author's Note: Happy Friday, everybody! We get a bit more dialogue from Leo in this chapter, and I'm having fun writing him. A lot of the stuff he says I've based off my three-year-old niece. She's very talkative and picks up words fairly easily, so it makes sense that I use what I know to be fairly accurate toddler-talk in here.

Also, I should probably also clarify when exactly we are in the series: This is after the season three finale, the turtles and Splinter are all healed up from their final battle with The Shredder, but instead of Leo being all doom and gloom and angsty, I've tweaked it. Also, I really just like the layout of the old lair so much more than the new one in season four, so, yeah. That's where and when we are.

Chapter 3

Don ended up only eating one of his two pancakes and gave the other one to Mikey. He left the kitchen, claiming he needed to check on Leo's blood test, which was true, but he also needed to be alone for a while. He still hadn't come to grips with what had happened to Leo, even though Mikey and Splinter seemed to have; but he wasn't sure about Raph. ( _Raph,_ he growled under his breath but immediately pushed the thought of his immediate younger brother out of his mind.) What he was sure about was that he needed to get away from the situation, collect himself, and reaffirm himself. He sighed as he closed and locked his lab door behind him. He was safe in here. Here, he was in control. Here, everything did as he asked, everything was created by him, everything was… His computer was beeping.

The results. He thought it would have taken longer. He ran to the printer and pulled out the papers. He quickly scanned the sheets then went back and read everything to make absolutely sure.

He left the lair at a run, not even acknowledging Mikey's call after him. He had to get to that rooftop – the rooftop in Brooklyn where Leo had been shot. A detailed examination would render his hypothesis fact, and only then would he tell the family.

 _Don't panic, don't panic,_ he thought desperately as he ran. It was broad daylight but this couldn't wait for nightfall. Besides, he was ninja; he knew how to disappear.

Two hours later, he trudged back to the lair, ready to inform the family. Mikey had joked before that it could have been worse. Well, it was now officially worse.

"It's not a mutagen or anything like it." Don stood in front of his family who all sat on the couch. Raph had woken up just before noon (barely twenty minutes after Don had returned), looking so bleary-eyed that Don had to secretly wonder if he had slept at all. He had barely blinked when Leo had greeted him with an exuberant "Raphie!" Donnie had allowed his family to eat lunch unhindered by the troubling news burning in his head, and only after the dishes were cleared and cleaned, did he say that he had important information regarding Leo's condition. Splinter had suggested they all sit in the living room, and Leo, for once, was still and silent in Mikey's lap.

He forced himself to not pace, to not even twitch a finger to indicate his nerves. He did, however, intently inspect the floor as he spoke. "His blood results are negative for any additional mutant DNA, but they did show a sudden regression in the maturity of his cells. I checked out the place where Leo got hit (I'm sorry, Sensei, but I had to, and I was careful to not be seen). It's similar to a time warp. A small bubble surrounded Leo once he got hit. While everything outside of the bubble remained unharmed, anything organic inside was subjected to a backwards shift in time. The roof was completely undamaged." He paused and looked down as he said, "If I'm right, then the technology involved is something I can't replicate, not even if I had twenty years to figure it out."

"Then we steal it," Raph said firmly. "If we got one of the guns, could ya reverse it?"

Don looked at Leo who sat calmly on Mikey's lap. Something about his attentive expression stabbed him in the heart. Could Leo understand what they were talking about? Did he know what had happened to him? He quickly dismissed the thought, refocusing on Raph's question and doing his best to be polite. "I can try," he answered. "But we're talking about infiltrating Foot Headquarters. The technology will also probably be heavily guarded."

"We're also talkin' about Leo," Raph reminded him. "Do we really have a choice?"

"All right," said Donnie. "I'll get working on the plans. It'll take some time but I'll probably have them ready in a few days."

"Take all the time you need, Don," Mikey encouraged. "We can handle this little punk for as long as it takes." He squeezed Leo around the waist and Leo's stoic expression vanished, replaced by one of glee, and he squealed happily.

Sensei had been silent during the whole exchange but he spoke now: "Do what you must, my son."

Don just nodded and retreated to his lab to pull up blue prints of Foot HQ. He took one look at them and sighed, and his head fell into his hands. What good would his plans be if Leo wasn't there to lead them?

Failure.

He hadn't even started and he had already failed.

A gentle knock landed on his door. "Donnie?"

Leo? What was he doing here?

Another knock, slightly louder. "Don, it's me and Leo. Can we come in?"

Mikey. If it had been Raph, he wasn't sure he would have opened the door, but his baby brother had witnessed his hysterical break-down this morning; he knew how stressed he was. Don also knew his little brother had this beautiful, innate ability to cheer people up. And he needed some cheering up.

He dragged his body out of his chair and unlocked the door. "Come in, I guess. And keep Leo away from everything."

Mikey obediently picked Leo up but he wasn't interested in Mikey. He reached out for Don, and the purple-masked turtle took him.

"What's up?" he asked as he turned back into his lab.

"We wanted to make sure you're doing okay," Mikey replied. "I mean, after what happened at breakfast and then just now with Leo's results… How are you?"

"I've had better days," he said honestly, his voice raspy as he tried to hold back tears.

"Why sad?" Leo asked, his mouth pulled down in concern.

 _How can someone that was completely unfamiliar to him look at him with such a familiar expression?_ he wondered and had no answer. But he couldn't answer the toddler's question; the words got stuck in his throat. Mikey, for the second time today, put a hand on his shoulder.

Don sat down hard on a cot and bumped something: Leo's katana. They were still here, so was all his gear. His blue mask lay across the swords, no more than a bit of old cloth. He set Leo on the floor and buried his face in his hands. "What are we going to do, Mikey?" he sobbed. "Even if I do manage to pull some kind of plan together, how are we going to do it without Leo? What if something goes wrong? Leo's always the one to get us out if something goes wrong. How are we going to pull this off without him?"

Mikey sat next to him, and their shoulders brushed. "I don't know," he said, "but I do know that we can't give up. Raph's right: this is Leo. He wouldn't give up if it were one of us, so we can't give up on him."

Don didn't look up. "If only it were a mutagen. I could have reversed it so easily, but this? I don't even know what hit him."

"Ooooh!" Leo suddenly said from behind them.

The two turtles looked to find Leo had climbed onto the cot and now held his mask in his hands. He lifted it gently, as if unconsciously knowing to do so, and watched the tails twirl in the air.

Don had half a mind to snatch it away from the toddler but he held himself back, and watched his brother play. He was so innocent now. So unknowing and inexperienced. It was at the same time terrible and wonderful because he knew this was supposed to be his elder brother, his leader, strong and confident and honourable; but he had never been this close to a young child before. None of them had. To observe one in such a proximity was an opportunity he'd never thought he would get: to actually watch one learn about his surroundings and be in wonder of it all. Something as commonplace as a bit of blue fabric enthralled little Leo, and Don, in turn, was enthralled.

"Look, Donnie, look!" Leo held the mask out to him. "Pretty!"

"Yes, Leo," Don whispered through his tears. "It is very pretty."

"Yours!" He almost shoved it into his face but Don caught him.

"No, it's not mine, Leo. Look. Mine is purple." He held out one of the tails to him so the child could examine the colour. "That one is blue."

"And mine is orange," Mikey put in helpfully. "See?" He dangled a tail in his face and Leo tried to grab it, laughing.

"Ordge, ordge!" Leo said pointing at Mikey's mask. "Purl!" He pointed to Donnie.

"Orange and purple, Leo," he corrected. "Or-ange. Pur-ple."

Leo regarded him for a long moment, his navy eyes narrowed in concentration. Then: "Orange!" he shouted, triumphant. "Purple!"

"Smart cookie," Mikey praised. "What's this one?" He touched the blue mask with a finger.

"Mine!" was the immediate reply.

The two brothers exchanged surprised glances. How did he know the mask was his?

"Blue! Blue!" Leo added, just as exuberantly.

Mikey smiled. "That's right, little man. It's blue. Let's go find Raph and see what colour his bandana is."

Leo kept the mask tight in his hand as he slid off the cot and ran out the door. "Raphie! Raphie!" he called out.

Before Mikey followed the tot, he clapped a hand to Don's shoulder. "We'll figure it out," he promised, and then he left, closing the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: So apparently my "weekly" updates have picked up the pace. I honestly didn't think I would be able to write this story as quickly as I have done, so here you are. Deep breath: Monday is coming.

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Chapter 4

"Raphie! Raphie!"

Mikey slowly followed the scampering toddler out of the lab and back towards the common area where they had seen Raph last. His thoughts burned with his short conversation with his older brother, the uncertainty, the _fear_. He was so afraid right now, and he wasn't the only one but that was no comfort. What were they going to _do_? And once they figured that out, _how_ were they going to do it? Leo had always been the one to lead them, to take control of every bad situation and either get them out safely or rally them onward. He could remember only a handful of times that Leo hadn't been there: first and foremost was when Shredder had returned and had beaten Leo to within an inch of his life; but that hadn't been his brother's fault. Leo had never purposefully abandoned them to Fate's unkind hands, he had always been beside them for everything, from nightmares to near-death experiences, but not anymore. This was worse than waiting for him to regain consciousness, worse than any situation prior to this.

Mikey stopped in the short hallway, leaning against the wall. The leaning quickly turned to sliding down, and the young turtle sat against the wall, his knees tucked up and his head buried in his arms.

His eldest brother, his cornerstone, leader and guide, was a child with none of his skill or wisdom. It was like Leo had been erased from existence. At least, when his brother had been hurt, Mikey knew it had been for them and that he had fought his hardest to return to them. But this? Nothing remained of his brother in the child. He was smart, sure, but the fight in him was gone, just like everything else about him.

Tears slid silently down his cheeks but he brushed them away rapidly and stood. _No_ , he told himself. No, he would not break down. He needed to be strong, strong for the family and strong for Leo who may or may not still exist. He was no longer the baby of the family; he had a responsibility as a now-older brother. He would not curl into a ball and weep – he refused to. He would stand and grin and bear because that was what he was supposed to do. Leo might not have any fight in him anymore, but Mikey did. So did Don and Raph. They would get this fixed because it needed to be fixed. One way or another, they'd do it, even if they had to claw and bite their way into Foot Headquarters to retrieve the tech.

"Raphie?" The kid's calling echoed down the hall but there was no reply.

Mikey sighed. It looked like Raph wasn't the only one weirded out by…this. He'd seen his face yesterday, after all. The shock and guilt had rocked him, Mikey knew. Leo had taken the shot meant for him. Mikey had seen his hard-core, hot-tempered, older brother _cry_ last night. Who knew what he was thinking. All Mikey knew was that his red-banded brother had been doing his very best to avoid the little turtle since last night.

Well, one thing he knew about his brother was that if he was upset, he took it out on his punching bag.

"Mikey!" The turtle toddler appeared in front of him. "No find Raphie!"

Mike tried to smile. "I think I know where to find him. Come on." He made to walk forward but something took his hand. Small fingers slid into his, and the orange-masked turtle looked down, trying to simultaneously rein in his astonishment, at Leo holding his hand. In his other hand hung the blue mask, its tails dragging on the floor.

"Come on," Leo said happily, tugging. "Come on!"

Mikey chuckled and led him to the dojo where, as Fate would have it, Raph was slamming around his punching bag. The repeated impact of his fists against the tough material made Leo flinch, but Mikey ushered him forward.

"It's okay, Leo," he told the toddler. "Raph's just giving his bag a beat down."

"Beat down?" Leo asked, confused. He stared up at him but his eyes kept darting to Raph.

"Yeah. Raph is playing."

"Oh. Me too?"

He'd walked into that one. "Uh, no, Leo. We're going to leave the punching bag alone. Didn't you want to ask Raphie what colour his bandana is?" he added, reminding him of their mission.

His face brightened and he released Mikey's hand to run toward Raph, the blue mask trailing behind him. "Raphie! Raphie!"

Mikey watched as his red-masked brother froze, his amber eyes falling on the toddler who approached him and then quickly glancing away to where the orange-masked turtle stood halfway between the mats and the door. Mikey strode forward easily. "Hey, Raph. Leo wants to ask you a question…"

"Later," his brother bit out, and he side-stepped the tiny turtle.

Leo tried to catch him but he missed, slipped on the mat and fell onto his hands and knees. About to rush forward, Mikey was immediately reassured when the kid picked himself up and ran after the hot-tempered turtle with an indignant "Raphie, wait!"

Raph stopped so quickly that Leo collided with his legs, and Mikey had to smile as he wrapped his little arms around Raph's limbs and poked his head between his knees.

Then Raph spoke in a voice unlike any Mikey had ever heard before: quiet but trembling and restrained, "What is it, Leo?"

As Leo grinned up at his brother, Mikey examined his immediate elder brother's face: golden-amber eyes were half-closed but he distinctly saw something shine there, as if he were on the verge of tears; lines burrowed across his forehead and disappeared beneath his mask; and his hands, which were loose fists, shook slightly at his sides.

"Colour, colour!" said Leo, still beaming away.

"Colour what?" Raph's tone sounded dead, and Mikey suddenly wondered if cornering him with the toddler had been a good idea.

"Your bandana," Mikey supplied quietly. "He wants to know the colour of your bandana."

Raph did not look at Leo as he said, "Red," and then jerked himself free of the toddler's grip and walked away, squeezing past Splinter who had appeared out of nowhere in the doorway.

Mikey gathered the tot up into his arms as the poor kid's lower lip trembled with sadness. "Hey, little buddy," he soothed. "It's okay. Did you hear what Raph said? His colour is red. Ain't that cool?" His eyes flicked to Splinter who watched them morosely from the doorway, and he steeled himself. "How about let's find some more stuff? Lots of things have colours. How does that sound?"

Leo buried his face into the orange-banded turtle's neck and sighed, "Okay."

Mikey rubbed the kid's shell as he walked out of the dojo. Splinter turned to let him pass, and the two shared a solemn glance.

Yeah. Cornering Raph with toddler-Leo had been a really bad idea.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 5

After several hours straight of pouring over blue prints and maps, and going over the building's security system (which he was sure he could hack into but whether or not he could do it undetected was another matter), Don sat back and rubbed his face. It was long past suppertime, and his stomach reminded him that he had barely eaten breakfast and had had a scanty lunch. He sighed and went out in search of something to eat.

He was wary of the eerie silence in the lair, remembering that April and Casey were supposed to come for dinner, and he wondered if they had left already.

A sudden scuffling caught his attention before he got to the kitchen and he walked down to the dojo to investigate.

Raph was going at his punching bag, tearing into it with clenched fists. He spotted Don in the doorway and paused, steadying the bag with one hand so the chain wouldn't rattle. "Hey, Don," he greeted. "Ya missed supper."

Don did not look at his brother as he said, "Yeah. I noticed. Are April and Casey gone?"

"They never came. They're outta town but they'll be back tomorrow so they'll come over then. It'd be too weird to tell 'em over the phone."

"Right. Where is everybody?"

"Mikey and Leo are playin' in Mikey's room, and Splinter went for a walk. I think he needed a break from…the lair," he finished lamely.

"You sure it wasn't you he needed a break from?" Don didn't know what possessed him to say that but looking at his normally hot-tempered brother who was now uncharacteristically calm brought his hidden anger to the surface.

Raph stared at him for a brief second and then looked away. "Yeah. Maybe," he muttered, throwing a half-hearted punch at the bag. "I guess I screwed up royally."

"You guess?" hissed Donnie. "This is all your fault."

"I know it is." Raph looked up at him with pained, golden eyes. "I know it's my fault."

This was not what Don wanted. He wanted Raph to deny it so he could yell at him. Out of all the stupid things his idiot brother had ever done, this one topped the list. "Leo would be fine if it weren't for you."

"Ya think I don't know that?" Raph demanded, heat creeping into his tone. "What d'ya want from me?"

"I want you to take some responsibility for this!" Don shouted. "Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, do something about it!"

"What can I do?" Raph shouted back. "I can't come up with plans like you. I can't take care of Leo like Mike and Splinter can. I can barely look Leo in the eye without rememberin' what we lost!"

Donnie's tone was scathing: "Oh, boo hoo! You were always fighting with him anyway! I can't remember a day that you weren't picking a fight with him. Admit it: you're glad he's gone! You're glad this happened so now you can take over the team as leader, just like you always wanted."

"That's not true!"

"Like hell it's not!"

"It's not! He's my brother, too!"

"How dare you talk about being his brother!?" Don went right at him, shoving him in the chest. "You were never a brother to him! You hated him, even though he loved you! This is all your fault! He pushed you out of the way because you were too stupid to notice the danger! You're ninja, Raph! Why the hell didn't you notice?"

"I'm sorry," Raph began.

"I don't care! I don't care if you're sorry! Leo is as good as dead now, thanks to you!"

"But he's not!" Raph shot back, unable to help the sharp retort. "We're gonna fix this. We steal the tech, reverse it – we can fix it!"

"You mean _I_ will fix it!" Don screamed. "It's always me who has to fix your screw-ups! When do you ever fix anything around here?"

"Uh, guys?" Mikey interrupted. He stood in the doorway, his eyes wide. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Don shot at him. "Nothing at all! Just the normal crap. Everything is just peachy!"

He made to turn away but Raph caught him by the shoulder. "Then tell me what I hafta do ta help fix this," he hissed. "I'm no mind-reader, Don, so quit actin' like I am one. If ya want me ta help, then all ya hafta do is ask."

"How many times have I asked for your help, and you've said no? You always say no! Even when it's for your benefit, you say no! You're too pissed at the world for not being a part of it to see that you're already a part of something right here!"

"Then give me a chance now!" Raph demanded. "Let me help you now!"

"No. I'm done asking."

"Don –"

"I SAID NO!" Don swung his bō off his back and aimed at his brother's head.

Raph ducked easily but didn't unsheathe his Sai.

Donnie advanced lethally. "Come on, Raph! Fight back!"

"Don, no, stop!" Mikey cried just as Raph said, "I won't fight ya, Donnie."

"You were always fighting with Leo! I've seen you go at each other with your weapons. Why the cold feet now? Finally growing up? Finally understanding that we might never get Leo back, and it's all your damn fault?!"

He thrusted, but Raph blocked with his forearm in a sweeping motion.

"Donnie, stop!" Mikey grabbed one of his arms but he tossed him off.

"Stay out of this, Mikey!"

"Donatello, stop!"

Donnie swung his bō towards the voice. Later he would say how it had sounded like a strange mix of Raph and Mikey: enraged but frightened at the same time. Whichever brother it was, he didn't care, until Raph dived at him with a shriek of "No!" catching the staff in both hands, his momentum making them both fall. Raph scrambled off Don, yanked the staff out of his grip and stood, trembling. His whole body vibrated, his golden eyes wide.

That was when Donnie saw what was just behind him: Leo. Sweet stars, he had almost struck Leo with his bō! He knew the force with which he wielded his staff, and knew that he would have killed the small child if Raph had not interceded. He stared up at Raph, horror in his face, and his red-masked brother knelt beside him hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Donnie rolled from his back to his knees, and wept, pressing his hands to his face. "I didn't mean it. Raph…"

Raph hugged him. His strong arms wound over his shoulders, and Don collapsed into his lap, sobbing.

"I'm sorry."

Raph stroked his head and shell gently. "I know," he murmured. "I know yer sorry. It's okay."

"Is he okay? I didn't hurt him, right?" He raised his head to see, and Raph let him. Mikey had him tucked safely on his hip a few feet away, out of his reach.

"Ya didn't touch him. See? He's fine."

"I'm sorry for what I said," Don rasped. "I didn't mean any of it."

"Ya got angry. It's okay."

"I shouldn't have said any of that."

"We all make mistakes," his brother soothed. "Question is: are ya gonna learn from yer mistake? We're still in this together, Don. We're still willin' to help ya."

Don nodded. "All right. You're right." Never thought he'd say that to Raph.

Raph kept his hands on his shoulders as he sat up. His immediate younger brother searched his eyes for a long moment before patting his shoulder and letting him go. "Come on," he encouraged. "Show me what plans ya have so far."

"It's not much," Don confessed, wiping his cheeks.

"That's fine. Mike? Want to join us?"

"No, thanks," Mikey replied stiffly. "I think Leo would do better to not be in Don's lab right now. I'll watch him out here."

Raph nodded and followed Donnie to the lab.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 6

Splinter returned in time to put Leonardo to bed and found only Michelangelo with the toddler in the living room, his youngest son trying to coerce the child into sitting still for the remainder of a movie. He had to chuckle at the sight. Out of his four sons, Michelangelo was the one with the shortest attention span, but Leonardo was clearly not interested in the film and brightened when he saw him.

"Daddy! Daddy!" he greeted cheerfully, sliding off the couch and running to him.

Splinter scooped him from the floor and tossed him gently into the air. He was rewarded with a happy shriek. "Hello, Leonardo!"

"Daddy, Donnie mad at Raphie."

"Oh?" Splinter looked at Michelangelo who shrugged from his place on the couch.

"They had a fight," he said simply.

That was not the whole story, and Splinter knew it. "Let me put your brother to bed, and then we will talk," he said.

His son just nodded, and that worried him. Despite his hurried efforts, Leonardo refused to fall asleep until he had told him two stories, and at last the child dropped off. Splinter tucked the blanket around him, kissed his forehead, and slid the paper doors closed. He returned to the living room to find Michelangelo hadn't moved from his place. The movie and TV had been turned off, and he sat with his knees tucked up to his chest, staring blankly at the black screen.

 _Where had his happy son gone?_ he wondered erratically. Michelangelo, out of all his sons, spent the most time with Leonardo. He had not seen the smile break from the young turtle's face, but now the clever rat had a terrible suspicion that the smile was a farce.

Only one way to find out. But first things first.

"Now, my son," Splinter said, sitting next to him. "Tell me what happened."

So he told him. Michelangelo only had about half the story since he hadn't been there for the first bit, but he had heard shouting and had come out of his room to investigate. He hadn't realized Leonardo had followed him until the tot had wandered into the fight and commanded Donatello to stop.

"He used his full name, Sensei," Michelangelo said quietly. "It was weird. I didn't even know Leo could _say_ Donatello."

He hadn't known that Leonardo could say it either, but the boy had always been a quick learner. He had witnessed just that afternoon Michelangelo teaching Leonardo his colours and cornering Raphael to label his bandana's hue (he shuddered at the memory of his third son's expression as he had fled Leonardo's presence). They had gone around the whole lair, naming the colours of different objects, including Klunk who had shied from the turtle tot's grabby hands and hidden under the couch.

Michelangelo continued the story, ending with his two older sons going to the lab together, their bond repaired.

Splinter sighed. He had been so concerned with Leonardo's well-being and his own feelings that he had forgotten that his remaining sons would also be in turmoil. He needed to speak with them all individually, and now was as good a time as any to start.

"How are you doing, Michelangelo?"

The young turtle looked up at him with smiling eyes. "Me, Sensei? Oh, I'm great! It's fun to play with Leo."

There it was: the farce.

"My son, I am your father. I know when you lie to me."

Michelangelo's bright face fell. Shadows entered his baby-blue eyes. "It _is_ fun to play with Leo but…I'm worried."

"About?" Splinter pressed.

"Leo. The team. The family. I'm worried about everything. Leo's our leader – what are we going to do without him? I know everyone expects me to be happy but I'm not. I'm scared, Dad. I'm scared that we won't get the tech, and that someone else will get hurt, and what'll happen if we do get it but Don can't reverse it?"

"That's a lot to be worried about," observed Splinter. "Too much, if you ask me. Have you spoken with your brothers?

"Sort of. I mean, Don had hysterics this morning, barricaded himself in his lab all day, and then tried to bash Raph's head in so it's not like we've been talking. I've tried to comfort him and be there for him, but I don't want to throw my own problems on my brothers when they're already struggling so much. And how can I help anyone when I can't help myself?"

Splinter put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder, saying, "Sometimes, my son, serving others is a great way to help you overcome your own problems. It gives you a different perspective and newer sense of purpose. You don't always have to know what to say. Sometimes, a kind deed goes farther than any words will."

Michelangelo chewed his bottom lip for a long moment then smiled up at him. "That's helpful, Sensei. Thanks."

"You are more than welcome, my son. Are Donatello and Raphael still in the lab?"

"Yeah. They've been there for about two hours now."

"Good. Would you mind keeping an ear out for your brother if he wakes? Try to get him to fall back asleep but come get me if you need help."

"Sure thing, Sensei." He walked off toward his room which was closer to Splinter's bedroom than the common area.

Splinter sighed. And now for Donatello and Raphael.

He knocked once and entered at his second eldest son's invitation. He was always impressed when he came into his son's domain – for that was what it was. Everything in here was of his creation, and he always admired his son's ambition and intellect.

Donatello looked up in surprise at him. He and his brother bent over a large sheet of blue prints. "Oh, Sensei! I thought you might be Mikey. When did you get back?"

"Not too long ago. I put Leonardo to bed and then spoke to Michelangelo. He told me a few things had transpired this evening. Would you like to tell me anything?"

The two brothers glanced at each other and to his surprise, Raphael was the first to speak. "Sensei, it was my fault. I goaded Don into a fight, and he responded."

Splinter's furry brows rose. "Are you sure?" he asked carefully. "From what Michelangelo told me, Donatello was the only one to draw his weapon."

The turtle in question reddened and looked down. "I was angry, Master Splinter, and I took my anger out on Raph when I shouldn't have. I almost hurt Leo in the process," he added, whisper-quiet.

"So your brother told me. I am not angry with either of you. I came in here to speak with you and ask how you both are doing."

The shoulders of the boys relaxed visibly, and Raphael spoke, "I think we're doin' as well as can be expected."

"And how well is that?"

"Not all that well," Donatello confessed.

Splinter beckoned his sons to sit on the nearby cots and froze when he saw the gear and katana. His heart faltered at the sight, but Raphael quickly removed them and set them on a table across the room, allowing Splinter to sit.

"I've been meaning to do that," Donatello said quietly as he, too, sat down. "I just…couldn't bring myself to touch any of it."

The old rat recovered and said gently, "My son, your brother is not dead. He is very much alive and well."

"It still feels like we lost him," Raphael put in. "Doncha think so, too, Sensei? Doncha miss him?"

"With all my heart," he replied. "But what I think you are failing to see is that Leonardo is still the turtle you know and love. He tried to stop your fight, did he not?"

"Hai," Donatello breathed. "He called me by my full name. He only ever does that when he's really stressed or angry or…"

"Assertin' his authority?" offered Raphael.

"But how would he know to do that?" Donatello asked, more to himself than to Splinter or his brother.

"I am not sure, my son," Splinter said quietly. "But we are not here to discuss Leonardo. We are here to discuss you. Michelangelo confessed his worries, and now I think it is your turn."

"Mikey?" Raphael asked, shocked.

"Yes, your brother carries a heavy burden."

"I didn't know," said Donatello. "Usually he's all happy and cheerful and comforting. I didn't even think he'd be upset by this, that we no longer have a leader, that we've lost our brother…"

"It seems that he shares your worries," Splinter continued. "He worries for your well-being, and for the success of your impending mission to Foot Headquarters. He worries Leonardo will be lost forever."

"But he won't, right?" Donatello asked. "We can fix this, right?"

"All we can do is our best, but the possibility of failure should never dissuade us from trying. That is what hope is for, after all." He tilted his head as he watched his sons react to his words, and was rewarded with small smiles. "You are all in this together, my sons. Perhaps, instead of shouldering your emotions and burdens alone, you should rally together, and that includes Michelangelo."

"Yes, Sensei," both of them chorused.

A sudden knock preceded Michelangelo who looked frazzled. "Sensei, it's Leo. He just woke up but he refuses to go back to sleep! I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a nightmare."

"A nightmare?" Splinter echoed, confused. None of his sons had had bad dreams until they were at least six or seven. This was a first. "I am coming, Michelangelo. Where is he?"

"My room."

Splinter left the lab swiftly, leaving his three sons behind. He was sure that they would talk now, and despite the impending situation with Leonardo, he was glad that his remaining sons could at last find comfort in each other. He entered his youngest son's room and was surprised at the clean floor. Leo sat on the floor wrapped in blankets.

"Daddy!" he cried when he saw him.

Splinter took him in his arms and sat on the bed. "Leonardo, my son, what is wrong? Michelangelo said you had a bad dream."

"Bad, bad dream," Leonardo moaned, clutching his kimono.

"Tell me about it. Use your words. It's all right."

The toddler sniffed. "Brothers lost," he said. "Brothers sad and alone. Dark laugh at them. Dark has blue eyes." He touched his own eyes briefly, and a chill ran down Splinter's spine. In his child's dream, Leonardo had been the darkness. "Dark too strong for me. Can't help brothers."

"Wait, my son, are you saying that you were in your dream, too?"

"Try to help Mikey but Mikey no see me. Dark laugh more. Blue eyes everywhere. I wake up."

Splinter held the child closer, his mind racing. It couldn't be… Was it even possible? One way or another, he would find out. "Come, Leonardo. Let's get you a drink and then you can go back to bed. The nightmare is gone."

He carried him to the kitchen and kept him on his hip as he prepared a particular blend that he usually only reserved for his sons when they needed to sleep but didn't want to. He cut back on the dosage by more than half and stirred it into the warm water. Sticking a straw he found into the cup, he held it up for his son. "Drink," he encouraged.

Still sniffling and trembling, Leonardo did as he was told and took a long draught. Immediately, his face pinched. "No sleep!" he begged.

How on earth did he know that was what the tea did? But Splinter thought he knew. Memories, after all, even when they belonged to someone else, were powerful things.

"Drink, Leonardo." Splinter's tone firmed – he would be obeyed.

His son pouted but responded as he had in the years long passed: he obeyed.

Splinter nuzzled him with his whiskers, making him smile. "Very good, Leonardo," he praised.

The boy answered with a wide yawn and suddenly drooping eyes, and Splinter carried him back to his room. Settling the unconscious child on the futon, he struck a match, lit a stick of incense, and sat down in full lotus.

 _Leonardo?_ he called. _Leonardo, are you here?_

To his intense disappointment, he received no reply. Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe his son was truly lost…


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: This is a very short but still necessary chapter. Enjoy! I will update again soon! Thanks again to all readers. You guys are amazing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 7

After Splinter left the room, Mikey wasn't sure if he should leave. He stayed where he was for a moment as he twisted his fingers together, his shoulders hunched inward. His elder brothers sat side by side on one of the cots, scrutinizing him, and he shifted his weight, feeling like a bug under a magnifying glass.

Then: "How're ya doin', Mike?"

Mikey started at the question but answered immediately, his smile already falling into place. "Fine! I'm fine!"

Donnie's eyes narrowed a fraction. "Are you sure? I mean…after what happened today…Sensei did say you'd talked to him."

"Whatever Sensei said, I'm sure he's exaggerating," Mikey supplied easily.

"So yer not worried at all about Leo and us goin' to get the tech and all that?" Raph asked.

Oh.

He tried, he tried so hard to keep his mouth from frowning and it was only because of fifteen years of hiding his worries that he succeeded at all.

"Well, yeah," he answered with a casual shrug. "I mean, who isn't, right? But I'm not freaking out or anything. To be honest, I don't really mind Leo being all small now. It's kind of fun."

"We noticed you've been doing a great job with him," said Don, smiling a fraction. "Sorry we haven't been much help."

Mikey sauntered forward, his fingers tucked into his belt, and plopped himself on the cot opposite them. "Nah. Don't worry about it. I'm kind of still wrapping my head around it, too."

"There's a good way ta put it," Raph mumbled. His golden eyes were keen as he stared at Mikey. "But yer sure yer okay?"

"Right as rain, dude."

There was a minute of lull in the conversation during which a large, angry rumble came from Don's stomach.

"Sorry," he said, his green cheeks barely displaying the dark red of embarrassment. "I've barely eaten all day."

 _Sometimes, a kind deed goes farther than any words will._ Master Splinter's words came back to Mikey in a rush, and he jumped to his feet.

"Come on then!" he urged, grabbing his brother's elbow and towing him out of the lab. "I know just the thing!"

Don instantly despaired. "Please, Mike, no. I don't want microwaved pizza."

"Geez, bro! Insult me, why doncha? Nah, man. We're gonna have breakfast!"

"Breakfast for supper?" Raph queried, following the pair.

"It's past suppertime," Don pointed out. It was almost ten o'clock.

"Don't be such a killjoy, Donnie!" Mikey released his brother and dug through the refrigerator. "Waffles and whipped cream and, aha! I knew we had some strawberries in here! Thank you, Casey Jones!"

"At least let us help, Mike," said Don, already reaching under the cupboard for the waffle iron.

The orange-masked turtle beamed. "Here, Raph. You can wash and cut the strawberries. Don, take the whipped cream otherwise the waffles will burn."

"They will not!" was the indignant scoff.

Mikey's smile was growing steadily larger. "Will, too! You're just as bad as Leo in the kitchen."

Don turned around very slowly and drew himself up to his full height, mock-glaring. "Considering that Leo is now a three-year-old, I take serious offense at that statement."

Mikey was undeterred as he said, "Well, it's like what Sensei always says, Donnie: we choose to be offended."

"Michelangelo!"

Even Raph was chuckling by the time the waffles were done, and Mikey felt lighter. His worries were still laden across his weary shoulders and mind but, for a while, he didn't feel the heavy burden as much. He and his brothers sat around the kitchen table, eating and laughing, and it could have been just another late-night meal for the turtle brothers.

Except one of those brothers was absent.

Yeah, Mikey felt lighter, sure, but in all honesty, did lighter feel better at all when everything was so heavy already?


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: To yukio87 (and others who are wondering when Leo's going to be sixteen again): I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to answer your question. This is mostly because I wasn't sure how to reply without spoiling the story. The majority of this story is about how everybody deals with Leo being a toddler, and how they become better persons for it. Leo is not going to be turned back to his original age anytime soon. Problems will arise - what good story doesn't have trouble? - there will be angst, fears and fluff, not to mention blood, sweat and tears before Leo is sixteen again. Be patient. We'll get there together.

In the meantime, April and Casey are paying a visit! Enjoy! Also, I have absolutely nothing against small children. April's opinions are her own.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 8

April was more than a little anxious tonight as she and Casey took the elevator from the garage down to the lair. When she had spoken with Mikey on the phone and he had invited her and Casey to dinner, she could tell his normally chip character had been off.

"What's wrong, Mikey?" she had asked.

She had at first expected him to deny anything was wrong – the kid didn't like to throw his problems on other people – and so she had been surprised when he'd mumbled, "We'll show you tomorrow," and then he'd hung up.

Four short words and the sudden end to the call had been enough to keep her antsy for the drive home from her mom's house (where Casey had officially been introduced as The Boyfriend) and awake all night. It was bad, whatever it was. At least she knew that one of them wasn't dead; they would have told her immediately and would not wait for a dinner date. Plus, Mikey had already hinted that whatever it was, it was too hard to explain. _We'll show you tomorrow_. She would need the evidence of her eyes to believe whatever awaited her and Casey.

"Hey, guys!" Casey held the door for April as he yelled into the lair.

"Ugh, Casey, not in my ear, please," April rebuked.

"Sorry, babe," the man replied, and then he sniffed. "Mmm! Somethin' smells great!"

"April! Casey!" Don greeted them warmly but there was something...wary in his expression.

April immediately pounced. "What's the matter, Donnie? You seem worked up."

Hesitation fell into those clear, brown eyes. "Well…we didn't want to tell you over the phone because it'd be too weird but…Mikey? Bring Leo in."

Casey immediately lost his exuberance and became stiff. "Has somethin' happened to Leo?"

"Yeah, Case," Raph said sullenly, appearing around the corner. "Somethin's happened."

Mikey entered from the kitchen, Leo in his arms.

Except it wasn't Leo because Leo was sixteen years old, a five-foot-tall mutant turtle with a blue mask and twin katana on his back. This _baby_ was not Leo.

Except it was.

April's hands shot to her mouth. "Oh my," she whispered.

"How'd that happen?" Casey demanded.

"The Foot engineered a new weapon," answered Don. "Leo got hit."

"Obviously!"

April slid forward cautiously to Mikey and the little Leo. He was so small, and he had none of his hard muscle. He was a pudgy, turtle baby and was quite possibly the cutest thing she had ever seen in her life. He stared at her as she neared but when she came within reaching distance, he buried his face in Mikey's neck, turning shy. But not before she had caught sight of his magnificent, navy irises set in his small, round and innocent face.

"Aren't you beautiful?" she cooed.

Raph snorted at the chosen adjective to describe his brother but clammed up when Don glared at him.

"Want to hold him?" Mikey offered.

"Can I? Oh my! Yes, yes, please!"

Mikey tried to hand him over but Leo had a death grip around his neck. "Let go, Leo," he encouraged, trying not to laugh. "It's okay. It's April. You remember April, doncha? Come on, Leo. You gotta let go of my neck. Leo!"

Raph started chortling at the hilarity unfolding but Don was more helpful, rushing to assist his youngest brother with the toddler. He successfully unwound Leo's arms, and Mikey held him out to April who took him carefully.

"He's so light!" she commented, her eyes shining with amazement. She propped him on her hip and bounced him. "Hello, Leo. Do you know who I am?"

Something in his navy eyes shifted, like the worried shyness was beaten back, and he smiled up at her. "April!" he declared. "Where's Casey?"

"Here I am, little buddy!" Casey announced, striding forward. "Ya got yerself into quite the pickle, huh?"

"We don't think he understands what happened to him," Don put in. "He's very much the average three-year-old."

"Three?" April echoed. "But he's so small!"

"That's what Don said," Raph said. "Sensei said Leo was the smallest of us for years."

"The little squirt!" Casey laughed, tickling his neck with a finger. Leo laughed and tried to grab the assaulting appendage but the man was too quick for him and poked him in the side which sparked another giggle.

"So how long will this last?" April asked as her boyfriend continued to jab gentle fingers at the toddler on her hip.

"We plan on sneakin' into Foot Headquarters and stealin' the tech that made him like this," answered Raph. "Don thinks he can reverse it."

"Then, without the tech…this is…permanent?" April gasped.

The three turtles shrugged but their nonchalance did not completely mask their strung-out nerves.

"Nothing is permanent," Splinter interrupted solemnly. He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes somber as he regarded Leo in April's arms. "Nothing lasts forever, and youth especially is fleeting. Leonardo will simply grow up again."

"A-again?" Mikey echoed, and April saw the turmoil in his baby-blue eyes. Their eldest brother reduced to a child thirteen years their junior? She couldn't even begin to comprehend how much that would hurt not just the family but Leo specifically. Leo held the family together. He was strong and calm but fierce when he needed to be. She knew being the leader had made him grow up more quickly, knew how seriously he took his responsibility of being the eldest. She didn't dare think about what he would be if he was reduced to being the baby of the family.

"That's why we're gettin' the tech," said Raph. "We won't give Leo up without a fight."

April and Casey exchanged glances. It was no uncommon knowledge that Raph had issues with Leo which resulted in a lot of heated words and sometimes violence, but the way the red-masked turtle spoke now – calmly, firmly – reminded them that, issues aside, they were still brothers. That, and the calm ferocity in his golden eyes also reminded them of Leo when he was prepping for a mission. April smiled inwardly. Maybe Raph was more like Leo than they'd thought?

It was the strangest evening April had had in a while. She and Mikey took turns keeping Leo from upending his plate and dumping juice on the floor just because, according to Splinter, he could. That was also after he had whined for a solid minute about not having his blue at the table. His 'blue' turned out to be his old mask which Mikey had said he hadn't let go of since he'd gotten hold of it yesterday. It currently sat safely out of the way of messy hands on the counter.

 _I am never having children,_ she thought to herself as she grabbed the ketchup bottle and moved it out of Leo's reach. (Apparently, Leo liked putting ketchup on everything, including cheese, bread and, strangely, fruit.) She watched him peripherally as he dunked a piece of his watermelon in the red mess on his plate and put it into his mouth, making sure his red-coated hands didn't latch onto her arm. _At least he's eating,_ she added as an afterthought.

When Leo shoved his plate away and announced "All done" at the top of his lungs, Mikey immediately leaped up, his plate only half-empty, unbuckled the toddler, cleaned him up and took him to the living room to play, taking 'blue' with him.

As soon as they were gone, though everyone could hear Leo's giggles and Mikey's laughs as they played, a heavy silence fell on the table.

Casey broke it: "How're you guys holdin' up?"

Don looked up briefly at the man before regarding his plate once more. Raph didn't even glance upward. Splinter answered, "As well as can be expected."

Clearly the words had a different meaning because both turtles flinched.

April, who sat next to the rat, put a kind hand on his arm. "We'll do whatever we can to help," she offered.

"That is kind of you, Ms. O'Neil," Splinter said, regarding her with weary, black eyes. "Perhaps if you would be willing to supply us with a few things? Mostly baby locks for doorknobs. It is a mercy he is potty trained," he added more quietly which made the woman smile.

"I'll make a list and deliver it all tomorrow," she promised. In her head she was already compiling things like sippy cups, plastic wear, toys, books, and probably a playpen, along with the requested locks. A couple of her friends had kids – maybe she could ask them for ideas or things they no longer needed?

The swift pitter-patter of tiny feet and a tug on her leg alerted her to Leo. "Play!" he commanded her, his navy eyes shining up at her with an innocence she had never seen before except with Mikey.

Speaking of which…

"No, Leo," Mikey said, swooping in and scooping the child off the floor. "I told you April is still eating. She will play with you later."

"No! Play now!" shouted Leo.

"Leonardo." Splinter's voice was kind but firm, the voice of a master parent. "If you shout, I will put you to bed right now."

The charm worked: Leo fell silent, pouting in Mikey's arms as he was carried out by the orange-masked turtle.

 _Yeah,_ April thought to herself. _I'm never having kids._

The group retired to the living room with cups of fresh tea, and watched Mikey run through colours with Leo, mostly just pointing at random objects which included their masks and the resident cat, Klunk, which steered clear of the toddler. April had to admit that, for a three-year-old, Leo had his colours down pat, for the most part anyway. The exercise tired him out, though, and soon he was curling up in Don's lap, muttering "Purple, purple" as he dozed off. April watched as the resident genius readjusted his grip on the toddler so he lay more comfortably, his tiny head nestled against his chest, and stood.

"I'll put him down, Sensei," he said quietly.

Splinter nodded, and Don left the room.

"Where does he sleep anyway?" Casey asked.

"With me," the old rat answered. "He is not big enough for a bed of his own, and I fear what might occur if he bedded with any of his brothers." He smiled at the two turtles still in the room. "He would undoubtedly fall from Raphael's hammock and get into Michelangelo's paints. I do not even want to think about him examining the explosives Donatello keeps under his bed."

Casey snorted into his teacup, and Raph and Mikey chuckled while April rolled her eyes. She really had to talk to Donnie about where he kept his not-so-secret stash of C-4.

When Donnie returned, his downcast gaze anxious, April spoke. "Don, when you get the tech, give me a call and I'll be right over."

Don nodded absently. "Thanks, April. I appreciate it. Sensei, may I go to bed, please?"

Everyone's head snapped up at the question because of them all, Don was the one who slept the least. The fact that he was turning in at eight o'clock told them just how stressed out and exhausted he really was.

Splinter inclined his head. "Of course, my son."

"Will we have trainin' tomorrow, Sensei?" asked Raph. "It's been two days."

"Yes," the rat said slowly. "I think training would be beneficial. Seven am in the dojo."

"Hai, Sensei," the three turtles replied, and Don left for bed with a murmured, "Good night, everybody."

"Night, Don!" everyone chorused.

"We don't want to intrude," April began, watching Donnie's retreating shell, but Splinter waved off her comment.

"You never intrude, Ms. O'Neil," he said kindly. "You are welcome to stay longer if you wish. Your company is always welcome."

April and Casey left less than an hour later, clearly sensing that the turtles and the rat needed the quiet peace that only sleep offered.

"Well, that was fun," Casey muttered as they drove home.

April didn't respond, staring out the window. While it had been fun to play with the little Leo and to watch his no-longer-younger brothers take care of him, she feared what she didn't dare say aloud: Leo was well and truly stuck at his new age.

She had never prayed before in her life but she found herself sending the thoughts of her heart skyward where she was sure if any deity existed would be. _Please,_ she begged. _Please, keep them safe. Please, help fix this._


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: yukio87, there is a reason why one of the genres listed for this fic is hurt/comfort. There _will_ be blood (not in this chapter) but there will also be lots of brotherly fluff. Dragoscilvio, I can believe the stories you have concerning three-year-olds. Believe you me.

Also, for future reference, I'm going to try to respond to reviews better than I have. If you, dear readers, find any grammar errors or something feels off for whatever reason, do not hesitate to let me know. I will do my best to remedy the issue. Again, thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 9

Ah, mornin' trainin': the unholy hour, the stench of sweat and Mikey's mornin' breath (Mikey, ya gotta brush yer teeth before ya come, please!), the strenuous pull of two days without activity in his muscles, his fuzzy brain as he tried to wake up properly – why had he asked Sensei if they could resume this again? Oh, that's right. He loved it. Good enough.

His gaze drifted to the corner where Leo lay on his stomach, completely absorbed in colouring. Funnily enough, the kid had awoken at the same time they had, and after eating a quick breakfast joined them in the dojo with their father's explicit warning to not wander off or wander onto the mats. So far, the kid had been doing a good job.

"Raphael, you need to readjust your footing." Splinter's voice wafted through his still-asleep brain, and he looked down to see the shoddiness of his footwork.

 _Well, shell, that's just terrible,_ he thought. Had two days really made him so sloppy? He adjusted accordingly with a low sigh which Sensei heard.

"Something the matter, my son?" he asked, his coal-black eyes darting up to his.

"No, Sensei," replied Raph. He did not elaborate, being too tired to offer an excuse, but Splinter didn't press and continued his critiquing stroll around the three turtle brothers.

"Michelangelo, your guard is too low. Donatello, tighten your stomach muscles. Very good, and turn!"

The three brothers were synchronized as they pivoted and shifted into an extended bow stance, holding the stance without trembling and giving Raph a moment to eye his brothers peripherally. Donnie was immediately on his right and his pale green skin was paler than usual. He couldn't tell with his brother's mask on but he would hazard a guess that dark circles ringed his eyes. He really hoped his older brother wasn't getting sick; they needed to be in top condition if they were going to infiltrate Saki Tower in the next few days. Maybe Raph would sneak him some of that herbal tea Splinter made for Leo all the time to help boost his immune system? Yeah, that could work, but he would have to be stealthy about it. Maybe slip some into his coffee?

He was only half-listening but he still obeyed when Splinter called for the command to roll, front snap kick, and step down into bow stance, punch, punch (extended bow stance with that punch), turn and high back stance. Mikey, now on Raph's far left, looked little better than the purple-masked turtle but his blue eyes shone with the promise of a new day. Raph had always envied his little brother the ability of being a morning person. It took him at least half an hour to wake up but Mikey was bouncing around inside of seconds of exiting his room. Today, though, there was an obvious drag in his body as he performed the kata, his normal enthusiasm depleted in the wake of stressful nights caused by recent events. Perhaps Raph should slip him some of Splinter's tea, too? Geez, why not group everyone around the table and have a tea party? They all looked like they needed it, even Splinter whose grey fur looked greyer and whose whiskers drooped slightly.

They finished the kata a minute later, bowing to their sensei, and moved onto sparring, and Raph immediately noticed a problem: without Leo, their numbers were uneven.

"Raphael, defend yourself from Donatello and Michelangelo. No weapons," was Splinter's only instruction. "Begin!"

Well, that was one way to remedy the situation. Raph barely had time to get into a proper stance before his brothers rushed him, a wave of muscle, but he managed to duck Mikey's first strike, block Don's kick, block Mikey's second punch, v-step around Don and kick his older brother straight into the younger. They fell in a heap, and Raph blinked at how easy that had been.

His own brothers regarded him with a strange mixture of respect and annoyance as they picked themselves off the floor.

"Is that a new record?" he couldn't help but ask cheekily.

"Actually, Raphael, it is not." Splinter smiled at him. "Leonardo bested the three of you with a time two seconds shorter. Again, and keep an eye on your footing, Raphael."

"Hai, Sensei," he breathed as he faced off once more against his brothers.

The two switched tactics without speaking, and Don flipped over him expertly, revealing Mikey's incoming fist. Raph blocked, grabbed his brother's arm with his left hand and guided him past with his right, intending to slam his younger brother into the older, but Don was no longer there. Mikey hit the wall, and Raph spun around to find his brother. He didn't see him.

Wait, he knew this trick. Leo did this often: the Way of Silence, disappearing into the shadows, using one's environment against an opponent. Raph was ready when Donnie dropped from the pipes above. He dodged to the side, using his momentum to kick out – not to land a strike but to ward him away as he regained his balance. Mikey had recovered and leaped back into the fray, coming at him from the side. For a brief second, Raph's hand twitched instinctively towards the Sai in his belt but then he remembered Splinter's command of no weapons. This was an exercise in hand-to-hand, to think quickly and not to rely on a weapon that could be taken from him (not that he had ever been disarmed in mock-combat). He engaged Mikey first and recalled how Leo had used to fight against the three of them or just multiple opponents in general. Raph had made fun of his eldest brother and his 'twirling' technique ( _You look like a ballerina, Leo! Trying out for the Russian Ballet?_ ), but now he put it to good use. He grabbed Mike with his right hand, pummelling him gently with his left in his unprotected kidney, and spun with him to keep Don from landing a hit on his more vulnerable front and sides. His purple-masked brother snarled through his teeth as he punched his shell, and Raph grinned, finally letting Mikey go – straight into Donnie. They fell gracelessly to the floor, and Mikey moaned from nausea.

"Do not throw up on me!" Donnie warned, squirming out from under their youngest brother. He got to his feet, shaking out his bruised left hand and looking at Raph with something close to…admiration? "Training for the Russian Ballet, Raph?" he teased.

"Dude, that was awesome!" Mikey put in, still on the floor. "I thought only Leo could fight like that!"

Raph shrugged and said nothing, his gaze flicking to the toddler still happily colouring in his corner. He was secretly surprised the kid had lasted almost two hours on one task, but then again, that was just like Leo.

"Well done, Raphael," Splinter praised as he stepped near. "Now, who wants breakfast?"

"Hungry, hungry!" Leo piped up, overhearing.

Mikey chuckled and swooped in to pick up the toddler but paused as he took in the drawings (scribbles). "Wow, Leo. Those pictures look great! Want to stick them on the fridge?"

Leo looked up, his navy eyes shining. "Yes, yes, please!" he squealed.

Raph watched his two little brothers gather up the papers and take them to the kitchen, and followed, Don and Splinter behind him.

"You really did well, Raph," said Don, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Indeed," added Splinter. "You utilized new techniques to your advantage. Your skill set is definitely improving."

Raph looked at neither of them, instead examining his hands which were littered with battle scars. "Thanks," he mumbled.

Splinter patted his other shoulder and moved ahead towards the kitchen.

Don's grip tightened, making Raph stop and turn. "What's the matter, Raph? You're quiet these days, and it's freaking us out."

"I'm fine," he muttered, shaking his head. "Really."

His brother smiled sadly at him. "You never could lie. Come on, bro. You can tell me. What's eating you?"

Raph glanced up, met his brother's eyes fleetingly, and dropped his gaze back to his hands.

There was a reason Donnie was the genius. "It's Leo, isn't it?"

Raph's eyes burned with held back tears as he said, "I didn't mean to do those moves in trainin'. It just seemed so natural to do 'em. I knew they were Leo's but it feels like I betrayed him. I can barely look at him, Don. I can't touch him. He's a kid now, and it's all my fault. It should have been me. You were right: I was stupid, I didn't see the danger, and now Leo's stuck like this." He looked up, amber meeting mahogany. "It should have been me, and I know I should be ticked at the Foot but I can't be. I'm just too tired to be angry anymore." He finally abandoned all hope of keeping his face dry because tears flowed, hot and fast, down his cheeks.

Donnie almost panicked at the sudden burst of raw, not-angry emotion, but thank heaven for his brother's calm demeanour in the face of a challenge. He slowly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Raph tensed for a moment – a hug? Really, Don? – but it felt good, and he couldn't help but cling to him, sobbing, weeping and letting it all out.

After several, long minutes, Raph managed to speak but all that came out was a slurring moan of words against his brother's shoulder.

"Say that again, Raph," he encouraged. "I didn't hear."

"We hafta fix this," he said more clearly.

Don rubbed his shell, and Raph felt him wince and remembered his bruised hand. "We will. We have to believe we will. But you can't bottle all your feelings up, Raph. You got to let it out or it's going to eat you alive."

It already felt like he was being eaten alive. Guilt, remorse and shame gnawed on his heart and mind. "I'm just so tired," he confessed, whisper-quiet.

"Then go to bed. You can eat later. Go. I'll tell Sensei. Just go to bed, Raph."

"…Okay," he said at last. He pulled back and sniffed, wiping the heel of his hand over his eyes. "Don't tell Mikey."

Donnie smiled and took his shoulder. The comfort and confidence Raph could feel in that strong grip eased his anguished soul a fraction; Don was just like Leo that way. "Never, bro."

The red-masked turtle retreated to his room but before he could crawl into his hammock, his eyes fell on a box on his dresser. He knew what it contained, a Christmas present from Leo last year: two meditation candles, a packet of sandalwood incense sticks, and a blown glass stick holder. He hadn't used any of it, preferring to meditate only when Splinter asked them to during training. Meditating was Leo's thing – had been Leo's thing. He'd never understood the burning drive his elder brother had had to kneel or sit for hours on end in semi-darkness.

Splinter always said that meditation was training for the soul more so than for the mind or body.

Before he knew what he was doing, his left hand picked up the box and his right found the small box of matches in his top drawer. He settled on the floor in a half-lotus, set up the candles and incense, lit them carefully and closed his eyes. _He would meditate for only a little while,_ he thought as the scent of sandalwood permeated the air, _twenty minutes, a half hour max, and then he would sleep._


	10. Chapter 10

Happy Monday, everyone! Don't forget to review, please. I enjoy seeing how much you guys enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 10

Looking up from dumping ketchup on Leo's plate, Mikey was not surprised but still saddened when Don arrived in the kitchen alone.

"He's gone back to bed" was all his brother said as explanation.

"He looked like he needed some more beauty sleep," Mikey said, trying for humour.

A small smile tugged at Don's mouth. "In that case, I think we all need some more beauty sleep," he retorted as he grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, wrapped it in a tea towel, and applied it to his bruised left hand before taking a seat at the table well out of Leo's messy reach. "Hey, Sensei, do we still have that remedial tea for low immune systems?"

"Does Raphael require a cup?" Splinter asked, his question innocent but his eyes sharp.

"I think we all need a cup," was the quiet reply. "These last few days have drained us of energy."

"Maybe Leo ate it?" joked Mikey. He nodded to the toddler in his high chair who enthusiastically devoured his scrambled eggs with sausage, cheese, and lots of ketchup.

"Yeah, maybe." His brother looked down at his ice-pack-covered hand.

"I will set the kettle on," Splinter said, taking Don's shoulder comfortingly. "Would you like some sausage with your eggs, Donatello?"

"Please, Father. Thank you."

Mikey sat next to his older brother. "How's your hand?"

"It's feeling better. Thanks, Mike."

He hesitated and then broached the subject weighing on his mind: "Raph sure was something in training, huh?"

"Yeah."

A monosyllabic answer from Don? The genius chatter-box who couldn't speak plain, dumbed-down English to save his life? Was the world ending? "It was…kind of freaky. He moved just like Leo used to."

"Yeah. I know."

"…Is he okay?"

Don sighed and looked up at him. Mikey searched his eyes, desperately wanting to understand what his hot-tempered brother was thinking. "He's…conflicted. He's not doing so great." He looked away, fingering a corner of the tea towel. "The guilt is going to kill him if we don't fix this," he informed the near-silent kitchen, the spat of oil in the pan and Leo's happy munching the only sounds. He glanced at Splinter who watched him with intense, onyx eyes. "He's too tired to be angry."

One pair of black eyes and one pair of baby-blue widened with shock, and Mikey's thoughts went through a loop. Raph wasn't angry? Not at himself? Not at the Foot? The world really _was_ ending. Everything had been turned on its head. Raph was always angry. Even when he was happy, he was angry. He was their perpetual, hot-headed and foul-tempered brother, something they could almost always count on. But these last few days had erased that part of him, leaving, according to Don, soul-eating guilt and a bone-deep exhaustion that was not helped by obviously sleep-less nights.

"All done!" Leo announced, grabbing the air between himself and Mikey. "Mikey, down!"

Mikey went through the motions of cleaning up the toddler absentmindedly, his focus all for the worry for his immediate older brother. He barely noticed when Leo ran happily away. But he did notice when the child paused and sniffed the air.

"Mikey, burning!"

"It's just Sensei cooking, Leo," Don answered. "You can smell the stove and the sausage."

But Leo shook his head, sniffed again and wandered farther away from the kitchen. "Daddy, burning." He pointed up at the second level towards the bedrooms.

Splinter's low ears shot upward as he, too, sniffed. "Michelangelo, watch the stove!" he nearly shouted as he raced out of the kitchen.

"You know, I can smell something burning, too," Mikey said nervously. He dashed to the stove, turned it off, took the pan off the burner, and followed Splinter, Don right behind him.

They arrived at Raph's door which was flung wide. Peeking around Sensei, Mikey's jaw dropped open. Raph sat on his bedroom floor, his back to them, with two meditation candles and a stick of incense. The unexpected scent of sandalwood filled the room, and the orange-masked turtle's heart sank an inch or two in his chest. Last year for Christmas, Leo had gifted everyone with individual meditation kits, complete with candles, blown glass holders and a box of incense sticks: Mikey had gotten magnolia incense, Donnie honeysuckle, Splinter Nag Champa, and Raph sandalwood. He knew for a fact that everyone had used the last of their incense a month ago, except Raph who hadn't even used one stick. Raphael didn't exactly hate meditation but he didn't like it either. He never went out of his way to do it, preferring to have it asked of him during training rather than enjoy personal and private sessions; but there he sat, as unmoving as stone, putting Leo's gift to use, and quite possibly unaware that he had an audience.

Mikey grabbed Leo when the kid tried to squeeze past Splinter into the room, and dragged him away with a finger on his lips to keep him quiet.

Splinter turned away and closed the door soundlessly, and together the four family members returned to the kitchen.

"He really isn't okay, is he?" Mikey asked solemnly as he plopped into a chair and let go of Leo who, instead of running away to play, stayed where he was and watched the conversation with wide eyes.

"I've never seen him meditate on his own time," added Donnie, his gaze averted.

Splinter returned the pan to its burner and set a full kettle on to boil. "At least your brother is seeking a more constructive remedy than turning to his usual outlets."

"Like tearing apart the punching bag or sneaking out topside or beating me to a pulp?" muttered Mikey.

"You may notice that those require physical activity," Splinter pointed out, flipping over the eggs. "And while I can appreciate the advantages that come with working through problems via physical exercise, sometimes the mind requires more careful attention. It appears that Raphael is figuring that out, just as Leonardo did."

All three pairs of eyes fell on the toddler who smiled up at them.

"What can we do, Sensei?" Mikey asked, his eyes filling.

Splinter sighed and looked away, and a pang of anguish tore through Mikey's heart as he watched his father struggle to be strong. "We can only remain watchful over each other," he said at last, quietly.

Mikey hesitated for a moment, biting his lower lip, then got up from his chair and went to the old rat. He wrapped his arms around his dad's shoulders and ignored it when Splinter stiffened in surprise. "That means we'll watch over you, too, Dad," he murmured.

Sensei's whole body relaxed and he bowed his head, patting Mikey's arm. "Thank you, my son," he said, and Mikey could have sworn that, even though he couldn't see Sensei's face, the weary rat was crying.


	11. Chapter 11

Just a few more fluffy moments and then action's gonna happen! Also, in reference to the "beat downs", yes, this is what my brother does with his almost-three-year-old daughter. It actually is wrestling, light and completely harmless. She even asks for them (which is at the same time hilarious and weird): "Beat down, Daddy? Beat down?" DO NOT call child services! It's just a name! And what's in a name? *literary smirk* Please review. They make my heart happy and they're really motivating.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 11

As soon as breakfast was over, Don purposefully did not flee to his lab. He willed himself to follow Mikey and Leo to the common area and watch them play instead of locking himself in with his papers and projects. He knew he still needed to go over a few things before their plans to infiltrate Saki Tower were finalized (not the least of which was tracing that interesting energy signature he'd found on the Brooklyn roof), but he couldn't find it in his heart to ignore his family, especially after Mikey's declaration of loving wisdom in the kitchen.

 _We'll watch over you, too, Dad._

Donnie's heart squeezed at the words. Splinter had always taken care of them. From Day One he had fed them, bathed them, tucked them into bed, kissed their booboos, chastised them when they'd done wrong, and trained the ever-loving daylights out of them so that they could protect themselves and each other when they ventured to the surface. It was more than past time to return the favour. Sensei and Mikey were right: they needed to watch over each other and certainly much more carefully than in previous situations.

So Donnie watched.

He watched as Leo begged from Mikey his favourite game (Toss), watched as his little brother gently threw the toddler onto the couch again and again, watched how the smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes, watched the tiny lines that had formed who knew when trace a path across his forehead.

Eventually Toss was exhausted but Leo was not, and he giggled when Mikey asked if he wanted a "beat down".

Yes, Don had heard correctly, though he was surprised at the name of the game. As it turned out, it was simply wrestling. Mikey grabbed Leo up, one arm wrapped around his torso, the other around his legs, and lifted him into the air.

"Beat down!" he shouted as he fell in a controlled fall onto the floor, Leo rolling against his chest. Leo squealed and Mikey let go, only to grab him by the wrist as he tried to scramble away. Twisting expertly, Mikey managed to get under the toddler. Lying on his back, he hoisted him into the air, his shins supporting the precious cargo who was on his stomach, their hands interlocked. Then Mikey pushed with his legs, flipping Leo neatly over his head. The toddler stuck the landing, and grinned, clapping.

"Again, again!" he cried.

So Mikey did it one, two, three, four more times. When "Again, again!" came once more, Mikey grinned.

"Oh, I don't know, Leo," he said, his tone suddenly a playful growl. "I don't think the monster wants to go again." He lunged to his hands and knees, keeping his head low: a predatory stance.

Don smiled as his orange-masked brother charged at the turtle-tot with a ferocious roar.

"AHHHHHH!" Leo screamed, running away. "Donnie, help, help!"

"I'll save you, Leo!" Don found himself saying while swinging his bō off his back. He planted one end into the floor and vaulted clear over Leo, landing between him and Mikey, and brought the other end down to meet the floor mere inches from Mikey's beak. He was conspiratorially pleased when his little brother skidded to a halt and looked up at him. Brown eyes narrowed. Baby-blue eyes widened.

"Aw, shell!" Mikey spat as he threw himself backward. "No fair, Donnie!"

"Muahahaha!" laughed Donnie as he launched himself at his brother. "Monster's getting the beat down now!"

"Get him, Donnie! Get him!" Leo encouraged from his safe place beside the couch.

Don laughed again as he gently thrusted his bō under Mikey, neatly knocking one of his arms out. Mikey went down with an un-ninja-like crash, and Leo cheered.

"Yay! Monster gone! Thank you, Donnie!" He raced forward and latched onto his leg, looking up at him with familiar, navy eyes.

"Ow," Mikey grumbled, sitting on his behind and rubbing his arm. "That's gonna bruise, Don," he chastised lightly.

"Barely," Don scoffed. "I didn't hit you that hard. Besides," he smiled evilly, "everyone knows the monster never wins."

Mikey scowled but only for a moment and then the smile won out, and Don secretly relished how it lit his blue eyes. He smiled back at his brother, and that glorious, bright and sunny smile widened.

Maybe he should come out of his lab more often?

Leo let go of his leg to inspect his bō but, to his surprise, didn't touch it. Leo touched _everything_ unless specifically warned not to by Splinter; but even though Sensei had told the toddler not to touch anything in the dojo, they had unintentionally forgotten to mention their personal weapons, and so Don had to wonder why his brother wasn't running his chubby, tot fingers over the wood now.

He crouched beside him and offered the staff on open palms. "Would you like to see?" he asked. "It's okay to touch it."

But Leo shook his head vehemently. "Yours," he mumbled.

 _It was a strange sense of possession the kid had,_ Don thought. "Yes, Leo, this is mine, but I'm letting you touch it. You can if you want to. It's okay."

Leo looked visibly torn: his hand hesitated in the air mere inches from the bō but he held back for some very strange, very unknown reason. At last, the hand dropped but not onto the staff, to his side. "Yours," he repeated quietly and he turned away, grabbing up Blue and trotting toward Splinter, asking, "What doing, Daddy?"

While Splinter responded, Don and Mikey shared glances.

"What was that about?" Mikey demanded, his tone hushed so Splinter wouldn't overhear. "He wouldn't touch it."

"I don't know," replied Donnie. "It's weird."

"I'll say! That kid has almost ransacked my paints twice! He knows they're mine but I literally had to get down into his face and order him to not touch them."

"Your paints?" Don asked quizzically.

"Yeah, my paints! He almost dumped a whole can of –"

"Has he ever gotten hold of your nunchaku?" he interrupted.

Mikey derailed, blinking for a moment. "Well…no. Come to think of it, he's never made a move for them. Not while we're playing, not ever. I even left them on the couch yesterday and he sat right next to them but he never touched them. I didn't really notice 'cause I was too busy grabbing them away from him but…no, he's never laid a hand to them."

 _Yours._

Don's brain construed three dozen hypotheses inside of seconds and then promptly eliminated two thirds of them, and he did his absolute best (for the sake of Mikey's sanity and his own, unbruised face) to speak slowly: "Unless you were hurt, I never touched your weapons, Mike."

"What are you saying, Donnie?" The way Mikey said it wasn't like _speak English_ but rather _what are you getting at?_

Donnie looked away toward where Splinter had disappeared with Leo – maybe Sensei was going to teach him meditation? He had to suppress a snort. Because _that_ would turn out well. Not. He looked back at his brother who watched him warily. "Think about it, Mikey. When have we ever actually come into contact with each others' weapons? And I don't mean on the receiving end."

The young turtle frowned and then realization dawned in his face. "Only when we couldn't carry them ourselves."

"Exactly," Don said with a sagely nod. "The day Master Splinter gave us those weapons was the day he made sure that they were ours, and that each of us knew that. He always went on about how a ninja's weapons were an extension of his soul. To handle another's weapon was to handle his soul, and that was too personal. It was a forbidden boundary to cross, and we knew that only under extenuating circumstances that we ever should."

"So…" Mikey said slowly, "you're saying that Leo, who is three years old, _knows_ not to touch our weapons?"

Don frowned. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous. He might be only three, Mike, but he was our sixteen-year-old brother. His subconscious might be attributing to his behavior. I mean, eleven years of training is kind of hard to simply brush aside, de-aged or no."

Mikey regarded him sharply. "You think his subconscious is intact?"

Donnie sighed, rubbing his face with both hands, and answered, "I don't know, and it's not like I can find out. There's no quantifiable way to measure subconscious brain waves. Brain waves are brain waves," he added, seeing Mikey's confusion. "They only change based on frequencies which in turn correlate to the current state of consciousness."

Pause.

"Brain waves don't age like our bodies do," he said after rummaging through his head for the proper vernacular. "They only change when we move from one consciousness to another, like going from sleep to wakefulness, or reading to watching TV."

"So it's impossible to tell if Leo's subconscious is _Leo's_ and not the three-year-old's," Mikey deduced at last.

"Yes. That's also going with the assumption that Leo's subconscious is even present, and you never assume anything in science."

"But you just said…" began Mikey, but Don cut him off.

"I know what I said!"

Mikey flinched away from him and Donnie kicked himself mentally.

"Look, Mikey," he said gently, "I want him back as much as you do, but we can't jump to wishful thinking just because it _might_ explain some weird bit of behavior in an already weird kid."

"Weird is a side-effect of awesome," Mikey interjected quietly, smiling a little.

"Yes, yes, granted. My _point_ is that we're working on a _plan_. We get the de-aging gun, we reverse it, shazam: Leo is restored to all his angst-riddled, katana-wielding, sixteen-year-old glory." He smiled when his little brother chuckled, and he took his shoulder, making him look at him. "We got this, bro. Definitely not today and probably not tomorrow, but we got it. Okay?"

Mikey regarded him for a long moment, still smiling that sunbeam smile. "Okay, Don. Now, I gotta ask, since you brought it up, what is our plan?"

"It still needs some tweaking," Don replied, "but do you want to see?"

"Do mutant ninja turtles eat pizza?" Mikey shot back with a laugh.

Donnie chuckled and shook his head as he led the way to his lab, his thoughts already filling with Saki Tower.


	12. Chapter 12

Reviews are appreciated. Let me know what you think. Thanks again for reading! Chapter 13 will be mission time!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 12

Raph emerged from his room just a few minutes after noon. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, he worked out the kink in his left shoulder that had come from sleeping on that side for almost two hours. He didn't know whether to be surprised or perturbed by the fact that he had meditated for a solid sixty-eight minutes of his own free-will, but he did know that he felt better than he had this morning, heck, than the last few _days_. He felt…lighter. Sure, that word worked. His headache was gone, the tension in his neck had eased, even his gut didn't feel so hollow – maybe he should meditate more often? It was a question he seriously entertained as he strolled into the kitchen, bee-lined for the bread box, and dug through the fridge for mayo, meat, cheese and, yes, tomatoes! He stared at the red fruit in his hand for a moment and something Splinter had said long ago came back to him: _Knowledge is knowing tomatoes are fruit; wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad._

"Poor little tomato-fruit," Raph found himself saying out loud. "Nobody wants ya in their fruit salad. But ya do make nice sandwiches so there's that, I guess. I don't like apples in my sandwiches."

"Raphael?"

The red-masked turtle spun, almost crushing the tomato as he narrowly avoided clenching his hand into a fist. His whole family sat at the table and watched him, their lunch of fresh ramen half-eaten. He was very grateful he was green as his whole face flooded with green's natural colour-opposite. Any stranger might have thought there was no visible change, but the turtles and rat who knew him best tried to hide smiles at Raph struggling to speak.

"Hi, Raphie!" Leo greeted exuberantly, smiling at him with soya sauce dribbling down his chin.

"Hey, Leo," replied Raph a little hesitantly, but he was rewarded with a wider grin which made him smile a little in turn.

"There is still ramen in the pot, my son," Splinter said kindly. "Would you like to join us?"

"Sure." Raph returned the sandwich ingredients to their rightful places but kept the bread mostly because he had already touched it but also because he liked to mop up the sauce with it.

Don set a bowl and chopsticks out for him while watching him in his peripheral vision. "You doing okay, bro?" he asked.

Raph helped himself to the pot. "Yeah," he said. "I guess I really needed that nap."

"You do look better," Mikey put in. "Not that you looked bad before," he added quickly. "It's just you were really pale this morning during training."

"Here." Don set a cup of steaming tea in front of him, and Raph knew by its scent that it was Sensei's immune system blend. "We can't afford to get sick."

The red-masked turtle caught the plural and raised a brow ridge at his elder brother. "You've had a cup?"

"We all have," Splinter said dryly, taking a sip of his own tea.

Raph took a swig of the herby brew before shoveling food into his mouth. Man, was he ever hungry; he hadn't eaten since supper last night.

Mikey leaned back in his chair, strangely nonchalant. "When you're done eating, Raph, we're headed for Saki's mansion."

 _Cough, cough, cough!_ Raph hacked on his noodles, choking and gagging, and Don thumped him on the back with a fearful "Are you okay?!"

It was still several seconds before Raph could get enough air in his lungs to speak, and he was very aware of Donnie half-rising from his chair, readying to perform the Heimlich. He waved him back down with a hand, and Don obeyed…very slowly.

"You okay, Raphie?" Leo asked, his eyes large in his face.

"Fine," Raph squeaked. He cleared his throat. "Fine, yeah, I'm fine." He glared at Mikey who was more horrified than pleased by his reaction to the joke. "Don't say stuff like that when a guy's eatin', Mike," he grumbled.

"Sorry," his little brother said hurriedly. "I didn't think you'd choke."

Raph sneered at him over his chopsticks and chewed another mouthful before speaking: "You were joking, though, right?"

"My son, it is broad daylight," said Splinter, ever wise and sensible. "I wouldn't let you set foot out of the lair until dusk at least."

"Oh. Right." Well, he felt foolish. He ate some more to cover his embarrassment but then his brain picked out a detail Mikey had dropped. "Wait, Saki's _mansion_?"

"The weapon gives off a unique energy signature that I've been able to trace," explained Don. "I had to completely refigure my plan because it's not at Foot Headquarters like we'd thought."

"So there'll be fewer heads to bust," Mikey added.

"It'll be strictly recon," Donnie corrected, exasperated. "Get in and get out."

"Yer no fun. I could do with bustin' a few heads." Raph spun the chopsticks expertly before taking another mouthful.

"We want to bust as few heads as possible, if any at all," retorted the resident genius. "Besides, even after Shredder's fall, we don't know about Karai. Chances are she's taken up his inglorious cause and has replenished the Foot ranks. We cannot and will not wage a war," he emphasized, staring Raph in the eye. "Not when we have work to do if we succeed."

"If?" Mikey echoed.

"We're not strollin' 'round Casey's farm, Mikey," Raph reminded him. He glanced back at Don. "What're our chances?"

"Not the best but we've pulled through with worse."

"We also had Leo with us," Mikey pointed out in a small voice.

"Can it!" snapped Raph automatically. Everyone at the table, including Sensei and Leo, flinched. He sighed, closed his eyes, and opened them again, meeting his little brother's frightened gaze. "Leo's why we're doin' this," he said more calmly. "I know he's not here right now but we can't let that stop us. He wouldn't give up if it were any of us so we won't either." He held those round, baby-blue eyes for a second more before turning to Donnie's concerned brown ones. "When?"

"Three nights from now. There'll be no moon, not that it'll make much difference with all the light pollution but you never know."

Raph had to grin. They were ninja to the core.

At just that moment, Mikey's phone rang.

"Michelangelo," Splinter rebuked. He had a strict no-phones-at-table rule.

Mikey smiled apologetically as he answered, "Hey, April. Sup? ...Oh, really? Right now? … Yeah, sure. I'm coming up…Yep, see you soon." He disconnected. "April has our supplies," he announced. "She's got a van full of stuff."

Raph downed the last of his tea, shoved his bread into his mouth and stood to help, Don right behind him. Splinter quickly cleaned up Leo and followed them, the toddler on his hip.

April had backed the van right into the garage so they could unload without being seen by any passersby, and opened the back and side doors to reveal the haul.

"Gee, April! Did ya get enough stuff?" Raph quipped when he saw the boxes stacked to only a few inches shy of the vehicle's roof. He also spotted a rocking chair.

April laughed and climbed into the back to hand stuff out. "My friends have kids and they were more than willing to supply everything and anything. I did mention that we were good on the clothes front, though," she added with a wink.

"I'm just glad we don't have to deal with diapers," Mikey said, his nose wrinkling.

"Who is this 'we', Michelangelo?" Splinter asked, a twinkle in his eye. "I dealt with four times as many diapers. I've had my fill for a lifetime, and would have happily designated you on diaper duty should that have been the case."

Mikey scowled as Raph and Don guffawed.

Leo squealed happily, joining in. "Down, Daddy! Down, please!"

"All right, Leonardo. There you are."

Raph watched the toddler peripherally as he ran to the van and beamed up at April. "Hi, April! What doing?"

"Hi, Leo! I'm playing Santa Clause. Want to see?"

"Yes, yes, please!" Leo stepped away so April could set her box down in front of him and open it with a utility knife. "Ooooooh!" He dug in with glee, and produced Fisher-Price cars and stuffed animals. "Soft," he whispered, stroking the fur on a panda.

April smiled over his head at the older turtles. "We can go through it, and I'll donate what you don't want. Baby locks should be in that box," she added, pointing to the box currently in Raph's arms.

Raph looked over at his father. "Do ya want me to start puttin' them on now, Sensei?" he asked.

Splinter smiled, his whiskers twitching. "If you would, Raphael. Thank you. Make sure to include Donatello's lab and the bathroom. _Someone_ forgot to watch Leonardo this morning and I caught him swishing his hands in the toilet." He fixed Michelangelo with a pointed stare while April gagged.

"That is so gross!" she complained.

"So gross!" Leo echoed cheerfully. "Ewwww!"

"Don't worry, Sensei," said Raph as he turned to the elevator. "When I'm done, Leo won't be able ta go anywhere without us knowin'."

"Go-go, Raphie?" Leo asked. "Go-go?"

Raph rearranged his grip on his box so he could hold out a hand. "Come on, Leo. You can help."

"Okay! Help! Bye, April!" The toddler raced away, the panda tucked under his arm, and took Raph's hand. "Come on, Raphie! Come on!"

Raph ignored the surprised looks from his family as the elevator doors slid shut, smiling down at Leo who looked up at him with shining, navy eyes.

 _This really ain't so bad,_ he thought while Leo giggled and swung from his hand. Sure, he missed his sixteen-year-old brother but there was just something about having a kid-turtle look up at him like he was the sun or something that made him feel…different. _It's a good different,_ he decided.

It was a pity it wouldn't last.

The next three days found the family settling into a routine. Though their normal routine of training in the mornings, followed by breakfast, then exercise, then lunch and downtime in the afternoon was no different, it all centered on Leo now, with the exception of training. Meals became a much messier ordeal, and a round of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock was the only way to decide who would clean the toddler and the space he had occupied. As it turned out, Raph was terrible at the game but he consented to his perpetual defeat, knowing that he would beat his brothers in the dojo later. Exercise comprised mostly of playing with Leo, the games involved ranging from hide-and-seek to beat downs to building pillow forts. After lunch was quiet time, when Leo either napped or they all pulled out books, crayons or paint; and all too soon, the fridge was covered with papers of scribbles and tiny handprints in multiple colours.

The baby locks were a blessing and a curse because Leo was immediately frustrated when he couldn't open doors he had previously been able to. The _screams_ that resulted. When Casey came by to hang out that first evening after April had dropped off the stuff, Raph heard him mutter something about "terrible two's, thrillin' three's, formidable four's and freaky five's" and was inclined to agree. The first day and a half were awful but once Splinter had rebuked the child for screaming in the first place, he figured out that the locks were there to stay and that asking nicely would easily remedy a closed door with very few exceptions (mostly the bathroom).

Raph did his best to not think about the impending mission, instead working out in the dojo and meditating in his room. He still didn't enjoy meditation but there was something about it that was reminiscent of Splinter's herbal teas: unpleasant but beneficial. That, and the scent of sandalwood was beginning to grow on him. When he wasn't in the dojo or his room, he was playing with Leo who was shadowed constantly by Mikey, and Don when he came out of his lab (which was a lot more often now). Raphael was glad that Don didn't shut himself up in his lab as much anymore, and was surprised to hear him laughing more than once at the child's antics. He'd forgotten how light-hearted Donatello could be, although Mikey certainly had a hand in that, as well. For Raph, the sight of the toddler still rocked him; he was not used to not seeing his eldest brother, blue-masked with his katana on his back, and he wondered if he ever would be. But then he had to remind himself that he didn't have to get used to it because they would fix it. Leo would be sixteen years old again before they knew it, and the tickle wars, pillow forts and paintings would all be a distant memory.


	13. Chapter 13

Mission is a go!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 13

It was three days after April had dropped off the baby supplies, six days after Leo had been turned into a kid. Plans had been finalized, everyone knew what to do, and now Raph and his brothers stood on the roof two buildings away from Oroku Saki's mansion, the hot July night blowing their mask tails behind them. His blood sang in his veins as his heart pumped adrenaline through his body, readying for what he hoped was _not_ an inevitable fight. Raph removed one of his Sai from his belt, spun it three times, stuck it back in his belt and followed Donnie off the roof with Mikey right behind him.

It was Don's plan so Don took the lead, and Raph didn't mind one bit. In fact, he was glad Don was leading because that meant that any Foot idiot they came across would receive a well-earned bash to the head courtesy of the red-banded turtle. They knew the numbers and routes of the regular patrols, and could have walked the mansion blind-folded with how many times they'd snuck in here, but Don the Master Planner had left nothing to chance, and so they had re-memorized the schematics of the ways in and out, and the route they would take if all went well. It was a small mercy that the de-aging weapon gave off a specific energy signature so Don had been able to track its location if it moved at all; over the course of three days, it hadn't moved from a particular room on a particular floor. They flitted across the well-kept grounds like wraiths and with all the skill of trained ninja, the three brothers infiltrated and crept through the halls of their most persistent adversary towards the room on the fourth floor. Raph kept his Sai at the ready but Don's plan was so perfect that they saw and were seen by no one. Nevertheless, the back of his neck prickled: something wasn't right.

But he didn't have time to voice his concerns because they had arrived. Having successfully hacked into the mansion's security undetected, Don punched in the access code in the keypad that was the only guard for the room and its dangerous treasure.

"Child's play," Raph heard him mutter under his breath as the door swished open.

Raph chuckled and kept close to his brothers as they entered, peering into the gloom – which suddenly vanished in a burst of fluorescent light.

"Motion sensors," Don explained absently but then he pulled up short and said, "Whoa."

Raph almost back-pedalled out of the room because it was not a laboratory as they had all thought: it was someone's personal quarters. Whoa was right.

"Five bucks say this is Karai's," he grumbled.

"Please don't say stuff like that, Raph," Mikey begged in a whisper. "She could be here."

"She's not," replied Don. "Motion-sensor lights. They'd already be on if she were here. Raph, help me look for the gun. Mikey…"

"Stand guard, I know," the youngest turtle replied. "We all know the plan, Donnie."

Raph and his elder brother separated, scanning tables and poking through cupboards and drawers. Raph was secretly both impressed and disgusted by the array of weaponry displayed almost artfully on the walls: everything from naginata and tessen to shuriken and kabutowari.

"My scanner is going berserk," Don announced, the device beeping loudly in his hands, "but it can't pinpoint where it is exactly. It's in this room, it has to be."

"Well, look who decided to show up."

All three turtle heads snapped in the direction of the sneering voice. Karai. She stood in a curtained doorway, armoured like the Shredder (though she had no helmet) and smiling at them. Her hands were clasped behind her like a school child.

"I was beginning to worry," she continued. "I honestly thought you'd be here sooner." She shrugged. "You're here now, though, so what does it matter? By the way, are you looking for this?"

She swung her right hand up and there, humming contentedly and aimed at them, was the de-aging gun.

Raph took half a second to admire how such a small firearm (it was no bigger than a 9mm pistol (don't ask Raph how he knew that)) had caused so much damage to their family, and then he shouted, "Down!"

He was almost half a second too late. She fired, and Don narrowly avoided getting hit by the purple energy blast which burst harmlessly against the wall.

 _Looks like solid objects can stop it_ , Raph thought. _Nice ta know._ He rolled to his feet, grabbed a fistful of shuriken from the display closest to him and threw one.

Karai smirked at the throwing star as it sailed past her left ear. "You will have to do better than that, Raphael," she mocked, then she screamed when the second, unnoticed shuriken slammed into her flesh, right where the left shoulder and neck armour met and were weakest. The gun dropped from her hand, clattering to the floor.

Raph stood and threw the remaining three knives at the woman, driving her back, and drew a kunai from his belt; he did not throw one of his Sai unless he absolutely had to. "Don!" he shouted.

Donatello moved, rushing forward to grab the gun and stow it in the indestructible and waterproof case which he then slid into his messenger bag.

Raph launched the heavier blade at Karai who parried with a swift draw of her katana, sending it flying away behind the curtain, and charged Donnie with a shriek of "No! You must pay for what you did to my father!"

His Sai practically leaped into his hands, and he blocked desperately, catching the sword in a cross-guard before it reached his brother. Using all his strength, he hauled her sword back and attacked.

"Guys! We've got company!" Mikey announced.

Raph spared a glance to the door and almost swore at the hordes of Foot ninja pouring in. He looked back in time to see Karai smile at him.

"How is Leonardo these days?" she simpered devilishly as their blades locked a second time.

The rage. Fierce and hot and familiar, he let it roar through his body, pulverizing the tired calm that had been consuming him these last six days. It was like greeting an old friend. He had forgotten how much his anger fueled him and how it channeled his skill so much so that in single combat, his opponent became his focal point which was a dangerous position to hold for whoever was at the receiving end of his Sai. This was also Karai, the woman Leo had preserved time and again because he had believed that somewhere in the deepest part of her twisted and corrupted soul, she was still honourable. Raph had thought it then and he thought it now: absolute crap. There was no honour left in that mocking smile and those revenge-driven eyes. His vision went red and he snarled at her. "Don't you talk about him," he growled, and then he kicked her legs out from under her.

She went down but she pulled him with her, and they rolled through the curtain.

"Raph!" he dimly heard Mikey shout but he couldn't focus on him. All he could focus on was getting out of the way of Karai's swinging katana. His nictitating membrane over his eyes slammed into place to better protect his eyes as he parried with one Sai, slammed the pommel of the other into her face, and disengaged, scrambling to his feet.

Don and Mikey were beside him in an instant, though they faced the oncoming horde. Raph kept an eye on Karai who stood and smiled at them, blood pouring from her nose and into her teeth.

"You will meet your end here, turtles," she hissed, bloody spittle flying.

"Any bright ideas?" Mikey asked nervously, swinging his nunchaku.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," answered Don, his nerves just as evident.

Raph glanced past Karai. They were in her bedroom. It was surprisingly small with only a bed, dresser and vanity; meditation candles were on the floor and still lit.

 _That explains why the lights weren't on,_ he thought absently. _She wasn't movin' because she was meditatin'._

The large window in the opposite wall was open to let in the fresh breeze.

"I got one. Stay close and follow me." Raph palmed three smoke pellets and threw them at the floor. Immediately, the room was filled with dense, purple smoke.

"Stop them!" Karai commanded through her hacking coughs. "Do not let them escape!"

Raph body-slammed her out of the way and jumped out the window, his brothers right behind him, and landed in the channel.

Thank kind Fate that Oroku Saki had built a personal channel that ran right beside the house and emptied into the river.

Thank genius Donnie that he had planned their mission for a night with no moon. The lack of nearby city light and light overhead gave them cover as they swam beneath the surface, poking their heads up to breathe every other minute. Raph led the way, though his side ached with a cramp, and they entered the sewers through the first tunnel they found.

They hauled themselves out of the water and leaned against the slimy walls of the drain pipe, breathing heavily.

"Everybody okay?" Raph asked between heaves and at last blinked the thin membrane back.

Donnie was standing, though he trembled, and Mikey just sat down and put his head between his knees.

"Mikey?" Raph crouched beside his little brother, his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm okay," he said. He looked up at him then, baby-blue meeting amber in the gloom. "Way to take the lead, Fearless Leader."

Raph blinked in surprise but before he could say anything, Don spoke: "Yeah, Raph. Good job getting us out of that. Just like Leo."

Raph stared at his brothers and saw no joke in their eyes. Maybe the adrenaline still coursing through his veins was making him delusional? He shook his head with a dismissive grunt and helped haul Mikey to his feet. "C'mon," he urged. "They'll find us if we stick around."

The three brothers were silent during the run back to the lair and it was only when the front door closed silently behind Raph, who the last one in, that the success of their mission hit them with all the force of a freight train. Mikey leaped into the air with a whoop of glee that brought Splinter at a run.

"We did it!" Mikey crowed as he victory-danced. "We're alive and we did it!"

Donnie grinned, hugging his bag to his chest, while Raph sagged against the door, a small smile on his mouth. Geez, he needed to swim more if he cramped up so easily; it still had yet to go away.

"Michelangelo, please," Sensei rebuked, though Raph could tell it was half-hearted. "Leonardo is sleeping."

Their little brother didn't seem dissuaded by this. "But, Sensei, we did it! We got the weapon! I honestly thought we were goners because Karai was there and a whole bunch of Foot ninja showed up, and we were trapped, but then Raph got us out! We jumped out the window and swam the river – it was the coolest thing ever!"

Raph was vaguely aware of Mikey turning to look at him. Since when did cramps make his vision go fuzzy? He pressed a hand to his side to ease the pain but the exact opposite happened: agony flared through his gut, and he fell to his knees.

Hands landed on his shoulders. "Raph? Raph! Donnie, he's been stabbed!"


	14. Chapter 14

It's Sunday somewhere. Yay for Sunday updates!

 **An Amber Pen** , don't worry, no poison. Promise. :)

Thanks for reading, guys! You're all still the best! I also have another story (one-shot with epilogue) up: Black Eyes. If anyone's interested.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 14

Don was moving the instant Raph slumped to the floor, though Mikey beat him to their brother and found the wound now clearly visible in the bright light of the lair. He exhaled a breath of relief when he saw the kunai was still imbedded in Raph's lower plastron; otherwise, he would have bled out before they'd reached home. It was nothing short of a miracle that the blade hadn't been dislodged during their swim or their run or his fight with Karai – when had this even happened?

"S'fine," Raph garbled. "A scratch."

"Shell, no, you're not fine, Raph!" Mikey almost screamed. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Michelangelo, be calm." Splinter came up behind them, laying a hand to Mikey's shoulder. Looking at Don, he said, "Let's get him to the infirmary."

Suddenly: "Daaaaddyyy!"

"See to your brother, Michelangelo," Sensei ordered. "There is nothing you can do here."

"But Raph…" Mikey began, and Donnie cut him off: "You'll only be in the way, Mike. Please, we have to stop the bleeding now. Go take care of Leo."

"Daaaaddyyyy!" Leo wailed again.

Don distinctly saw tears in his little brother's eyes as he turned away and ran for the stairs. He hefted Raph up, pulling one of his arms over his shoulders, while Splinter took his other side. "Come on, Raph. Let's get you fixed up, eh? And then you're going to have to explain how you failed to tell us you got stabbed."

Raph coughed a laugh. "Yeah. Sounds good."

-:- -:- -:-

Sliding open the rice paper doors to his father's room, Mikey saw Leo sitting up in his crib. By the light in the hall, he could see the toddler's face was wet with tears and his whole body trembled.

Panic already burning in his mind turned into a full-blown inferno.

"Leo?" He rushed to the crib and picked him up. "What's the matter? What's wrong?"

"Daddy," the child cried, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. "Want Daddy."

 _I feel your pain, kiddo._ "Dad's busy right now, Leo. He's… He and Don are taking care of Raph. Raphie's hurt, little buddy, so I'm all you've got right now."

Leo nodded against his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Bad dream," he whispered.

"Again?" Mikey sat down in the rocking chair (courtesy of April's friend) and pulled a blanket over them. He rubbed the kid's shell as he quietly hushed and soothed him. "It's all right, little brother. It's all right. I'm here. Mikey's here. It's all going to be okay."

Gradually, the trembling eased and then ceased altogether, and Leo yawned in his ear. But when Mikey tried to put him back in the crib, he twisted fitfully and tears dribbled down his face.

"All right, little buddy. All right. I get it," the young turtle said quietly. He set the child on the floor, fetched the blankets from the crib, and lay down next to him. "How about I sleep here? Is that okay? I'll keep the bad dreams away."

Leo snuggled against his plastron. "Blue," he whined tiredly.

"Okay." A second later, the mask was tucked in the turtle's tiny fist and the tot was asleep.

Mikey wrapped an arm around the snoozing toddler and pulled him closer to his chest, but his eyes didn't close. He lay awake, listening for the near-silent footsteps that would precede Splinter coming in to tell him that Raph was going to be just fine, and that, yes, he could go see him. Tears leaked from his eyes as he waited…and waited.

His eyes were fluttering shut when the door slid open.

A hushed voice: "Michelangelo?"

"Dad?" Mikey didn't sit up, not wanting to disturb Leo sleeping soundly beside him. "How's Raph?"

Master Splinter materialized out of the shadows, his black eyes gleaming in the darkness. "Stable and conscious," he replied. "He is asking for you."

So carefully, the turtle extricated himself from the nest on the floor and left Sensei to guard against Leo's nightmares. He ran to the infirmary and startled Don with his hasty entrance; his purple-banded brother almost dropped the roll of bandages in his hands.

"Hiya, Mike," Raph greeted him dazedly from the cot.

Mikey narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing his immediate elder brother. He was pale, ghastly so, and he trembled slightly. He was sitting up, though, so that was a good sign. His lower torso was completely wrapped in linen.

"What? No jokes today?"

A soft growl slid out of Mikey's teeth and he stalked forward. "You don't deserve any," he bit out. He rounded on Don who visibly shrank back under the younger turtle's glare. "How is he?"

"I'm fine!" Raph protested, but both Mike and Don ignored him.

Donnie cleared his throat, his eyes darting away from Mikey's face. "Nothing important was hit. He lost some blood and needed stitches and now he needs rest, but aside from that…he is okay."

"Told ya, ya worry-wart," sneered Raph, though he blinked when Michelangelo turned back to him, lightning dancing in his blue eyes.

"Worry-wart?" he echoed, deathly quiet. "You scared the hell out of us – out of _me_ , Raph! What were you doing not telling us you got hurt?"

It seemed Raphael actually did know how to pick his battles because those golden irises looked down at his blanket-covered lap, and he plucked a corner of it as he said rather meekly, "Would ya believe me if I said I didn't notice?"

Mikey crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled, "No."

"It's true," Raph continued, trying to defuse the tension. "The kunai was the one I threw at Karai. She must've picked it up and then stabbed me when we got past her. I didn't notice 'cause of the adrenaline. When we were swimmin' and then runnin' home, I thought it was just a cramp."

"A cramp? Seriously? Did you even _bother_ to check yourself over?"

His brother looked away as he said, "I was more worried about you guys."

"Fine!" Mikey hissed and uncrossed his arms to throw them in the air. "Be that way! Chalk it up to the adrenaline rush!" He paced – an on-edge tiger. "It's not like you couldn't have died! You can't keep doing this, Leo!"

 _Crash!_

Mikey and Raph both jumped at the noise of Don's tray of instruments hitting the floor, but Don didn't move for the tools; he stared at Mikey with wide and hurt brown eyes.

"What?" demanded Mikey. "Stop staring at me, Don!"

"You called him Leo." The whisper was almost inaudible despite the heavy quiet in the lab.

"What? No, I didn't!"

"You did, too," Raph put in somberly.

Mikey glanced between his brothers, his face reddening under their pitying gazes. The fury rushed out of him like air out of a balloon and he stammered. "It's…I didn't mean…No, of course, you're not Leo, Raph. I'm sorry. It just…"

"Slipped out?" Raph looked up at him with weary, amber eyes.

After everything that had happened, after everything with Leo and then the fight getting the tech and now Raph being hurt, of course it had slipped out.

Tears burned in Mikey's eyes as he bolted out the door.

"Mikey! Mikey, wait!" Raph called.

"For Fate's sake, Raph! Stay down!" Donnie practically shrieked at him.

"Mikey!"

But Mikey kept running and he didn't stop until he reached his room. He remembered just in time to not slam the door because Leo was asleep and Sensei probably was, too. He threw himself on his bed and sobbed into his pillow, clenching the fabric with furious hands.

Of course it had slipped out. Raph was just like Leo. How stupid of him to not notice until now! He fought like him, used his moves; he took the lead and knew what to do in bad situations; he was protective and self-sacrificing and an idiot, just like him. Just like Leo. And Mikey had come too close to losing another brother, except this one wouldn't have been changed into a toddler. No. This one would've died, left this world – left him – forever. Never to be seen again.

Mikey didn't hear the quiet knock on his door but he did feel the bed dip when someone sat on the edge and when a hand rested on his head.

"Mikey?"

His heart squeezed at the sound of his brother's voice – still alive, still here – and he blinked up at him blearily. Raph sat on his bed and Don stood not even a foot away, monitoring his patient.

There was something extraordinary in Raphael's golden-amber eyes, and it took Mikey a moment to place it because it was so unfamiliar in that face. But he had seen it a million times before in another face, in every other face he knew.

Love.

Another sob ripped up his throat as he turned and burrowed himself in his brother's arms, trying to be careful of his wounded right side, but Raph didn't seem to care as he wrapped his arms around him. Mikey felt his brother's heart beat beneath his ear, strong and steady, and burst into tears all over again. "He always got hurt for us," he moaned through his sobs. "He was always protecting us, even if it meant putting himself in harm's way. I can't…I can't see you do that, too, Raph. You mustn't. Not for us. I'm sorry for what I said. You're not Leo but you're just like him, and I can't, _I won't_ , lose you, too."

Raph tightened his grip and leaned forward so their heads touched. "My little brother," he murmured, "it's okay. I'm okay. Yer not gonna lose me, and ya haven't lost Leo either. It's all right."

"No, it's not." His haunted thoughts these last six days tumbled out of his mouth, and now he couldn't stop them. "It's not all right. I can't stand Leo being like this. I _hate_ seeing him like this!"

The silence that greeted the confession gave him the opportunity his traitorous tongue wanted to keep going. "He's supposed to be our leader, our eldest brother. He's supposed to kick our butts in the dojo and take us on patrol. He's supposed to burn his toast and watch dumb movies with me and yell at you for yelling at me and pull Don out of his lab to get him to go to bed. He's supposed to be the best of us, the best ninja, the best big brother, and now he's not and I hate it! I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend I'm happy." He looked up at his brothers beseechingly, silently begging them to understand. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, Mikey," Raph whispered, and then he was being not just hugged but cradled.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" asked Don as he, too, joined the hug, draping himself over his carapace.

"I didn't want you guys to worry," Mikey muttered as fresh tears ran down his face. "You were already so upset. I didn't want to add my own problems so I thought _fake 'til I make it_. I thought that if I spent time with Leo, it would go away but it just got worse and worse."

Arms constricted around him. "Always tell us," Raph said, low and firm. "Don't ever not tell us, got it?"

Mikey nodded against his brother's shoulder. "I got it."

"Good." Raph squeezed him once more, and Mikey felt him wince.

"Are you okay?" he asked, straightening to look his brother in the eye.

"I've been stabbed before so it doesn't hurt more or less than any other time" was the dismissive reply, complete with nonchalant shrug.

"I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing, bro," Mikey pointed out.

"It's not," grumbled Don. "But it could have been worse, so I suppose we should be grateful."

A soft mew alerted the three to Klunk who jumped up onto the bed and twined around in Mikey's lap. The young turtle stroked his pet's fur and yawned.

"You should sleep," Don told him, smiling a little as he released the younger turtle. "We've had a rough night."

"To say the least," agreed Mikey.

"Hey, I forgot to ask. How's Leo?"

"Leo?" Raph interrupted. "What happened with Leo?"

Mikey yawned again and said, "He had a bad dream. He wouldn't let me put him back in his crib so we built a nest on the floor."

Raph touched his cheek briefly as he said, "Mike, I know how much this situation hurts you, but you really do have a way with kids."

He smiled, his eyes bleary. "Thanks, bro. I mean, who else is gonna do it, right?"

It was because he was so tired that he didn't notice the looks his elder brothers exchanged. Then Don spoke: "Sleep, Mikey. I'll get started on the tech tomorrow. Raph, we should get you back to the infirmary."

"Shouldn't be walking 'round," mumbled Mikey as he lay down. Klunk curled up in the crook of his arm and purred.

He didn't hear his brothers leave. The only sound he did hear was Klunk's quiet and comforting purr, and then sleep consumed him.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 15

Raph awoke the next morning very confused and in a lot of pain. For a moment, he couldn't remember what had happened to him that made every inch of his lower belly pulse angrily, and he had no idea why he was lying on a bed instead of in his hammock. Then the moment ended and he remembered…everything, including falling asleep beside his little brother in said brother's room. Any other day, he would have been embarrassed and would have promptly removed himself to his own room – or maybe the infirmary since he did have a stitched-up hole in his stomach – but he was far too comfortable and, quite frankly, in far too much pain to bother moving.

He turned his head slightly to glance at Mikey beside him. His brother slept on his stomach, his face half-buried in his pillow. He guessed Don had removed his mask, gear and nunchaku at some point because they lay on the dresser on the other side of the bed. Klunk lay curled in the crook of his arm and looked as perfectly content as the turtle did to sleep without care or worry.

But Raph knew his brother did worry. _I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend I'm happy. I'm sorry._ As if their happiness were more important than their precious baby brother's. Raph was a bad liar in general but he never would have dreamed that _Mikey_ could harbour such a secret in his soul, that he could hide his true feelings for…this. Mikey! Their kid-brother who wore his heart on his sleeve and who joked, laughed and pranked everyone without mercy, whose lame commentary was pretty much standard during fights with the Foot or the Purple Dragons, and who never stopped smiling unless someone did something really stupid to tick him off. Raph had never seen his brother so angry as when he had last night. The fury he had witnessed, something more akin to his behaviour than Mikey's usual bubbliness, had cowed him. He hated seeing him so angry. He hated seeing all that pain. He hated that he had been the cause of all that pain. He hated that his brother had run from him after calling him Leo. As if it had been an insult. As if Raph would have been furious about being compared to him.

He rolled over – his side burning as he did so – and stroked his brother's cheek before settling his arm over his shoulders and closing his eyes again. If he was being honest with himself (and he usually almost never was), he would have said that he was…honoured, yeah, honoured that Mikey had called him Leo. He would never admit it but he had always admired his eldest brother for how well he led them. Sure, Raph fought tooth and nail against his orders and just him in general but now that he was thinking about it, he figured it was his way to encourage Leo, just as Leo encouraged them to train harder, to be better, to stay safer; if Leo could put up with Raphael, he could put up with anything. He had lost count of how many times Leo had taken a shot or a knife for them. He'd had numerous close calls with death all because he'd been doing his job as leader and eldest brother. And now Mikey was seeing that in him, and Raph didn't know if that was a good thing – it was an okay thing, but a good thing? He wasn't so sure because if he didn't want anything, he didn't want to replace Leonardo.

The door opening caught his attention and he cracked open an eye to see Splinter cross the floor, a grey-furred ghost in a brown kimono. "Donatello?" he queried to the shadows.

A large lump at the foot of the bed stirred, uncurled and sat up. Raph had to supress a grin because he couldn't recall the last time they had slept in the same bed together. He feigned sleep as his brother spoke: "Sensei, I'm sorry. We overslept. Training…"

"Is cancelled for today," Splinter finished smoothly. ( _Thank you,_ Raph said inwardly.) "I neglected to tell you all last night. I would never dream of forcing you through morning training after the night you had. Although," he admitted, "I was alarmed when I did not find Raphael in the infirmary this morning."

Don was silent for a long minute before saying, "Mikey was in rough shape last night. He's…not doing as well as he led us to believe, you know, with the whole Leo situation."

"I'm glad he told you his feelings," began Splinter but Don quickly added, "He called Raph 'Leo'."

Sensei froze, and even though Raph could barely see through his half-closed eyes in the dark, he could _feel_ the surprise and sadness roll off his father in waves. "I see," he murmured. "It was because Raphael was hurt."

He didn't say it as a question but Don answered "Hai" anyway.

"Perhaps we will continue this conversation when your brothers are awake," Sensei said at last. "Or at least when Michelangelo is awake since Raphael is already eavesdropping. How are you feeling, my son?" he added, addressing him.

Raph smiled sheepishly as he pulled his arm off Mikey, opened his eyes fully and said, "I've had better days, Master Splinter. Got any Ibuprofen, Donnie?"

Don rolled off the bed and landed silently. "Let's get you something to eat along with the Ibuprofen," he said quietly, "and let's let Mikey sleep."

 _But I don't wanna move,_ Raph complained but he didn't say it out loud. Instead, he nodded.

Slowly, his brother helped him stand, supporting him carefully and gently to the door which Splinter closed behind them. They made their way to the kitchen where Leo swung his legs contentedly as he munched on a pancake with mashed worms and, yep, lots of ketchup. Raphael was glad that his eldest brother had grown out of the habit of dumping his food into the red mess and swirling it around on his plate for a minute before eating each piece.

The toddler's face was a frightening smear of fake blood which did nothing to ease the memories of last night, and he grinned. "Hi, Raphie! Hi, Donnie! Hi, Daddy!" He leaned backward so far over the backrest of the high chair that he was upside down, still smiling away.

Splinter eased him upright with a gentle but firm hand. "Hello, Leonardo. Are you done?" he asked mildly.

"No" was the short yet perky reply, and chubby toddler fingers grabbed at the food again.

"Maybe I should get a drop cloth," the turtles distinctly heard their sensei mutter as he regarded the battle zone of bleeding pancake bits on the floor.

"I'll take care of it, Sensei," said Don, and he deposited Raph into a chair not too far from their brother. "How about some chicken soup, Raph? I don't want you eating anything too solid right now."

Raph rested his head on his arms. "Not even toast?" he mumbled. He wanted something to chew on.

"Not even. You need fluids anyway. Here."

He sat up as his brother set a glass of water and two extra strength tablets in front of him. He popped them into his mouth, drained the glass and went back to moping in his arms until the painkillers kicked in.

"You okay, Raphie?" Leo asked, concern in his usually chip tone.

Raph raised his head and answered for the first time honestly, "Had a run-in with Karai last night when we went ta get the tech that made ya like this." He lifted his arm and turned slightly to show his brother the bandaging. "She stabbed me."

The curious concern in the child's face fell into an uncharacteristic expression of horror, and for a fleeting second, Raph could have sworn that he looked identical to what his eldest brother would have looked like if he were sixteen and hearing the story for himself. He said nothing which in and of itself was unnerving, and his navy eyes flicked from Raph's face to the white linen and back several times.

Raph tried a smile. "I'm okay, though," he assured him. "Alive and kickin'."

Leo blinked once very slowly before saying, rather quietly, "All done, Daddy."

Splinter obediently took the child to the sink to wash his face, hands and plastron. "There you are, Leonardo. You can go play." He set him on the floor and returned to his cup of tea.

Instead of running away, Leo walked meekly to Raph and raised his arms. Raph complied with a grunt and set him on his left knee (as far from his punctured gut as possible), and his brother simply leaned his head against him, one hand curling around one of the mask tails that had fallen over his shoulder. Raphael wrapped his arms around him, perfectly content to sit with this precious soul until the world stopped spinning – or at least until Don set a bowl of chicken noodle in front of him a few minutes later.

"All right, Leo, come on," Don urged, reaching to haul the toddler out of Raph's lap.

But to everyone's surprise, even Splinter's as he sat at the table with his cup of tea, Leo said, "No."

This was a first because the kid was usually eager to do anything with his brothers, but he only wiggled closer to Raph and his grip tightened around his mask tail.

"Leo, Raph needs to eat and you're in the way." Ever logical Donnie. "Come on. We can go play."

The reply came again, sound and firm: "No."

"Don," Raph ventured, "I don't think he wants to move. Let him be. It's fine."

Splinter rose with a sigh and wrapped his hands around the small child. "Come, my son. We need to let Raphael eat."

"NO!" The scream was as loud as it was unanticipated, and Splinter jerked back a step. "Go away!" Leo buried his face in Raph's plastron, absolutely refusing to be budged.

"Guys, seriously, it's okay," Raph told them. "I can manage. Let him stay. He's not hurting me."

His family withdrew uncertainly: Sensei to his seat and Don to clean the mess on the floor beneath the high chair. They cast worried glances at the pair and each other but Raph ignored them, wrapped his left arm around Leo to keep him steady in his lap and began to eat.

-:-

Please review. My motivation needs motivation. Thank you all for reading and following! I promise to update soon. I've got the next couple chapters down but I need to space them out so I don't fall behind and thus keep you guys waiting longer. Writer's block can be rude.


	16. Chapter 16

**Snoara:** If the angst gets too much, do let me know and I'll try to pull back. The boys are rather angst-riddled at the moment; honestly, I'm just writing down what they're telling me. Thank you for your kind words. I am exceedingly proud of my "perfect mess".

 **Leeannardo11:** I'm glad you're enjoying it!

 **AlessandraDC:** I hope I'm not changing up the dynamics too quickly. There are still a good few more hiccups to come before the boys settle into their roles. ;)

 **Elyon5:** I'm sorry Chapter 5 made you cry. Or am I not sorry? A writer writes to convey and elicit emotion. Regardless, I made you upset, and for that I apologize.

 **An Amber Pen:** The ride's not over yet, honey! Make sure to keep all arms and legs in the moving vehicle at all times!

 **Readers, Reviewers and Followers in general:** Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your praise and criticism mean a lot to me! I will do my utmost best to keep the chapters coming, although things (mainly writing) have regrettably slowed down because of other things (mainly my job).

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 16

Mikey jerked awake at the scream of "NO!" and groaned. Leo hadn't really been too disagreeable so far but that kind of blatant indignation, he knew, wouldn't go over well with the rest of the family and they would probably call him, Mikey, in to deal with the tyke. _He had a way with kids, after all,_ he thought bitterly as he dragged his sore body out of bed and donned his mask. He gave Klunk an apologetic rub behind the ears when the cat meowed his displeasure at the draft; his pet muttered a kind of 'mrrt' sound and tugged his tail more tightly around his nose. Mikey left, making sure the door stayed open so Klunk could come out when he wanted.

His feet scuffed the floor – so much for being a ninja – but he was a tired ninja, an exhausted ninja. Surely that gave him an excuse to not practice stealth in his own house as he walked to the kitchen to defuse…nothing.

He stopped in the doorway, his half-closed eyes now wide at the scene before him. Splinter sat calmly at the table, sipping his morning tea, while Don wrung out a cloth at the sink (probably having just cleaned under the high chair, judging from the wet floor), and Raph sat with his back to him. Leo was nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning, Michelangelo," Sensei greeted him with a smile that hid concerned eyes.

Don and Raph both turned, the latter wincing as the movement pulled at the stitches in his side, and a pair of navy eyes peered over his red-banded brother's shoulder.

Mikey slid forward, his eyes darting from his brothers to his father and back. "I heard Leo shout," he explained. "I thought you'd need help."

Shadows darkened the three older faces but Raph answered smoothly, "We got it covered."

"There's some extra pancakes here, Mikey," said Don, fetching a plate. "Want some?"

"Sure. Thanks." He sat down and stared at his hands.

"My son, are you well?"

He glanced at Master Splinter who regarded him, his onyx eyes anxious. Opening his mouth to say his standard "I'm great!" with his normal, bright smile, he quickly closed it again and looked away. "I've had better days," he chose to say.

"Would you like to talk about it?" his loving father asked.

Mikey dared a glance at Raph and Leo who sat across from him. His elder brother had a bowl of soup in front of him and held the toddler in his lap who was obviously not going to move any time soon if his grip on Raph's mask tail was any indication. He held back his tears as he shook his head. "I don't want to," he mumbled, dropping his gaze to the table. "But I need to."

"That is very wise of you, my son," Splinter praised gently. "Perhaps after you've finished eating?"

As if on cue, Donnie put cutlery, the maple syrup and a plate of pancakes in front of him. His brother rested a kind hand on his shoulder before taking his own seat with his own breakfast.

Mikey stared at the small pile of breakfast without seeing it.

"Mikey?" The sharp and alarmed tone snapped him out of his reverie and he looked up to find Raph's eyes, and now Don's and Splinter's, on him. The expression on his brother's face matched his voice: his eyes were wide but piercing, his brow high in shock, and a muscle in his cheek jumped.

Splinter was beside him in an instant, peering up into his face with concern. "My son, speak. What is bothering you?" A soft, furry thumb wiped his cheek and the tears on it. Mikey blinked; he hadn't realized he'd been crying.

"I want my brother back." The words released the pent up sobs, anguish and heartache, and the young turtle wept openly.

Splinter enfolded him in his arms, as did Donnie. Raph couldn't move with the toddler and the stitches without help, nevertheless, he reached across the table. Mikey, trembling and sobbing, took that outstretched hand. His family didn't let him go until after the tears ran dry. By that time, breakfast had long since cooled but no one cared.

Pulling away slightly, Splinter said, "Come with me, Michelangelo."

Don and Raph reluctantly let him go as he stood and followed Sensei from the kitchen to his father's room. Mikey noted that the nest he had made on the floor last night had been returned to the crib. Master Splinter lit five meditation candles and a stick of incense, motioning for him to kneel, and Mikey obeyed.

"Your brother is not gone, my son," he began. "I know it feels like it but the truth of the matter is that Leonardo is not only alive, he is here." He gestured around them with a hand. "His spirit has not left the lair. His spirit has not left us. Meditating will help you find him. Perhaps then you will move forward."

"I don't want to move forward, Sensei," said the orange-masked turtle. "I don't want to 'get over' this or whatever. It's not a bad thing to be sad, is it?"

His question made his wise sensei pause but then the old rat smiled. "No, my son. If I recall, someone very wise once said, "I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil"."

"That was Gandalf," Mikey pointed out, too upset to bother chuckling. "He's fictional."

"And that somehow makes what he said less true?" Splinter countered gently. "Michelangelo, life is filled with meetings and partings and this, I promise you, is not a parting; it is a meeting. You are seeing what I saw years ago when you were all small. You are meeting Leonardo as he was, and are witnessing what he is becoming."

Mikey's heart clenched but he forced the words out: "I don't want to meet him all over again, Dad. I just want him back."

"And we will get him back. Donatello has the weapon – I'm sure he's working on it as we speak – but we must be patient with him, and you must be patient with yourself."

Splinter held his eyes, candlelight flickering in those black depths, but they were not cruel voids because they were filled with admiration and love. "I have known for years that you are more than what you portray. Where your brothers display their leadership, intelligence and strength, you have a very different and yet extraordinary ability: you are a natural caretaker. You take care of everyone and everything around you simply because you can and want to, and that is a rare gift in this world. From the night you and your brothers brought little Leonardo home, I watched you care for him as expertly and as kindly as you knew how. You immediately recognized how fragile and demanding he is, and have taken an uncanny responsibility to shadow him wherever he goes. I know that when he is not with me, he is with you, and you must know how much I appreciate your efforts – especially now that I also know just how hard it has been for you."

He paused, giving Mikey the opportunity to speak but he didn't know what to say. Never in his whole life had he heard such praise fall from his father's lips. He was a decent ninja, sure, but there was always something for him to work on (stealth, stealth, and stealth) and he knew that he wasn't as good as his brothers were, even Don who preferred a book to his bō. But Sensei wasn't praising him for his acquired skills; he was praising him for his natural-born, innate ability to _care_.

The words came to his mouth as easily as if they had been there the whole time: "Thank you, Sensei."

Splinter smiled at him. "No, my son, thank _you_. You have made this whole situation bearable simply because you are here and able and willing, however much you hurt. Which brings us back to my original point: meditate, Michelangelo. Search your soul for Leonardo. I guarantee you will find him." He stood, laid a gentle hand to his head, and left. The rice paper doors slid to behind him.

Mikey stared at the doors for a moment before turning back around to stare at the candles. Inhaling brought the scent of white copal to his nostrils, something he hadn't smelled in years but Michelangelo always had a decent memory. He knew Sensei liked to burn myrrh resin during their training and he had various incense for different situations, but he had only smelled white copal once or twice before. The first when he'd been really little and he couldn't really remember exactly what had happened (his memory was decent, not perfect), something had happened with Donnie. An impromptu trip to the surface had wounded him to the point of heartbreak, and Sensei had burned white copal resin. No one had spoken of the incident since. Then, not too long ago, when Shredder had returned and they had almost lost Leo and their own lives. Sensei had burned white copal then, after Leo had regained consciousness, and the worst was over but the damage to his spirit (let alone his body) had not yet healed.

 _White copal heals the heart._ Mikey smiled at the Leo-like voice reciting from the books his eldest brother had been trained on. He had quizzed them mercilessly until they knew the individual scents as well as he did. _It enhances positive energies._

"Like love," Mikey murmured with the memory.

 _Like love,_ Leo agreed. _Very good, little brother._

 _Would it enhance the energy of my fist meeting your face, Fearless Leader?_ Raph griped.

Mikey smiled wider and closed his eyes, taking deep, rhythmic breaths. _All right, Sensei,_ he thought. _I get it now. I found him._

For a brief second, he thought he heard someone sigh and whisper, _If only you could find me, bro._ But when he opened his eyes, no one was near, and he shrugged it off as day-dreaming. He was prone to do that during meditation, after all.

-:-

Reviews are welcome and appreciated.


	17. Chapter 17

**hi09:** Well, I had to leave it somewhere! :) And my lips (or my keyboard) are sealed on what's going to happen. To be honest, there have been a lot of changes going on in my story plan, so I'm going to be surprised just as you will be. Sorry about the tears.

 **Daklog73:** I'm glad you're loving the story! And Leo has a death-grip on Raph because of...reasons. Also, small children tend to get cuddly when they're scared.

 **An Amber Pen:** Forgive me for your tears, but I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.

This chapter's going to be a doozy! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 17

Five minutes after Mikey left with Splinter, Don sighed, making Raph look up. "I'm going to get started on that tech," his brother said quietly. "Shout if you need a hand with him."

"Ya wouldn't hear me anyway," Raph replied, halfway between grouchy and smiling. "Ya always get lost in that big brain of yers."

Donnie met his attempt at humour with wide eyes before smiling a little himself. "Why don't we settle you guys in the living room?" he offered. "You can't walk anywhere by yourself, at any rate."

Raph stuck out his tongue but conceded the point. His brother steadied him as he stood, Leo on his left hip and still wrapped around him like a leech.

"This is weird," he muttered, casting the kid a glance. He wasn't asleep but he hadn't moved or spoken in a while now.

"You're telling me," agreed Don. "Come on."

The going was slow and, ugh, painful. He had forgotten how much it hurt to get stabbed – he needed to get stabbed less often because it really sucked. Don settled him on the couch, propping him up with pillows and then draping a blanket over his legs. Leo snuggled across his plastron, completely unaware of the change of location.

His elder brother patted his shoulder. "Shout if you need anything. I'll keep my door open."

Raph fought back a yawn as he nodded. "Thanks, bro," he muttered, his eyelids fluttering.

As soon as he was gone, Leo stirred: a minor wiggle on his chest to get more comfortable. "Sleep, Raphie?" he asked.

His eyes were already closed. "Yeah, little buddy. I'm tired."

Something small stroked his collarbone – a hand? "Sleep, Raph," the child whispered.

It was the pain, the drugs and his exhaustion that made him say, "Sure thing, Fearless" and he could have sworn he heard his brother chuckle.

-:- -:- -:-

Striding from his room where he left Michelangelo to the kitchen where he had left his three other sons, Splinter made no noise but in his mind, his thoughts shouted at him. While it was no uncommon theme in the household to have mild chaos generated from an incident on the surface, this particular round of chaotic energy was holding fast and going nowhere, and bothering – dare he say it? – the _shell_ out of him. His sons' emotional states were in uproar, not the least of which his own. It was the reason why he had chosen Leonardo so many years ago as leader of the team; his calm demeanor helped to smooth over disruptions of any calibre. But now his eldest was a toddler, unfit to lead and incapable of providing the comfort his sons desperately needed. While Splinter knew that Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo enjoyed (to an extent) interacting with their now-diminutive brother, he also knew that Leonardo must be restored to his proper age if the family was to function properly once more. He didn't dare think about what would happen if Donatello failed. Leonardo would grow up again, and the catch was that all of his decisions leading up to the sixteen-year-old they had lost would be for naught. Splinter's guidance and his brothers' support had been fundamental to his personality; and he knew that should Leonardo grow up again naturally, he would not be the same. He was thirteen years his brothers' junior. He would be the baby of the family in every sense, helpless and inquisitive until he could be taught ninjutsu.

He also didn't dare think about who would become leader in his place. Donatello was the obvious choice because he was second eldest, but Splinter knew his son lacked the natural action-reaction reflexes that came with being leader. At the same time, Raphael was too impulsive, headstrong and hot-tempered to bother thinking a situation through properly, preferring to leap in, sai drawn; and Michelangelo… He shook his furry head. His youngest child was just as impulsive as his immediate elder brother if slightly worse. His attention span was equal to that of a sparrow, and he rejected responsibility like it was a disease (although apparently the care of Leonardo was a whole other story). He also knew his sons would argue fiercely over whatever choice he made, if it ever came to it; for they would not want to replace their brother. Still…he had to give it some serious thought if Donatello was unsuccessful with the technology.

He rubbed his forehead. Goodness and love, he needed a cup of tea!

The kitchen was empty when he arrived. His sons must have retreated to a more comfortable area. He seriously hoped that Raphael was in the infirmary and that Leonardo was content with reading a book with him for some time while Donatello tinkered.

A quiet, sleepy whine caught his attention, and he poked his head around the corner toward the living room where he spied Raphael with Leonardo curled on his chest slumbering on the couch. One, strong arm was wrapped over the smaller turtle's back to keep him in place. An indulgent smile played across his muzzle but froze when Leonardo's tiny brow scrunched and his eyes pinched tighter.

Another nightmare.

The toddler whined again and Raphael muttered, sensing his brother's distress. To his surprise, however, his red-masked son did not wake. Strange…he was usually a light sleeper but such was not the case as Leonardo squirmed fitfully atop him; he didn't even twitch an eyelid.

Splinter stepped forward to wake the child when Leonardo suddenly cried out, a wordless shriek of terror.

The sound should have had Raphael bolting off the couch but the only thing that happened was an echoing cry from his third (second? No, third!) son.

The old rat's eyes went wide with horror and amazement at what was unfolding in front of him. He had always known that Leonardo possessed a mental strength that was rare even among skilled ninja. It was why he had encouraged him to meditate so early in life; such a strength could prove dangerous if not checked. Now, it looked like that mental prowess had been unleashed: as Leonardo suffered his nightmare, so did Raphael, simply because of physical contact.

He needed to separate them. Now. But carefully. And not by himself.

"Donatello!" he shouted. He should have woken them both but they were stuck in sleep, twisting and crying out in unison.

Donatello raced out of his laboratory, his eyes wide with fright at the scene, but Splinter didn't give him much time to panic; he approached the pair and unsheathed a tanto from his sleeve, saying, "Donatello, hold Raphael down before he tears his stitches."

"What are you going to do?" he asked in a small voice even as he obeyed and pressed down on his brother's shoulders.

Splinter didn't answer, nor did he answer his son's unspoken question of just what on earth was going on. Instead, he curled a hand beneath Leonardo's head to raise it off his brother's plastron. The moment he touched the child, however, colours and sounds swirled through his mind. The dream was indistinct but Splinter knew that it was about a fight: cold rain ran down his skin as adrenaline and fear pounded through his veins; a weapon (he had no idea what it was) lay in his hand and was a silver blur as he lashed out with trained precision; and numerous shadows danced around him with weapons of their own. For a brief second, terror spiked in Splinter's soul as he recognized the scarlet capes and gleaming red eyes set beneath the broad-brimmed hats of Shredder's Elite Guard. But then he thrust himself back out of the dream, and he blinked, once more in reality, and slid the tanto between tender skin and hard shell. The resistance of the psychic link was like a rubber band stretched to the maximum, and it was all too easy to cut.

Raphael awoke with an immediate start and a groan as the movement jarred his wound, while Leonardo started to cry.

"Daddy, Daddy," he wept, holding his arms out to him.

Splinter stowed the knife and picked him up, cuddling and soothing him. "It's all right, my little kame," he whispered, stroking his head and shell. "I'm here. Hush, my son. It was just a dream."

"What happened?" he heard Raphael ask. A sheen of sweat glistened across his head and chest above his plastron. The nightmare was, as Michelangelo would say, a 'doozy'.

With the toddler still in his arms, Splinter said simply, "You had a nightmare, my son."

He caught Donatello's sharp glance but ignored it as Leonardo continued to cry. Raphael, on the other hand, accepted his word without his usual protest, seemingly aware of the remnants of the dream's intensity.

"Ah, shell." Donatello's quiet exclamation drew his attention, and he immediately saw the issue: Raphael had torn his stitches; blood seeped through the white linen wrapped around his stomach. Before Splinter could even move to help, his second child said, "Stay with Leo, Sensei. I'll deal with this. It's not so bad."

"Very well, my son," he chose to say, and he let them go. Leonardo, after all, clearly needed more than a couple minutes to calm down.

Once the couch was vacated, he sat down, still cuddling and shushing his crying child. It looked like his cup of tea would have to wait for a while as dozens more of questions flew through his already-full mind. He had a terrible suspicion but he knew he could not confirm it until more evidence presented itself. If he acted now, he knew he would do more harm than good to the little one still sobbing against his neck.

And that was something he would never do, even if his suspicion was correct.

-:-

Please review. Your comments make my heart happy. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** Clearly, there's some confusion and while I didn't intentionally mean to weird you guys out, I hope this chapter clears some of it up. Leo is not psychic (even that's too weird for me; I usually have stuff like that indicated much earlier in my stories anyway). This one's really heavy in dialogue and most of it is speculation on the part of the boys, but (and I'll give you a hint) Mikey's on the right track. That's all I'm saying. Enjoy.

Also, special thanks to my dad for supplying me with the knowledge that iodine is a permanent disinfectant and much more useful than hydrogen peroxide. Fun note: iodine also helps to promote cell regeneration so healing is faster and doesn't tend to scar as other permanent disinfectants do (like carbolic acid). It stings a heck of a lot more than peroxide does but it does a better job. This medical know-how has been brought to you by TheRedScreech. You're welcome! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 18

Don gently deposited Raph on a cot in his lab. His younger brother looked awful: he was pale, sweat adorned his head and chest, his hands trembled, and he looked about ready to either pass out or throw up – neither of which was the best option if Don wanted to stitch and wrap him up again. He snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Yo, Raphie! Stay awake, bro."

Raphael – hard-core, Sai-wielding, punch-first-ask-questions-later Raphael – flinched! "Geez, Donnie, don't do that!" he snapped.

"Well, I wouldn't if you didn't look like you were about to keel over any second," he retorted. He straightened, regarded him for a brief moment, and then went to the small freezer he had in the far back corner of his lab. Fetching an ice pack, he wrapped it in some spare linen and applied it to the back of his brother's neck. "Hold it there for a bit while I get some stuff."

Raph just grumbled gruffly, too nauseous to bother nodding.

As Don rummaged through his drawers for scissors, needle, thread, gauze, bandaging and iodine, he said, "That nightmare was a doozy, huh?" If his brother was talking then he was conscious, and Don wanted him to stay conscious.

"I guess."

He set his things out on a tray and set it on the cot before washing his hands religiously. "Tell me about it."

"Why? It was just a stupid dream."

"Because if you're talking then you're conscious, dolt." Don fixed him with his best 'doctor glare' as Mikey called it. Iron will, sass, superiority and a hint of disdain – it worked like a charm on every one of his brothers, but only if he delivered it in his lab.

Raph blinked in the face of Doctor Donatello and folded: "It wasn't really clear," he began. "It was all fuzzy which is weird 'cause I dream…vividly."

Don chose not to comment as he dried his hands and proceeded to snip off the wrappings. The bleeding wasn't bad, just a mild trickle. He gently pressed gauze into the wound to stem the flow.

"Most of it was just feelin's and sensations. It was rainin', and I was fightin'."

"Fighting?" Donnie didn't look up from his work but Raph answered.

"Yeah. I could feel the adrenaline, and I had a weapon, although I've no idea what it was."

Bleeding has stopped. Iodine into gauze pad and applied to the wound. Raph hissed. Expected.

"That really hurts, you know!"

"Stop being a wuss," Don rebuked. "It's a standard disinfectant that does a better job than peroxide."

"This _stings_ more than peroxide! Why can't I have the peroxide?" he whined. Fake whined. It was annoying. And he thought Mikey was a complainer.

Another doctor glare. "Because hydrogen peroxide is about as ineffective as alcohol. It kills a couple of things but it's washed away within seconds of application. So. If you don't want to succumb to sepsis, let me do my job."

Now it was Raph's turn to regard his brother with sharp eyes. "Geez, Donnie, what's the matter? It's only a couple of stitches that tore. I'm gonna live."

Don said nothing, prepping the needle.

"I'm gonna live, right, Don?"

"Yeah."

Raph tangibly stiffened under his hands and not because of the needle. "But…?"

That made the purple-masked turtle look up from threading the needle, his brown eyes confused. "But what?"

"C'mon, Donnie!" Raph snorted. "You never give monosyllabic answers. Am I gonna die or what?"

Don blinked once in surprise before he shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "No. Really, Raph, you're okay. I guess my thoughts are elsewhere today."

His brother relaxed and snorted again. Derisively. "Your thoughts are always elsewhere. Why don't you work on the gun or somethin'? Give your hands and brain somethin' to do?"

"I have you to fix up first," was the exasperated reply. "Besides, I'm already working on it. My scanners are running diagnostics as we speak."

"And how long will those take?"

Don shrugged. "About four days…ish."

"Ish?"

He sighed. "Okay, four days is the minimum. At most, we're looking at…maybe…two weeks."

Though Don was not psychic, he could almost hear the gears turn in his brother's red-banded head. Two weeks. Yeah. Seven days had been bad enough, but two weeks? And that was just for testing. Who knew how long it would take him, the good ol' resident genius, to figure out and reverse the technology?

Raph cleared his throat after a while and mercifully didn't comment on the possible lengthy wait. "Didn't April tell ya to call her when we got it?" he asked.

"She can't help with this part. At first glance, _I_ can't even tell what energy source it has."

"Maybe it's a couple of Double A's?"

"Oh, shut up, Raphael!" scoffed Don. "Just because you got stabbed doesn't mean that you have free rein to insult my intelligence."

"I insult yer intelligence even when I'm not stabbed," was the retort. "It's fun."

"Yeah, well, _I'm_ having fun." He pulled the stitch tighter, making Raph yelp.

"Yer sadistic."

"We all have our quirks." Stitches were set and holding. Time to mummify him. "You know, you never did finish telling me about the dream." Maybe if he hinted, Raph would understand that if he didn't throw insults, he wouldn't get the rough edge of the sadistic doctor.

"Huh? Oh. Well." Raph shrugged, taking the hint. "Like I said, it was rainin' and I was fightin', and I couldn't really see who I was fightin', but there was a ton of 'em. They were all black shadows, only sometimes it felt like I actually was fightin' no one."

"Elaborate on that," Don instructed.

"Like, all the shadows I fought, I could see those. But once or twice, I was literally fightin' someone I couldn't see. And then, after a while, all I could see was red."

"Red?"

"Yeah. The shadows I was in the middle of fightin' before I woke up were red, not black."

"Were you scared?" Don didn't know what possessed him to ask that question. This was Raphael, for crying out loud: he never admitted to anything.

"In the dream I was."

That made him freeze halfway around his brother's stomach. Their eyes met, chocolate to amber.

"It wasn't so bad at first," Raph explained, averting his gaze and removing the ice pack from his neck to his lap; he fiddled with the damp linen. "Mostly it was adrenaline but even that didn't last long – or maybe the fightin' lasted too long; it felt like I was goin' for hours – and then I started ta get tired which made me scared. There was somethin' behind me, too – not like a shadow or anythin' bad; it was important and…good, I think that's how it felt. Anyway, I knew I couldn't go back to it. I was scared the shadows would follow."

"And it was raining?"

Both Don and Raph jumped at the sound of Mikey's voice. There he was, in the doorway, looking a lot better than he had at breakfast. There was a strange soberness in his face, his blue eyes only for Raphael.

"Mikey, are you doing okay?" Don asked him.

But his baby brother ignored the question and pressed, "Raph?"

"Yeah," answered Raph. "Yeah, it was rainin'."

"And the shadows in red, did they have red eyes?"

"You had the dream, too?" Raph gasped.

"No." Mikey shook his head and slid into the lab, closing the door behind them. "But I remember it happening."

"What are you talking about, Mikey?" Donnie demanded.

"The Shredder returned, remember? Leo almost died. He faced the entire Foot Clan, Hun and Shredder's Elite Guard. Remember them? Red capes and red eyes. It was raining then, too."

"It was a memory," Don breathed, his eyes wide. "Mikey…"

"It looks like you were right as usual, Donnie," his little brother said quietly. He stopped just shy of the cot, his arms over his chest in a very un-Mikey-like manner.

"Leo's subconscious is intact."

Raph blinked rapidly. "Wait, back up. What?"

Don and Mikey quickly filled their brother in on their conversation a few days ago, and Raph's eyes went wider and wider.

"So if it was a memory," said Raph once they finished, "how did I dream it?"

His two younger brothers cast their eyes to Don and he gulped.

"Well?" Mikey pressed.

So Donnie told them. He told them how Splinter had shouted for him, how he had found their sensei and father drawing a knife and advancing toward the sleeping pair, how it didn't look like he'd done anything except slide the blade between Leo's head and Raph's plastron.

"But as soon as that happened, you both woke up," Don finished.

"So, what? Leo's psychic?" demanded Raph.

"I find that hard to believe," Don put in just as Mikey suggested, "He might just be mentally strong?"

"How d'ya figure, Mike?" Clearly, Don's immediate younger brother wanted to move away from any possibility of the supernatural, and Don had to agree.

Mikey shrugged but he shifted his weight from foot to foot as he spoke his thoughts aloud. "Well, think about it. Leo was the one Sensei started teaching meditation to first. We all started training at the same time but Sensei taught Leo to meditate when he was, what, six? None of us learned until we were closer to eight. Why would Sensei teach him first when he could have taught us all at once and be done with it? Why single Leo out? It's not like Sensei chose Leo then to be leader, so what happened?"

Don's gut twisted as his baby brother continued. "Leo's strong. He's always been stronger than us mentally. He can take pain and torture and other crap that would kill us, but not him. Plus, it would explain his big-brother-sixth-sense thing."

Now Donnie had to smile because all of them at one point or another had personal experience with Leo's infamous ability to sense nightmares, hidden pain and trouble in all its forms, and to comfort and care for the ailing brother.

"Remember when we were tots and we always slept together? That stopped when Sensei started teaching him meditation. Leo slept apart from us after that. He was still close by but…"

"He never slept in the same bed with us again," Raph finished. "Ya think his dreams could leak over to us?"

But Don shook his head. "I don't think it's as intense as that. What I witnessed with the shared dream required a conduit: an actual, physical connection. Splinter's first step was to separate you two."

"So…it'll only happen if he's touchin' us."

"Exactly."

"Still, though," Mikey mused, "I remember climbing in with him when I was younger and had nightmares. He never protested and I never had any weird dreams when I was beside him."

"Maybe meditation helped stem the link?" offered Don. "I mean, Leo hasn't meditated in a week."

"He's three," Raph grumbled.

"I _know_ , Raph. My point is that if Leo's sixteen-year-old subconscious is intact, then three-year-old Leo can't control it."

There was an intense, heavy pause while everyone digested this.

Finally: "I dunno about you guys," said Raph, "but this is just gettin' weirder and weirder. Ya sure ya can't get those tests finished sooner, Don?"

The purple-masked turtle sighed and rubbed his brow between his eyes. "If I could, I would," he replied. "But I need to know everything I can about it in order to figure out how to reverse its effects. I don't want to rush and end up hurting him."

"Do you think Splinter suspects?" Mikey asked, his blue eyes unusually piercing. "That little Leo's dreaming memories?"

Raph gaped. "Ya want to confront him on this? After everythin' that's happenin'?"

"No one said anything about confronting anybody," Don interjected quickly when Mikey stiffened. "But I do think Mikey's got a point. Splinter's been adding things up, just like we have, this last week but he's not saying anything because he doesn't have all the evidence."

"So…are we going to tell him what we think?"

"I don't know, Mikey. I don't want to say anything because he's under enough pressure as it is. We're all under enough pressure."

"But if Leo's subconscious is there then maybe we can, I don't know, contact it or something," Mikey pointed out.

Don regarded his brother sadly. "I know how much you want him back, Mike, but Leo's not unconscious or hurt. He's fine, and while he's fine, his subconscious remains that way – _subconscious_. There's no way, even if we wanted to, to contact him…it…whatever. Not even meditation can help us! We just have to remain patient. Okay?"

Mikey held his eyes for a long moment before looking to Raph. Don exhaled a held breath when their resident hot-head nodded and Mikey sighed. "All right," he muttered. "I'll be patient."

Don smiled and took his shoulder. "We never did ask: how was meditation?"

It was a small smile that his brother returned but at least it was a smile. "It was good, I think. Sensei sure knows his stuff."

"I hear that," Raph agreed. "Ya feelin' better?"

"A bit. I was thinking of ordering pizza for lunch. Are you guys game?"

"Yeah, I'm down!" Raph fist-pumped and promptly winced.

Don chuckled. "Take it easy, Raph. You're going to Mikey yourself to death with exuberance."

"Whatever, Egghead. Hey, Mike. If ya order a meat lover's, I'll pay."

"Can I get whatever I want?" That conspiratorial gleam in his blue eyes spelled bad news.

"If it has anchovies or mushrooms or jelly beans, I'll push your face into it," was the firm reply.

"I'd love to see you try."

"I might be stabbed but I still know where ya live, Michelangelo."

Mikey waved a dismissive hand. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm gonna go ask Sensei and see if he wants anything particular on his pizza."

"That's right," Raph grumbled. "Run away while you can. I can be patient, too, ya know."

Don rolled his eyes and assisted his brother to stand and hobble out the door. He would clean up later, after he'd settled Raph somewhere.

Somewhere turned out to be the living room couch again which, funnily enough, had been turned around in lieu of the epic blanket fort that was half-constructed.

"Ah, Donatello," Splinter said, poking his head out from underneath the skillful structure. "Could you hand me that pillow, please? Raphael, how are you feeling?"

"Better, Sensei," Raph replied as Donnie obeyed. "Uh…what's the occasion?"

"Leonardo wanted to build a fort so I offered my assistance. Raphael, you may sit in that chair there."

"Donnie, Donnie!" Leo came running around the corner of the fort, bouncing on his feet to grab one of his arms. "Help, Donnie! Help!"

The two brothers shared a fleeting glance before Don settled Raph in his chair and got to work helping.

"Pizza's gonna be ready in thirty minutes!" Mikey announced. "I'm leaving in fifteen to get it!"

Donatello distinctly heard Raph sigh quietly and say, "Sounds like a plan," and he spotted the small smile on his brother's normally fierce face.

It looked like cleaning his lab would have to wait a little longer than he had originally thought.


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks again for reading, everyone. Your reviews are motivation sorely needed. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 19

"What do you mean you got it?! You've had it all this time!?"

Raph flinched from his spot at the kitchen table as April shouted at Donatello. It had been three days since their successful trip to Saki's Mansion, and though the wound in his gut was healing nicely, it still hurt to move around too much. So, even though it was in his best interest to move, his dignity wouldn't allow him to hobble away from what he would under normal circumstances run from. When April and Casey had come over with their weekly run of groceries, Mikey had informed the pair that their mission had been a success, and far from celebrating, April now harangued his elder brother with all the volume and vocabulary of an experienced navy officer. Don tried to explain himself but the irate red-head wouldn't let him get in a single word edgewise.

 _And that's what ya get when ya don't keep yer friends in the loop, Donnie-boy,_ Raph thought smugly.

"AND YOU!" April rounded on him without warning. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING GETTING STABBED?!"

Aw, shell. He should have tried to run when he had the chance. The pain would have been worth it if he could have escaped the woman's warpath.

Casey chose that moment to step in. ( _That's right, Case, defend yer best friend from yer hell-bent girlfriend who is still really awesome because she is the first human we ever met and has saved our butts countless times_.) "Take it easy, Babe. They're ninja. They're gonna get hurt sometime."

April inhaled through the nose and turned slowly to face the large man. "Do not. Call me. Babe," she exhaled in a hiss. Then her green eyes – looking like acid in her rage – revolved back to him. He tried to look as complacent and innocent as he could but, dang it, he was Raphael; he _punched_ people more often than he hugged them, including his brothers.

His attempt at innocence had to have failed miserably because April took one, long look at him and then burst out laughing.

"I'm having hysterics, I'm so mad!" she shrieked as she grabbed a chair to stay standing. "I need to throw something!"

Right on cue, Mikey traipsed into the kitchen (he had fled the moment April had started to yell) and handed her a handful of Styrofoam packing pellets. "Here. I throw this when I'm mad."

Raph bit back a snort because he knew it wouldn't help the situation _at all_ , but April took the pellets and launched them as hard as she could. But it was Styrofoam, and the laws of physics did not apply to Styrofoam. No matter how hard she threw them, the pellets only went a couple of feet and then landed gently on the floor. He glanced at his brother who stood back with his arms folded over his chest and an appreciative and knowing look in his eye, and thought to him: _You are a genius._

Mikey's smile widened a fraction when he caught Raph's eye and nodded: _I know._

Close brothers like them did not need to voice their words, after all.

Even Don was staring at Mikey, his mouth hung open like a fish. _Absolute genius._

Mikey raised a brow ridge and jerked his head to April, the smile folding into a smirk: _You guys owe me._

Raph waved a hand dismissively while Don rolled his eyes, and April continued to throw Styrofoam until she ran out of ammo.

Breathing hard, she turned to Mikey, and everyone in the kitchen held their breath. "That helped, Mikey. Thanks," she said, smiling and calm at last.

"Anytime, April," Mikey replied, beaming. "I'm here to help!"

"Safe now?" The quiet question came from Leo who peered around the corner with wide, frightened eyes. Splinter stood behind him, trying to hide his amusement.

A dark blush flooded April's face as she acknowledged her behaviour. "Splinter, I'm so sorry for shouting. I didn't mean to upset Leo or anyone else." She glanced at Don who grimaced and said again, "Sorry."

Sensei pushed Leo gently into the room, saying, "While it is important to release stress and emotions, Ms. O'Neil, perhaps you might consider yelling at my sons behind closed doors? I'm already losing my hearing enough as it is."

All three older turtle heads snapped in their sensei's direction.

 _Holy shell, did Splinter just make a joke?_ Raph thought wildly. He made no comment on it, though, and neither did either of his brothers. Extra flips during training would be the only result of such commentary.

Casey chuckled and scooped Leo from the floor with such an exuberant toss ceiling-ward that the tot's head almost brushed the pipes ten feet from the floor. "Yeah, Leo, all safe now!" he crowed.

Leo shrieked in response and tried to grab Casey's arms to keep from being tossed again. "High, high!" he complained, his eyes wide.

"Again?" Casey asked as he smiled devilishly, either ignoring or ignorant of the toddler's terrified trembles.

"Casey Jones, doncha dare!" snarled Raph, leaping from his chair and promptly wincing at the movement. He grabbed the table before he fell.

"Whoa, Raph!" Mikey steadied his brother while Don snatched Leo from Casey with a deadly look.

"Casey." Everyone looked at Raph whose gold eyes glinted with lightning as he stared down one of his only friends in the world. "I don't wanna see ya throw Leo that high ever again."

Casey dragged a hand through his hair, exasperated. "Aw, c'mon, Raph! I wasn't gonna drop him!"

"That's not the point," Mikey grumbled, taking a half-step away from Raph toward Casey.

"The _point_ is that Leo doesn't like it," Raph cut in and making his little brother halt. "Sensei already had ta cure him once of his fear of heights. We don't need ya goin' around messin' up his hard work and scarin' Leo all over again. D'ya hear me?"

Far from being rebuked, Casey frowned and his blue eyes narrowed. "Oh, yeah. I hear ya… _Leo_." Everyone stiffened, even Raph, and he glared harder. "I'm outta here. Call me when Raphael re-inhabits yer body, man." With that, he stormed from the lair, and the door slamming shut echoed off the masonry.

"Casey mad," observed Leo, and he stuck his tongue out in the direction the human had gone. "Bye-bye, Casey!"

 _Yeah,_ thought Raph as he sank back into his chair. _Bye-bye, Casey._

"A couple of good friends we are, aren't we?" April muttered. "Sorry about…everything."

Splinter smiled sadly at the woman as he stepped forward, placing a furry hand on Raph's shoulder. "We all have been out of sorts in recent days," he said kindly. "You – as well as Mr. Jones – are an exceptionally good friend, and we are forever grateful for your continued kindness."

Don handed Leo to Mikey and said quietly, "Let me show you what I have, April."

With a last apologetic glance at the rat and his sons, April followed Don to his lab.

Once they were gone, Raph sighed and leaned his forehead on his hand, his elbow resting on the table. _I just keep messin' stuff up_ , he thought dismally. Casey was hard-headed, sure, but he'd never lost his temper with Raph before. He really blew it this time.

Sensei squeezed his shoulder gently before letting him go. "Here, Michelangelo. Let me take Leonardo."

"A-alright, Sensei." Mikey complied, though obviously taken aback by Splinter's willingness to keep an eye on the toddler.

Splinter left the kitchen with Leo and soon his soft voice wafted through the lair as he read the toddler his favourite Japanese fable.

There was a creak of wood as Mikey sat down across the table from him. "Hiya, Raphie," he started. "You alive in there?"

"Go away, Mike."

"He speaks! Come on out, Raph. Stop trying to hide your fat head in your hand."

Obediently, Raphael lowered his hand to the tabletop but he didn't look at his brother as he said, "Maybe yer right, Mikey."

"Whoa, what? Can you say that again? Wait, what am I right about?" Mikey regarded him, his baby-blue eyes confusedly concerned.

"That I'm just like him."

There was no need to specify because his little brother understood in an instant; his expression fell. "Aw, Raph, no. Casey crossed a line. I called you Leo because I was scared and upset, and because you were being an idiot for playing the hero. Casey called you Leo like it was… _an insult_." He growled the words, surprising Raph. Blue eyes met his golden amber ones. "But it's not an insult. You were standing up for Leo who couldn't do it himself. You gave an order Casey didn't like because he's not used to hearing orders from you, but that didn't give him the right to use Leo's name like he did."

"I think I just lost my friend," Raph confessed in a mumble, "all 'cause I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

"He'll come around, Raph," his baby brother comforted. "Just give him time. Or maybe you and I can sneak out and beat him to a pulp for using a poor word to call you bossy? I'm good with either one." He shrugged and smiled, and Raph snorted.

"Yeah, maybe we'll stick with the first one," he said. "I'm still confined ta the lair until this heals up." He gestured helplessly to his wrapped stomach.

Concern pulled the orange-covered brow together. "Speaking of which, how is it? I'm surprised you didn't fall over when you jumped out of your chair. Of course, I did help with that," he added more cheerfully.

"It's fine, little bro. I just need to be careful with it," he replied with a sigh.

"Like that's gonna happen! You're anything but careful when you're injured," Mikey pointed out with a chuckle.

Raph had to smile, albeit a small smile. "Ya say it like I don't know. Didn't I hear Don once call me the worst patient ever?"

"An honour if there ever was one," his brother deadpanned. "C'mon. Let's go play a videogame or something."

Raph stared at his brother as he stood. "We haven't played in days," he said.

"Don't I know it! Come on, Raph! Do something besides beating up your punching bag and wallowing. You need to shoot something – but, you know, metaphorically, not like really shoot something."

Raph gave his brother a half-grin. His little brother had had it rough these last nine days but right now he looked more like himself. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed the mind-numbingness that came from spending hours playing games with his little brother – the only brother who could outlast him.

"Sure, bro. Just as long as we don't race."

Mikey chuckled and gave him an arm to stand. "Don't worry, Raph. There's plenty of time to beat you in a footrace once you're back to normal."

"When have you ever beaten me?" Raph demanded, indignant.

"You want the list?" his brother retorted without missing a beat. "I've kept track, along with the list of times I've beaten you in Mario Kart."

"Okay, shell-fer-brains, that right there is a downright lie and I'm gonna prove it!" Raph growled.

Mikey slung an arm over his shoulders and said, in all seriousness, "Raphael, dear brother, one victory will not outweigh your many defeats."

Raph smirked, rising to the challenge. "Who said anythin' about one victory? We got the rest of the day, don't we?"

The smile his brother gave him was as bright as the sun. Geez, he'd missed that kid's smile – the honest, carefree one that was unhindered by worries about home and family. The one he hadn't seen in nine, long days. Several hours might not keep the smile in place for long but Raphael would do his darn best to keep it there for as long as he could, and as the two brothers headed for the living room and subsequent game console, thoughts of Casey drifted away.


	20. Chapter 20

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This chapter's short. More is coming! Writer's block has officially departed - you are not missed, you wanker!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 20

April said nothing as Don showed her the gun which was a lot smaller than she thought it would be, the size of a handgun. It was safely secured in a large, bulletproof, glass fish tank that was lined with iron while scanners hummed and whirred around it.

"So far every test has been inconclusive," the turtle said quietly. "It hasn't responded at all to any source test so there's no way to know what its energy source is. It doesn't even have a compartment for batteries!"

"Have you told the others?" she asked in a hushed tone.

Donnie shook his head. "I told them, four days minimum and two weeks maximum for testing to be completed. I have that much time to think of something."

April smiled as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Well, it never hurts to have another pair of eyes and hands, not to mention someone who actually knows what they're doing in your lab."

Don stared at the floor for a long moment before saying, "I don't know what I'm doing."

April froze, her eyes going wide. "What did you say?" she whispered.

Purple-banded brown eyes slowly lifted to her astonished green ones. "You heard me," Don muttered, looking away again. "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, let alone what I'm _going_ to do, with this tech. It's unlike anything I've ever seen before."

"What do you mean? I thought your testing isn't finished?"

"Yeah, but… April…" He gestured helplessly to the tank. "I seriously doubt this device is from Earth."

"What? But that doesn't mean anything! You've worked with and figured out alien technology before! You can still do this! You can still figure it out!"

Donatello was giving up already? What had gotten into him?

"Yesterday, I tried something a little…unorthodox," he confessed. "I knew Karai could track the gun because that's how we found it in the first place so I created a tank that could disrupt its unique energy signature."

"Okay. That's good," she encouraged.

"Yes, but look at it closely. Do you notice anything?"

Frowning a little – Don was usually more straightforward than this – April bent closer to the tank. To her trained eye, there was nothing out of the ordinary. "You've used bulletproof glass," she observed. "Other than that, it's your average tank."

"Except most aquariums don't use iron as a lining for the panes," her friend pointed out.

April straightened to stare at him. "It reacts with iron?" she demanded. Of all the elements, why that one?

"That's just it. It doesn't react to it. Iron nullifies it completely. It's the only thing I've found that disrupts its signature. Whatever this thing is, it doesn't like iron at all."

"And you're still able to run accurate tests despite it being encased?"

"As accurate as I can make it. The aquarium is large enough that the gun isn't affected by the iron; it's simply encased so the energy signature doesn't get out. Mind you, all tests so far have reported inconclusive, like I said."

"But you're not finished testing, right?"

"There are still a few left that my scanners haven't completed just yet," Don replied with resignation. "Not that it'll make a difference. I might just have to handle it personally to see what makes it tick."

"And that right there is why I'm here," April affirmed.

"Another pair of eyes and hands," Don acquiesced. "Sorry I didn't call."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said. "You guys are freaking out enough as it is without me and Casey adding our own freak outs."

"…Yeah…I guess we're all sorry for something."

April watched her friend sadly and then took his shoulder. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Donnie. You and the guys are doing a great job with everything that happened, and, I mean it, if you need a hand – babysitting, cooking meals – I'm always right here. I'm never going anywhere."

He finally met her gaze, and she saw the tears welling in his brown eyes. Geez, she always forgot how young they were. They were teenagers. They were sixteen. They were still kids. "Thanks, April. I think we might just take you up on that offer."

He was trying to be so strong and her heart went out to him. She enfolded him in her arms and rested her cheek on top of his head. "I miss him, too," she murmured.

"It's just not the same without him," he confessed to her shoulder.

She rubbed his shell. "I know. But that's why we work hard, right? We work hard and we work together. We can do this, Donatello, and I know it's cliché but you got to believe we can do it."

The teenage mutant turtle in her arms sniffed and nodded. "Okay." He pulled away, and if his mask was moist, she didn't comment. He crossed to the desk and pulled a stack of papers toward him. "This is what I have so far."

April smiled. "Now we're talkin'!" she said exuberantly. She wasn't a genius like Donatello but she was smart and the only one he knew who could keep up with him. Between the two of them, they'd figure this out in no time.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks again to all my beloved readers and followers!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 21

Mikey crouched with Leo around the corner from the bathroom and waited. With all that had happened recently, the young prankster hadn't felt even the smallest spark of desire to pull a joke as colossal as the one that was about to go down - until today, of course. Long overdue hours of planning and scheming boiled down to this final moment, and both brothers waited anxiously for the fruits of their (though mostly Mikey's) labour. The door creaked open, there was a shift of plastic-on-wood, and then the slosh of an upended bucket on an unsuspecting head.

"MIKEY!"

Ah, the sweet sound of success.

"Run now?" Leo asked him with wide eyes.

"Yes, Leo. Run now," Mikey answered, grinning.

"Runnin' won't help ya, Mikey." The rumbling threat came from Raphael who dripped onto the floor, the bucket in his hand. His amber eyes glowed as he looked down on the crouching, mischievous pair.

"Bye-bye, Mikey!" Leo took off in a full-out sprint which was impressive for the three-year-old, neatly ducking around Raph and heading for the living room.

"Wow. What a traitor." Mikey smiled up at his brother. "Now, Raphie, I know what this looks like but in all honesty…"

"In all honesty, I'm gonna give ya the mother of all beat downs," Raph interrupted.

"No, no, no! Not the face! Not my pretty face!" Mikey dodged his brother's fist and ran.

A whistling sound was his only warning as the thrown bucket collided with the backs of his legs, and he tumbled to the ground. He had just enough time to flip onto his shell before Raph was on top of him in an instant.

"Ya like getting others wet, huh?" Raph teased, his eyes glinting. "How 'bout I return the favour?" He hacked up a wad of saliva and let it dangle slowly toward Mikey's face.

Mikey immediately squirmed, protesting, "Aw, dude, no! Come on, Raph! It was just a prank! Can't you take a joke?"

"Shoulda done it when I couldn't catch ya," Raph replied, barely moving his jaw to speak. That dribble of drool was inches away from his skin.

"Raphael! Michelangelo!"

 _Saved by the rat!_ Mikey thought triumphantly as his brother scrambled off him, his drool being sucked back up into his mouth with a slurp.

Master Splinter regarded the two of them with sharp, onyx eyes while Leo poked his head around their father with a sheepish smile.

"Tattle-tale," Mikey snubbed at him.

Leo surprised them by sticking his tongue out at him.

"My sons," said Splinter, getting their attention, "perhaps it would be wise for you to go outside and get some fresh air?"

"Now, Sensei?" Raph gaped. "It's barely dusk."

Mikey's skin quivered with the thought of being outside (it had been a week and a half since their mission, and patrols had been suspended while Raph healed) as Sensei inclined his head. "I'm well aware of what time it is, Raphael. But you and Michelangelo are both restless. Besides, April has groceries for us. You may go pick them up but you will return home by no later than midnight."

Leo immediately tugged at Splinter's hand. "Go-go, Daddy? Me, too? Go-go?"

Mikey met his dad's gaze with wide and fearful eyes. They could not take Leo topside. _He_ would not take Leo topside. There was too much trouble, too much which could happen to the tiny turtle tot.

"Perhaps another time, Leonardo," Splinter said, not taking his eyes from Mikey.

It wasn't until Raph sighed beside him that Mikey was even aware that his brother had been just as worried. "Hai, Sensei," he said, and Mikey was a beat behind him.

"Behave yourselves!" Splinter called after them as they jogged from the lair.

"When don't we?" Mikey asked cheekily, pivoting around to wave.

Raph smacked him on the shoulder and then the door clanged behind them. "C'mon, shell-fer-brains. I promised ya a footrace."

"Prepare to lose, Raphie-boy!" Mikey yelled and burst into a sprint.

He didn't know why his brothers challenged him to races because he always won. Well, Leo was the only one to beat him, but he did outpace Don and Raph every time and now was no exception. He made sure to not get too far ahead, though; the Foot sometimes crept into the sewers to ambush them.

"C'mon, Raphie!" he teased as he ascended the ladder that would take him to the surface. "You've gotten slower in your old age!"

The man cover slid off and he hoisted himself out, quickly scrambling over to a dumpster to lean casually against because _theatrics_ , dude!

Raph panted up the ladder less than a minute later. "How…are ya…so…dang… _fast_?"

Mikey beamed at him, pushing off the dumpster and giving his brother a hand up. "You have your secrets, I have mine," he quipped. "Hurry up and catch your breath. April's isn't far."

"I know where we are, knucklehead," Raph groused.

A sudden noise at the mouth of their alley sent them scurrying into the deepening shadows, up the fire escape and over the roofs like the trained ninja they were.

The setting sun threw red and purple fire across the low cloud, the eastern sky turning inky. Mikey inhaled a deep gulp of wind that smelled of car exhaust and brine. The freshness filled his limbs and brain, and he pulled a triple flip as they jumped a narrow street. He didn't voice his usual exuberant shouts and calls because he was too busy keeping pace with his brother and refilling his soul with New York. Oh, man, how he had missed just running beneath the open sky with the wind blowing his mask tails behind him and his brother beside him. He suddenly wished (he always wished) that the brother could be brothers. He wanted nothing more than to follow Leo (swift, deadly and prone to melting into shadows) who would be in the lead, and Raph (strong and fierce) would be beside him and Don (quiet and calculating) would be behind him because he was slower if he had his duffel with him. Blue, red, orange and purple mask tails would fly, and he would smell the brine mixed with sweat, and then Raph would trip him, and Leo would say something about how they were ninja and should be practicing stealth as well as stamina and, and, and…

"Mikey?"

Mikey slammed to a halt when he realized he'd left his brother behind one roof over. He'd completely blown past April's apartment. He turned and jogged back, neatly landing the minor jump between April's and the neighbour's. "Sorry, Raph," he muttered, his eyes downcast.

"Don't worry about it."

The two brothers turned for the window along the side where they'd be hidden from passersby when they suddenly froze as shouting erupted.

Mikey's heart leaped into his mouth because _holy shell, the Foot got in! Or the Purple Dragons or something or someone! And April's in trouble!_ He darted forward, Raph right on his heels, and they were about to swing down and crash through the slightly open window (April always left her window open, even in winter), when they recognized the voices.

Mikey paused on the roof's edge and stared at his brother. "April and Casey are fighting?" he gasped.

"It sounds like a serious one, too," mumbled Raph. "Come on. Let's go. We'll come back tomorrow."

"But…Raph…the food. We don't have much left. Leo…"

Raph looked up at him, conflict in his gold eyes which were always eerie in the growing darkness as dusk fell to night.

Then: "It's been a week, Casey! Just pick up the damn phone and call him!"

"I ain't callin' that reptile!"

The orange-banded turtle distinctly felt his brother stiffen beside him, and his heart swelled with sympathy. Neither April nor Casey had ever called them reptiles before, not with that tone of voice anyway.

"You can't cut ties with him like this!" April began but Casey overrode her.

"Who's cuttin' ties?" he demanded. "He's the one who started it! Givin' me orders like he's some Leo-clone. He thinks he's so high-'n'-mighty now!"

"Is that seriously what you think!?" she shrieked. "That he's somehow superior to you now that Leo's a toddler? For heaven's sake, _someone_ had to step up!"

"But why'd it have ta be him? Why does Raph even _want_ ta lead? It's the biggest joke I've ever seen!"

Mikey had no idea that his legs were beginning to complain about crouching in one place for so long. His hands gripped the eaves so hard, he feared he'd draw blood. Raphael was just as quiet, his eyes unfocused as he listened.

When April spoke, her voice was deadly quiet and they had to strain to hear. "Do you even know what being the leader means for them?" she hissed. "Do you think it means being better than the others or more skilled or coming up with plans? Because if you do, then you're as stupid as I thought you were when we first met."

"Now, listen here, April –" Casey started.

"NO!" April shouted, making the turtles on the roof jump. "Being the leader means getting them home, Casey Jones! Night after night, they go out. They patrol. They help people. And they get hurt. They get stabbed and shot at, kidnapped and experimented on! Do you have any idea what that does to four sixteen-year-old boys!? Do you have any idea what that did to Leo because their lives were in his hands? He's the eldest, Casey! He has three little brothers to look out for! And you think leadership for them is a _joke_? Raph is stepping up in the only way he knows how to keep his brothers safe! AND YOU GO AROUND THROWING THEIR THREE-YEAR-OLD BROTHER TEN FEET IN THE AIR?!"

"Now don't you go pinnin' this all on me, April O'Neil!" Casey shot back. "Don's second oldest but I don't see him takin' the reins!"

A low growl slid out of Mikey's teeth. How dare Casey say that about Donnie?

April was thinking the same thing: "How dare you say that!? Donatello is in his lab day and night, working on reversing that stupid tech!"

"And what about you? You're in the lab with him, too, bein' all buddy-buddy. Tell me, April, is it really the gun you two are workin' on?"

"He did not just…!" Mikey spat, not even realizing his hand gripped his nunchaku until a hand over his made him freeze. Raph just shook his head at him. His eyes blazed with fire and temper but the lines in his face aged him thirty years.

SLAP!

CRASH!

"He. Is. _Sixteen_! He. Is. My. _Friend_! He. Is. _Family_!" April's words were punctuated with various crashes of varying loudness. "And if you think that, then you can get out! Get out, Casey Jones! We're done! And I don't want to see you anywhere near my little brothers, do you hear me!? Get out!"

The two brothers were sure that Casey tried to say something, apologize or something, but his words were drowned out by the continued crashes and shrieks. Then something heavy lumbered down the stairs and raced out the door; a motorcycle roared away.

The phone rang.

"What?" they heard their friend snap. Then again more contained: "What? Oh, no. I'm fine…No, please, don't call the police. I'm sorry to have disturbed you…Yes, everything is fine. I'm fine…Yes, thank you very much…All right. Goodnight."

They didn't hear the click of the phone, but Raph tugged his elbow. "Come on," he whispered. "We'll come back tomorrow."

But Mikey ignored him. Swinging down from the roof, he alighted on the fire escape's rail and peered in through the window. April, their wonderful friend, knelt on the living room floor. The cordless phone lay by her knee, shattered plates, glass and leftovers from a late dinner were scattered all around her, and her face was in her hands as she cried.

"Mikey!" he heard his brother urge from his spot on the roof.

However, the young, orange-masked turtle didn't hear him because a different voice, soft and wise, drifted through his mind: _You take care of everyone and everything around you simply because you can and want to, and that is a rare gift in this world._ Tears stung his eyes. Damned if he made Sensei a liar.

He tapped once to announce his presence before sliding the window up and stepping inside the apartment. She didn't hear him, and so he stepped closer, grabbing a blanket off the arm of the couch. When he drew level with her, he draped it around her shoulders and knelt beside her. She started only a fraction, her head snapping up in alarm, but when she saw it was him, she relaxed, buried her face in his shoulder and wept. Her sobs were quiet which made them all the more heart-wrenching. She didn't wail, she just wept into his shoulder and clung to him like he was her last tie to life. He held her carefully but firmly and said absolutely nothing, just rocking her gently.

Mikey didn't hear or see his brother enter but he knew when Raph came into the room. He paused for only a moment and Mikey felt his eyes on him. Then there was a creak as the closet was opened, and scritching and the tinkle of glass along the floor told him his brother was sweeping up the mess.

That brought April around some, and she sniffed and lifted her head. "Oh, Raph, no. Let me…" She made to stand but Mikey tightened his grip.

"He's got it," he said. "Let him do it."

April rubbed the heel of her hand over her cheeks, sniffing as she sat up. "How…how much did you hear?"

"Nothin' important," Mikey replied, his tone torn between humour and sadness. "That is, we heard a good deal about a ring, a dark lord, and somethin' about the end of the world…" He trailed off as her chuckle dissolved into a hiccup. "Are you okay?" he added, more serious and gentle.

She wiped her face on the blanket and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry for," the young turtle reassured her.

Mikey still had an arm around her shoulders as she looked around at the mess that was her apartment – though it looked a bit better, thanks to Raph. He watched her turn her gaze back to him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and brightest green with the tears still in them but when she spoke, her voice didn't tremble.

"Would it be all right if I stayed with you guys for a while? I…don't want to stay here."

The brothers traded glances, Raph nodded, and Mikey smiled at her. "Sure. You pack and I'll get the groceries."

The smile she gave him was tremulous. "So that's why you guys came over. I should have known." Shaking her head, she stood and walked away to her room, the blanket still around her shoulders.

"I'm gonna stab him next time I see him," Raph growled as soon as her door closed.

The younger turtle immediately tried to soothe his brother's temper: "Don't, Raph. He's your friend."

Raphael's eyes glowed under the fluorescents. "My _friend_ wouldn't accuse my brother of anythin' like that. My _friend_ wouldn't shout at his girlfriend who also happens ta be my friend. That _human_ is not my friend. And I'm gonna _stab him_."

Mikey sighed and got up off the floor. There would be no reasoning with him, he knew. Best to just get the supplies and get going.

To say the least, everyone was surprised when, two minutes shy of midnight, the three of them arrived home, arms laden with groceries and, in April's case, a backpack and an overnight bag. April didn't say much past a murmured "Hi, everyone" before scuttling off to Leo's room (which Raph and Mikey had insisted she take instead of living on the couch) and closing the door firmly.

"She's had a rough night," Mikey told Don when his elder brother tried to follow her. "Leave her be for now."

Concern winding through his brother's liquid brown eyes, he nevertheless obeyed and returned to helping Splinter and Raph put the perishables in the refrigerator.

Mikey sighed and began to unload canned goods into the cupboards, knowing full-well that his brother's heartfelt concern would turn to rage when he and Raph told him and Splinter what had happened.

-:-

Please review. :)


	22. Chapter 22

**WhoAmI659:** Thank you! You're very kind. I find no review ever boring. It could be a single word, it could be paragraphs long, I will read and appreciate them all.

 **AlessandraDC:** A bit more tweaking and then we'll settle. I'm not meaning to rearrange their roles; it's just what's happening at the moment. If you have suggestions (and you wouldn't be the only one), I'd love to hear them. :)

All right, everybody! Don's two-week-long testing period is over. It doesn't look good but he's got quite the surprise planned. Our scientist is nothing if not a dramatic show-off.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 22

His time was up. Two weeks. That was the max. Two weeks he'd had to figure out just what on (or off) Earth this gun was about, but Donatello was no closer to an answer than he had been the day they'd stolen it.

April stood beside him, eyes downcast and a muscle in her cheek ticking. It had been four days since she'd requested to stay with them. Four days since Raph and Mikey had sat him and Splinter down at the kitchen table (April and Leo already asleep) and told them of the fight between their two human friends. Don had almost snatched one of his brother's Sai to run off and stab Casey himself, but Raph had healed nicely and his reflexes were perfect again: he had grabbed Donnie by the shoulders and all but forced him back into his chair with a muttered "We'll make it right but not right now". For April's sake, Don had let it go and instead invited her into his lab the next morning to continue working. He remembered how affronted she had looked, how sad, how…lost. However, if there was one thing about her that was beyond awesome, it was her ability to rise to a challenge. Still looking like a kicked puppy, she had followed him and had stuck to his side since. If Don had been a witness to the fight, he would have kicked in the window to inform Casey Jones that their relationship was one of the mind. While both of them were naturally touchy-feely people (she was a hugger and he was cold-blooded), in the lab they didn't even brush shoulders. Their minds, however, intertwined with the most complex problems with a compatibility that was borderline frightening simply because of how they oriented themselves around each other and often finished each other's sentences while thinking aloud. That being said, despite it all – their ability, their will and their drive – they were both drawing the same blank as they gazed at the device that had caused such havoc in their little family.

April sighed, catching Don' attention. "I suppose we should tell them now, huh?"

Donnie nodded wordlessly.

"Do you want to tell them the good news, too?"

"That'd be best." His voice sounded dead. Faraway.

"Do you want me to do the honours?"

He looked at her then, chocolate-coloured eyes meeting jade. A small smile crept across his face. "You're the only one I trust to even pull the trigger."

"That's because your brothers are wusses," April retorted.

"They're only afraid they'd hurt me," was the quiet reply.

"Well, I'm not afraid!" his friend declared. "I'm not afraid because we've done the science. We've done this a hundred times. This time will be no different. Ready?"

Don picked up a curious-styled three-fingered glove and put it on his left hand. "As ready as I'll ever be."

They didn't have to go far to locate the rest of the family: in the living room, Raph sat on the couch with Leo (who held Blue) tucked against his side, reading a picture book; Mikey sat in the chair across from them, his sketch pad hidden behind a comic book, and was drawing the pair; and Splinter meditated in the corner, though no candles were lit because of Leo.

At their approach, Sensei's ears twitched and he opened his eyes. "Your report, Donatello?" he queried, making everyone look up.

Donnie swallowed and said clearly, "Hai, Sensei. I have good news and bad news."

"Bad news first!" Mikey demanded, sitting up and closing the comic book around the notepad.

 _Bad news first, then._ Taking a breath and glancing at April for an encouraging nod, he announced, "The bad news is that we have run every test we can think of with inconclusive results for each one. We don't know how the gun works, its energy source or how to reverse it – if it's even reversible. There is absolutely nothing we can do with this weapon."

Silence.

No one spoke. No one moved. Sensei looked drawn, and Don really hoped he didn't have a heart attack or stroke. Mikey's eyes were massive in his suddenly small face, his mouth a tiny O of horror. Raph just stared at him, as confused as if he had spouted their life story in Latin. Leo, too, was silent but, to his surprise, looked like he understood every word.

"How is there good news in any of that?" Raph broke the intensity with his uncharacteristically soft and uncertain question.

Donnie cleared his throat again. "Well, um, it's more of a demonstration, really. There is one thing we discovered. It reacts strangely with iron." Splinter's ears perked as he held up his gloved hand. "I designed this glove with tiny iron rods along the fingers, with small plates on the palm and back. It's not at all flexible but it does the job.

"Mikey, I need you to move to the couch," he told his brother.

"Sure thing, Donnie." Mikey slid obediently out of the chair and settled on the couch beside his brothers, his knees tucked against his plastron.

"Before we begin," Don continued, "I need your solemn word that you will not move. You cannot move. April and I have done this a hundred times. We know the outcome. I'm not in danger. Please, do not move. Promise me."

His request was met with another round of stunned silence but it didn't last as long and Splinter was the one to break it: "Our word and honour that we will not move, my son."

"Good. All right. April? Three feet in every direction. Best do four, per usual."

The woman and the turtle stepped into position, and Don had to take a deep breath. He had complete and utter faith in the science and April, but he had no idea if his family would honour their promise when they saw what they were about to do.

"Ready?" April asked.

"When you are," he replied with a shaky smile, and held his gloved hand palm-out in front of him.

"On my mark, then. Counting down." From out of the pocket of the hoodie she wore, she drew the gun and aimed at him. "Three…"

"What the shell, Donnie!?" Raph screeched, Mikey echoing him fervently.

"My son?" Even poor Sensei was alarmed.

Don's eyes narrowed, though he did not look away from the barrel. "Do. Not. Move. You promised."

"Two…"

"I DID NOT PROMISE THIS!"

"MICHELANGELO, IF YOU SET FOOT OFF THAT COUCH, YOU'LL BE IN THE BLAST RADIUS WITH NOTHING TO PROTECT YOU!"

"AND YOU DO? A _GLOVE_?"

"Michelangelo, sit down! We gave him our word! Your brother knows what he is doing!"

"One."

The discharge of the purple energy ball was a telltale _woomf_ that Don had grown used to hearing. His heart had only enough time to beat once before it hit dead-centre in his gloved palm with a BOOM that was soundless but reverberated through the air and their bones. The blast then curled harmlessly around him. Like water around a stone. The purple light dissipated rapidly, taking less than two seconds, and he blinked to clear the spots dancing in his vision.

Turning to his shell-shocked family, he said, "That is the good news."

One, two, three seconds of silence and then "DUDE!" Mikey was off the couch. His baby brother slugged him once across the face and then hugged him even as Don staggered under the ferocious blow.

"Ow!" Donnie complained.

"Yeah, I hope it hurt, you idiot!" shrieked Mikey. "You stupid, stupid jerk! Give us warning next time! We thought the worst…" He trailed off into relieved sobs, and Donnie sighed, hugging him back.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't think you'd freak out."

"I invented freaking out," he heard him mumble against his plastron.

Don chuckled and squeezed him harder before leaning back. Mikey sniffed and wiped his face.

"Aw, shell, your cheek is swelling. Sorry, bro."

"It's fine," he lied. It hurt to blink. He should probably ice it. "Raph? You want to hit my other side so I match?"

"Thinkin' 'bout it," his brother grumbled, setting Leo to the side to stand and walk to him. He put a hand on his shoulder as he said, "You gave us all mini heart attacks."

"Sorry," Donnie said again. "Where's Sensei?"

Raph turned and frowned. "I dunno. He was here a minute ago."

It occurred to Donatello that Leo was being unnaturally quiet. He hadn't moved from where Raph had placed him on the couch, his eyes large and round in his little face. Don knelt in front of him. "Yoo-hoo! Leo, are you okay, buddy? Leo?"

"What's wrong with him?" Mikey asked nervously.

Don peered expertly into his brother's eyes, trying to gauge a response, as April and his remaining brothers converged. "Crud, I think he's in shock! Mikey, grab a blanket!" Picking up the small child, he settled on the couch and cradled him. It was a small mercy that last week he had memorized several books on First Aid for small children. He wasn't hurt so it was a simple matter of keeping him warm, comfortable and quiet, reaffirming constancy (like family members and favourite toys). "You're okay, Leo," he soothed. "You got Blue, right?" Hoping to elicit a response, he trailed one of the mask tails down his arm.

To his relief, Leo blinked and squirmed, and Mikey returned with a quilt. Don tucked themselves in but Leo only squirmed more before finally letting loose a frightful cry: "Raphie!"

"All right, little buddy. All right." Donnie handed his younger brother the toddler and slid the heavy blanket around them, somewhat (but not really) hurt that Leo wanted Raph instead.

 _Wait a minute,_ he mused as he watched his younger brother sit on the floor, and hug and comfort their little brother. _Raph was the first one to pick Leo up after he got hit._ Leo had linked the aftermath of that dangerous energy blast to Raph, knowing that he would be safe if Raphael – and only Raphael – held him. It made so much sense but it also made the genius wonder if Leo remembered being de-aged. His memories from before were intact, as far as subconscious dreaming went, but actually remembering the event, even just its immediate aftermath, was worth investigating.

"Donatello." The turtles and April turned at Splinter's voice. The rat moved slowly, obviously weary, but his eyes gleamed. Under one arm he held a large book. "Is Leonardo all right?"

Don glanced at his brothers on the floor. Leo was tucked against his chest, Blue firmly in hand, perfectly content to be held as Raph repeated "It's okay, Leo. You're okay." He nodded. "We think so. He just had a nasty fright after seeing the gun again."

"I see. Donatello, your demonstration was incredible, and I think I have something that may give you answers."

"Answers?" Don echoed. "But…Sensei, there was nothing April and I could do to figure out…anything."

"Perhaps, then, you must look at the problem from another angle." Sensei held the book out to him, and Don took it hesitantly.

It was the size of an extensive encyclopedia but its title caught him by surprise: _Magic and the Mystical._

"Magic?" April had read over his shoulder. " _Magic_?"

Donnie flipped rapidly through a few of the pages and knew in an instant that the book had not been found in the sewers; meticulous and intact notes in Japanese scrawled across the margins. He would have to ask who the previous owner had been, for the penmanship was not Splinter's, but he had other pressing issues at hand: he stared at his father and spluttered. "But, but, Sensei, magic? There's no such thing."

"Do not be so quick to disregard an idea," Splinter said kindly. "After all, my son, you have seen things most people have never dreamed of. _We_ are something people have never dreamed of."

"Granted, Father, but all of that is based on _science_ and its _products_ : aliens and DNA-altering ooze."

"The Time Scepter?" Splinter asked. "The spell to arrive at the Battle Nexus? Are those not examples of magic? What is magic, my son, but science you do not yet understand?"

Don opened and closed his mouth several times then looked down at the book in his hands. A furry hand crossed into his vision and settled on the worn cover.

Splinter's voice was calm as he said, "One thing you must know about common magic is that it is very susceptible to _iron_."

"Impossible," April breathed.

Don's response was knee-jerk reaction: "Improbable."

Splinter smiled. "Exactly."

-:-

I'm sorry. I'm a fantasy nut and I tried, I really, really did, to get this story to follow a more scientific line but that obviously and miserably failed. Since there's no reason to mention the Ancient One in this fic (Leo never went to Japan), yes, Splinter received the book from the old fellow when he and the turtles visited him years ago. Some of you may recall Season 5 Episode 10: Fathers and Sons. After that incident, the Ancient One gave the book to Splinter in the hopes of educating the rat and his little kame about the more supernatural side of things. Splinter had forgotten all about the book and now brings it forward as, perhaps, their only hope to restore Leonardo to his proper age. Don't worry, I'll try not to rush the ending. We still have a bit of a way to go yet. :)

Please review.


	23. Chapter 23

With all that's been happening recently, everyone's a little touchy. Even Mikey. Especially Mikey. And one thing you never do is tick off Michelangelo because he can lecture with all the gusto that Leo can. I am so proud of our orange-masked turtle in this scene – you have no idea! Special thanks to **WhoAmI659** for giving me the idea that Mikey sets Casey straight. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 23

While Don, Splinter and April spoke in hushed voices over a book, Mikey hovered anxiously near Raph and Leo who still sat on the floor. Leo was calming down at last and he spoke a few words to relay his feelings concerning recent events: "Purple boom scary."

 _Preach it, brotha,_ he thought. His own hammering heart was only beginning to slow, but at least his hands had stopped shaking. He still couldn't believe he'd punched Donnie but then again, Don had become less and less straightforward over the last couple weeks and kind of deserved the hit. Really, fair warning would have been nice, even if it was something along the lines of "Hey, guys! I'm gonna have April shoot me. Don't worry. I'll be fine." But no. All he'd said was "Don't move." He wouldn't be surprised if he had a nightmare tonight about how badly this could have gone. Another turtle-tot in the house was not what this family needed, let alone could handle.

So while Raph smiled tightly, gave their little brother a gentle squeeze and murmured "Yeah, purple boom _was_ scary" Michelangelo wrung his fingers and promptly jumped when a cellphone rang.

"Oops! Sorry, that's me," April said, fishing the phone out of her pocket. (It occurred to Mikey that she still had the gun in hand; he wished she'd put it away, far away.) She took one look at the Caller ID and her face went taut. She ignored the call with such an impassive expression on her face that Mikey wondered if it was an old boyfriend.

Then the landline in the kitchen rang, and everyone suddenly knew who it was. Only one other person besides April had the number: Casey Jones.

Old boyfriend was about right, considering they had broken up four days ago.

Though no one had moved, April's voice lashed out like a whip. "Don't answer it."

"Wasn't plannin' on it," Raph grumbled.

They let the phone ring but conversation did not resume. After the sixth ring, it stopped, and there was an intense moment of silence while everyone wondered just who Casey would call next.

Mikey felt the blood drain from his face when Don's shell-cell went off.

 _You're in the lab with him, too, bein' all buddy-buddy. Tell me, April, is it really the gun you two are workin' on?_

He could see Casey wanting to avoid Raphael but Mikey knew that the only reason why Don's shell-cell was chirping away was because the stupid, boneheaded human believed that his brother and April were together.

Don was automatically reaching for the phone when a low growl erupted from Mikey's throat, frightening everyone in the vicinity. A ninja-fast lunge, a stealthy ninja-swipe and the phone was in his hand and against his ear.

"Listen to me, you hard-headed moron," he spat as greeting, "of all of us you could call, you had to go and pick the one you accused of _sleeping_ with _April?_ "

 _"_ _Mikey?"_ Casey was clearly surprised. _"I, uh, didn't know April told ya…"_

"We're ninja, you idiot! We were there! We heard everything! And you have no right to call her or any of us!"

 _"_ _She's my girlfriend!"_ the man protested.

"Ex," he corrected viciously, and he was absently aware of the fact that no one, not even Master Splinter, was trying to take the phone from him. He would have loved to see them try; this conversation was a long time in coming for one Casey Jones. He continued, "She broke up with you if I recall correctly. Threw an awful lot of dishes at you, too."

 _"_ _I just wanna talk ta her! I've been tryin' ta get a hold of her fer days! Her apartment and store are all closed up. I dunno where she is!"_

"She's fine. She's safe."

 _"_ _She's with you?"_

"Of course she's with us, you gutless toad!"

 _"_ _Now, doncha go callin' me names, Michelangelo…"_

"Don't you _dare_ use that tone of voice with me, Casey Jones!" Casey might have had an extra fifteen years and pure human DNA on his side but Mikey was on a roll with three weeks of pent-up frustration. "You're lucky that I'm not where you are 'cause, trust me, man, I've been itching to bust a head or two for weeks now!"

 _"_ _Uh, Mikey?"_

Mikey cut him off with a resounding, "Don't interrupt! Now, I get that you're stressed out. I get that we haven't been patrolling as often so the Purple Dragons are probably running you ragged, but you listen and you listen good: we're stressed out, too. We didn't ask for this. Our lives, our home and our family have been turned upside-down all become some Foot idiot shot my brother with a voodoo gun! You think it's _fun_ to worry about family members who get hurt and seclude themselves and who I can hear crying at night because we might never get Leo back? _Well_? _Do you_?"

 _"_ _No,"_ Casey murmured, slow and shamed.

"No," Mikey bit out. "No fun at all. So now that we've established that everyone is having a rough go-'round, allow me to explain to you a thing: Don't you _ever_ insult Raphael by using Leo's name, don't you _ever_ accuse Donatello of sleeping with April, and don't you _ever_ be so stubborn and self-absorbed that you blame us for doing what we can with this load of suck. Are we clear?"

The reply was low, cowed: _"Crystal clear."_

"Good. And one more thing: We might be April's brothers but April is also our sister. You ever see what happens to guys who mess with people's sisters? Bad things happen. Very bad things. So do yourself a favour and don't call. If she wants to talk to you, she'll talk to you. If we want to talk to you, we'll talk to you, but until then, go stick your head in the Hudson!" With that, he disconnected, handed the phone back to his alarmed, purple-banded brother, and stalked out of the room, out of the lair, and the door slammed behind him.

"Stupid, pig-headed, idiotic human!" he seethed as he stomped through the sewer.

-:-

I know Mikey stepped out of his 'all is well' persona but he really needed to get this off his chest. Maybe now he can start healing? By the way, the 'load of suck' paragraph was my favourite to write. Please review!


	24. Chapter 24

Ah, Sunday at last. I almost posted this one yesterday but then I thought of how long you guys would have to wait for the next chapter, and I didn't want to be rude(r). Thanks again for all the reviews and support. They certainly help me maintain my drive to continue and, eventually, finish.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 24

Silence.

As heavy and absolute as if sound had never existed. Raph thought his brain would explode with the lack of noise.

Then: "Mikey mad."

Raph instinctively hugged the toddler closer. "Yeah, little buddy. Mikey's not too happy right now."

Truth be told, he had never in his entire life seen his little brother give anyone such a verbal beat down. He really wished that sixteen-year-old Leo could have heard him because, dang, Casey's ears were probably still ringing. He wished he'd recorded it.

"Casey mean," Leo deduced with firmness, his lower lip jutting in a pout.

Raph didn't say anything to that so he got up off the floor, his brother in his arms, and took stock of the rest of the family. Donnie still stood shell-shocked, the phone in his open palm; April opened and closed her mouth several times but said nothing; and Sensei moved slowly to the couch to sit down, looking wearier than he had ever seen him.

"S-Sensei?" the red-masked turtle ventured.

Leo noticed their father's distress, too, because he wiggled out of Raph's arms and went to the rat with a worried "What wrong, Daddy? Why sad?"

Splinter picked up the child and settled him in his lap. "Oh, my son," he murmured. "Today has been a long day, and it is not yet over."

Leo responded by burying his head in Sensei's kimono, clearly offering what comfort a three-year-old could.

"Sensei," Raph tried again, "do ya want me ta go after Mikey?"

Splinter was silent for a long moment before saying, "No. Let him be for now. But keep an eye on him?" He glanced at Donnie on that last bit, and his brother nodded.

"Hai, Sensei. Of course." He turned away, April following, and the two of them retreated once more to the lab.

Now it was just Raph, Splinter and Leo in the living room, and the Sai-wielding ninja shifted, unsure of what to do. He wished Splinter would talk to him but his sensei said nothing as he hugged Leo.

He had to do something, and the words fell out of his mouth automatically: "Master Splinter? Would ya like a cup of tea?"

Onyx eyes lifted slowly to his amber ones. A small nod. "Thank you, Raphael. That is kind. Would you like to join me?"

A tiny smile flitted across Raph's face. "Hai, Sensei. Arigato, Sensei." He left for the kitchen and set the kettle on to boil.

-:-:-:-

Mikey stayed in the tunnels until he knew the sun was setting and then he climbed to the surface, scaled the nearest fire escape and hopped roofs to a favourite spot of his that overlooked the river and the Brooklyn Bridge. He sat down, facing west, and watched the sinking sun set the sky afire with reds, oranges and purples, the Bridge a black contrast against the colourful skyscape. He sighed and tucked his knees under his chin, his arms wrapped around his shins. His short, irate excursion through the sewers had soothed his temper and now he stared blankly at the magnificent sky, his heart a heavy weight in his chest. He hated getting angry. He hated taking that anger out on people he loved. He hated how short-lived his anger was and how it just made him hollow and sad afterward. It wasn't for the first time that he wondered how (and why) Raph could constantly be angry without exhausting himself. But every time he thought it, he chalked it up to one of the Mysteries of Life and tried to move on because he was sure that was just how his brother was: hiding his ooey-gooey, loving emotions behind a hard mask and harder words.

He sighed again and threw himself backward onto his shell, hooking his hands behind his head. The clouds above were tinged deep violet and pink, making the fluff look like cotton candy.

His stomach rumbled.

He unhooked a hand and rubbed his plastron. "You would be hungry now," he chastised his growling belly. But he didn't feel like eating. He _was_ hungry…he just knew that food wouldn't assuage the emptiness in his gut.

He pulled his shell-cell out and opened his (very short) contacts list: April, Casey, Dad, Don, Leo, Raph. Without really thinking about it, he tapped Leo's name and sat up to listen. The phone went straight to voicemail since they'd turned it off that night three weeks ago. His brother's voice, calm and strong, echoed through his soul: _"Hey! You've reached Leo. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. If it's important, keep calling. If it's an emergency, I probably know anyway and I'm already on my way."_

Beep.

Tears burned in his eyes as Mikey ended the call and called again.

 _"_ _Hey! You've reached Leo. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. If it's important, keep calling._ _If it's an emergency, I probably know anyway and I'm already on my way."_

Beep.

A couple taps and once again: _"Hey! You've reached Leo. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. If it's important, keep calling._ _If it's an emergency, I probably know anyway and I'm already on my way."_

Beep.

With tears cascading down his face, Mikey took a breath and started talking. "Hey, bro. It's Mikey. Um…I don't know what to say since you're probably never gonna hear this. I guess I can say whatever I want but… I miss you. Geez, Leo, I miss you so much! It hurts! Everything hurts, and I want it to stop! I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to be mad anymore. I yelled at Casey, bro, and I know he said some bad things before to April and Raph and he mentioned something about Don but I won't tell you what 'cause then you'll go off and try to redeem his honour or something stupid like that; but I shouldn't have yelled at him. I know he's having it rough. I know he's stressed. He and April had barely started dating, the Purple Dragons are probably out in force because we're not patrolling anymore because…well, you know. We need to look after you, Leo. It's a twenty-four-seven gig. And Dad's too tired to do it all by himself. He won't say it but I know he's thinking it. I'm trying, I really am, and I know Don and Raphie are, too, but Casey doesn't see it like that. He thinks Raph's taking over and he's upset about losing his friend because we all know what it was like for you when Sensei named you leader. You didn't have as much time for us anymore. I know Raph's talked to Casey about it. You two used to be so close, best friends, and you used to have all the time in the world for us. And I know it's not your fault. You only want to do right by us and be able to protect us but…Leo…we're lost. We're lost without you and –"

Beep.

Mikey slowly lowered the phone and for a brief moment, his thumb hovered over the call button to continue his message, to tell his brother that he loved him, that he wanted nothing more in this world than to see him sixteen years old again, to see that wise gleam in his eye, to hug him close and hear him say "It's okay, Mikey" over and over until the world and time itself ended. His thumb hovered over the call button to continue the message that his brother would never hear, and the tears kept coming…

A whisper-quiet footstep alerted him to company and he twisted around to see fifteen Foot ninja about ten feet away. The one in front had a small handgun in his hand.

Baby-blue eyes widened, the phone slipped from his suddenly-numb fingers, and then he heard that horrible _woomf_ sound that he had heard less than three hours ago. Despite the fact that he had been terrified then, the sound was all the more horrible when it came from an enemy hand and he was all alone. Purple light flashed.

-:-

Please review.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, all! Your reviews were heart-lifting, despite being riddled with denial and horror. (Sorry!) Also, I torture you because I'm evil. (Sorry, again!)

All right, guys. Take a deep breath. Here we go!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 25

When April had shot Donnie, Mikey's heart had only had the time to beat twice out of terror before the purple ball of toddlerization had hit him. But they had only been four feet apart. The ninja in front of him was ten feet away. He had six – maybe seven – heartbeats to save himself, and getting to his feet and running away was not an option. As terror spiked his heartrate, he counted the beats as the ball left the barrel.

One. He made the decision to move.

Two. His hand was halfway to his belt.

Three. His hand was in his belt and his fingers closed around the handle of a kunai.

Four. He brought it out.

Five. He lifted it in front of him, the flat side of the blade directly in the path of the speeding energy ball.

Six. Please, Fate, let this work.

The air and his bones vibrated at the soundless impact, and he closed his eyes as the light exploded around him.

-:-:-:-

Casey had lost the pack of Foot ninja a block ago and now stood on a dingy apartment's roof, trying to see through the gloom that was not breached by the streetlamps below. The sun had slipped minutes ago behind the horizon so the sky was faintly lit but barely offered any decent light to see by.

He growled, a low sound in his throat that was more directed at himself than the ninja. He had come out here looking for a fight, looking to find some poor sucker to bash into the pavement, looking to ignore the anger he had heard in, let's face it, his baby brother's voice. Yeah, Mikey was as much his brother as he was April's. He'd never said it. He classified himself aloud as their friend but he knew his feelings, however much they didn't make sense sometimes (especially now). Those teenaged turtles and that old rat were as much a part of his family as he'd hoped April would someday be.

And he had blown it. Him and his big mouth. His big, jealous and fearful mouth. Yeah, he could admit it to himself. He was jealous of how much time April spent with Donnie. He was jealous of how they worked so well together, neither of them stopping to ask if this was okay, if this was the right piece, if this was going to explode. They simply knew because they were that smart. He was jealous that he couldn't be smart for her.

He was fearful for them all but mostly for Raph who had gotten hurt because he'd taken the lead. He was afraid that he would lose his best friend the way Raph had lost his big brother to the leader's role, to suddenly have no time for friends or brothers who just wanted to spend time with him, to be consumed by the never-ending need to protect – at all costs – their strange, little family. Because Leo had done that. Leo had protected his brother, their Raphael, and look at what had happened. Now everyone was scared and sad and angry. Even Mikey. And that hurt. Knowing that Mikey was hurting was a knife to Casey's chest.

He couldn't fault the kid for yelling at him when all he'd done was lay blame, taking his frustrations out on the very people who didn't need any more frustration. He was grateful, though, that Mikey had acknowledged (without Casey even telling) that he was under some pressure. He was right: the Dragons had been running him ragged. The four turtle ninja he had become accustomed to helping him out were now out of commission and the ruthless gang knew something must have happened. Casey had taken advantage of the turtles, of his friends, relied on them when he'd had no right, and then blamed them when things had gone south.

Yeah. He was a hard-headed moron, and he would spend the rest of his life making it up to April and the guys. If they ever spoke to him again.

His bag of various sports equipment resettled against his back as he rolled his shoulders, and then he stiffened when a blast of purple lit the far side of the roof of the apartment building next to his. In the sudden light, he saw his quarry but he also spotted a tiny figure sitting on the western edge, ten feet from the pack of black shadows. He would recognize that smudge of green and orange anywhere.

"Mikey!" he shouted as he leaped into a run.

April had told him about the de-aging weapon. How the energy was a glowing purple. How it made no sound when it made contact but you could feel the soundless vibrations in your bones, like a waterfall with the sound turned off.

How iron was maybe the only thing that could stop it from affecting organic organisms.

Casey was still running when that freakish, purple ball of light slammed into Mikey's outstretched hand – was he holding something? – and then curled around him like water meeting a rock.

The Foot ninja didn't hear him which was shameful because he was no ninja and he was not quiet by nature.

"Goongala!" he shouted as he swung a baseball bat into one ninja's head, downing him in less than a second. He struck two more before the Foot realized they were under attack from an unexpected direction, but their retaliation was swift.

Katana were swept out of sheaths and the four nearest him pounced on him. He kept them back with unskilled yet effective arcs, his bat in one hand and a golf club in another.

"Yer gonna pay for what ya did ta my little brother!" he yelled, his club catching one ninja in the arm and making him drop his sword.

Rattling chains made everyone look around and a heavy _thunk_ told them that the gun-wielding ninja was down for the count. Up and over the heads of the eleven remaining Foot came Mikey, still armed, still dangerous and still a teenager. His twirling nunchaku found one, two, three different heads as he voiced his infamous battle cry of "Cowabunga!" and then landed beside Casey.

"Impossible!" one of their opponents cried. "You should be a child! The weapon failed!"

"Sucks to be you now, doesn't it?" Mikey said with a cocky grin. "Casey, man, you rock!" he added, his cockiness falling to sincerity and apology.

"Tell me how awesome I am after we take care of this here rabble," the man retorted happily. He had forgotten how short-lived Mikey's temper was, and how easy it was for the young turtle to forgive and forget. A quick look into those baby-blue eyes reassured him that he was, indeed, forgiven for being an idiot.

"Casey, darling, it's a date!" With a grin plastered on his face, the orange-masked ninja leaped straight into the fray.

"Yer far too weird fer my peace of mind, Mike!" Casey chortled as he followed the little punk into battle.

Mikey answered with a laugh that was pure joy, something Casey had missed sorely these last few weeks.

It was not even two minutes later that the turtle and the human jogged off the roof and entered the sewers through the first manhole, fourteen foes scattered and unconscious across a rooftop; one had gotten away with the gun.

Once the man cover had slid into place and they'd slid down the ladder, Casey spoke. "Mikey, man, I'm really…"

"Don't mention it, Case."

"But…I wanna. I need ta. Mikey, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Fer everythin'. I didn't mean ta add more hurt. I didn't mean ta blame ya."

Baby-blue eyes were surprisingly clear to see in the gloom as they looked at him. "You got angry. It's okay."

Casey hung his head as they trudged through the muck. "Is it really?"

A three-fingered hand touched his arm. "Of course, it is." It was all he said and, suddenly, the big man's heavy heart lifted and was lightened. "And…I'm sorry, too, for what I said."

"You were right, though," murmured Casey. "I was a moron, and ya called me on it. Yer fifteen years younger than me and ya took me ta task!"

Mikey chuckled. "Would it be bad of me to say that I enjoyed it?"

"Heck, man, _I_ enjoyed it, lookin' back on it! Ya've quite a way with words, little man. Ya laid down _the law_." He smiled then said kindly, "Just like Leo."

The answering silence filled his heart with dread but then came the quiet, "You really think so?"

Casey slung an arm around the turtle's shoulders. "Dude, I know so."

Mikey looked down at the ground for a long moment before finally lifting his head. His smile was luminous in the dark tunnels. "Thanks, Casey."

Casey gave his little brother a one-armed hug. "Anytime, buddy."

Casey dutifully saw him to the concealed door of the lair but when invited inside, he declined. "I think I'll stay away fer a bit," he mumbled. "I mean, ya yelled at me only four hours ago."

"Yeah," Mikey said slowly. "I guess. I mean, Raph did say he'd stab you next time he saw you. Best to give him some time to cool down."

"So I'll see ya guys at Christmas, then?" he joked.

Mikey laughed and hugged him. Casey was a little surprised by the gesture, especially after all he'd said and done, but he returned the hug nonetheless. "Before then," promised Mikey. "Way, way before then."

"Take care of yerself," he said, squeezing the turtle one last time before stepping back.

Before he could turn away, Mikey said, "Oh, Casey?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

Casey smiled at him, this teenage, mutant, ninja turtle who, along with his brothers, had turned his world on his head. He wouldn't have had it any other way. "I said it before, Mikey. Anytime."

-:-

Please review.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: Whew! I'm glad that went well! To **2ndGenGeek** : You win best review for Chapter 25. I'm sorry about your waffle. :)

All right, guys, time to slow down and enjoy a bit more fluff and a teensy, weensy bit of angst. (Very itty-bitty... Maybe. Honestly, I can't tell.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 26

Mikey watched Casey disappear into the tunnels before letting himself into the lair. Home. He was home. Above his head were the bedrooms, there was the living room, over there was the kitchen, and in the middle of the floor was the pool they had fenced off with an excessive amount of baby gates. He could hear Donnie and April in the kitchen; Raph was on the couch in the living room, watching some sports recaps; and Splinter he knew, from the smell of burning myrrh incense, was in the dojo meditating. Leo was doubtlessly in bed.

He was home.

He didn't think he'd see it again.

The stress from the last few hours no longer existed as a grin broke across his face and he ran up behind the couch, grabbing his red-banded brother's head in a hug. "Hiya, Raphie!" he crowed.

"Mikey! What the shell?" Raph exclaimed, preparing to bat his brother away, but Mikey was already gone, racing away to the kitchen to tackle Donnie. It was because they were ninja that they avoided bashing their heads against the table as they fell, and April shrieked in surprise.

"I'm home, I'm home!" Mikey exclaimed. "Donnie!"

"I can see that you're home, Mikey!" said Don, clearly confused. Concern suddenly fell into his brown eyes. "Mikey, what happened?" He pushed him back gently and Mikey sat on his heels, perplexed.

"What do you mean?" But his brother was already reaching for his face and something tacky and red appeared on his fingers. "Oh." He lifted his own hand to his cheek and found a shallow cut. Nothing serious.

"Yeah, 'oh'. April, get the First Aid kit."

As April left for the lab, Raph walked in. "Please tell me the other guy looks worse," he grumbled.

Mikey grinned at his older brother. "Oh, yeah. They're unconscious on a roof somewhere near Brooklyn."

Don's eyes bugged. "Wait… _they_? Michelangelo, you had better start talking."

Splinter appeared out of nowhere, pressing gentle fingers against Mikey's bloody cheek before kneeling beside him and taking his shoulder. "I sensed your intense relief, my son. What happened?"

Fishing the kunai out of his belt, Mikey held it out to Donnie. "You were right about the iron," he said as his brother took it and turned it over in his hands, examining it. "The Foot have another gun."

Don's head snapped up. Sensei's grip tightened excruciatingly.

"They have what?!" Raph gasped. "Another? Are ya sure!?"

"Pretty sure," Mikey said, his smile trembling. "That purple blast is scary as shell when it's coming right at you."

"And you deflected it?" There was nothing but naked astonishment and relief in Donnie's face. He looked down at the kunai – the iron-made blade – in his hands with newfound reverence.

Mikey held his palm out for his knife and his brother complied. "I didn't think it'd work. But it did. Because only a few hours ago, I saw you prove it."

"Don, you saved him!" April had returned with the kit, her cheeks pale and her eyes wide and teary.

Donnie looked at Mikey, intelligent brown meeting innocent blue. "You saved yourself," he whispered. "How?"

So Mikey told them. He told them how he'd gone to a spot of his, how the fifteen Foot ninja had snuck up on him, and how he'd used his kunai to save himself (he left out the fact that he had used his own terrified heartbeats to gauge how much time he had left). He told them of Casey's arrival and the subsequent fight with the Foot.

"Casey? Casey was there?" April demanded, shocked.

Mikey nodded. "He must have been following the Foot or something because there's no way that was coincidental."

"But Casey never goes after Foot ninja by himself! Not that many!" she protested.

Mikey looked at no one as he said very quietly, "I think he was looking for a fight."

"Well, he certainly found one. Did he come in with you?" Her eyes flicked to the doorway, as if expecting him to be there. It looked like Mikey wasn't the only one to forgive quickly.

Mikey was sorry to disappoint her. "No. He saw me to the door and then left. He said something about how I'm the quickest one to forgive but that's not the case with everybody." He glanced surreptitiously at Raph, but his brother caught the look and his face darkened with shame and anger.

Splinter released his shoulder and put a hand on his head. "I am glad you are safe, Michelangelo. Are you hungry? There's some chicken and rice in the refrigerator. Donatello?"

"On it, Sensei! You park yourself in a chair, Mikey."

While his food warmed in the microwave, Mikey sat at the table and let April dab his cheek clean. Her eyes were still overly bright and large in her pale face, he noticed, and he reached up and pulled her hand away from his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She stared at him. "You almost suffered the same fate as Leo and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"Uh, yeah? I'm all right, April. Really. I'm just glad Casey was there to back me up, otherwise I might not have made it home." He paused then added, "But I _am_ home. I'm so happy I'm home."

At that, April let out a sob and wrapped him in a hug. Mikey had no idea what she said but it sounded something along the lines of "Don't ever do that again. Don't ever go out alone again", and of course, he couldn't promise that because he was sixteen and ninja. He did know how to take care of himself.

But April's sincere relief chewed on his heart, and so he patted her back and said, "It's okay. I'm home. It's okay."

-:-:-:-

Donatello kept his mask of feigned interest firmly in place, for behind his eyes and in his soul, writhed a horror unlike any he had ever known. As Mikey ate, he chirped away, chatting with April and Sensei, as bright and beaming as if the last three weeks had never happened. Behind him, leaning in the doorway, was Raph, and Don knew their expressions matched while they listened to Mikey add details (mostly of how he kicked shell) to his near-miss with death.

Because he did almost die.

Mikey didn't say it with those exact words but Don wasn't an idiot – no one in that kitchen was an idiot. If his baby brother had been hit with the de-aging weapon, he would have found himself facing fifteen armed Foot ninja. Even with Casey's help, his brother would have been helpless as a three-year-old. His brother would have been killed, if not captured and taken to Karai and then killed…

His mask slipped as he thought about dead Mikey scattered in pieces across an unremarkable rooftop somewhere near Brooklyn, his last moments filled with nothing but loneliness, confusion and fear.

The last thing they would have heard him say was his angry words to Casey. Not his laugh. Not one of his jokes. Not his soul-deep, caring love for all things. Just anger and hurt.

They would never know what had happened to him because he would have simply vanished. Unless Karai took the pieces and rubbed them in their faces.

"Uh, Donnie?"

He snapped to attention at his little brother's voice. The whole family stared at him, even Raph who watched him with cold, amber eyes.

Donnie faked a smile and said, "Sorry, Mikey. I zoned out. What'd you say?"

"I asked if you could design some iron shielding for, you know, just in case they have more than one more gun. Reaching for a kunai isn't a very timely way to defend ourselves."

The smile that crossed his face was more genuine as he looked into his baby brother's eyes. "I'll think of something," he promised.

Mikey nodded and yawned. "I think I'll go to bed," he announced, his plate devoid of even the last grain of rice.

Sensei nodded. "Do not stay up reading your comic books, my son," he said. "We have training tomorrow."

"Hai, Sensei," all three turtles answered.

Every pair of eyes in the room watched Mikey leave. Every set of ears craned to hear his ninja-quiet steps on the stairs and then, with a sigh from every mouth, his bedroom door closed.

"Is he okay?" April asked in the next instant, worry pulling at her lips and brow. "Is he going to be okay?"

"If Michelangelo is anything, he is resilient," said Splinter.

Don was soothed by his father's very presence if not his words. Mikey did have a knack for rebounding after injury and incident but that didn't stop the nightmares. He would check on his little brother later, just to make sure all was well.

"I'm gonna turn in, too, Master Splinter," Raph mumbled, his eyes on the floor. 'G'night."

"Good night, my son."

"Goodnight, Raph."

When he was the only turtle left in the room, Don sighed and rubbed his face. "I should probably take a look at iron items we have around the lair, see if I can make them into shields or something."

"Donatello, my son, as good of you as that is to do, I do not think you would get far in your project when you can barely stand," Sensei observed kindly.

"Coffee," Donnie muttered.

Master Splinter's black eyes flashed only once as he said, "You know better than that, my son. Bed." He left, probably heading off, himself.

April smiled at the purple-masked turtle and stood to take his shoulder. "Come on, Donnie. You should go to bed. We've all had a rough day."

"Some of us more so than others," said Donnie, thinking of Michelangelo.

April patted his shoulder and gave him a gentle nudge toward the door. "Go," she urged. "I'm turning in, myself."

There was something in her voice that caught Don's attention, tired though he was. He stared at her for a moment before sighing. "You're going home tomorrow, aren't you?"

Embarrassment mixed with defiance as she nodded but her tone was still kind as she said, "I can't stay much longer. I've a business to run, after all. It was…good of you to have me."

"Ah, April, we love having you stay with us."

She smiled and rested her cheek on his head before pressing a rare kiss to his brow. "Just as I love being here. It makes me sad that I have a whole other life outside of this." She waved her hand around to encompass the lair. "Oh, well. Goodnight, little brother." She hugged him around the shoulders and trotted off.

Donatello half-turned towards the lab when he remembered that he'd wanted to check on Mikey. And Mikey was upstairs. And so was his bed…Might as well.

One thing he had always envied his youngest brother was that Mikey could fall asleep anywhere, anytime and within minutes of lying down; and pushing open his brother's bedroom door, Don saw that now was no exception: with mask, gear and weapons discarded on the floor by the bed, Mikey snored lightly under his blankets with Klunk nestled on the pillow by his face.

 _Okay, Don, you've checked on him. Time to retreat to your own bed before you wake him up,_ he thought.

He found, however, that he couldn't turn away. His brown eyes, almost black in the darkness, roved over his sleeping brother's face. He looked so peaceful.

 _I'm home, I'm home!_ his little brother had cried when he'd tackled him.

Tears pricked Don's eyes. Mikey had thought he'd never come home. His heart ached with the thought and he found himself moving forward, as quiet as a shadow, across the floor. Still, Mikey slept on, oblivious to his brother's nearness. Donnie reached out and gently tugged the blanket higher around his little brother's shoulders.

"If you're gonna stay, close the door," Mikey mumbled.

Donnie froze when one, baby-blue eye peeked up at him. "I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered.

"Barely dozed off." He wiggled over and Don had to smile at the room allotted before closing the door and climbing in.

"I'm glad you're home safe, Mike," he told him.

"Mm hm. Me, too." Mikey yawned and rolled over, taking Klunk with him and ignoring the cat's protesting mew.

Donnie wrapped an arm over his little brother's shoulder and was still smiling when he fell asleep.

-:-

Please review.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note:** I had completely forgotten about the lair's pool (which is why the baby gates weren't mentioned until the previous chapter) and so I figured to incorporate it. Even mutant turtle tots enjoy a swim!

Also, I know it's not Sunday but I need an emotional pick-me-up. Being sick sucks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 27

After training and breakfast, April bade the turtles and rat goodbye and left. Raph was sorry to see her go (Leo was in tears), but he knew she had her store to run and probably a couple things to patch up with Casey. For himself, Raphael had sat on his bed until well after midnight, shell-cell in hand and sorely tempted to call his best friend, but his bitterness and the late hour had gotten the best of him and so he'd fallen asleep with the phone still open to Casey's contact.

His temper had not eased the following morning, though he had been careful to rein it in during training, and now, an hour after lunch and wandering aimlessly around the lair, Raph, out of pure desperation for something to do, unlocked one of the baby gates surrounding the pool in the middle of the floor (made absolute sure it was locked again) and slid into the water. He floated on his shell for a bit before twisting and diving with barely a splash. He returned to the surface two minutes later for breath and found Leo watching him through the gates.

"Hey, Leo," he greeted, swimming to the edge and resting his forearms on the wall.

Leo smiled at him. "Hi, Raphie. What doing?"

"Swimmin'."

"Me, too?"

Raph cast a quick look around: no one, not even Splinter, was near. Oh, well. He could watch the kid well enough. "Sure, little buddy. Hang on a sec."

"Okay!"

Raph hauled himself out, unlocked one of the gates, led Leo to the edge and sat him down to dip his toes in the water.

"Cold!" the little turtle complained.

"Ya get used to it," Raphael replied. "Stay there a second, okay?"

"Okay, Raphie!"

Sliding into the water, Raph held his arms out. "C'mere, Leo."

Leo's eyes snapped up to his, genuine fear dancing in those navy irises. He shook his head vehemently.

"It's okay, Leo. I'll catch ya. Doncha worry. Come on."

Leo regarded him for a long moment and Raph could have sworn he saw conflict in his eyes. Leo had loved to swim. While Mikey was the fastest of them on land, Leo had been the fastest in the water. It was a pity three-year-old Leo hadn't experienced anything deeper than the bathtub but Raphael was more than happy to remedy the situation.

"Come on, Leo. I'll catch ya, I promise."

At his words, Leo smiled. "Okay, Raphie." He set Blue aside, gathered his legs under his little body and then launched himself at Raph with a squeal of delight.

True to his word, Raph caught him and held him under the arms to let him half-dangle in the water.

"Again, again!" Leo exclaimed happily.

"Sorry, little buddy. Yer all wet now, and we wouldn't want you to slip. Can you float?"

"Boat?"

"Yeah, Leo, like a boat. Can ya float like a boat?" Raph snickered at how silly he sounded but, geez, the kid was smiling at him like Mikey used to when they were all younger. Leo looked at him like the red-banded turtle was the sun, and Raph's heart swelled with emotions he wasn't even bothered to name.

Settling Leo on his shell, Raph held him steady for a moment before removing his hands. Leo bobbed like a buoy for only a second and then he started sinking. But Raph was there to catch him before he could even shriek, and they began again. On the fourth try, Leo floated all by himself for longer than ten seconds.

"I did it, I did it!" he announced, clapping when Raph snatched him up in a congratulatory hug.

Raph flinched away from the water splatters produced from the clapping hands, and got an evil idea. Still holding his brother securely, he bobbed high before sinking up to Leo's chest. Leo shrieked merrily in response, and Raph repeated the trick, sinking deeper each time. Then, Raph dipped below the surface but made sure to keep Leo's head above the water.

Something heavy almost landed on him and grabbed at Leo.

Wildly thinking that an alligator had gotten into the pool, Raph yanked Leo back and kicked out savagely while at the same time bursting through the surface with a splash.

"Raph! Raph?"

"Mikey?" Relief coursed through him – no alligator, thank goodness! "What were ya doin'? Ya almost landed on me!"

His little brother was in the pool with him, wide-eyed and shaking. "I…I saw Leo in the pool by himself…" His entire face was pale green; his hands trembled.

Horror dawned on Raphael's face. Setting Leo in one arm, he laid a hand to Mikey's shoulder. "I had him," he murmured. "I had him the whole time."

"I figured," Mikey said, looking down. "I heard you. It's just…I panicked when I didn't see you. It was just Leo."

"He's fine," Raph soothed. "See? We were havin' fun, weren't we, Leo?"

Leo nodded wordlessly, spooked by Mikey's appearance and the heavy tension.

"Sorry. I'll, uh, I'll let you guys have fun." Mikey made to swim away but Raph caught him by the bright orange mask tails.

"Where d'ya think yer goin'?" he demanded. "We're not gonna give ya the boot just 'cause ya almost crushed us. Let's see if Leo can swim."

The answering smile Mikey gave him was the mirror-image of Leo's: sunny and brilliant.

It didn't take the two older turtles long to discover that swimming was an innate ability, and Leo was soon paddling around them all on his own.

"Can you put your head under the water, Leo?" asked Mikey. "Take a deep breath and –" He ducked under, swam to where Leo lightly treaded (Raph right beside him) and burst through with a laugh.

"Me, too! Me, too!" Leo cried.

"Deep breath, Leo," Raph instructed. "Ya gotta hold yer breath. Ready?"

Leo inhaled and Raph watched the toddler submerge. It only lasted a second but their three-year-old did it.

"I did it! I did it!"

"Good job, buddy!" Raph and Mikey said at the same time.

The two brothers looked at each and grinned. "This is one of the weirdest things I've done," Mikey observed, still smiling.

"Really?" Raph quipped. "Gettin' abducted by dinosaur-aliens doesn't count?"

"I said _one_ of the weirdest, Raph, not _the_ weirdest!"

Raph turned his gold eyes on little Leo who was happily swimming in circles, ducking beneath the surface every so often. "I dunno, Mike. It doesn't seem all that weird ta me."

Mikey stiffened, his eyes wide. "We…we need Leo back, Raph," he said slowly.

Raphael chose his next words with care: "I know. It's just… It's different now that he's a kid and…I'm not sure if it's a bad different."

His little brother's blue eyes widened even more. "You're enjoying this."

Shame ripped through Raph's gut but it didn't last long because Mikey suddenly grinned, a diabolical conspirator who had stumbled upon a guarded secret. "Now, Mikey…" Raph began warningly.

"You are! You are! You're – Ahhh!"

Raph lunged at him and tackled him. He heard Leo laugh at the waves as he pinned one of his brother's arms behind his shell. "I can still beat ya even in the water, Mike. Yield."

"Never!" Mikey cried dramatically. "Help me, Leo!"

"Coming!" Leo paddled over amiably, taking his sweet time, and latched onto Raph's arm. "Let go now. Let go, Raphie!" He didn't even tug to make him let go, he just touched his arm.

Raph smiled down at the tot. "All right, Leo. If ya say so." He obediently released Mikey who smiled knowingly at them.

Then Donatello rounded the corner. "What are you guys doing? I can hear you shouting all the way from…" He trailed off, his eyes going round at the three turtles in the pool.

"Hiya, Don!" Mikey greeted, flicking a soaked mask tail over his shoulder. "Care to join us?"

"Donnie, Donnie! Watch, watch!" Leo dunked under and resurfaced with an enthusiastic splash.

"Wow, Leo. That's impressive. Good job." Don smiled but Raph caught the lack of a gleam in his elder brother's eyes.

"Come on, Donnie," he invited. "Take a break. You've been in yer lab all day."

Donnie shook his head. "I can't. I have that book Sensei gave me to read. Maybe another time."

The two older turtles shrugged, too used to Don not participating, but Leo was far from satisfied. "Play, Donnie!" he commanded, swimming to the edge and hanging onto the wall. He peered at him through the open gate, his green skin flushed with happy activity. "Play!" he said again.

Raphael watched the scene with a hidden smile, knowing, just as Mikey did, that one word from toddler-Leo was all it took for wills to crumble. Plus, it was a direct order from their leader, albeit inactive. Don had no choice.

The small smile on his purple-banded brother's face finally reached his eyes. Setting his bō aside, he slid into the water. "There," he pretended to grouse. "Happy now?"

"Happy, happy!" Leo exclaimed, pushing off the wall and swimming away to Raph.

He picked him up and gently tossed him into the water. Leo resurfaced, wide-eyed, but the shock of being thrown quickly faded and he screamed "Again!" with such enthusiasm that the pipes above their heads rattled.

"Inside voices, Leo," Don rebuked gently but he grabbed the tot and tossed him to Mikey who caught him.

"Wheeeee!" Leo squealed, though he was quieter. Marginally.

The four brothers were in the pool until Leo started to cling to more than swim around them, his eyelids drooping. Raph offered to take him from Mikey who held him carefully, but his little brother shook his head.

"I got this," he said softly as he climbed out of the pool one-handed and went in search of a towel.

Spotting something on the floor, Raph grabbed it and threw it with a call of "Mikey!"

Mikey caught Blue deftly, a smile on his face, and walked away.

"I think he's getting better," Don observed as he sat on the edge and wrung out his mask.

Raph's gaze lingered on his brother's retreating back before glancing to Donnie beside him. "I think we're all getting better," he said.

"But we still need Leo back," Don reminded him.

"Yeah. I know." A pause and a sigh. "I know."

-:-

Please review. Also, because I'm sick (and therefore slightly grumpy) I can say that "add more" and anything like unto it do not qualify as reviews in my book. I AM going to add more. Maybe you can comment on the fluff or Raph's turn-about or my grammar or anything else that's relevant to the chapter. Next update should be Tuesday, per usual. Hopefully I don't just kill everybody because that is seriously how tired and sick I am right now. Here's hoping.


	28. Chapter 28

**Guest:** I'm glad Chapter 27 is one of your favourite chapters so far. I did need a break from the drama and the angst, and that little scene just strolled into my head.

 **Guest:** You are more than welcome! There's more fluff where that came from. It's coming, I swear!

 **AlessandraDC:** Of course Raph wants his older brother back. Here's the thing, though, and I'm posting it here so that others can read and know for themselves, Raph is conflicted. He misses Leo with all his heart but (and I've said this before) there's just something about having a small child smile at you, lean on you and willingly be with you. Toddler Leo is bringing out all the ooey-gooey stuff that Raph keeps carefully hidden behind his temper (more on that later) and it scared him at first but now he's coming to grips with it. He isn't accepting the situation per se, but he's willing to do what he must to be a good big brother to his former big brother. As for killing...I will try very hard but I make no promises. You know how writers are: sometimes, we just gotta kill someone.

 **Rain in the Dark:** Trust me. Mikey won't need the blackmail for when Leo's older. *conspiratorial wink* Thank you for the murder suggestions. I'll keep them in mind.

 **ThatGeekyG1rl:** I'm glad you're enjoying it. And thanks, I am feeling better. :)

 **ThardyTeasy:** First off, love your username; it's really cool to say aloud. Second, thank you! You're not the first to mention some of the other toddler fics out there, and I'm glad you think so well of mine.

 **Turtlecrazy714:** *Waves hand* This is not the review I'm looking for. Kidding! Your review is exactly what I'm looking for! Thank you for your kind words. Also, to avoid needless inbox staring, I can tell you that I update most Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. It helps me if I give myself deadlines but I try to avoid rushed writing, if you know what I mean.

 **FearlessLeader-Leonardo:** I concur. He is rather adorable. :)

 **Guest:** Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Yeah, Raph's becoming more and more of a softy when he's with little Leo. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 28

The text blurred as Donatello's eyes once more slid out of focus.

"Stupid, small print. Stupid eyes. Stupid brain," he grumbled, reaching for his mug of now-cold coffee. He grimaced as he sipped and set the mug back down. Rubbing his eyes furiously made phosphenes dance behind his eyelids and he groaned as he once more bent over the book Sensei had given him, blinking away the last of the spots.

"Magic," he muttered. "Magic. Really, Sensei?" He turned a page to a drawing depicting protective circles with various symbols and charms for various threats. The amount of information was staggering and if it had been about physics or molecular biology, Don would have had it completely read and memorized inside of the three days for which he'd had it by now. But it wasn't about physics or biology or chemistry or mechanics or geology or medicine or astronomy or anything he was remotely interested in. It was about magic. _Magic._ Hokum at best. Lunacy at worst. He didn't even know why Splinter had had it in his possession, let alone how he'd received it. The lack of damage told of impeccable care before and after Splinter had acquired it – had he purchased it? Unlikely. The Japanese notes in the margins were not his father's penmanship so someone had given it to him. _Given_ because there was no damage that was telltale of any item discarded into the sewers. Sensei had always struck Donnie as realistic, for all his spiritual wisdom, and he had never steered any of them wrong concerning anything of import but… _magic?_

He left his chair, setting it spinning, and circled the lab once, twice, and sat down again, only to get back up and continue his stiff-legged striding. Magic…magic… He scooped up the open book with one hand, snatched up his mug with the other and used his foot to open his lab door, kicking it closed behind him as he exited. He sipped as his eyes scanned every detail of word and diagram. Magic…magic…

Aliens, sure. DNA-altering ooze, fine. Ninja in New York, a daily occurrence. Mad scientists, hell-bent government agents, time-wielding freakazoids (shudder), been there and done it. But magic? He was an _intellectual_! He was a _genius_! His genius was founded on facts, and science, and things he could study and experiment with. Things that were tangible and real and definitely _not_ magical!

Stalking into the kitchen, he all but slammed his now-empty mug onto the counter. He eyed the coffee maker for only a second before he turned on his heel and stormed through the lair, nose still buried in the offensive volume in his hands.

He was a stiff-legged predator as he prowled into the living room and threw himself into the armchair. Eventually, his patience wore out. _Of all the idiotic notions,_ he snarled, and he tossed the book onto the coffee table with a fraction less of prejudice than he was already feeling. (After all, it was still a book and belonged to Master Splinter.)

It landed with a thud and fell on its spine, its pages cascading open.

"Donatello, are you well?"

Don's head whipped around to find an audience. He had forgotten that Splinter had, for once, come out of his rooms to enjoy some time with them (and by them, he meant Raph, Mikey and Leo). The foursome were deeply occupied with building blocks of various shapes and colours. While his younger brothers had their own constructions which were mildly impressive, Don had to grudgingly admire Splinter's complex structure; even Leo who sat in the rat's lap was wide-eyed as their father set another piece on his elaborate, Japanese-styled castle, though Sensei's eyes were on Don.

"My son?" he asked again.

"Fine," Don bit out, heaving himself out of the chair and heading once more to his lab.

"Obviously," scoffed Raph, freezing him mid-step. "Ya've been in yer lab all day and look like crud. Have ya even eaten since breakfast?"

"Don't patronize me, Raphael," rebuked Don, turning to wield Leo's _I'm eldest so shut up_ expression with surprising aptitude. "I'm not in the mood."

"Obviously." The red-banded turtle shrugged and turned back to their game.

"Peace, my sons," interjected Splinter as he set Leo aside and rose. "Donatello, while I appreciate your efforts with the book, I must agree with Raphael. Perhaps we should get dinner started. Michelangelo? I believe grilled cheese sandwiches and some soup would be nice."

"Awesome!" Mikey leaped to his feet. "I mean, uh, hai, Sensei." He inclined his head and darted into the kitchen ahead of the rat.

Donnie frowned. Now it was just him and Raph. _And Leo,_ he added as he watched the toddler take a block from Mikey's tower and hand it to Raph with a happy "Here you go!"

"Thanks, little buddy," answered Raph with a gentle smile.

He really should head back to his lab. Coffee first, though. He turned around and was halfway across the living room when Raphael's sharp voice sounded: "Hey, Leo, no. Don't touch that!"

Donnie spun and his gaze fell on the toddler who inched toward the discarded book.

"Leo," Raph warned, half-rising.

"It's a book, Raph," grumbled Donatello. "It's not going to bite him."

Leo slid within reaching distance and stretched out a hesitant finger. Was the air suddenly thicker? The lights flickered, and Don made a mental note to check the fuse box.

Then the toddler's finger touched the paper.

Purple light flashed at the contact, and every single lightbulb and electronic device in a fifteen-foot radius exploded in a shower of glass and sparks. Leo _screamed_ and fell to the floor, narrowly missing the table.

"LEO!"

Raph got to him first, snatching up the still body with trembling hands. "Leo, Leo! Leo, buddy, talk to me! Open yer eyes, Leo!"

Don was beside him not even a second later. "For pity's sake, Raph! I need to check his pulse!"

The younger turtle relinquished the child and Don laid him on the floor, a finger falling to his throat at the same time as he evaluated his breathing.

"Thank you, Fate," he rasped when he found both were steady and strong, and he gathered the so-small turtle in his arms.

"My sons, what happened?" Splinter ran in, his eyes wide and gleaming in the semi-darkness.

"I-I don't know," Don said, looking down at the inert form in his arms. "He touched the book."

Their father's wide eyes went wider and he rushed to them. While he laid a gentle hand to Leo's tiny forehead, Don's eyes surveyed the damage: twelve burst lightbulbs, two shattered TVs, and one blackened outlet. It wasn't bad, and Don knew it could have been a lot worse but he wasn't sure if he even had enough bulbs to replace the broken ones; plus, that outlet and the lights overhead needed new wiring from the way they were still sparking. While he sat on the floor with Leo, Mikey and Raph worked to sweep up the glass.

Then Sensei's voice whipped out, firm and commanding (but not panicking, Don was glad to note): "Raphael, in my room in the small cupboard above the bed is the incense collection. Get peppermint and meet us in the dojo. Michelangelo, the candles. Donatello, give him to me and put that book in either your room or your laboratory but keep it away from Leonardo."

The turtles obeyed with a unified whisper of "Hai, Sensei" and ran to their respective tasks.

After stowing the book in a cabinet in his lab and locking it securely, Don entered the dojo to find everything set and ready for a long and intense meditation session. (Looked like supper was on hold.) Splinter sat in a full lotus, Leo curled limply in his lap, and Raph and Mikey sat in their usual line in front of him. Don took up position on Raph's right.

"My sons," Splinter began, "I have been neglectful of the seriousness of the situation at hand and for that I apologize. Donatello –" he turned those onyx-coloured eyes on him – "I should have been more explicit in my instruction to you concerning the book. It is a tome of magic and Leonardo's current state is a product of magic. When the two made contact, the volume reacted violently to one of its products."

"He is all right, though, right, Sensei?" Mikey whispered.

"He received a magical shock," explained the rat. "His body is healthy but his spirit has closed off. We need to reopen the connection."

"Can meditation do that?" asked Donatello, his voice hushed.

"You are about to find out," was the vague reply. "Now, concentration is key. Fill your thoughts with your brother and reach for him."

 _Think of Leo, think of Leo,_ Don repeated to himself as he closed his eyes, inhaled and fell into a meditative rhythm. The first few things were obvious: a blue mask, twin katana, and a calm and strong expression in navy eyes. He frowned as he fought to remember something – anything – else. Geez, had three weeks really made him forget so much? He gritted his teeth. No. Never. Fights with Raph, that was something else. Kata at two in the morning, a cup of herbal tea before morning training, patrols under the light-polluted night sky, and a nasty habit of melting into the shadows. Handing their butts to them when they sparred, rare and tiny smiles, just as rare and light chuckles, and comforting arms when they suffered nightmares. Blue fire in his eyes when he was mad. Classic literature and strategy texts, endless hours of meditation and practice, a drive for perfection… Not spending time with them. Seclusion and separation from them ever since the leader ceremony when they were twelve. When had his smile and laugh become so few and far between? Was it their fault? Was it Leo's? Or was it Don's specifically?

 _It was never your fault, Don._

The smell of peppermint and the gentle heat of the candles faded away, and Donatello found himself standing in a blank, beige-coloured world. The only thing he could see was a brick wall spanning to the right and left as far as he could see. He lifted a hand and grazed the fired, red clay. It was solid and strong beneath his fingers – why had he expected anything else?

"Leo?" he called. "Come on, little buddy, where are you?"

"Donnie?"

The tiny, terrified voice came from the other side of the brick wall, and Don's heartrate accelerated. "Hang on, Leo. We're coming to get you. Don't worry."

"Why should I worry?"

Donatello spun and found a pair of navy eyes set in a familiar face looking back at him. "L-Leo?"

Leo was standing in front of him, not five feet away. Leo had his mask around his eyes and his katana on his back. Leo was sixteen.

"Daddy! Mikey! Raphie!" He heard Leo exclaim from behind the wall. Had his family found Leo? Wait, what had _he_ just found?

Leo smiled sadly at him, an ageless sorrow swimming in his eyes. "Father needs to be a little more specific in his instruction," he said. "He told you to think of me but he never said which me to think of."

Sudden voices echoed through Don's brain: _Donatello, we have located your brother. Wake up._

 _Wake up, Don! C'mon, we have Leo. He's fine. Wake up._

 _Dudes, is he asleep?_

Don stared at the Leo in front of him then back at the brick wall and then back to his brother. His only elder brother, his leader and guide and cornerstone. His refuge of safety. His calm in the storm that was their lives.

"I'm dreaming. I'm not meditating at all. I've fallen asleep and now I'm dreaming."

Leo just shrugged. "Believe what you will, Don. You've always relied on what your senses tell you."

 _Donnie? Don, you gotta wake, bro._

 _Donatello, I need you to concentrate on my voice and wake up._

Donnie swallowed and ignored his family calling to him. "If you're real, then I can touch you…right?"

In answer, his brother held out a hand for him, and the purple-masked turtle slid forward cautiously. His mind was running on a loop of single thought: _This can't be happening, this isn't real. This can't be happening, this isn't real._

Their fingers were an inch apart – already, Donnie could feel the change in air temperature surrounding his brother, as if he were warm and alive and real. Their fingers were an inch apart and then something heavy slammed into his chest and head.

"Leo!" he shouted as his brother and the wall fell away into blackness – or maybe he fell away. "Leo," he mumbled. He lay on his back, furry hands on his forehead and chest. His eyes snapped open.

Mikey appeared in his field of vision, his eyes wide and his brow lined with worry. "Dude, what happened?"

Splinter helped him sit up, and his eyes fell on Leo – little, toddler-Leo – safe and sound and wide awake in Raph's lap. Both watched him worriedly.

"Donatello? Are you all right, my son?"

"I…I think I fell asleep," he admitted, dropping his gaze. "I was dreaming. I'm fine. It was just a dream." He eased himself out of his father's grip and walked out.

It had been a dream. Only a dream.

-:-

Whew. No one died. Please review. :)


	29. Chapter 29

**WhoAmI659:** Sorry for the cardiac arrest! To be fair to Donnie, he's about to make a few giant leaps forward; so he can afford this one, little setback. I'm glad you're loving Raph. :)

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Flatterer! :) I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the story as much as you are. Thank you.

 **AlessandraDC:** Thank you, kindly! Unfortunately, I've never read the comics. I watched the 90's movies and then (of course) the 2003 series but stopped after season 5. I am seriously trying very hard not to kill anyone since in my original outline, I did kill someone of...significant importance; however, as the story has progressed and because of the general love you guys have for it, I'm slowly veering away from that ending. I don't think I can find it in my heart to kill anyone, not in this fic, at least. Still, I have the original end-scene. :)

 **Leolover9999:** Thank you, hon! That's very kind of you!

 **2ndGenGeek:** I was tittering to myself as I watched Don in my mind's eye. He's quite active when he's frustrated and I enjoyed describing his movements. I'm glad you found him as funny as I did. As for Leo, "hiding" might be an improper term but an explanation is still a few chapters away. Sorry. :)

 **Susan:** I am feeling loads better, thank you. Take note, guys: Get your flu shots! Very important!

 **Guest:** Wondering what Splinter is going to say on the matter is also going with the assumption that Don is going to tell him something in the first place. Thank you!

 **Anonymous:** I hope you figuratively died. ;) And give Donnie time. He'll make the connections soon enough.

Also, thank you to all! I now have sixty followers and fifty-seven favourite'd! You people are amazing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 29

 _"_ _I'm really sorry, Raph, but I can't come down today. It's been a madhouse all day and I've two clients coming for dinner tonight to discuss a bust in my shop that may or may not be worth half a million dollars. Do you think you can come get the lightbulbs sometime after dark?"_

"Don wants 'em in as soon as possible," Raph replied, the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder as he rubbed Leo dry from his bath. "I'll talk to him. Sensei doesn't like us goin' topside in daylight but, hey, desperate times, right?"

 _"_ _For a few lightbulbs? I sure hope not."_

"Ya didn't see it, April. The things just exploded, and now the wirin''s all messed up. Scared us all half ta death. We're still findin' bits of glass, and the outlet's sparkin'. Leo's not allowed on the floor now and it's drivin' him nuts that he has ta be carried all the time. We got calluses on our feet. He doesn't."

April sighed heavily. _"All right. Do what you have to do. I'll set the lightbulbs just inside the window if you decide to come by early."_

"Thanks, April. Yer the best."

 _"_ _So you guys keep telling me. Take care, Raph."_

"You, too, April. Bye."

He hung up and set the phone on the counter, tousling the towel across Leo's head and producing a laugh.

"April coming?" the toddler asked.

"Not today, little man. She's got some stuff to do."

Leo pouted but it didn't last long. "Okay. All done?"

Raphael smiled. "Yes. All done. Come on." He threw the towel over the rack to dry, settled the kid on his hip, tucked the phone into his belt and walked out.

He met Don halfway to the kitchen. His brother was a lot more twitchy since yesterday's events. Donnie hadn't said a word about what had happened to him during meditation, not even to Master Splinter, and Raph was convinced that the coffee wasn't helping. His purple-masked brother was drawn and pale but he tried to not let it show.

"Oh, hey, Raph," he greeted. "How'd the talk go with April?"

"She can't come down," replied Raph. "She's got business but she did say she'd leave the bulbs by the window if we want to go get them."

"You want to take Leo topside?" Don's brown eyes bulged.

"Go-go?" Leo piped up cheerily.

Raph stared at his elder brother. "Shell, no, Don! I'm no idiot. I can take care of him for a few hours. 'Sides, Splinter and Mikey should be back in another couple hours with supplies."

Donnie frowned and exhaled heavily. "All right. I'll go. You sure you can manage until I get back?"

Raphael smiled, resettling Leo on his hip. "Come on, Don. It's me." He followed his brother as he went to get ready to go, and kicked around an idea in his head before speaking. "Hey. So. Leo has gotten really antsy these last few days…can I take him out inta the sewers?"

Don regarded him with wide eyes. "You're asking permission?"

"Do ya not want me askin'?" Raph retorted. "And this ain't about me. Donnie, the kid's been trapped in here for three weeks. As big as this place is, and as much as he enjoys swimmin' in the pool, I think he needs ta stretch his legs."

"You have a point," Don conceded. "All right but…no more than a mile, got it?"

"Sure thing, Don!" Raph mock-saluted him and Donnie rolled his eyes.

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"I don't even know what that means."

"Maybe you should look it up?"

"Maybe ya should take off? I ain't the one who's worryin' 'bout lightbulbs."

"Bye-bye, Donnie!" Leo chipped in, waving at him.

Don's expression faltered a fraction at the beaming child but Raph simply chalked it up to stress and waved him out the door.

"All right, Leo," he informed the tiny turtle on his hip, "are ya ready ta go-go?"

"Go-go!" exclaimed little Leo. "Go-go! Blue, too?"

"I almost forgot!" Raph tweaked the kid's beak, was rewarded with a laugh, and fetched the mask from the couch where Leo had left it that morning. He watched his baby brother hug it to his chest with both hands for a moment before walking out the door for the first time in three weeks with Leonardo.

Raph set him down but kept tight hold of his hand while Leo stared about in open awe and then abruptly yanked forward, his eyes and smile shining in the gloom.

"Come on, Raphie! Come on!"

Raphael kept his grip tight and restrained him. "Hold up there, kiddo. This ain't the lair," he said. "It's dangerous out here so ya gotta hold my hand. If ya let go, we're goin' straight home, okay?"

"No go home! Okay, Raphie," the toddler replied and side-stepped closer to him.

The red-banded turtle smiled down at him, said, "Come on. I know a place" and took the lead.

Careful to avoid ladders, whirlpools and narrow ledges, Raph held Leo's hand the whole way and, keeping one eye on their surroundings, watched the child take everything in. He gazed about with wide, navy eyes and didn't flinch from the dripping and gurgling pipes, the dusty brick and concrete, or the eerie shadows. In fact, there was an unexpectedly intense curiosity in his face that was not unlike Don's when he was examining a new piece of tech or solving an equation. Leo was a sponge: soaking up new experiences and knowledge like water.

Although it was genuinely adorable (not that he'd ever admit it), a tug in his gut reminded him that this was still his eldest brother and that this was not the way things should be. He did wonder, though, and often asked himself if his brothers and father did, too, if – when! – Don returned the toddler to his proper age, Leo would remember any of this. Watching his brother swing from his hand, a smile that would make Mikey proud plastered on his face, he half-hoped he would. The picture books, the finger-paintings, the forts and cuddles…yeah, it'd be nice if Leo knew that Mikey was able to be careful and attentive, that Don was able to be inclusive, that Sensei could laugh and that Raph was capable of being kind and gentle.

 _Yeah,_ Raph thought with a smile, _it would be nice._

Not even a mile from the lair, their current tunnel came to an abrupt end and opened up into a cavernous shaft with seven drainage pipes, all of which emptied into the pool twelve feet below them. A rusty railing lined the edge with an opening for the old ladder descending down to the walkways, allowing for workers and the more daring to test their footing on the slippery concrete. Raph had discovered this place years ago and had often come here when Leo-the-sixteen-year-old had gotten on his nerves.

The older turtle brought the younger to the railing and crouched, one arm wrapped protectively around the little torso.

"Ooooh!" Leo murmured, tilting his head upward to take in the ceiling some thirty feet above their heads. His voice was barely audible over the roar of the waterfalls but Raph still caught his "Pretty, Raphie."

Raph smiled and squeezed his little brother. "I think it's pretty, too, little buddy."

Leo leaned back until he nestled in the slope of Raph's shoulder and chest, and Raphael curled his other arm around him, shifting his weight on the uneven floor.

Wait…uneven? It had always been more or less intact before. Now, though, massive fissures ran along their lookout post and the ground sloped marginally towards the open shaft.

Horror plunged through his whole body as he realized his gross error, as the ground crumbled under the weight of a one-hundred-eighty-pound turtle and his much smaller companion.

Eleven years of ingrained reflex and instinct made him move. Pivoting on the balls of his feet, he pushed his brother hard – too hard! What if he broke something? – onto more solid ground.

Metal squealed when part of the railing was ripped from the wall, and Raph fell. His stomach and heart leaped into his throat, preventing him from shouting. At least it was only twelve feet down. Maybe he would land in the water? Maybe, if the ladder was intact, he could climb back up? Leo would be scared. Leo would need his brother.

Leo was screaming.

Over the roar of water, the agony that shot through his leg when he landed on something sharp, and the rattle of stone and metal raining down on him, he heard his brother scream "Raphael!" and then the world went black.

-:-

Yes, yes, I'm a terrible human being. Please review.


	30. Chapter 30

**2ndGenGeek:** No? No? EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! (If you get this reference, you're awesome! If you don't, you're no less awesome.)

 **dragonprincess1988:** I love it, too. I swear I'm a sadist because normal people don't enjoy torturing other people, and by other people I mean both you guys and fictional characters.

 **Guest:** Thank you! Here's your update!

 **Guest:** Thank you so much! "Roller coaster" is definitely a popular term for reviewers. :) Don't worry. Donnie's not going to stay quiet for long.

 **WhoAmI659:** You should get that heart issue checked out. ;)

 **DragonChild157:** Sorry, sorry!

 **Leolover9999:** I honestly have no idea how many chapters this will take. I might cap it at fifty. It depends on how much stuff still has to happen so don't quote me on it. I didn't even think this thing would be thirty chapters, let alone not finished after thirty chapters.

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Everybody's going to be just fine, I promise. Going to be. Not is right now. *evil laugh*

 **Rain in the Dark:** Don't worry about the strangeness of your review. I had fun deciphering the sources of your comments. And thank you, I'm feeling much better than I was. :) I'm also pretty sure that I won't kill anyone in this fic so rest easy.

 **Guest:** Just you wait... :)

Also, thank you once again to **AlessandraDC** for her adorable sketch on Deviantart of Raph and Leo! It was such a surprise, and I'm still reeling and squealing with glee! Go check it out, guys!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 30

Donatello did not especially enjoy moving around above ground in broad daylight but that didn't mean that he didn't know how; there were just fewer shadows to hide in. It wasn't overly difficult but it did require more focus than what he was currently giving. He couldn't help it, though! His thoughts, already in uproar over the possibility of magic, the knowledge that the Foot had a second gun, and the concern that his family might or might not fall apart, were consumed with that dream. It had all seemed so real – he had touched the brick wall, had felt its rough surface – and yet Don was more than half-convinced it had just been his imagination. He wasn't exactly prone to wild daydreams but, especially in their lives, there was a first time for everything.

 _Even magic?_ a snide voice muttered in his head.

 _Shut up,_ he growled.

 _Even two Leo's?_

 _Still not listening._

Two Leo's wasn't just improbable it was impossible. Even if something as ludicrous as magic did exist, why would Karai invent a magical weapon whose victims' personalities were divided into mature and immature? What could she gain? Was it some kind of torturous device? Reduce the target to a toddler, complete with toddler consciousness, but keep the original and older consciousness trapped inside with no one the wiser? That was a little far flung, even for him.

Unless it was unintentional.

That thought almost pulled him up short. In broad daylight. But he hurried on, jumping the last of the alleys to April's place. It was something he would have to investigate, and he knew he would keep it to himself until he had enough evidence. While Leo's subconscious was alive and kicking (and causing the poor toddler nightmares), the idea that Leo was aware was alarming enough to raise goosebumps on Don's rough skin. He didn't know what his brothers or even his father would think if he told them of his suspicions.

 _Keep it to yourself, Donnie,_ he told himself as he landed on April's fire escape. _The family's got enough to worry about as it is right now._ The window was wide open to let in the late July breeze, and he heard voices in the apartment, as well as the shop below. He had to be quick or he'd be spotted.

"Hey, April! What's this bag fer, by the window?"

Don froze, half-in and half-out of the window with one hand already reaching for the white, plastic bag of lightbulbs. As April called from below, "Just leave it alone, Casey! It's for the guys!" a human hand slid into his field of vision, and both turtle and human looked up at the same time. Chocolate eyes met sapphire ones.

Casey. Speaking of enough to worry about.

"Donnie!" Casey exclaimed, jerking his hand back as if the purple-masked ninja would bite him. "I, uh, didn't know ya were comin'. Ya guys never come topside in daylight."

"It's an emergency," Don replied quietly, scooping the bag from the floor.

"What happened? Is everybody okay? Not that it's my business or anythin'," he added hastily.

Donnie cast the large human a sideways glance. His concern was genuine, that was easy to see, but the way his expression fell when he said it wasn't his business… How did so many things go so wrong in only twenty-four days? "Everybody's fine," he answered. "It was…an accident, I guess. A really weird accident. We lost a few bulbs, a couple of TVs, and an outlet. Nothing that can't be fixed but we didn't have enough bulbs to replace the broken ones." He lifted the bag to indicate what lay inside.

"Oh." Casey didn't look at him.

Don turned to leave. He had to get back to Raph and Leo, he had the bulbs to put in and wiring to fix, and he still had to finish that magic book. But…

"Hey, Casey?" he ventured.

Casey's head snapped up at the address. "Yeah?"

"…Thanks. For, you know, Mikey. He wouldn't have made it home if it weren't for you. Thank you."

Casey reddened from his neck all the way to his ears and he looked down once more. "Yer welcome," he muttered.

Donnie hesitated for only a moment before sliding completely into the apartment. He took his friend's shoulder gently and gave it a kind squeeze. "You look like crud, Casey Jones," he told him, purposefully using one of Raph's phrases.

That made the human smile a little. "Yeah. Sleepless nights will do that ta ya."

All Don had to do was wait and then Casey's shoulders drooped. "I haven't slept since I yelled at April. I mean, we made up and all, but I can't believe some of the stuff I said. And ya guys were listenin'. That just made it worse when I found out."

"Raph and Mikey were listening," Donnie corrected quietly.

"Can't believe Raph didn't smash through the window then and there."

"I'm sure he was thinking about it," the turtle said dryly.

His smile faded as he said, "Mikey told me he wants to stab me." The defeat and loss in his voice were staggering.

"The desire will wane. Maybe not anytime soon since he's got his hands full but…give him time. He'll come around eventually."

"Ya really think so?" Casey looked up at him with naked hope in his eyes.

Donnie smiled. "Come on, Casey. You think I don't know my own brother?"

Casey nodded a little, small and hesitant. "I'm sorry fer what I said, Don. About you and April. I know it's not true. It's just…"

"Hey." Don squeezed the heavy shoulder once more. "You got angry. It's okay."

The man's mouth twisted ruefully. "Mikey told me the same thing."

"Yeah, well, Raph said it to me first," Don pointed out, remembering with a grimace their violent fight more than three weeks ago.

Casey frowned as he said, "I wonder who said it to him? He's usually not the guy to forgive so easily."

A peculiar feeling twisted in Donatello's gut because he had a nasty suspicion that he knew exactly who had said those words to Raph often enough that the red-banded turtle would repeat them to a brother in pain. "Oh, who knows?" he said, covering his anxiety. "It was probably Sensei. His is quite the forgiving nature."

A smile slowly curled along Casey's mouth. "That sounds 'bout right. Thanks, Donnie."

Don smiled as he patted the man's shoulder and made to head out. "It was good seeing you, Casey. Life's not the same without you."

"Likewise, buddy. Hey, ya got a few minutes? I think April has some lemonade in the fridge."

The turtle hesitated for only a second before he nodded and followed him into the kitchen. "It'd be nice to cool down. It's too hot out there."

"I hear ya, man." Two glasses were pulled from the cupboard and a pitcher was set on the counter.

A few minutes turned into an hour as the two chit-chatted about everything (though mostly Leo and his antics) but Don wasn't worried. Raph would be fine for a while longer. Besides, Splinter and Mikey would be back soon if they weren't already –

Don's shell-cell beeped loudly. Don knocked over his mercifully empty glass with a jerk and snatched the phone from his belt, staring at it.

"Aren't ya gonna answer it?" Casey prodded as the beeping continued shrilly.

"It's not a call," was the alarmingly dead-sounding reply. "It's an S.O.S." Donnie looked up at him. "It's Raph."

-:-:-:-

Mikey crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. Hewas getting annoyed. He and Master Splinter had come home twenty minutes ago to find an empty lair and no note. Don, Raph and Leo were just…gone. There was no sign of a struggle or fight so that ruled out a home invasion (thank you, Fate!) so what had happened? It wasn't like either of his brothers to just up and go without a word, and he could tell Sensei was getting more worried by the minute, if the fluffed-out fur and twitchy ears were any indication.

"Something is not right, my son," he murmured as they paced in the living room.

No sooner did he say it than Mikey's phone beeped shrilly. And kept beeping. One pair of blue eyes and another of onyx eyes widened at the alarm.

An S.O.S.

About to check who had set off the alarm, his shell-cell rang with Donnie's ringtone, cutting off the beeping. It was at his ear in less than a second. "Donnie?"

"Mikey, thank goodness you picked up! It's Raph. I let him take Leo out into the tunnels because Leo was going stir-crazy. I've got a lock on his location but I just left April's. Casey's giving me a ride to the garage. Are you home yet?"

"Walked in the door twenty minutes ago," Mikey answered. "You ever heard of a text message or note?"

"Sorry! I honestly thought they'd beat you home. They left at the same time as I did but that was almost two-and-half-hours ago. Casey and I got to chatting and then the S.O.S. went off."

"How far away are you?"

"ETA ten minutes."

That was too much time to wait around if their brothers' lives were in danger – and they were if Raph had hit the panic button. "Then follow us when you get here. We're heading to Raph."

"Take my duffel with you! It has the advanced First Aid kit."

"Got it." Mikey hung up and checked the location of Raph's phone: not even a mile from the lair.

Splinter looked up at him, his gaze stony. "I will follow you, my son. You know the way."

Mikey just nodded, grabbed the duffel that was in his brother's lab, and the two sprinted for the door.

Just a little over five minutes later, the turtle and the rat slowed as falling water met their ears.

"Go carefully here, Michelangelo," Splinter warned. "The floor is uneven."

Mikey just nodded and picked his way along the corridor. The tunnel fell away suddenly into a large, circular shaft with seven drainage pipes. With a high ceiling and the gloomy light filtering through the cascading rush, it was eerily beautiful.

Then he noticed that part of the guardrail and some of the floor were gone, and he hurried to the edge.

"Raph?" he called.

"Mikey!" The answering call was not his elder brother's. It was Leo's. "Help! Raphie hurt!"

"Stay there, Leo! We're coming!"

The access ladder was intact and Mikey let Splinter go down first. They landed amidst twisted metal and concrete, and the orange-masked ninja almost slipped on the slippery ground.

"Leonardo, are you all right?" Splinter asked as he knelt beside the pair and took Leo into his arms.

Mikey could see that Raph was unconscious and his mask was gone.

"I'm okay," replied Leo, his voice trembling. "Raphie."

Mikey eased forward, setting the duffel down. "We got him, don't worry, Leo." Digging around through his brother's bag, he produced a large flashlight. The sudden illumination cast rainbows on the walls behind the falls but Mike was not focused on the beauty right now. "Oh, Raph," he murmured as he beheld his brother.

The gash across the back of Raphael's skull had stopped bleeding, thanks to the red mask wadded there, but the worst of it was a piece of rusted railing which had pierced his right calf. A familiar strip of blue cloth (half-dyed with red) was bound just above the wound in an efficient tourniquet.

Mikey didn't dare take out the metal until Don arrived so he did the best he could with checking over the rest of him and wrapping the two wounds with fresh, clean linen. He had to keep swallowing so he wouldn't throw up as his brothers' blood-soaked masks were covered, and the iron bar's tip was barely visible as it poked through the white mass.

"Mikey! Sensei!" Don's voice sounded above them and then two pairs of feet hit the concrete near them.

"Don." Mikey's voice was thick. "I didn't want to take it out."

Donnie quickly inspected his work then clapped a gentle hand to his shoulder as he said, "You did just fine, Mikey. Let's get them home. Casey? Think you can carry him up?"

He didn't realize Casey was with his brother until he stepped forward, his brow low over downcast eyes as he looked at his best friend. Mikey's heart squeezed at the emotions on the man's face but he had no time to utter words of sympathy since Don was already pulling rope out of the duffel.

"We'll tie him to you. Sensei, you go up first with Leo. Mikey, Casey and I will be right behind you with Raph. Mikey, I need your hands."

It was another several minutes until their brother was secured to Casey's large back and they began their ascent. Mikey was in front of Casey and so he heard when Raph stirred with a moaning "Leo?"

"He's just fine. You hang on, Raph," Casey soothed immediately, his voice barely audible over the roar of falling water.

"Should stab ya," Raph mumbled. "Think ya beat me ta it. Tha's rude."

"Ya can stab me later," answered the human, and Mikey heard the barest tremor of humour in his voice. "Almost at the top and then we'll get ya home."

"Sounds good, man. Wake me when we get there?"

"Sure thing, buddy."

But Raph didn't fall asleep that quickly: "Leo?" he asked again.

"He's fine. Ya did good, Raph, protectin' him like ya did."

"Check him," garbled the turtle. "I pushed him too hard."

Mikey had reached the top of the ladder and turned to help Casey up over the ledge. At Raph's words, however, turtle and man regarded each other with wide eyes. What did Raph mean he'd pushed Leo? How did Leo end up at the bottom of a twelve-foot ladder if he hadn't fallen with Raphael?

Mikey shook his head at Casey whose mouth was open to ask questions; they'd find out later, when Raph was treated and more lucid.

-:-

Please review. Next chapter is giving me trouble so I might take an extra day or so to hammer it out the way I want it. You guys are still amazing! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	31. Chapter 31

**Guest:** Stop it, darling! You're making me blush! For conformation of your inkling, please continue reading. ;)

 **Guest:** Ah, read on, dear reader. Read on.

 **WhoAmI659:** Emotions. Emotions everywhere. And I am having so much fun here!

Thanks again to **all readers and followers**. You make my heart happy. I go back and read your reviews just to remind myself how much you guys actually love what I'm doing. You have to realize that this is my first public work, and that it is so well-received makes my confidence and soul soar. I live for your reactions and reviews. They truly are a blessing in my life. Every time I see another number in the review, follower and favourite boxes, my heart stutters and my cheeks flush with pleasure. One more. I have one more! And knowing that they aren't just numbers but actual, real people who are loving _my_ story and _my_ style (if not my characters)...the feeling is enrapturing and heart-lifting. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you a thousand times over. Know, dear readers, that I appreciate you so much, even those who don't review - please do! I want to know you! Also, I click on your names to see what you like, to read _your_ stories and _your_ favourites; it's how I explore Fanfiction. I know leaving reviews can be tedious, especially when you're following multiple stories, but, please, a few kind words never go astray. I don't want you to be just a number. I want to see your reactions and your emotions. I want you to tell me what you think (mostly because I'm insecure like that but, hey) because you are not a number! If a cliffhanger leaves you reeling, tell me. If a tear was in your eye, say so. If a phrase left a bad taste in your mouth, let me know. I take all suggestions into account. This fic has long since jumped the track I originally had it on - I am literally making this up as I go which is not my typical writing style, let me tell you that right now. But know this, your suggestions may slide in. Several already have. You drive this story, and I thank you so very much again.

I did not mean for that to be that long but I had to get it out. Now, without further ado, Chapter 31.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 31

"Donatello?"

Donnie didn't look up from his immediate younger brother's vacant face. He had finished tending to Raph's injuries almost a half-hour ago, the lab's cleanup was done, and now he sat beside him with a heavy heart. He never should have let them go out into the sewers. "Yes, Sensei?"

Near-silent footsteps on the floor drew closer and a gentle, clawed hand rested on his shoulder. "I require your assistance, my son."

"Can it wait?" he asked. His voice trembled, on the verge of tears. He'd done this. This was his fault.

"I am afraid not. Come. Mr. Jones has agreed to watch over Raphael."

It was a sign of distress and exhaustion that he failed to notice Casey until he sat down in the chair on the other side of the cot. "Don't worry, Don," their human friend said, his blue eyes carefully lowered to hide emotion. "I'll yell if anythin' happens."

Don exhaled heavily. "All right," he said and he followed Splinter out.

"Leonardo is injured," his father said as he led him to the bathroom. "It is not serious," he added when Donnie started, "but I fear infection."

The pair entered the bathroom and Don spotted Mikey on the lip of the tub with Leo in his lap. The toddler's knees were covered in gauze and Band-Aids but what was peculiar was that he had his hands tucked against his little plastron. Don could see the smears of blood between his fingers.

"What happened?" he demanded, hunkering down and taking one of Leo's tiny fists.

"Raph said he pushed him before he fell," Mikey murmured.

"But…that's not right!" Don exclaimed, looking up from peeling apart the little fingers. "Leo would had to have climbed down the ladder to get to Raph." His eyes fell on the toddler who sat unnaturally quietly in Mikey's lap, and a nasty suspicion crept through his brain and heart. "Leo? Did Raphie push you?"

A rapid, jerking nod was the child's silent confirmation.

"Did you climb down the ladder?"

The intensity of his brother's and father's gazes made it hard to breathe.

"I in trouble?" the toddler asked, his voice trembling and hushed.

"No, little brother," Don soothed, gently cupping his cheek. "You are not in trouble. But I need you to be honest now. Did you climb down the ladder?"

Another mute nod.

Heart pounding, Donnie left the interrogation there and looked back at his little brother's injured hands.

The sight was ghastly and sparked gasps from all three older mutants. Doubtlessly far worse than his knees had been, the little palms were torn and imbedded with sharp pebbles and debris, blood still trickled sluggishly, and the skin from fingers to palm-heels was rubbed raw, not unlike a rope burn.

Tears dribbled down Leo's cheeks as he whispered, "It hurts."

With the gentlest fingers, Donatello first wiped away his brother's tears and then set to work, utilizing the tweezers and blowing through the iodine and the several cotton swabs and balls Sensei handed him to make sure he got and disinfected everything. It was another tally on his list of suspicions when Leo only whimpered quietly against the burn of the disinfectant (any child would have screamed). He wrapped the hands so carefully from wrist to fingertip and then pressed a kiss to the linen-wrapped palms.

"You're okay now," he whispered, fighting back bile as he wondered just what Leonardo had done to save Raph. "Do you want something to eat?"

Leo shook his head. "Not hungry," he mumbled.

"How about a drink? Mikey can make you a smoothie? You should have something." He nodded to Mikey who nodded back.

"That sounds good," the orange-masked turtle put in kindly. "We got ice cream in the freezer, and there's one banana left. How about that?"

Leo didn't look all too keen on the idea but he muttered, "Okay" and allowed himself to be carried out of the bathroom.

Don made to follow but Splinter stopped him with a hand on his arm. "You would do well to more carefully hide your suspicions, my son," he said.

Donnie stared at him. "Uh…I don't know what you mean, Sensei," was all he said.

The look his father gave him was indulgently skeptical. "You suspect that Leonardo is not all he seems," he clarified.

Oh. He sighed and looked away. "I think it's more than suspicion, Father," he confessed. "The evidence is mounting."

The black eyes glittering in the full light of the bathroom went wide. "You have evidence? Does it have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"

"Hai," he whispered. "I thought…maybe it was just a dream but…"

"Go on," Sensei encouraged.

How best to say this? Donatello was never good at explaining his thoughts but this was Sensei and it was about Leo. He had to try. "I've always thought to change theories to fit the facts and to never change the facts to fit the theory. I guess I've been ignoring this theory because even if it was possible, I didn't want to believe it."

"And now you believe it?" Splinter's coal-black eyes were wide and piercing and, yes, hopeful.

Donnie shrugged. "It fits. It fits everything. It makes so much sense. From the first night we brought Leo home to now, how can I not believe?" He looked back up at his father and sensei. "He's still here. Leo's still here and he's trapped inside a three-year-old body. There are two of him, Sensei. I saw him with my own eyes yesterday. It was an accident that I even found him but he was there – he _is_ there!"

The old rat was silent for a long moment and then, with tears in his eyes, he spoke: "I am glad you succeeded where I have failed, Donatello. I suspected your brother's presence these last weeks but I never could contact him." He smiled at him. "I am proud of your strong bond with your brothers, my son, for I feared Leonardo lost for good."

Don smiled tiredly. "I'm glad that's not the case. Otherwise, today would have gone very differently."

Sensei inclined his head as he said, "As would have a good many other days, I'm sure."

"Master Splinter…are you going to tell Mikey and Raph, when he wakes, that is?"

"Indeed, we will, but first things first, my son. Come. Leonardo can afford to wait for a while longer while we get our feet under us again."

Don let his father usher him out and made a beeline for the lab-turned-infirmary. He found Mikey, with Leo silently sipping a smoothie in his lap, in a chair beside Casey. His little brother smiled down at Raph…who had his eyes open.

"What the shell?" Don gasped out, rushing forward. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"He opened his eyes, like, twenty seconds ago," defended Mike. "Besides, we heard you coming."

"Hey, Don." Raph smiled dizzily up at him. "How's it?"

"If by _it_ you mean my shot nerves, well, they're shot," Donnie retorted.

"Aw, c'mon, Donnie, s'not that bad."

While Don scowled, too irate and worried to come up with a witty comeback, Mikey interjected with, "So, uh, not that this is great timing but Casey's invited us out to the farmhouse for some R 'n' R, and considering everything that's happened, Raph getting skewered not included, I'm kinda thinking it's a good idea."

"It is a wonderful idea," said Splinter calmly. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. The offer is most kind and welcome."

Casey rubbed the back of his neck and blushed as he said, "Least I can do."

Don's brows lifted as his immediate younger brother and the human smiled awkwardly at each other. Well, at least that was patched up. Donnie also had to admire the spectacular speed at which the two forgave each other – somewhere within the twenty seconds of Raph waking up and Don walking through the door.

"It's not and ya know it," Raph jibed gently, making Casey chuckle. "Geez, Don," he added, looking back at the purple-masked turtle. "I'm not dyin'!"

A frown pulled at Donatello's face as he stepped around the bed to examine his brother. "I will be the judge of that," he growled. "What hurts?"

"Aw, Don. Do we hafta do this now?"

Donnie knew how much his brother hated being in the spotlight, especially when he was hurt, around other people. "Yep." He popped his lips on the 'p'. "Suck it up. Tell me, Raph. What hurts?"

"Mostly my head, my leg and my shell."

"Your shell took the brunt of impact but you cracked your head pretty good." Don helped his brother sit up carefully and absently fingered along his brother's bandaged skull.

"Blacked out, didn't I?"

Mikey stiffened as he set the empty smoothie cup on the floor. "Were you out the whole time?"

Now it was Don's turn to stiffen, and he felt Splinter's rigidity even from across the room.

Raphael, however, didn't notice the intensity. "Yeah. I woke up to find myself strapped to Casey's back."

Don watched Mikey's blue eyes narrow. "There was a tourniquet around your leg to stop the bleeding." Don knew this, having had to cut away the blue mask to properly tend to the wound. (Splinter had immediately made Leo a new Blue.)

Finally, Raph caught on. His gold eyes went wide. "What're ya sayin', Mike? Someone helped me before ya got to me? Wait…how did ya guys even find us?"

"You radioed an SOS," Donnie said quietly.

"Wasn't me! I fell, blacked out, end of story."

"You had to have done something!" Mikey protested sharply, though he still had a care for the toddler in his lap.

"I didn't do nothin'!" Raph shot back.

Donnie could feel Sensei's intense gaze on his face. He sighed. _So much for waiting until we got our feet back under us._ "Mikey, that may not be entirely true."

"If you have some other explanation as to how Raph magically got medical help and an SOS out, do tell!" Mikey bit out.

"Come to think of it," Don said slowly, "that's not entirely far-fetched."

Three pairs of eyes blinked at him – well, four, including Leo.

"Spit it out, Don," grumbled Raph. "How in the shell did magic save me? Since when did you start believing in magic anyway?"

"Since a while ago, actually." He shrugged. "I just didn't want to believe that I believed."

"Spare us your philosophy and spit it out!" Mikey demanded.

Don glanced at Splinter. He had to look at Splinter, just to make sure that what he was about to do was approved: a silent, solemn nod.

A deep breath. "I have enough evidence to say that without a doubt, Leo, our sixteen-year-old brother, is alive, conscious and trapped inside his three-year-old body, and the three-year-old currently sitting in your lap, Mikey, is another version of him. The toddler is the main controller of the body but only in times of stress or peril has the mature Leo surfaced and taken control."

Silence.

No one spoke. Don wondered if Raph, Mikey or Casey even breathed.

Then: "He's been here this whole time?"

Donnie had fully expected denial, disbelief, scoffed derision, skepticism and protest. That question had never bothered his darkest expectations. The fact that it was Raphael who had voiced it made it all the more heart-wrenching. He was so willing to believe.

"Hai, ototo," he whispered, unable to meet the pained amber gaze. "He's been here this whole time."

"How-how did you find out?" Mikey asked, hushed and tremulous.

"My suspicions over the last couple weeks were confirmed yesterday when I encountered our brother during meditation." He forced himself to look up and meet his younger brothers' hurt faces. "When you found little Leo, there was a brick wall, yes?"

"Yeah," Raph said pensively. "I didn't think much of it. Are ya sayin' Leo's actually separated from his body? That he's on the other side of that wall?"

"He's on the other side, yes, but he's not separated completely. Like I said, he can still take control sometimes."

Mikey's eyes went round, electric blue orbs in the infirmary's fluorescents. "Your fight. Raphie, Leo yelled Donnie's full name."

"He yelled mine, too," Raph admitted, "when I fell."

Don nodded, a scientist with an array of tried-and-true research and evidence. "This was the first time that Leo has been able to stay in control for longer than a few seconds. His hands, though scratched from you pushing him out of the way, Raph, bear signs of sliding down the rusty ladder; no child could have stepped down it since the rungs were too far apart. I have no doubt that it was he who set the tourniquet, wrapped your head, and hit the panic button on your phone to bring us to you."

His words were met with stunned awe, and he saw Mikey curl protectively around Leo. If something glistened on his brother's face before disappearing under his mask, Don did not comment. Instead he continued, "It's very possible that Karai doesn't know. It's a side-effect she didn't anticipate – and it certainly took us long enough to figure it out, even with all the clues Leo kept trying to drop when he could. The fact that his subconscious filters into little Leo's dreams was the biggest tell of all but, like an idiot, I ignored it. And when I was confronted with the concept of magic, it made all the more sense but I refused to believe it because…it's _magic_. I am such an idiot and I'm sorry for it. I cost our brother time, and all he could do was wait for me to get it."

"Hey, don't go pinnin' all this on yerself, Don," Raph said gently. "We saw the clues, too, and we ignored them, too. Yer not the only idiot here. The only non-idiot here is Casey – and Master Splinter, of course," he added hastily.

"I am afraid I must disagree with you, my son," Splinter put in calmly. "I suspected it from the first night you brought your brother home. You may have noticed that young Leonardo calls you 'Raphie', but when he spoke his first words, he called you 'Raph'. He broke through even then to comfort you, my son, and, despite my best efforts over the next few weeks, I could not reach him. It was Donatello who found him. It was his bond with you three that allowed him to reach your brother. If anything, I am the greatest fool here."

"Don't say that, Dad," Mikey begged. "We did what we could. We didn't know. We suspected and hoped but, I mean, we've had some weird stuff happen to us but never this kind of weird. Let's just be glad that Leo's actually still with us."

Don pretended to have something in his eye as his little brother so gently hugged the toddler in his lap. "We've got you now, Leo," he whispered. "We know you're there, and we're gonna work our shells off to get you back."

Toddler Leo smiled and leaned into the hug…and then something in his expression changed. Some long-lost spark lit his navy eyes, and he lifted his bandaged hands to lay them against Mikey's arms, closing his eyes and smiling a very un-childlike smile, the smile of their sixteen-year-old brother. "My Michelangelo" was all he said.

-:-

Please review.


	32. Chapter 32

**Leeannardo11:** I love how much you love this story. Thank you so much for sticking with me this long, I do appreciate it. That's an interesting point about Karai - I'll certainly keep it in mind. Thank you!

 **Guest:** I have no idea what srmthfg is (I'm assuming it's an acronym for something) but, yes, I agree. Never apologize for making me blush, and thank you for your high praise! I was very uncertain about the "My Michelangelo" because I honestly thought it was a tad bit corny but I really wanted to end the chapter on a fluffy note. I'm glad you liked it, though. :)

 **Guest:** Twice? Really? What happened to make you read it twice? ... It's not...confusing...is it? I'm glad that you're liking it so much. :)

 **WhoAmI659:** They know, they know! I'm sorry you can't hug the guys! :(

 **Rain in the Dark:** I was so uncertain about that "non-idiot" line, but thank you for loving it. :) As far as what the boys are going to do about the situation, I think their first step is to establish a proper link with Leo *hint, hint*.

 **Guest:** Let's just assume that they got them. Tetanus is bad. Don is a medic. He knows this. No tetanus for these turtles! Hooray!

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Thank you! That is kind. Here's your update!

All right, guys! Another meditation session. This one, though, everyone's on the same page and everyone's heading in the same direction. Let's go find Leo!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 32

Raphael couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous. Nervous? Was that right? Scared sounded more accurate, to be honest. He'd never admit it but, yeah, he was scared to death. The problem was, he didn't know why for. He sat with his brothers in a loose circle (triangle, really), meditation candles and peppermint incense burning soothingly in the middle. He met their eyes, trying to project calmness and confidence when all he wanted to do was crawl into his hammock and pull the blankets over his head.

Don sighed. "Ready?"

No. No, he was not ready. He didn't even know why he wasn't ready. He didn't know why he was so scared. But he nodded, and so did Mikey.

Three pairs of eyes closed. Three sets of lungs inhaled in perfect synchronization. Three minds spun out and then slowly spun together into a melded collective. Communal meditation was a difficult skill to attain while not in the astral plain but it was the only way to get to Leo: following Don's thoughts as he remembered exactly what he had thought during their session yesterday.

 _Had it been only yesterday?_ Raph mused, seeing lightbulbs burst and Leo's limp body slump to the floor in his mind's eye.

 _Focus, Raph,_ Donnie urged quietly. _Listen._

The red-banded turtle shook himself mentally as his mind filled with his brother's recollections of Leonardo: a blue mask, twin katana…rare smiles…kata…tea…books…perfection…seclusion…

"Guys, we did it."

Donnie's voice didn't sound in his mind but in his ears, and Raph opened his eyes to an expanse of beige nothingness. He recognized the brick wall that spanned in front of him, though, as the same one as or something very similar to the one in little Leo's mind.

"What is this place?" Mikey asked, and Raph sympathized with his little brother's confusion. When they had found little Leo, his mind had been colourful and filled with crayons, paint and pillow forts. The child's mind had looked very similar to the lair, complete with the pool and the dojo. Here, there was absolutely nothing but the brick wall. "Is this really Leo's mind?"

"You sound disappointed, Mikey," said a very familiar voice, making all three turtles whip around.

Raph's heart leaped into his mouth because, kind Fate, there he was. His blue mask was around his eyes, his katana were on his back, and he smiled at them. He was actually smiling.

"Come on, guys. Don't I get a hug?" Leo, their lost, sixteen-year-old brother, held his arms out.

Don's hand snaked out to catch Mikey's arm when he moved forward. "You're a mental projection of your physical self. You're not solid. You're not real."

"This isn't the astral plain, Don. This is my mind, and in here –" he stepped forward; Raph held his breath – "everything is as real as I want it to be." He gently touched Donatello's shoulder. "Mind over matter, bro. You should know that better than anyone."

Donnie was too busy hugging their brother to notice the jab, and then Mikey squeezed in beside him, weeping openly.

Leo soothed them tenderly. "It's okay, Don. It's okay, Mikey. I'm here. I never left. I'm right here."

Raph suddenly knew why he had been afraid, why his heart hammered in its new place on his tongue: Leo would blame him. Leo was trapped because he had been too stupid to notice the danger. Leo would hate him. Why else had they fought so bitterly with each other? Why else had he lectured him about every messed up mission or patrol or disobeyed order? Why else had he drilled him mercilessly in training other than to see him fail miserably? Leo wouldn't hate him. Leo already hated him, had so for a very long time.

He needed to get out, to get away, but he couldn't pull out of the meditative trance, and then those navy eyes locked onto his. Leaf-green arms slid away from olive- and teal-coloured shoulders. Ninja-silent feet stepped toward him.

"Raph?"

He glanced away but that was all he could do, as he had long since lost the ability to move. He stood stock-still as his brother advanced on him, his eyes gleaming with hatred and disgust, his hands reaching up to grab his katana and…

Gentle hands settled on his shoulders. Calm and wise eyes ducked under his. "Raph?"

His whole body trembled. If his brother hated him, fine, but first he had one thing to do and one thing to say. Ninja-fast, he threw his arms around his brother's neck. As sobs erupted from his chest, he managed to gasp out, "I missed ya, Fearless."

"Oh, Raphael." Leo wound his arms over his shell. "I missed you, too."

Make that two things: "I'm sorry."

"This is not your doing," his big brother told him firmly, if slightly wetly. "Do you hear me? This is not your fault."

Raph couldn't say anything through the sobs and tears. He buried his beak deeper in the crook of his brother's neck, inhaling the scent of him – chamomile incense, leather and choji oil – and cried harder. He released twenty-four long days of rage, terror, panic and sorrow, and Leo, ever the elder brother, let it all fall onto his shoulders.

"Easy, Raph," his brother consoled as he stroked his head and shell. "You're all right. It's going to be all right. I'm here. Shh. I'm here."

Relief – his brother didn't hate him! – made Raph's knees tremble, and Leo caught on, gently sliding to the floor with him. Warm bodies beside him and kind hands on his shell and shoulder told him Don and Mikey joined the pileup. Raph moved his right arm to encircle Mikey who wiggled closer, and felt Don wrap an arm over his shell, his other brushing his left which was still around Leo.

"My little brothers," Leo crooned. "My wonderful, strong, little brothers."

It was several minutes before Raph's tears ran dry and he finally pulled away a fraction to look his eldest brother in the face. Cheeks were tear-stained, eyes were swollen but he was smiling.

Then Leo's smile faded. "Father?" he asked quietly.

"He's keeping an eye on you, er, toddler Leo while we're here," answered Donnie, also lowering his arms and sitting back on his heels. "We're heading to the farmhouse first thing tomorrow. Casey's driving us and getting supplies so he's out right now. That left Sensei to watch you. You're rather rambunctious when you're bored," he added with a chuckle.

But Leo didn't smile. Raph watched as his brother eyed the brick wall behind them with distaste.

"You hate him, don't you?" Mikey whispered.

"It's hard not to," Leo bit out. The poison in his voice alarmed them.

"He's just a kid, Leo," said Raph.

"Don't care. When he's the one who fights me and builds brick walls in my mind to keep me out and away, I can hate him all I want."

"He's also you," Don put in quietly.

Navy eyes flashed as he spoke, though slightly less growly, "He is not me. We might share the same body but we are separate personalities and separate beings."

"Sensei doesn't think so," said Mikey. "He'd know, right? I mean, he's seen all this before so he'd know that little Leo now is what you were before, right?"

Leo sighed and eased his legs into a cross-legged position. Raph followed suit but stayed close, not even a foot of space separating them. The sudden change in Leo's behaviour was frightening. From angry to resentful to despairing, it was a sharp downhill of emotion that Raph had no idea how to alleviate.

But he had to try.

"Hey," Raph urged, rapping his brother on the knee. "We might not know what exactly is happenin' here or how ta fix it but fix it we will. C'mon, Fearless, where's that stubborn, hoorah attitude of yers?"

His brother looked down at his hands clasped loosely in his lap. "I think it died, Raph," he mumbled. "It's…hard to stay positive when your own body doesn't accept you and when the only other person you can communicate with hates your guts."

"The kid doesn't hate you! Does he?" Mikey ducked his head to try to catch Leo's gaze, and Raph's heart sank when it didn't work.

"I'm sure he does. It's not like I help. I send him memories when he's dreaming. I can do that, at least."

"What kind of memories?" Don asked slowly.

Leo shrugged. "Just random bits of my life, showing him that he has absolutely no clue what we've been through as a family." He snorted derisively. "He's adamant that you're his family when he's dead wrong."

Raphael frowned. "That's kind of harsh, ain't it? I mean, he is you which means that he's our brother, too."

"Don't patronize me, Raph," grumbled Leo. "I tried to compromise with him in the beginning. I tried to help him but then he got spooked by a nightmare – an honest to Fate nightmare! – and it went downhill from there! He thinks I'm his enemy. He thinks I'm here to hurt you! He has no recollection of anything before I got hit by that gun so how can he understand that I was here first? That I have sixteen years of living and _breathing_ you guys when he's had…" He stopped suddenly and something shifted in his eyes, tightening his mouth and pulling his brow together. "I don't even know what day it is, how long it's been."

Raph's heart seized, his whole body going taut.

"It's still July. It's the twenty-ninth," Don offered, his voice solemn.

Leo's head snapped up to stare at Donnie. "Twenty-three days?" he whispered.

"Twenty-four if you count the night it happened," the purple-masked genius answered sadly.

Raph could only watch as his brother dropped his head into his hands. "Almost a month. A whole month," he rasped.

Mikey took his shoulder. "Hey, now," he soothed. "It hasn't been so bad. I mean, the first bit of it was rough but we're getting used to it. And now that we've found you, bro, we're gonna have this whole thing fixed, especially since we just found out that the gun's actually magical."

"Wait, what?" Leo's hands fell into his lap. He stared at Mikey. "What did you say?"

Raph was glad that his little brother's bubbly attitude wasn't diminished as he said, "This whole thing is some weird, voodoo, hocus-pocus. Sensei even gave Don a book about it."

" _Magic and the Mystical_ ," Leo breathed.

"You know it?" demanded Donnie, eyes wide and aghast.

Leo nodded slowly. "I…found it in Father's room years ago while I was supposed to be meditating."

Raph chuckled at that. Fearless hadn't wanted to meditate? And pigs flew.

The chuckle brought a wry smile to his elder brother's mouth and he gave a half-shrug. "It was just sitting on the shelf and it looked interesting. I sneaked it out, read what I could and returned it. I read the whole thing in two days but I kept going back to it." He met Donnie's eyes firmly. "I made notes – not in the book, in the journal in my desk, top left drawer. I also translated all the Japanese notes in the margins. Whoever gave Sensei the book knew his stuff. They're filled with additional information that, honestly, took me months to find the English equivalent for."

Raph grimaced. While he and his brothers were more or less fluent in speaking Japanese, he knew even Don had a hard time reading and writing the language. It was those darn symbols. If only it had an alphabet…

Leo was still talking: "If this really is a magic spell, then there should be something on page two hundred and ninety-two about regressive aging. Personality splitting's on page three-two-six," he added as an afterthought.

Raph stared at his brother. "Did ya memorize the whole thing?" he demanded.

Leo laughed softly. "If Mikey can memorize entire movies, line for line, after only watching them twice then I can memorize a four-hundred-and-thirty-nine page text over the course of six years."

"There are actually four hundred and _forty-two_ pages," Don corrected, unable to help himself.

Leo lifted a brow ridge. "Seriously? You're counting the dedication and acknowledgement pages?"

"Oh my gosh," Mikey exhaled, rolling his eyes mockingly. "Now I know what two Donnies look like."

"Shut up, Mikey!" rebuked the two eldest turtles but the smiles were on their faces, and Mikey was grinning and so was Raph, and, for a moment, the world was perfect again.

Then the moment ended when Leo's head whipped around in sudden alertness. Raph felt his brothers stiffen in reaction.

"Leo?" Mikey asked tentatively.

Leo opened his mouth to say who knew what when the brick wall behind Raph blew down in a shower of shattered mortar and clay, and _something_ hit them. It was a ferocious gust of wind but it had all the strength of being body-checked by a Triceraton.

"GO AWAY!" Toddler Leo's disembodied screamed at them, his voice a painful echo of sound that had all three younger turtles covering their ears.

Leo was on his feet in one, swift movement. "Stop it!" he commanded.

"MINE, MINE! GO AWAY!"

"I'm not going anywhere!"

Another unseen blow, and Raph caught Mikey as he collapsed. "Mikey! Mikey, can ya hear me?" Don scrambled to his side to check over their little brother. "Leo, what the shell is goin' on!?"

But Leo either couldn't hear him over the toddler's screams or he ignored him. Raph distinctly acknowledged that his brother didn't draw his katana but his hands were fierce fists at his sides.

"MINE!" the child screamed again.

"They're not yours and you're hurting them!" Leo shot back at the disintegrated wall. "Stop hurting them!"

The beige-coloured world around them blurred as it tinged red and the air thickened so quickly that Raph half-wondered if the oxygen already in his lungs would solidify and kill him – or at least destroy his mental form.

"Don!" he managed to gasp. "We need to get outta here!"

His brother's chocolate eyes were wild with fear and panic as he replied just as heavily, "I can't break the connection. It's Leo – it's the kid – he's actually _holding_ us here."

"How is it possible for someone to be that strong?" Raph shouted over both Leos' continued yells, even as he curled himself around his baby brother to protect him from another assault.

"It's his potential, it has to be! We're being attacked by literally a thousand versions of what Leo can be!"

"And how does that help us escape?"

His brother hesitated for a heartbeat before saying, "Hang on for thirty more seconds." Then he closed his eyes.

Raph couldn't help but count under his breath, clutching Mike and watching Fearless who suddenly appeared blurry as he did…something. The air around him shimmered with haze and Raph could have sworn that what normally would have counted as his shadow around his feet swept behind his brother then came up and over his shell and head, expanding outward like an eagle about to take flight.

"I said, stop hurting them." He heard the whisper. Everyone heard the whisper. Over the roar of Triceraton-weighted blows, Leo's voice permeated every particle of the place. It _was_ every particle. Raph felt his brother's mental strength seep through his core and into his bones, into his very soul.

The gusts died down to weak tugs. "Mine," toddler Leo moaned. "My brothers. Mine."

"No." The air rumbled with Leo's reply and Raph felt a sudden yank around his middle. "They're mine."

It was the last thing he heard and then he was falling, beige dissolving into darkness. He landed with a hard jerk but there was no pain in his leg or shell. What was happening? Something soft brushed his forehead and he forced his eyes open.

"Sensei?" he garbled at the smeary, grey and brown form of the rat.

"Stay down, Raphael," Splinter urged with a gentle but firm hand on his plastron.

Raph had no problem complying; all his limbs were heavy and weak, and his head was stuffy. His vision still had yet to clear. "How'd we get back?"

"Donatello reached for me and I pulled you out."

"Mikey…"

"Is all right," his father assured him. "He took the brunt of a heavy mental attack but he will wake in the next few minutes. Donatello, too, will be fine when he wakes. You're the first up."

Raph nodded weakly but then a small smile pulled his mouth up. "Dad, we did it. We found Leo. He's here. He's really here."

Splinter bowed his head for a moment and something glistened off a whisker in the dim candlelight. "I am glad, my son," he said. "That is good news. That means there is still hope."

-:-

Please review. Also, since people are asking, I will tell you here (instead of answering individual reviews) that I update pretty much every Sunday without fail, and most Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sorry this one's a little late. I had trouble pinning it down.

Also, the next person to review will be number 100! Thanks again, you guys! You're still the best!


	33. Chapter 33

Congratulations to **Ariana Gorman** for being the one hundredth review! Thank you! I honestly didn't really think of it as a plot twist, probably because I've had the idea of the brick wall in my head for weeks now, but thank you!

 **ThardyTeasy:** That is so kind! Thank you! Do not be afraid to finish! I was, at first, but the way this fic is going, I'm confident of a happy ending. I'll be a little sad when it's over, though. It's been a thrill writing for you!

 **hi09:** As it turns out, with the way I've established Leo's predicament, we'll definitely see a lot more of him. ;)

 **2ndGenGeek:** It's a bad turn-out, I'll give them that. I'll explain further in future chapters the whys and wherefores of the Leo-Leo show-down.

 **AlessandraDC:** I was actually surprised it turned out that way, too. Originally, the wall was merely a side-effect of the gun (and it is still, sort of), but toddler Leo has added his own mental strength to it, further inhibiting Leo from taking control. As far as the beige world of Leo's mind goes, I honestly didn't think too much on it, mostly because I was in a rush to post the chapter. I can explain here but I'll incorporate it into a future chapter: Leo doesn't really know what to do with his mind. To him, he feels like a guest in it because he's not used to being there. Astral plain excursions are more his thing, and he's never really bothered before to venture into his own mind. He's reflective, sure, pondering and being wise and all that, but his mind is currently blank because he doesn't know that he can actually do something with it. Does that make sense? Also, he's kind of depressed so it stands to reason that, even if he did know he could do something with the decor, he wouldn't bother. On a happier note, we're all looking forward to some farm time! I've no idea how long the guys will be there for but I plan on it being an extended vacation. :)

 **Leeannardo11:** I'm glad they were happy tears! To correct you, the wall is actually two-way. More on that later. ;)

 **flikaroo:** *banshee-like shriek of indignation* How can you not like the tot Leo!? He's adorable and funny and inquisitive and loving! He would do anything for his big brothers. He's a little misdirected, granted, but still... I am determined to win you over, my dear flikaroo! :)

 **Guest:** Poor everybody!

 **Rain in the Dark:** Allow me to clarify since I realized my error as soon as you pointed it out, and I'm sorry that I didn't include it in the chapter: Toddler Leo relies on Leo for nothing. Leo himself is able to see, hear, feel, touch and taste what toddler Leo does at any time of the older Leo's choosing. That is how he knows when his brothers are in need of his help. However, that being said, Leo can't find it in himself to be a constant witness to his brothers playing with and enjoying little Leo's company (he was definitely more present during the first week of being de-aged, when everyone was still freaking out) so he meditates a lot. Like _a lot_. Time also doesn't really exist in the mind so when Leo thinks he's meditated for a couple "hours", it's really been a couple days. Having said _that_ , remember, this is Leonardo. He's a trained ninja and the eldest brother of four. He's bound to have a "Spidey-sense" if you will. I can safely say that what happened when Raph fell is that he was meditating when he felt both his brother's and little Leo's sudden terror, and responded. Little Leo does not trust Leo at all and he fights him mental tooth and mental nail when Leo actually does take control. The thing is, however mentally strong and capable little Leo is, nothing will stand in the way of Leonardo's desperation to save, help and comfort his brothers. The only downside to this is that it exhausts Leo's mental capacity to both control his body and fight the toddler in his head. You ever try to do something with someone kicking and screaming at you? Not cool, and very hard to do. Still, Leo's the man that can but only when absolute need drives him. I hope that makes sense. I hope to explain further in future chapters the details of the situation so that way there's no confusion. :)

 **WhoAmI659:** Wow, there's actually a lot of hate going around for little Leo! It's kind of sad because I still love the kid. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, though. I really loved writing the scene with Raph and Leo. Poor Raph's been keeping a few things to himself recently and Leo is just right there to take it all, per usual. As for the fight, I really wanted it to be a display of mental will and power rather than physicality. Leo didn't draw his katana for two reasons: the first (and most important) being that he knows that what happens in the mind (and the astral plain, for that matter) can be very real. This is not in reference to "Black Eyes", just so we're clear! If he kills little Leo's mind, he's afraid of what the consequences will be - will the body die? Will he die, too? Second: little Leo is three years old. He is a child and as such, Leo is aware of how emotional the child is and can be when things don't go his way. Just because the kid is throwing a tantrum over not being invited to the reunion next door, it does not qualify for violence, and Leo knows this. He also knows that little Leo is just doing what he can to protect his older brothers from a perceived threat. Do you remember the weird nightmare from Chapter 6? Yeah, that's the one that caused the downturn in their "relationship". It was an honest to goodness nightmare due to little Leo's deep-seeded fear of Leonardo. Little Leo's having it rough, and having a bigger, scarier and deadlier version of himself in his own head is not helping. Hopefully things will be on the up and up sometime soon. Maybe time at the farm will resettle everybody's nerves.

 **Guest:** Pegged. You are now Corny Guest. ;) You really ought to get an account/username so I know which Guest this is because I'm really bad at distinguishing style and vocabulary, and I've got two or three Guests and Anonymous leaving me reviews. :)

Wow. Over a thousand words spent on answering comments. I'm really sorry if readers were excited at seeing a longer chapter - that's my bad! In my defense, clarification was needed.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 33

Let it never be said that Casey Jones didn't have vision when it came to vehicles and home décor. The GMC Topkick C7500 (which was no small truck by any means) he had purchased several months ago had undergone an extensive and, quite frankly, remarkable transformation. Completely made-over, it had a window that opened onto the cab to let in light and fresh air; the trailer's insides had been insulated, dry-walled and painted a neutral cream; the heating and air-conditioning had an extra route into the trailer instead of just the cab; thin but soft carpet covered the floor; dark cabinets filled with everything from medical supplies to non-perishable foods were screwed securely to the walls and bolted to keep their doors from flying open; sleeping bags and heavy blankets were folded neatly in a corner; and a cat carrier (where Klunk currently napped) was hooked against the wall. There was even a basic sound system that channeled the radio!

Mikey was impressed. Scratch that. The whole family was impressed, and more so grateful because trips up to the farmhouse would be not only more bearable but actually comfortable now with light and not-stale air. It was their own, personal RV with their own, personal chauffeur for daytime expeditions. No one looked twice at the diesel truck lumbering up the highway to Northampton. No one could even dream that the large man behind the wheel harboured five mutants in his comfortably kipped-out trailer.

It would have been absolutely perfect with the food and the music and the nests on the floor if not for one thing: Leo. Mikey glanced at the kid surreptitiously over his peanut butter sandwich. Starting since yesterday, after the attack in Leo's mind, the toddler, though not openly antagonistic towards him and his older brothers, had blatantly ignored the three older turtles and was still going strong. It was at the same time hilarious and disturbing, not to mention annoying because Casey could definitely not take care of the kid while driving and Splinter was tiring. There was only so much their aged father could do to keep the child entertained during the three-hour stretch to the farmhouse, especially since he had expressly told the toddler to take only two toys. Leo had chosen Blue and a stuffed panda and, though he held onto both religiously, it was obvious that they were merely comfort toys and not something that he actively played with. It was a gross error on everyone's part, and Mikey half-wished that they had thought to bring a ball or the box of building blocks. Splinter passed the first two hours telling stories, everything from tales of his time as a normal rat in Japan to Disney's best, and everyone listened, including Raph, Mikey was happy to note. It was a mercy Casey had also stocked a cooler with bottled water because the old rat went through two bottles to keep his throat wet. Leo sat in his lap, clutching Blue and Panny the Panda, completely and obnoxiously unaware of the burden he currently was.

Mikey finished his sandwich just as Splinter said "the end" to Cinderella and sighed. "I'm sorry, Leonardo," Sensei said quietly. "I must rest for a while. Play with your brothers." He hoisted the toddler out of his lap and encouraged him towards the three older turtles with a gentle nudge on the shell.

"No," Leo grumbled, pointedly turning his head away. "Bad brothers."

"What did _we_ do?" Raph grumbled out of the corner of his mouth to Mikey.

Mikey shrugged and continued to silently watch the growing tension.

Splinter frowned. "They've done nothing wrong, Leonardo. I'm tired so you must play with someone else. And no," he added swiftly, "Mr. Jones can't play with you."

Leo closed his mouth and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Brothers mean."

"Be that as it may or may not, you will play quietly with them while I take a nap."

To Mikey's amusement, Leo pouted harder but Splinter ignored him, fetched a blanket from the corner and wrapped himself up in it. "Wake me when we arrive, my sons," he requested sleepily, clearly already dropping off.

"Hai, Sensei," Mike and his brothers murmured. Leo glared at them.

Mikey sighed and grabbed Leo gently by an ankle, hauling him across the floor to them. "Don't you dare shout and wake Dad," he warned the toddler with a firm finger in front of his beak. "Look. I don't know what's gotten into you but you've got to stop being angry at us, Leo." His command was met with sullen silence and the nunchuku-wielding turtle exhaled heavily. Trying to perk his voice up, he said, "What did we do to make you angry? Can you tell us? We don't know what we did wrong."

"We didn't do anything wrong!" Don protested quietly but he was silenced by Mikey's hard stare.

"Big Leo," the toddler muttered, and all three brothers stared at him.

"Did he just say his name?" Raph gasped.

Mikey shook his head. "No, he said _Leo's_ name. Go on, little buddy. What about him?"

"He mean and mad and scary."

"I'm sure he doesn't mean to be," Mikey chose to say. "He's kind of scared, too, you know."

Leo looked up at him for a long moment before climbing into his lap. Mikey wrapped him in his arms, and his little head rested against his plastron. "Keep brothers safe," he whispered. "Safe from big Leo."

Orange-, purple-, and red-banded turtles stared at each other. "Didn't Leo say that the kid thought he was the enemy?" Don said, hushed. "That he thinks Leo's going to hurt us or something?"

"Holy cats, you're right!" Mikey exclaimed, remembering just in time to keep his voice down. "That's probably why he attacked yesterday. Leo was with us and the kid thought he'd hurt us."

"Some attack," growled Raph. "He almost killed us all. He needs ta work on his aim."

"He's three. Give him a break. Hey, Leo?" Mikey asked the bundle of angst in his lap. "Can you listen to me for a second?"

"Okay, Mikey." Leo leaned back to watch him curiously.

Mike took a deep breath and prayed to whoever was listening that Leo understood what he was about to say. "Okay. So, um, Big Leo in your head isn't bad. He's good and kind but he's scared right now because of…stuff. Bad stuff happened to him and now he's stuck. Can you help him?"

"Seriously, Mikey?" Raph demanded. "He's a kid. What can he do?"

Don elbowed him into silence and Mikey turned back to his little brother. "You got to be nice to Big Leo. Talk to him, like how you talk to me and Donnie and Raphie."

"Scary," Leo whispered, wide-eyed.

"Yeah, I get that he's scary but remember? I said he was scared, too. When Leo's scared, he does scary things but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be nice to him. We need to be gentle with Leo. Nice and gentle, like with Klunk, okay?"

Leo blinked at him, frowning slightly. Then: "Try?"

Mikey hugged the little turtle. "Yeah, little buddy. You try. It's good to try."

"Okay, Mikey. I try. Gentle to kitty. Gentle to Big Leo." He yawned and snuggled deeper in Mikey's hold. "Sleepy," he confessed in a mumble. "Daddy?"

"No, Leo. Let's let Daddy sleep. You can sleep right here and I'll be right next to you, okay?"

Another yawn as Mike settled the kid in a nest, Blue and Panny tucked around him. "Okay, Mikey. Night-night."

The young turtle stroked the younger turtle's head. "Night-night, Leo."

"Do ya think it'll work, Mike?" asked Raph as Leo's breathing deepened.

"I hope it does," Don put in.

Mikey drew his gaze from the slumbering turtle under his hand to his father in the corner. "I don't think we can afford to not hope," he replied.

-:-:-:-

Donatello's younger brothers quickly followed Leo's example and curled up in blankets and sleeping bags, though Mike made sure there was a barrier of some kind between him and Leo before dropping off. (No one needed a repeat experience of when Leo had slept with Raph.) While his brothers toddled off into Dreamland, Don thought and read at the same time. _I don't think we can afford to not hope._ Mikey's solemn comment was a mantra in his head as he read through his brother's journal. Yes, Don had taken Leo at his word and snatched the leather-bound book out of the top left drawer of the desk in his elder brother's room. With the journal in one hand and _Magic and the Mystical_ in the other, he compared the texts side by side. It was amazing the amount of dedication Leo had put into deciphering the Japanese notes but he had had six years to do it, and Don was grateful. Whether Leo ever admitted it or not and however spiritually in tune he was, Leo thought similarly to the genius turtle in that everything, one way or another, could be explained reasonably; and that greatly aided Don's perusal of the massive text. In his brother's neat writing, Don found answers and clarification to seemingly contradictory magical theories. For example, the average charm required a talisman to constantly renew the magic involved whereas a spell required only one use, and only its counter could break or end it. He had pored through the pages of two-hundred-and-ninety-two to three-hundred-and-twenty-six to see if there was any kind of counter-spell for regressive aging and/or personality splitting. If there was one, it wasn't listed but that didn't stop Donnie from continuing to read. With Leo's notes beside him, Don hoped (knew!) that he would find something sooner or later. And as he continued to devour the magical tome, he could sort of, maybe, kind of say that magic was…practically interesting. Maybe.

-:-

Please review.


	34. Chapter 34

**Karlina101:** There's no greater enemy than one's own self. :) We'll see how well little Leo does with big Leo.

 **WhoAmI659:** Big Leo's more than willing to work with the tot, sort of. He was the one to offer compromise and help in the beginning (though we don't know how because he's not the focus). His presumed hatred stems more from frustration and loneliness and those are more easily remedied than hatred. It's little Leo who has to buck up and do something here, if not for his or Leo's sake than for his brothers'. We'll just have to wait and see. :)

 **Scroll Angel:** Thank you! That's most kind of you to say!

 **Corny Guest:** (I feel so bad now, calling you that! Pick something else, if you want; I'll totally roll with it.) I, too, am looking forward to the dialogue between the Leos. I have to figure out how to do it, though, since I had decided very early in this story to not write from either of their perspectives; it would give too much away, otherwise. But I will think on it. I might just have to break my rule and just go with it. We'll see. Little Leo is absolutely scared, and he's scared for a good many, sound reasons, not the least of which is the deadly ninja residing on the other side of a brick wall in his head. Fun times. Still, though, in my heart of hearts, I want little Leo to be brave but that might be some time in coming. Mikey is certainly wising up here. He's actually thinking now and not just going with the flow. I will do my absolute best to elongate the chapters. I feel like I've been dragging my feet a bit recently with what's happening, giving you guys short chapters. I have a few things I want to happen at the farm, some of it fluff and some of it action. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 34

Last year, April and Casey and a bunch of Casey's relatives whom none of the turtles had met had pooled together to commission a road crew to pave the driveway leading off the highway to Grandma Jones' house. A good thing, too, since Raph was absolutely positive that the truck couldn't have safely navigated the twisting, off-road path. A few trees along either side had been removed to make way for the asphalt so only the tips of branches squealed against the metal siding, but there were no teeth-rattling bumps, hitches and jolts. It was as smooth as cruise control (not that Case used it now because of the winding road), and Raph was glad that both Sensei and Leo slept until the very moment when Don and Mikey woke them gently just as they pulled up alongside the house.

Casey threw back the window to holler, "Last stop! Everybody out!"

"Thank Fate," Raph distinctly heard Splinter hiss as he scrambled out the trailer door and into the house without so much as a glance at them.

Then Raph remembered that Master Splinter had drunk two full bottles of water and immediately cut off that train of thought. "Need help with that, Don?" he asked, turning to assist his brother with the iron-lined fish tank that held the gun. Yeah, Don had brought the gun and the magic book and Leo's journal. That was not including his personal duffel which contained various gizmos in various stages of completeness. That was also not including his other, more personal duffel which held more advanced medical supplies than those in the trailer's cupboards, several tools for tinkering, a couple of texts about whatever Don found interesting at that point in time, and other odds and sods.

Don regarded him dubiously. "I'm not giving you anything. Take your crutch and hobble into the house."

Raph scowled. "Ya don't hafta be rude about it," he grumbled.

His elder brother matched his expression. "I'm not being rude. I'm being your doctor."

"At least let me take somethin'!"

Don huffed and held out the two books. "Take them straight to my room and make sure the door's locked behind you. Leo mustn't touch any of this."

"Yep. Got it, bro." He stumbled gracelessly down out of the trailer and almost ran into Mikey who hovered nervously beside Leo. "Whoa, guys! Ya can't stop in the middle like that! Mikey?"

Mikey glanced over his shoulder at him before his eyes fell on Leo. The tot stood as if in a trance, staring wide-eyed at the house that had been substantially fixed up over the years.

"Hey, little buddy," Mike said hesitantly. "What's the matter?"

Very slowly, Leo reached a trembling hand over his left shoulder and touched the unharmed top left scute on his shell. Raph almost dropped the books. The last time they'd been here was when they'd defeated Shredder, aka Ch'rell the Evil Utrom Scumbag, and had almost died. Seriously injured, they had retreated here to recover. Their injuries had been extensive: broken legs, broken ribs, concussions, contusions, burns, dislocated shoulders…and stab wounds. Karai had stabbed Leo through the shoulder. The sword had gone right through him, and the Utroms hadn't disclosed the fact until much later that they had only just managed to save Leo from an infected shell by removing the destroyed scute [1].

 _Does he know?_ Raph thought wildly, meeting Mikey's alarmed gaze. _Leo said he shared memories with the toddler. Did he purposefully show the kid how injured he was?_

He really, really hoped his brother wasn't as calloused and as cruel as that. But it was hard to ignore the fact that, somehow, the kid knew _something_ bad had happened here.

Mikey took the kid's hand. "Come on, Leo. Let's go inside," he urged. "I'm right here with you. Come on."

Leo was silent as he walked forward, hand-in-hand with the orange-masked ninja, and Raph followed them into the house, his tongue quiet but his thoughts in an uproar he wasn't sure how to quell.

It took Raph a few minutes to hobble up the stairs, stow the books in Don's room and hobble back down. His skewered leg burned from the use but his pride refused to let him sit out as his family unpacked.

Thank heaven for Mikey.

"Here, Raph," he said as he figuratively shoved Leo onto him. "Take him into the yard. You both could do with some vitamin D. Yell if you need anything."

Before Raph could so much as protest (they did need help to ferry all the supplies inside), his brother disappeared out the door to help Don, Casey and Splinter. He looked down at the toddler who stood beside him. Was it just him or did he look as nervous as he felt? It was the first time he could remember that Leo didn't automatically reach for his hand. Was the kid still upset with them? With him?

Holding out his left, he tried a smile. "Come on, Leo. Let's go sit in the sunshine."

It was a moment before he spoke. "Bak?" Leo asked.

"Back? No, Leo, we're not goin' back home just yet."

Leo frowned. "Bak, Raphie! Bak in sunny-sun!"

Bak? What on Earth… Bask. Bask in the sun. "Yes, little buddy. We're gonna bask in the sunshine."

The smile he received! There it was, that happy, innocent smile. "Bak, Raphie! Bak with me!" He tugged on his hand, surging forward.

"Not too fast, little bro," he said with a smile as he tried to keep up with the toddler.

Leo didn't seem to hear him but the happy pull was not unpleasant as he stumped out the door and onto the July-warmed grass. It was the first time Leo had been outside in daylight, his first time outside, period. Three-and-a-half weeks indoors would have been hard on anybody but for some reason, Leo hadn't minded. Now, though, lying on his stomach, one hand curled around Blue, he was completely out in a sunshine-induced stupor that had taken all of two minutes to kick in. Basking was plenty different from sleeping, and so Raph knew he was safe from Leo's dreams as he lay down beside him.

 _Just for a few minutes,_ he told himself. _Just until the guys are finished unloading._

It was the cool wind of dusk and Don's gentle hands that roused him, and looking over at Leo, he found the toddler wrapped up in Mikey's arms, looking as spaced-out as he felt.

"Come on, you two," Don said, smiling. "Supper's underway."

"Hungry," Leo agreed drowsily.

"All right, little bro. Let's get you something to eat." Mikey bore him away, and Raph caught the toddler already half-asleep on his shoulder.

"He's gonna sleep well tonight," he said as he got to his feet and followed Don into the house.

"I think we all will," his elder brother replied. "Your stuff is in your room if you want to unpack before supper."

"I'm not climbin' more of those stairs until I absolutely hafta," Raph retorted.

"How is your leg?" His brother glanced sidelong at him.

He lifted his left shoulder, the one not propped by the crutch. "It got shish-kabob'd."

Donnie chuckled. "Fair enough. Sit there and I'll get you some more meds."

Ah, good, more drugs. Raph slid onto the couch, setting the crutch on the floor, and punched the pillow behind his head into a more comfortable position. Don came bustling in with a glass and medication which Raphael took obediently. Done, he rested his head back, closed his eyes and listened to his family putter around the kitchen. It was nice to hear the light-heartedness of his brothers and Casey once more while Sensei added quiet commentary now and then. The smell of Mikey's famous honey-garlic chicken wings permeated through the house and it lulled his senses, allowing him to drift in that pleasant place between sleep and wakefulness.

 _How was the drive up?_

Raph sat bolt upright and winced as his leg gave a painful twitch. "Leo?" he whispered, not wanting to attract his family's attention.

There was no answer and he lay back, closing his eyes once more. Despite trying to slip back into the half-meditative trance, his heart hammered against his ribs and it was another several minutes before he heard that beloved voice again.

 _Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you._

 _How can I hear you?_ Raph demanded, amazed.

 _You're meditating, sort of. I'm also reaching out for you in my own meditation. I've been trying all day but I guess you have to be meditating, too, to hear me. How was the drive?_

 _Fine, I guess. Little Leo was mad at us for what happened yesterday._

The bitterness in Leo's voice was evident as he said, _Yeah, I know. He wasn't exactly happy to find you consorting with the enemy._

 _Mikey talked ta him,_ Raph put in quickly, hoping to cheer him up. _We're tryin' ta get him ta be nice ta ya._

Leo snorted. _Good luck with that!_

 _Hey! We're doin' the best we can from this end. The least ya can do is be a little more understandin'._ Raph winced at his classic, heated reply. He really needed to keep a lid on it. _Sorry. I didn't mean it like that,_ he muttered. _  
_

There was a long pause before Leo said very quietly, _I never did ask how you were… You fell yesterday…_

 _I'm fine_ was the stubborn turtle's standard reply. _Really, bro, I'm healin' well enough. Don fixed me up. I just hafta take it easy fer a bit._

 _You? Take it easy?_ Raph could hear the smile in Leo's voice and smiled himself.

 _I know, I know. Worst patient ever._

 _Like_ ever, his brother agreed with a soft chortle. _No wonder you guys left the city. You'd be out on patrol tomorrow by your idea of healing._

 _It's not like we've been patrollin' these last few weeks,_ Raph pointed out humorously. _We've had other things ta worry about._

The answering beat of dead silence made him worry. _Leo? Ya still there?_

 _You…haven't been…patrolling? Because of me?_

Oops. _Now listen here, Fearless,_ Raph started firmly, _even if we could've gone out, we would've been a mess. We depend on ya fer plans and orders, and none of us want to take yer place. Who would watch our backs when we got inta tangles with the Foot or the Dragons? We need our fourth, bro. We'd need our leader if we wanted ta patrol._

 _That's…that's no excuse._ Why did Leo sound like he had a sudden head cold? _People out there need our help. Innocent people, Raph. You can't turn your back on them when they need your help._

Our _help,_ Raph corrected. _They need_ us, _Leo. Us. Us as four, as a team. And it's all or nothin'. It's a good enough excuse that even Sensei hasn't said anythin'. Never once has he said a word about us goin' topside, and I think it's because he needs us, too. He's_ old, _Leo. He can't handle the kid by himself. The kid would be bad enough but, bro, it's you. I mean, it's not you. It's this, it's the situation. It's the magic that's gotten ya into this mess. It's freakin' us out and drainin' us dry because we're still no closer to fixin' it!_

Raph scrambled to come up with something to somehow explain to his big brother… _Sometimes, bro, we gotta look after ourselves first. I mean, if we don't do that, then how can we help others?_

"Raph, supper's up!" Mikey called.

Raph listened for a reply but didn't get one. _Leo?_ he ventured.

 _Go eat, Raphael. I will be here if you want to talk._ There was no anger in his voice but there was defeat. Defeat and sadness and longing but he still tried for humour when he added, _And would you mind trying to hold the kid back from dumping ketchup on everything? It's grossing me out._

Raph chuckled. _No promises, bro. Talk ta ya later, 'kay?_

 _Not too much later,_ he thought he heard him say as he opened his eyes.

Raph sat up slowly, reached down for his crutch, hauled his body upright and stumped toward the table. It was not his imagination when he spotted Sensei fixing him with a solemn stare; the old rat gave a tiny nod and his eyes flicked to Leo who swung his feet animatedly as he sat in the high chair, and back to Raph. The red-banded turtle sighed and nodded himself, taking a chair beside the turtle tot and moving the ketchup bottle out of his reach.

"Keptchy! Keptchy!" Leo demanded cheerfully, his hands grabbing toward the bottle.

"Eat that first, Leo," Raph said quietly, very aware of his brothers staring at him. "Then I'll give ya a bit. I'll tell ya guys later," he added to his family. "Just…hold off on givin' him ketchup for a while."

Don frowned, confused, but Mikey's eyes saddened as he inevitably understood. Casey ignored the whole exchange with a hearty, "Mikey, man, ya need to come over and cook at my house!"

"We are at your house!" Mikey replied, and Raph saw the fake smile his little brother plastered across his face.

He sighed. And here he thought they'd come here for some rest and relaxation. He should have known that just because they weren't at home, didn't mean that they weren't still chest-deep in…what had Mikey called it? This load of suck.

Still, a change of scenery was bound to offer some kind of reprieve for them all. After all, fresh air and sunshine did work wonders. Raph smiled as he thought about taking Leo out into the woods and playing in the stream that ran close by. What Leo might or might not know about the farmhouse and being here in what quite literally was another life, it was still technically his first time here. Raph was determined to make this vacation a good one, for however long it lasted.

"Raph, are ya gonna eat or what?" Casey asked, cutting into his reverie. "That chicken's gettin' cold, ya know."

Raph smirked at his friend before snatching up a wing. There was a reason why Mikey was the best chef in the house, and the proof of it was making its eager way from his plate to his stomach. "This is great, Mike," he complimented after emptying his mouth.

There was nothing short of happiness in his heart when he saw his brother smile an actual, honest smile at him.

-:-

[1]. I am aware that this is incorrect. This is not how Leo's shell got scarred. But this is fanfiction. Humour me. Also, since people will probably ask, little Leo isn't scarred in any way because his body has suffered a backwards time-warp. Any boo-boos or wounds that occurred after Leo turned three are simply not there. :)

Please review.


	35. Chapter 35

**flikaroo:** Forgive me for not responding to your review for Chapter 33. Apparently, my computer was dumb and didn't register a new review. :P Hopefully things will smooth out soon. Or maybe things are about to get a little bumpy...

 **Rain in the Dark:** Your points are well made and logical, and definitely made me think on both Leos' characters. I have some things to work on, it seems. :)

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** I'm thrilled you're enjoying it so much! That means a lot. :) Also, the fluff you hope for between the two Leos depends on a very big "if".

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 35

It was the phone that woke Donatello at seven the following morning. Don, who had been up until three reading and re-reading his brother's notebook, almost fell down the stairs in his haste to answer before the shrill ringing woke the rest of the household.

"Lo?" he garbled.

"Raph? Raph, you'll never believe what just happened!" It was April. She sounded far too perky for such an early hour. "You know that bust I was telling Don about? Guess what? I am now officially six hundred and fifty thousand dollars richer! The client bought the bust and it was in such good condition that he threw an extra hundred and fifty grand on top! Tell Casey and the others I'm on my way up! I am taking a vacation! I am so excited! I'll see you guys this afternoon! By the way, I'm stopping off at the mall to pick up some goodies for all of you! Holy cow, I feel like Santa Claus! The _possibilities_!" The line crackled at her shriek and Don jerked the receiver away from his ear, wincing. "See you later, Raph!" And she hung up.

Don stared blearily at the phone in his hand. "Nice talking to you, too, April," he mumbled as he hung up and dragged his shell back up the stairs.

"Hi, Donnie!" another far-too-chip voice greeted him.

"Donatello? Who was on the phone?" said someone else.

Donnie had to blink a few times to clear his vision enough to properly see Splinter standing in the doorway to his room, Leo holding his hand and smiling. It took the genius turtle a moment to scrounge up the vocabulary needed to speak respectfully and coherently to his master and father. "It was April. She sold that pricey bust she had in her shop. She's more than half a million dollars richer. She's on her way up to spend an undisclosed amount of time here."

"Very good." Sensei smiled broadly. He paused and tilted his head, regarding him. "Perhaps you would do well to return to bed? I can manage Leonardo until your brothers awaken."

"Thanks, Sensei." His eyelids already sliding closed, he fumbled into his room and collapsed onto the bed, not even bothering to draw the blanket up. He must have forgotten to close his door but he never heard his father close it; he was unconscious in seconds.

Sleep kept Don wrapped up in a blissful cocoon right up until the moment when Mike burst into his room like hell hounds and the entire Foot Clan chased him. "DONNIE!" his little brother screamed, giving him another reason to reach for the bō staff leaning against the wall. "April's here! April's here and she brought presents! It's like Christmas! Hurry up!" Mikey grabbed his arm and hauled him upright. "Come on, come on!" he urged.

It was only because the clock by his bed read 1:36pm that Don consented to follow his brother out the door, though it did not stop him from wanting to bash him over the head for scaring him so badly.

"Geez, Mikey. Do you knock at all?" he asked as they trouped down the stairs.

"I only knock when it's your lab because the stuff in there can blow me up," the nunchaku-wielding turtle replied happily, grinning like the sun. The grin faded a fraction as he added, "You didn't bring anything that could blow me up, right?"

"Can't remember," he said, rubbing the gunk out of his eyes. "Maybe you should knock to avoid finding out?"

Whatever Mikey was about to say froze on his tongue when the two turtles beheld the living room, and Don stared at the chaos from the safety of the staircase.

Leo was in a right state of ecstasy for two reasons: one, April had arrived; and two, April had brought gifts. The joyous shrieks rang through the house, and Don had to wonder how he hadn't heard any of it. Raph was desperately trying to rein the kid in but the toddler was fast and even though Raph was ninja, there was only so much he could do on a wounded leg. Leo almost bounced off the walls as April opened two – two! – boxes containing colourful, wooden block sets. Don could see the label from where he stood. Each set had five hundred and fifty pieces.

"Thank you, April!" the toddler shouted gratuitously at the top of his lungs.

"I'm not countin' all that so we have it all when we leave," Raph announced firmly as he wilted onto the couch with a grimace. "Case, can ya grab him, please, before he hurts himself?"

While Casey snatched the turtle tot around his middle and plopped down to play with the blocks, April stepped toward Raphael.

"Poor Raph," she cooed in that way all women did around children with boo-boos. "Here, big guy." She handed him a card.

Don had no idea what was in it but it had to be something spectacular because Raph was suddenly grinning and giving their friend a hearty hug. "Yer the best," he said.

April smiled and hugged him back. "So you guys keep telling me. Mikey! Don!" she cried, spotting them on the stairs. "Come on down! I have presents!"

"Ms. O'Neil, you spoil my children." Splinter appeared on scene in the old armchair, with Klunk in his lap, as if he had been there the whole time.

April reddened as she gave Mikey and Don their respective boxes. Don's weighed a freaking tonne and he set it on the floor to open.

"HOLY CATS, APRIL! WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS!?" Don was fairly sure the windows rattled at Mikey's enthusiastic squeal. Looking up, he saw his little brother was now in possession of five first editions of his favourite comic books. Don whistled through his teeth at the sight. He wasn't that kind of nerd, but even he knew first editions were pricey.

The woman full-out smirked at the young turtle. "A woman never reveals her secrets, little kame," she simpered. Then her expectant eyes fell on Don, and she gave him a little nod.

Now he was worried. He was so, very worried as he opened his box. There was just something about women with lots of money that made the skin on the back of his neck crawl. It never boded well…

Scratch that.

He loved women with money.

He loved April with money.

He loved her spoiling his family.

He loved her spoiling him.

Nestled amongst folds of silk (silk!) was a set of works dedicated to some of the greatest scientific minds throughout history: Antoine Laurent Lavoisier, Werner Heisenberg, Paul Dirac, Andreas Vesalius, Enrico Fermi and Karl Friedrich Gauss [1]. They were magnificently bound in red leather, their titles stamped and embossed in gold.

Tears were in his eyes! He sat back on his heels in absolute awe of the treasure in his hands. Never in his entire life had he dreamed of actually holding such books, let alone owning them. His throat barely managed to work around the lump there. "Thank you, April," he whispered.

She met his gaze steadily, one scientific mind to another, and said, "You are welcome, Donatello" with such warmth and fondness that he swore his heart grew a couple sizes.

Then she turned to Splinter. "I spoil everyone in my family, Master Splinter, not just my little brothers. Here." From out of her bag came a short package wrapped in brown paper and twine. Every eye was on the rat as he carefully undid the knots around Klunk (who batted at the wrapping paper), and the paper crinkled as it fluttered to the floor.

"Oh my," Sensei rasped.

Klunk leaped from his lap to attack the paper but no one watched the cat's antics for in Splinter's hands was a beautiful tessen, a Japanese war fan: the spokes were steel and sharpened to deadly points, black silk depicted a silver dragon curled around the yin and yang, and a silver charm with kanji writing hung from the base; Don couldn't tell from here what the charm said.

"This is beautiful, my child. Thank you." Donnie smiled when Sensei graced her with a rare hug.

"Yeah, thanks, April. Thank you, April!" everyone chorused.

They sat around the table for an early-afternoon meal of sandwiches, and everyone was happy and chatting amiably. Reading at the table, Don looked up from Enrico Fermi at the mixed group of mutants and humans and thought, not for the last time, about how lucky he was to have such a family as this one.

-:-:-:-

Splinter watched his five children chase each other around the yard for a moment (Donatello, he knew, sat on the porch swing reading) before turning upstairs to his room. In a newfound habit, he stroked the base of the tessen tucked into his sash. It was a magnificent gift from a magnificent woman of whom he had thought as a daughter for a good while now. April O'Neil was a rare soul, kind, loving, compassionate and understanding; and Casey Jones was very much like her, if a little rougher around the edges. He was fortunate and blessed to have such people in his life and in his sons' lives.

Speaking of his sons…

Closing his bedroom door, he drew the blinds over the still-open window and pulled out his tatami mat, lighting the candles and peppermint incense. It took him less than a minute to fall into his meditative trance and when he reached out, his heart and soul lifted as Leonardo welcomed him with a quiet but loving, "Father."

Splinter opened his eyes onto the dreariest mind he ever hoped to see. There was nothing in his son's mind but a beige expanse and the brick wall. But first things first. "My Leonardo," he said, opening his arms for his son.

His eldest child ran to him, wrapping strong arms around him and burying his face in his shoulder. "I've missed you," he gasped.

"Oh, my son. I have missed you sorely, as well." He stroked the gentle head and scarred shell until both their tears ran dry several minutes later.

Leonardo let him go but stayed close as he gestured to the floor. "Sit with me?"

Splinter smiled. "You need never ask, my son," he said, folding himself to the ground. "Your brothers tell me you are struggling."

The turtle held his gaze for a moment before dropping it to his lap. "Hai, otosan. It's… I can't explain it. This is unlike anything I've had to deal with. I…I don't know what to do. I don't know if there's anything I _can_ do."

"Raphael spoke with you yesterday. He told you of the agreement between the child and your brothers, that he would at least try to not be so antagonistic, yes?"

Leonardo smiled wryly. "How you find out about these things, Sensei... Yes, Raph told me."

"You are skeptical?"

"Let's just say that I know a very different side of that kid than you do," his son said bitterly. "He attacked them, Father. He aimed for me but he's three, and he could have seriously hurt my brothers."

"The child said he was willing to try. Does that count for nothing?" asked Splinter.

His sons' leader shrugged. "If it counts, I don't know what for. He's scared of me, Sensei. What can I do to show him that I won't hurt him? That he doesn't have to keep me trapped in here?"

"Perhaps, you might ease up on the memories you send him?" the old rat advised. "He wakes often in the night, frightened and shaking. There's little any of us can do to comfort him when he knows you're waiting with more terrors from your past."

"They're not all bad memories," Leonardo defended himself, his navy eyes flashing with stubbornness.

"The point is that some of them are," Splinter pointed out. "You say that the child is afraid of you. What have you done to convince him otherwise?"

Leonardo opened his mouth but then quickly closed it. Very much like his younger brother, Donatello, Splinter knew that his eldest son could not argue against sound reasoning. "I'm afraid I haven't done much," he admitted, shame-faced.

"Then perhaps it is time for you, too, to make an attempt," said the rat. "But I did not come to admonish you." He smiled at his growing kame. "How are you?"

Leonardo answered with a small smile of his own. "I'm better now that you know I'm here. It's been difficult. I don't know what to do with myself in here. I meditate for the most part."

Splinter tilted his head to one side, saying, "I think that I can give you a piece of instruction so that you may pass the time more comfortably. This is your mind –" he waved a clawed hand about them – "and as such, you alone have complete control over it. You alone can create and destroy as you see fit."

"I can do that?" Leonardo stared at him.

"Yes, my son. You can and you will, starting now. Consider this an exercise," he added smugly.

His child's smile grew a fraction and he closed his eyes, taking a breath.

It was a moment before the blank, beige floor shifted and shimmered with Leonardo's concentration. Soft carpet erupted like enthusiastic grass, and several feet away on every side, sprang up walls. Facing Splinter was a lovely set of rice paper doors with a suspiciously familiar design. Shelves of books with a few sparse knickknacks fell into place along the walls, a tatami mat unfolded itself in a corner, and a cupboard groaned into existence. A short, wooden cane and various weapons clinked and clunked into place in the racks on the wall opposite the doors. With a quirk of his mouth, Leonardo finished with five candles and a stick of myrrh resin incense which settled between them.

Splinter gazed about at an exact replica of his room back in the sewers in New York. All of his books were here in their precise order. Rising, he crossed to his cupboard and peered inside. All he found were the four bolts of cloth for his sons' ninja masks, nothing else, and he suppressed a smile. For all of Leonardo's skill at observation, he knew nothing about the contents of his personal drawers, and it gave him a burst of pride to know that his son was not a snoop.

"Superbly done, Leonardo," he said, turning back. "You've missed nothing."

"Apparently I have," Leonardo replied, but instead of nodding to the cupboard, he gestured to Splinter's person. "I've never seen that tessen before."

Without hesitation, the old rat pulled the fan from his sash and handed it to Leonardo who took it carefully. "Ms. O'Neil arrived this afternoon. She sold a bust for a fair amount of money and then proceeded to spoil the family. That is her gift to me."

Navy eyes flashed up to his, asking a silent question. In the environment of his own mind, however, the question may as well have been shouted. Splinter inclined his head, and Leonardo unfolded the fan with an expert snap. The black silk gleamed in the candlelight, the silver dragon and yin-yang shimmering, and the steel spokes shone and reflected the flames as dancing spots along the walls.

"It's magnificent." The comment was a quiet breath of awe and reverence, and Splinter felt another surge of pride for being the owner of such a beautiful yet deadly weapon. _Gifted,_ he corrected himself. He was proud of being gifted with such a sign of affection. He watched as Leonardo examined the tessen in absolute detail, much like Donatello did with his projects. Blue-masked eyes widened as they fell on the charm dangling from the base. Gentle fingers held it steady as he read the kanji symbols for otosan – father. Slowly, he folded the fan and handed it back with a bow. Splinter tucked it back into his sash and smiled at him.

About to speak, Leonardo cut him off with a jerk of his head, twisting around to eye the Japanese doors just a second before someone knocked on the wooden frame.

"Daddy? Come in, Daddy, please?"

Splinter gave his eldest child a shocked look - how did the child enter his son's mind? - before sliding back the door. "Hello, Leonardo. Come in."

The toddler traipsed into the room, Blue in hand and completely at ease with being in the room since he had slept here for almost a month. Then he froze when he spotted his older counterpart seated on the floor.

"How about some light?" Splinter suggested, flicking on the light switch. "Leonardo, would you blow out the candles and extinguish the incense, please?"

The older turtle obediently licked his fingers, pinched the flames and set everything out of little Leonardo's reach.

"Come sit with us, Leonardo," the rat encouraged the small child, ushering him forward and thus closer to the blue-banded ninja. "I believe we need to have a talk, the three of us."

Leonardo watched him and the child with slightly narrowed eyes as they sat, the tot climbing into and settling himself in his lap.

Splinter stared him down, said, "Would you like to start?" and waited patiently, running a whisker between two claws.

He was rewarded only a minute later: "I'm sorry," the eldest of the two said quietly, if stiffly. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry."

The child in his lap peered up at the rat expectantly, clearly awaiting instruction on whether or not to accept the apology. Splinter continued cleaning his whiskers.

The toddler shook his head as he looked back warily at the older turtle. "You is scary and big. Keep brothers safe."

"You don't have to protect them from me," was the smooth and controlled reply. "I'll never hurt them. Do you understand? Never. I won't hurt them and I won't hurt you." Navy eyes lifted to his own but Splinter refused to intervene. This was something the two of them had to do on their own. He would be a witness only, and perhaps soothe any tempers that might flare. Desperation fell into those clear, dark blue eyes as they returned to the child. "Please. Do you understand?"

It was a long moment until little Leonardo spoke, "I un'stand, Big Leo. Promise?"

"I promise."

"There must be something for you to do in return, Leonardo," Splinter informed the tot. "Leonardo made a promise, now you have to promise something, too. That's how it works. What can you give him?"

Leonardo pouted in his lap and crossed his little arms over his plastron. He would have looked comical if the situation were different. The older turtle and the rat waited silently, not giving the child leeway. At last, he sighed. "No fight?" he offered with a hint of irritation.

Leonardo nodded. "No fighting," he agreed. "Promise?"

"I promise."

Splinter kissed the top of the little turtle's head. "Very good, my son. Can you go off and play now while Leonardo and I talk?"

"Okay, Daddy. Bye, Big Leo."

"Bye, Little Leo," Leonardo whispered as the child ran out the door. "Well," he said when he was gone, "that wasn't so bad."

"You would be surprised at how willing you can be when the correct pressure is applied," Splinter answered.

"Are you talking about me or him?"

"Both." Splinter lifted his brows. "Don't tell me you think you're separate?"

Leonardo shrugged. "Maybe it's just easier for me to accept this whole situation if I think we're not the same? I know _he_ thinks we're separate," he added slightly defensively.

"It does not matter what he thinks," Splinter chastised gently. "You are the eldest and should know better, and you should also help him to know better."

Leonardo bowed his head in both obedience and shame. "Hai, Sensei. I'll…I'll try."

Splinter inclined his head. That was all he ever asked. "I am curious, though. How is it that the young child got in here?"

Leonardo lifted his shoulders and said, "His is the stronger mentality. He comes and goes as he pleases through the wall he enforced. During the fight yesterday, Don said something about his potential, about how he's a thousand versions of what he can be."

"Ah, your brother is not wrong," mused the rat, stroking his chin. "Young children are so moldable. They are influenced by everything and everyone around them. Who they can be is decided upon the most minuscule, as well as monumental, decisions they make, and such decisions channel them, narrow them down. Young Leonardo still has yet to make all the choices to get him to the point you are at, my son, and that makes him both a wonder and a danger - especially to you. You must guard yourself against him or risk losing yourself to him. Though you are not separate beings, allowing him to consume your mind and soul before we can reverse the spell will be detrimental to us all."

Splinter stood and walked to him, knelt down and took him once more in his arms. Kissing the top of his head, he murmured, "He is strong but so are you and in more ways than one, my son. I know we can overcome this. One way or another, we will."

His child's strong arms wound around him and he felt his beak burrow into his fur. " _I hope you are right, otosan,_ " he said in tearful Japanese.

-:-

[1] Antoine Laurent Lavoisier: The Revolution in Chemistry; Werner Heisenberg: Quantum Theory; Paul Dirac: Quantum Electrodynamics; Andreas Vesalius: The New Anatomy; Enrico Fermi: Atomic Physics; Karl Friedrich Gauss: Mathematical Genius. All listed in _The Scientific 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Scientists, Past and Present_ by John Galbraith Simmons.

Please review. Also, I'm going to reduce my updates from thrice weekly to twice: Sundays and Thursdays. I need to get ahead of the curve and I can't do that when I have to write three chapters a week. Just as a head's up! Sundays and Thursdays! Uh...Canada's Sundays and Thursdays, since I know a lot of you are ahead of me time-zone-wise. :)


	36. Chapter 36

**AlessandraDC:** When I wrote the chapter, I actually had no idea what April gave Raphael. After thinking about it, I've decided (though I will change it if you have any suggestions!) that it's subscriptions to his two favourite motorcycle and Fight! magazines for the next thirty years. He's not a complicated guy. Indeed, the concept of Little Leo growing up and making his own choices is far beyond what this story will do and where it will go. *Spoiler alert!* But that's all I'm saying since I don't want to give away anything. :) That's an interesting point about the two Leos. We'll just have to see...

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** I am so glad you thought this chapter was so great! I honestly didn't think much of it, but I'm happy you liked it. April loves her mutant family members and she definitely loves spoiling them when she can. I figured I'd keep my 'no Leo perspectives' rule for the time being, and having Splinter there just seemed so natural. Of course, like any three-year-old, Little Leo just so happened to barge into what was supposed to be a one-on-one between father and son, but it did all work out for the better - at least so far. If Leo is anything, he's a quick learner. Let's just say that when the guys step into his mind next time (right now), they're going to be one, surprised; and two, very impressed. Thank you for the compliment on my updating ability. I, too, have several fics I follow that haven't been updates in weeks, a couple of them months. And while I can be a very patient person, I do tend to get a little disappointed when no new chapters are posted. That isn't to say that I'm not aware that everyone has lives (school, work, family, friends, other hobbies, etc.). I'm just trying to get this story out; otherwise I lose interest myself. And that's not cool for you guys who have stuck with me for so long. :)

 **Rain in the Dark:** Concerning, indeed. This is mostly because Little Leo doesn't have mental restraint; he's kind of rampant. But Leo's strong, too, so he's got some guards to construct. I would draw so much fanart if I could draw at all! That's kind that you'd want to. Maybe talk to AlessandraDC about it? That note on April giving Leo something is an excellent point. I'll have to remember it. If all works out well, that is ;)

 **Author's Note:** The places in the following chapter (ie. Libby, Bruce Carson Dam) do not exist in Northampton to my knowledge. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 36

"Do you really think he'll keep his promise?"

Mikey watched Leo sigh and say, "He's been doing okay so far."

The four turtle brothers sat on the couch in the lair's living room in Leo's mind. It had been a pleasant surprise for the younger three to no longer find the blank, beige world but their home instead in absolute and remarkable detail. The only noticeable difference was that the front door was made of red brick instead of stone, and Mikey knew the wall between the two Leos still existed – though apparently for very different reasons now.

"And you're doing okay, too?" Mikey had to ask. One of the first things Splinter had told them after his meditation session with Leo six days ago was that the older Leo was in danger from the younger, not immediate danger but just…at risk. Their elder brother had to protect himself somehow from the child who ran rampant through both their minds; ergo the lair replica because it offered an anchor to the real world and it also gave him something to do. Upon their arrival, they had found him training in the dojo. The sight of twin katana gleaming in his brother's hands had made his breath catch as Leo had worked through a kata with his mask turned sideways to blind him.

Leo smiled at him. "I'm doing just fine," he assured, throwing an arm over his shoulders.

On Mikey's left, Don reached behind him and put a hand on his brother's forearm; Raph, perched on the couch's arm on Leo's right, nudged their brother in the side with a gentle knee. Mikey distinctly heard his eldest brother's sigh and turned into him when he wrapped his other arm around him.

"Really," he said and Mike tried not to cry at the desperation he could feel coming off his brother in waves. "It could be a lot worse and I'm glad it's not. I'm fine."

"It's just not the same without you, bro," murmured Don.

"Yeah, especially since now we know the little punk is really yer warden," Raph bit out.

"I understand. But listen, you guys, you can't hate him because of me. Trust me when I say that I'm working on it too, but he's three. He doesn't know better. Splinter honestly thinks we're the same person and while I don't agree, I can understand his reasoning. For all intents and purposes, he is me. Just…focus on him when he's there."

"So, what? We're just gonna ignore ya?"

"Well, no. Don't do that. Raph…" Mikey looked up to find Leo meeting Raphael's hard, amber gaze. "He needs to be loved, too, you know."

The hardness dissolved. Soft gold looked down at clenched fists. Mike reached across Leo to clasp his brother's calloused hands. "We can do that," he said, trying to bring his best puppy-eyes to the table. "Right, Raphie? If Little Leo is happy then he won't get mad at Leo. We can protect you, too, you know," he added, glancing up at his blue-masked brother. "In our own way. We'll help."

"Mikey's right," Don put in quietly. "We might not be able to fix this right away but we can make it better for everyone involved and that includes you and the toddler. Time is all we need."

Michelangelo knew that the smile flickering on his eldest brother's mouth was fake but at least it was a smile and at least it was an attempt. "Then I have all the time in the world," Leo answered, squeezing his shoulders.

 _Um…guys?_ April's voice wafted through the lair, quiet and hesitant. _We're leaving in two minutes._

Don pulled away reluctantly and vanished to tell April they were coming.

"I'll never get used to that," Leo mumbled. "You guys disappearing into the air like that."

"Hey. It's not like it's permanent," Raph pointed out. "We'll be back soon, Fearless."

"Have fun."

Mikey sat up slowly and met Leo's navy eyes. The turmoil in there was almost tangible. He was trying. He was trying so hard to be kinder to the tot. He was trying so hard to show that it didn't bother him that they played, laughed and had fun with someone who played and laughed back. But Mike could see it.

"You know," he said, waiting for Raph to leave before continuing, "I'm sure no one will mind if you show up…"

Leo shook his head. "That's kind of you, little bro, really, and I would like nothing more than to spend time with you and the family, but I promised. We promised no fighting and that means not taking control. I have to fight my way in for just a handful of seconds. It's brutal and it takes a chunk out of both of us, mentally. No, I'll honour my promise. Maybe I'll watch, though," he added, a twinkle in his eye.

"You can do that?" Mikey gaped. Tickle wars and cuddles ripped through his head, and he felt his cheeks burn.

Leo winked at him. "When I want to. Go. They won't wait forever."

The younger turtle's smile was sad as the lair vanished and he opened his eyes onto Donnie's room. His brothers matched his expression.

When April had announced over breakfast that the temperature would reach a balmy forty-six Celsius, Casey had immediately suggested taking a trip into the valley to the old riverbed. During the spring, there was a river because of the run off Bruce Carson Dam let through, but what with it being the first week of August, the water level was little higher than a good-sized stream. Still though, everyone was up for some fun in the sun, and even Splinter came along. The only one who stayed behind was Klunk who much rather preferred to doze on a sunny patch of carpet than play in water. Mikey rubbed his pet's ears in farewell and scampered out the door with his family.

The walk down to the valley was barely a mile and they had to follow the overgrown path through the woods, but the air was warm despite the mid-morning hour, birds sang in the branches, and the five mutants and two humans laughed at everything and anything, mostly Leo swinging from Raph's hand as the older turtle stumped along on his crutch. His leg was healing well but Don had given him specific instructions to not get it wet.

 _Yeah,_ Mikey thought with a snort. _Like that was going to happen._ Raph was the worst patient on Earth for a reason. Don was lucky that Raph had only _threatened_ to hit him after their elder brother had offered to give him a piggy-back ride for the short hike.

The riverbed was thirty yards from one bank to the other but the stream was little more than ten feet across and came up only to the knee. As soon as he saw the water, Leo let go of Raph's hand and ran, jumping into the gurgling water with a splash and a squeal. Don went in after him while the rest of them set up blankets under the shady trees. Mikey carefully put down the large cooler filled with sandwiches, carrot sticks, water, and a few bags of chips and candies.

No one wanted food, though. With setup completed, the turtles, April and Casey ran for the stream (Mikey duly noted that Raph left his crutch against a tree and tried not to hobble as he ran). Leo laughed and hid behind Don who got the brunt of the resulting splashes.

"Raph, what did I say about getting your leg wet?" Don demanded, making Mike chuckle.

"Aw, come off it, Don!" Mikey would have said Raph whined but the hothead never whined.

"Chase me, chase me!" Leo cut in and then, instead of running, he took to the water that was deep enough for him to swim in.

The three brothers exchanged glances, and it was Raph who said so quietly, "He asked us to."

There was no doubt in anyone's mind to whom 'he' referred and so, with Donnie rolling his eyes, they raced after the tot who had a decent head start. But Mikey was the fastest turtle on land and he pulled ahead, taking the lead, and snatched Leo around the waist, swinging him up and around and sending droplets of water sparkling through the sunlit air. "Gotcha!" he proclaimed.

"Wheeee! Again, again!"

So Mikey flung him in the opposite direction, letting the little feet skim the water's surface to let more liquid crystals fly.

Everyone got wet (except Splinter who sat guard over the cooler to keep inquisitive hands and insects away) but the day quickly turned hot and no one minded. By the time April needed to reapply her sunscreen, it was past lunchtime.

"I'm hungry, I'm hungry!" Leo sang, chip and cheerful, skipping from the stream to plop himself down, still dripping, on the blankets.

"Here, little buddy." Mikey grinned when Raph dumped a towel on the toddler's head and ruffled him gently but effectively. "There ya go. All dry now."

"All dry now!" Leo echoed.

"Here you are, Leonardo." Splinter handed the tot a sandwich which he dug into with a "Thank you, Daddy!"

April smiled as she raided her backpack. "I've got a sippy cup for him," she said and tossed bright blue plastic at Don. "You can throw some water into that so he doesn't make a mess."

Mikey slapped his forehead. "I knew I was forgetting something!"

The redhead grinned at him. "That's why you keep me around," she teased.

"We keep ya 'round 'cause yer awesome," Raph said through a large bite of his sandwich.

"Chew and swallow, Raphael," Splinter scolded. "Though his statement still stands," he added to April and Casey both who smiled.

Conversation wound down with full mouths, Leo happily talking to himself in half-talk, half-babble between bites.

April lay down after that, sprawling on a towel she'd set in the sun. "If I start to burn, wake me," she requested, her eyes already closed. Casey and Don joined her on towels of their own, Don on Casey's other side who almost brushed elbows with the redhead as he began to snore softly.

As Mikey chewed the last of his ham with cheese, a slow smile crept across his face. He leaned back casually, hooking his hands behind his head and resting his carapace against a tree. Raph seemed to think he had the right idea because he curled up in the shade and closed his eyes. Splinter looked like he was meditating but Leo still munched his happy way through a bag of pretzels.

After a few minutes, he caught Leo's eye and held a finger to his lips. Leo smiled and nodded, mirroring the gesture. Mike picked up an empty water bottle, beckoned to him and the tot followed silently across the rocky riverbed to the stream.

"What doing?" he whispered as Mike filled the bottle in the stream.

The orange-masked turtle's smile was purely conspiratorial. "One thing about cooking, little brother, is that you always have to keep an eye on the meat so it doesn't burn." He held up the full bottle. "Time to flip the meat."

When Mikey walked away towards the slumbering trio, he expected Leo to follow him. Instead, the toddler watched him with borderline horror in his eyes. _The Leo in his head might have explained the joke to him,_ he thought as he crept, ninja-silent, across the rocks.

Don cracked an eyelid at him as he neared and groaned, rolling over just in time to avoid getting water dumped on his head and back. Casey awoke with a yell. April shrieked.

"Ding! Time to turn over!" Mikey announced.

"Michelangelo, I'm going to strangle you!" screeched April. She stumbled to her feet, the back of her hair a soppy mess, and lunged at him.

He was too quick for her – there was a reason he was the fastest turtle on land – and danced out of the way. "Ha, ha!" he laughed. "Can't catch a ninja, April!"

"Except maybe another ninja." Raph came out of nowhere to bowl him over and the two rolled into the water, tussling and splashing.

"Get him, Raphie!" Leo called exuberantly, sending up ill-aimed sprays of his own that got both turtles.

"Dude, you traitor!" Mikey complained.

"Hey! Watch it, Leo!" Raph said with a wolfish grin. "You splash me, I splash you back."

Leo smirked and slapped his hands on the surface, splashing again.

"All right," Mikey heard his immediate elder brother snarl. "Change in tactics." He abandoned Mike in the stream and stalked the toddler who squealed and tried to run.

Mikey leaped to his feet in pursuit and both older turtles swiped at the tot. Raph purposefully missed (or maybe he didn't because of his leg) but Mikey scooped him around the waist and twisted sideways to hit the ground, tossing him into the air. "Aha!" he shouted in triumph.

Another toss but Raph snatched him clean out of the air with a growling "Now I gotcha."

"Donnie! Help!" Leo wailed.

Don had retreated from the splashing to Master Splinter's side with one of his new books. "No, thanks, Leo. You got yourself into that mess. I'm not getting you out."

"I'll save ya, Leo!" Casey collided with Raph with a crunch of flesh on shell, and Mikey winced at the sound. _That'll bruise in the morning_ , he thought as he scrambled upright to get out of the way.

He had to admit that Raph did a great job keeping Leo out of the way of Casey's more than half-hearted strikes. With one arm curled around him to keep him steady on his hip and despite being injured, Raphael was a whirlwind of red and green, his amber eyes narrowed to slits as he fended the large human off with one hand. Leo was having fun, squealing with glee at the G-force and Raph's skill.

"Jump in anytime, Mike!" his brother suddenly grumbled.

"Nah, bro. I think you got it," he replied with a lazy grin.

Something soft and slightly damp suddenly slipped around his throat and he yelped as he was pulled back up against a slender frame. Red hair tickled his cheek as April leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Gotcha."

"Yield," Mikey squeaked, raising his hands in surrender.

April laughed softly and kissed his cheek. "Looks like I caught myself a ninja after all."

"A score board somewhere in the Universe just lit up," Don put in dryly. "April: 1. Mikey: 0."

Casey and Raph, who had stilled the moment the towel had slid around Mikey's neck, guffawed. Even Splinter chuckled, clearly not as deep in meditation as everyone had thought. Leo clapped. "Yay, April! Good job, April!"

"Thanks, Little Leo," April simpered as she tugged the towel away.

Mikey rubbed his throat, grateful that his green skin didn't betray his embarrassment too much.

"Well, guys. This has been fun, but I need to head back if we want supper at a decent hour. Come on, Casey."

"Aw, April!" he whined, taking only a half-step toward his girlfriend and away from his best friend.

"Just go, Case," Raph said with a chuckle. "Or the next one she sneaks up on will be you."

"Point taken." Casey grimaced and followed, and Mikey shadowed them to help put stuff away.

"Do we have to leave now, Sensei?" he asked.

"You do not have to, Michelangelo. I will go as the sun has made me sleepy. You are welcome to stay, as long as someone stays with you. I won't have you splitting off on your own."

"I'll stay, Master Splinter," Raph volunteered, Leo still on his hip. "What do ya say, bud? Do ya wanna go home or stay with me and Mike?"

"Stay with you and Mikey!" Leo announced.

"I might as well head back, too," added Don as he closed his book and stood to take the empty cooler from April. "I want to talk to Leo about his notebook, see if he has any more insight."

Mikey noticed when Leo glanced up at his name but it became obvious that he was not the Leo mentioned and he dropped his gaze sadly, curling his hands around Raph's shoulder.

"Play now?" he asked.

"Yes, little buddy. We can play now."

"Be home in time for supper, my sons," Sensei called in farewell, and Mikey and Raph waved to let him know they heard.

Playtime lasted only for another hour before Leo curled up on the warm rocks – to bask or sleep, it was kind of hard to tell.

"Should we head home?" Mikey wondered as he bent to gather up the tiny turtle.

His big brother shook his head. "Leave him be. Actually, I think he has the right idea. There's still one blanket, right? It'll fit us all."

Mikey fetched the lone blanket from its spot under a tree and laid it out. Raph gently settled Leo before sprawling next to him, leaving Mikey only a foot of space on Leo's other side. He poked his brother in the side. "Shove over, you great lump."

"Make me," Raph mumbled, his head already buried in his arms. "If ya disturb Leo, I'll punch ya."

Mikey pulled a face - so much for the blanket fitting them all - and opted for the last bit of blanket rather than face an irate Leo and a fist-happy brother. It wasn't so bad. The rocks under his arm and the right side of his chest were warm and the sun was still high…and the birds were still chirping…

Raucous bird calls sounded through the basking turtles' lulled senses, and all three heads snapped up. Mikey knew from the sun's position that they'd been out of it for at least two hours.

"Birds! Birds!" Leo cried with glee, pointing up at the hundreds of flyers above their heads.

The two older turtles were not so enthusiastic. Sharing glances, Mikey picked up Leo while Raph rolled up the blanket. Mikey couldn't put his finger on it but something was definitely wrong and it was heading their way fast.

-:-:-:-

"There just doesn't seem to be anything in either your notebook or _Magic and the Mystical_ about how to reverse this kind of spell," Don despaired.

He and Leo were in his elder brother's bedroom, sitting on the bed with exact copies of both books open around them.

Leo looked up from turning another page in the notebook. "I know," he answered softly. "I've been looking, too. Maybe there's another book? One that holds counters for the spells listed in here."

Donnie glared. "If there is, I haven't found it! I've been checking online – Amazon, bookstores, even museum archives! Oh, don't give me that look! Their security sucks anyway! But there's nothing! All I keep coming across is the same passage: One to two; two to one. It doesn't make sense!"

"I know, Don," Leo soothed. "I know it doesn't but we can't let that stop us. I can never remember a challenge you've backed down from. If anything, if I recall correctly, the more difficult the problem, the happier you are to work on and solve it."

"None of those problems had to do with dealing with a toddler version of my big brother and having said big brother trapped in his own mind!" Don snapped. He instantly regretted it. The way the words had come out…in response to what Leo had said… Geez, he was an idiot. "Oh, Leo, no," he said hastily, seeing his brother's dead eyes. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean, as much as I love a challenge, this isn't something that I can be happy about. This is about you, Leo. You're stuck here and I can't find a way to help you…"

Leo blinked but he still had that faraway look in his eye.

"Will you listen to me?" Don begged. "I'm trying to apologize here."

"Be quiet." The command was short and clipped but Don ignored it.

"Come on, bro. I didn't mean how I said it –"

"No. Seriously, Don. Be quiet. Something's wrong."

That shut him up. For a moment. "What is it?" he whispered.

"Something's…coming. Why would so many birds take flight?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Birds, Donnie, birds! What would make hundreds of birds fly away in a single direction?"

"Well, lots of things. If it's one species, it's typically just a migrating flock –"

"It's August, Donatello!" Leo reminded him.

"Oh, right. Well, predators for one and disasters for another: storms, fires, things like that."

Leo was silent for five full seconds. Then: "Get out."

"What? Leo, I'm confused. What's going on?"

Leo looked him dead in the eye. It was frightening the amount of fear Don could see there. "Our brothers are in trouble. Go."

It took every ounce of willpower to yank himself out of meditation. It was a hard thing to do and typically required either a sudden noise on reality's end or slow re-emergence. Now was not the time to take his time. Leo and his room vanished, and Don's vision nearly went black as he almost lost consciousness.

 _No. Not right now! Get up, get up!_

He used his hands to push himself onto his feet and staggered to the door just as Casey groaned from downstairs about something interrupting his sports recaps. Don almost fell down the stairs in his haste to catch the announcement.

"We interrupt this program for an important news bulletin. The Bruce Carson Dam has malfunctioned. While the dam has not burst, it appears the floodgates for both spillways malfunctioned. Two billion gallons of water from the reservoir have already swept through the small town of Libby, leaving nothing behind. The map on your screen shows the water's trajectory. All locals in the red zone must evacuate immediately to higher ground."

"Casey! We're in the red zone!" April cried, pointing.

But Don didn't care. They were high enough that the house wouldn't be harmed by the flood waters. His brothers down in the valley and playing in the stream on the other hand…

He moved. The screen door banged behind him as he raced from the house. He couldn't hope to outrun a flood but Bruce Carson was six miles north of here and Libby was five-point-eight miles. He had no idea how fast the water was travelling and he had no idea how long ago the dam had loosed its wave of death but he hoped, he prayed that he could reach his brothers in time. It was with a shock that he realized he wasn't alone: Splinter ran beside him, desperation driving him, driving them both.

They heard it, though they never saw it. A low hum sounded through the air before rapidly augmenting in volume to a full-fledged roar. Birds screamed overhead; deer, raccoons and rabbits fled past them, heading in the opposite direction; but the turtle and the rat, son and father stayed their course.

They covered the one-mile trek in five minutes, barely glancing at the roots and stones that threatened to trip them. Then they came to the old riverbed that was not old anymore. A rage sloughed against both shores, spanning thirty yards. Waves tore at the banks; trees tumbled as their earthy rest was compromised.

There was no sign of them. No sign at all of his brothers.

"RAPH!" Don bellowed. "MIKEY! LEO!" His voice was drowned out by the rushing water's roar. He slid to his knees, his hands pressed to his face. Splinter curled a grieving hand over his shoulder.

"Donnie!?"

Don's head snapped up, Splinter whipped around, and there, stumbling along the crumbling bank, was Raph.

"Raphael! Raph!" they cried in unison, rushing to him.

He didn't look hurt but Don tried to be gentle anyway as he threw himself into his little brother's arms. "Where are they?" he demanded, pulling back.

Tears were in his eyes – why were there tears? If Raph was alive so were Mike and Leo. Right? Sobs ripped from the hothead's throat, thick and mournful: "The bank – the water just tore it away… Mikey and Leo…they're gone."

-:-

Please review.


	37. Chapter 37

**Rain in the Dark:** While any footage of tsunami or floods did not fuel this chapter (I've had it in my head for a while now that some disaster had to happen), I've watched enough disaster-reenacted TV shows and YouTube videos throughout my life to know how it would look like. How it would feel to actually witness it, to hear it and feel it and see it, is something else entirely that I pray I never get the chance to experience. But that's what writers do. They create scenarios and then focus on the emotions of a few. They make it personal. The last half of Chapter 36 and all of Chapter 37 were roller coasters to write, and I won't deny that I was teary at some points just because of the emotion left in the wake of the disaster. It's cruel irony that you just so happened to stumble across the 2011 video only a day before my posting the chapter. As far as things working out...um... I'll get back to you on that...

 **Turtlecrazy714:** 'Wow' is a word I treasure in reviews. Thank you so much. There's a saying that goes along the lines of "Always brightest before the storm", and Chapters 36 and 37 outline it. It's still a sunny day. It's still a beautiful day in August, the height of summer, with family, and fun, birds, and leaves, and sweet-smelling grass and flowers. Then disaster strikes. And it's horrible and awful and everyone's in a panic and fearful but it's still a beautiful day out. Yeah, the fluffy moments between the brothers are still fresh in their minds, and they can't help but hope and pray that they get some kind of closure in whatever form it comes in.

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** (Great username, by the way!) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter so much! I'm a sucker for cliffhangers so there will undoubtedly be more in future chapters. :)

 **2ndGenGeek:** I take it you liked the chapter but didn't enjoy the cliffhanger. Sorry!

 **crazysnowdragon:** Welcome, welcome a hundred times over! New readers are always appreciated! Here's your update!

 **WhoAmI659:** (In response to Chapter 35) I am quite proud of how well that went for Splinter and the two Leos. Agreements were made, hugs exchanged, fluff all around!

 **Author's Note:** All right, guys. It's not Thursday yet, but this chapter's ready for reading! Also, Dooley Bridge does not exist.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 37

Raphael knew that his brother and father didn't understand the words that just came out of his mouth. _The bank – the water just tore it away… Mikey and Leo…they're gone._ He couldn't blame them. He wouldn't have believed it either if he hadn't seen it happen with his own two eyes. But…it was true. Mike and Leo were...gone. Just like that. In a tumble of mud and screams.

"I-I couldn't get them out," he went on, desperately trying to get his words past the sobs in his chest and throat. "I tried ta get ta them but the current… I couldn't keep up. It just swept them away. Leo was screamin'…" He gulped and bowed his head, his whole frame shaking with everything he didn't want to feel – grief, shame, sorrow, regret. "Dad, Donnie, I'm so sorry."

It was several moments before either of them inhaled. Don just leaned into him, and he felt the tears land on his shoulder. Splinter hugged them both. "You did what you could, my son," he whispered, his tone mangled with his own emotions.

Raph just nodded miserably. "Can…can we look fer 'em? I mean…" He trailed off, so uncertain, so unsure. He wanted to make certain. He needed closure.

Don cried harder but Sensei nodded. "We can."

Raph supported his brother carefully with one arm wrapped around his olive, sob-wracked shoulders, as their father took the lead, staying several yards from the dissolving banks. The roar of water made his head ache, and his leg throbbed from running, from trying to reach his brothers...

"I was talking to Leo," Don suddenly said, catching his attention.

Raph blinked. "What? When?"

"I was meditating, we were talking about the book and his notes, and then he went really quiet. When I asked him what was wrong, he asked me what would make hundreds of birds fly off at once."

 _Birds! Birds!_ Leo had cried happily. Raph shut his eyes to drive out the memory.

"I mentioned a couple things but when I said disasters, he just kind of…snapped. He told me you guys were in trouble. 'Our brothers are in trouble.' Fate, Raph, I never pulled out of meditation so hard or so fast in my life."

Raph gently squeezed his brother around the waist. Splinter had warned them multiple times throughout the years to not pull out so quickly; it could have serious, adverse effects: loss of consciousness, dizziness, and nausea. Apparently Don had ignored it all to get to them. He'd run a mile inside of minutes to reach them…

"Donatello! Raphael!" Splinter shouted, abruptly veering away from the river toward the trees.

Raph tried to pick up the pace but his leg gave a painful twinge and he almost buckled. Don caught him carefully. "Easy, Raph. Let's take it easy. Come on."

Now Raph was being supported. Tears still ran down his elder brother's cheeks, and he was reminded strongly of how much Donnie was like Leo: being strong, carrying on despite it all… Oh, Fate, they had to find their bodies. He wouldn't rest until he found them…

Splinter knelt under a tree that was far back enough away from the bank that it still stood. Both brothers halted at the sight.

Mikey.

Mikey lay curled beneath the tree, visibly shaking and crying as Sensei tried to soothe him.

Mikey was alive.

Raph was pretty sure that Don didn't mean to yank him forward but he bit back his hiss of pain and knelt beside his family.

"Mikey! Mikey, Mikey, are you okay?"

Their little brother was soaked and filthy, and sported numerous cuts and bruises; his bright orange mask was muddied and torn but at least he had both his nunchaku. Tears tracked through the grime on his face. "Guys…Leo. I lost Leo."

"Hush, my son," Splinter murmured, trailing gentle hands over his head and shell. Meant as a comfort but also a check for injuries, Raph knew.

His little brother didn't seem to hear because he continued. "I couldn't hold on. I let go…to use my other hand to haul us out but…he slipped. I had him on my back. He was right there with me and I felt him slide away. I tried to reach for him but I slipped and I panicked. I should've jumped in after him. He just…went right under."

Even Splinter was crying now, though it was probably half and half of relief and loss.

Raph inched forward and pried his baby brother from the muddy ground, cradling him. "Ya did what ya could, Mike," he barely managed to say.

Sensei's head snapped up at his words in another's mouth but Raph just clutched his Mikey more tightly.

"We gotta look for him," his little brother said tearfully, sniffing and pulling away a fraction. "He's a strong swimmer. I mean, yeah, he's three but he's still a turtle…"

Donatello opened his mouth, probably to say that if an Olympic athlete had been mutated into a turtle or even a freaking fish, there was no way he would survive. No one – nothing – could survive the flood because it wasn't just the current; it was the debris. It was the crumbling banks. It was the sheer amount of water forced into a narrow channel that created rapids and dangerous eddies. Raph knew about floods as well as his genius brother did. He had made sure he knew about them years ago after the sewers had flooded with heavy rains.

Raph cut him off before he could say any of it: "We'll head downriver. Check the banks fer footprints. Yer right, Mike. He might've gotten out."

The two elder brothers shared a glance over Mikey's head, and Raph could see Donnie's hatred for the hope he knew burned in his eyes: if one of their brothers had survived, perhaps another one did, too. But Raphael knew he was kidding no one. Not himself, not Splinter and not Don. There was no hope. There wasn't any hope at all. But for Mikey's sake, they had to try.

It was Splinter who helped the youngest turtle stand while Raph used the tree for support. He blinked in confusion when Don held his bō out to him. "Take it," he urged. "You can barely walk."

Normally, the red-banded turtle would never even consider touching his brother's weapon - or any of his brothers' weapons, for that matter - but today was not normal, and he accepted the purple-wrapped staff with a jerky nod. The four mutants set off. Onyx, chocolate, amber and baby-blue eyes scanned the ground for any sign of something alive having crawled out of the rage only sparse yards away. But there was nothing. Raph's knuckles paled as his grip tightened around his brother's staff. He would settle for a body. He just wanted to make sure.

They covered the next half mile in solemn silence until a bridge loomed around the bend. Several cars were halted there, several more backed up on either side, and Raph knew from the cracks snaking around the pillars and the deep dugouts along the opposite shore beneath the structure, that the bridge was getting ready to collapse.

"Oh, no," Mikey whispered.

Raph instinctively reached out to touch his fingers to his shoulder, wordlessly telling him to not move.

Splinter turned to face them and Raph had to wonder at the expression he saw there. Grief was clearly taking a back seat for the moment as he said, "Donatello?" with a meaning Raph didn't catch.

"Fifteen minutes tops before it goes," was the dead-sounding reply. "The water's tearing at the banks, too. You can see it." He pointed needlessly. "Fifteen minutes."

Splinter nodded. "While I normally do not condone revealing ourselves, in times of emergency, the choice is left up to you."

"What are you saying, Dad?" Mikey asked. "What about Leo? We have to still look for Leo."

"My son, the time has come to make the choice Leonardo made a dozen times over: to save the many or fail to save the one. Your brother is gone." The words broke on their way out and Raph held back his own tears. Barely. "But his choices stand before me, living proof of what he loved most in all this world. Now you must take up his legacy and make your choice."

The three brothers were silent for a long moment – something the people on the bridge couldn't afford.

"I'm makin' my choice," Raph said. His voice didn't hold firm as he spoke but he didn't care. Tears fell down his cheeks, his damp mask sticking to his skin. "Leo wouldn't turn his back on innocents. Neither will I. Are ya guys comin'?"

Donnie nodded and whispered, "Yeah" while Mikey could only nod as he sobbed.

Splinter stepped closer and touched their faces one by one. "We are still family," he told them, "and you are still a team. Come. Before we are too late."

Racing up the embankment to the road was nothing short of murder for Raph's leg but he forced his pain back and accepted Mikey's hand the last, few, steep feet. Raph could immediately see why the traffic wasn't moving: a large semi had overturned on the sharp corner on the far side, cutting off escape from that end. The humans didn't seem to understand that the bridge was compromised because they sat in their cars, some anxious and fearful but impatient at the hold-up.

Raph held his breath as Mikey, still swollen-eyed, walked up to the nearest vehicle, rapped his knuckles on the driver's window and made a circulatory motion in the air with his finger. The driver rolled down his window with wide eyes. "The bridge is about to go," the turtle said, his voice thick. "Turn around and get out of here. Get to higher ground."

"Are you an alien?" the man asked, visibly trembling.

"You can sit there asking me questions or you can live," Mikey snapped. "Best choose fast 'cause I'm not sticking around." Then he walked away and onto the next car.

Raph reminded himself to give his baby brother a good, long hug after this was over. It looked like he wasn't the only one putting his grief in a trunk and locking the thing.

"Raph!" Donnie caught his attention. "Splinter and I are taking the other side. You and Mike get the people off this end and as far away from the edge as possible! When the bridge goes, it might take a ton of ground with it."

"Got it! Hey," he added to the couple who sat in the car right beside him. "Ya heard him. Get yer butts off this bridge!"

The man instantly abandoned his seat and ran around the other side to the woman who was heavily pregnant.

It was nothing short of a miracle that nobody screamed at the sight of three, five-foot-tall, mutant turtles and one, four-foot-eight-inch, mutant rat. Apparently even humans had some kind of self-preservation instincts because as soon as they were ordered to leave, they scarpered like frightened rabbits, taking only what they could carry which was pretty much just their children and handbags. Across the bridge, Don hollered a morbid countdown to utter destruction which, though useful, did not help Raph's nerves.

At three minutes left, the bridge swayed dangerously and people on the far end screamed as web-like cracks split the asphalt of the road and the concrete of the bridge.

"Go!" he heard Donnie bellow and he blitzed past him only a moment later. "Splinter's following. Hurry!"

"I'm comin'!" he replied, though movement caught his eye. "Gimme a minute." He lunged toward the woman who fought to extricate something from the backseat of a beat-up Toyota. "Are ya crazy!?" he demanded, drawing up beside her. "This bridge is about ta go and yer worryin' about yer baggage?"

"My baby's in here!" she shrieked. "I can't get the buckle!"

Aw, shell. There was no time for this. "Hold this and move!" he ordered, thrusting Don's staff at her and body-checking her so, so carefully out of the way. Not only was the baby stuck but there was also a crud-load of gear in his way. Slinging the baby bag and blanket over his shoulder, he unsheathed a sai, silently thanking his ninja training which forbade him from enjoying a family outing without his weapons. Before the mother could inhale to scream at the sight of the blade near her child, Raph sliced through the straps, tucked his sai back into his belt and very gently manoeuvered fragile limbs. "I got him!" he yelled as he threw himself backwards out of the car. "Run or we die!"

The young woman broke into a sprint and Raph kept up with her, ignoring the agony in his calf as well as the sideways glances she gave him – whether out of fear of him or just making sure he stayed with her, he didn't really care.

The odd trio made it to solid ground where Raphael gently handed the woman her baby and supplies as she handed him the purple-wrapped staff. "Thank you," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Don't mention it," he replied, leaning on the stick and breathing heavily. A glance at his leg told him the wound bled through the bandaging. Don would have to stitch him back up. He tried to ignore it and continued, "Really. People will kill us if they find out we exist."

"How old are you?" she asked.

It was a strange question to ask, certainly not the classic 'Are you an alien?' that Mikey had gotten minutes ago. It was actually a relief, funnily enough. "Uh, not really sure, but our dad thinks we're sixteen."

"Sixteen," the woman breathed, and then she gave him a heartfelt, one-armed hug. "You are amazing."

"Is that it?" Don asked, running up. "Was that everyone?"

Raph pulled out of the hug, the adrenaline pumping through him too much for him to feel embarrassed. "Think so. Where's Sensei?"

"I don't know! He was here a second ago!"

"Raph! Don! House at ten o'clock!"

Both turtles, along with the gathered crowd, turned like a synchronized flock of birds to see the decent-sized house come barrelling along with the deluge. The house crunched into the concrete bridge and ground to a halt. Water immediately backlogged behind it, and the bridge groaned and swayed again.

"MOVE BACK!" Don roared. "The bridge won't last under the pressure! Move back now!"

Raph guided the woman and her baby away and up the hill. "Keep goin' fer higher ground," he urged her, "and stay together."

More than one person looked back at the three turtles. "What about you?" an old man queried.

"We'll wait for our father," Mikey replied smoothly.

"Uh…you're not adopted, are you?" a twelve-year-old girl asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I think I see your dad." The kid pointed to something behind them.

The turtles turned in time to see a flash of grey and brown amongst the colourful vehicles still on the bridge. Splinter held something bright yellow which clung to his neck.

"Dad!" Mikey yelled just as someone else screeched, "Caroline!"

Raph made to lunge forward but Don grabbed him by the arm. "No, Raph! The bridge is collapsing!"

Raph snarled and fought his elder brother's grip. "Donnie, it's Sensei! It's our dad! Let go!"

"No, Raphael! I'm not losing you today, too!"

A blur of green and orange leaped past the two older turtles and both screamed, "Michelangelo!" as Mikey raced down to the bridge.

Raph shoved his brother away and ran. He ran so hard that his heart hammered and his breathing laboured and his leg _burned_ and he found himself begging Fate or whatever deity or higher power existed that would hear him: _Please, please, not today. No more death. Please, no._

Stony groans filled the air, screeching cracks echoed over the roaring water. Splinter was twelve yards from safety and they were ten yards from the bridge. Massive fissures snaked across through the asphalt, slowly separating the bridge from the shore. Still they ran: Splinter and the child he carried towards them, and they toward him.

Then he was off the bridge but they didn't stop running and for a brief second, Raph's heart felt like it would burst with relief.

Then: "Get back, my sons!" Splinter shouted. He stumbled, and the ground beneath his feet crumbled and then gave way.

"NO!" Mikey lunged over the side, one hand extending down to catch Sensei's outstretched hand, the other reaching back for Raph. Raph dropped the staff and caught his brother's hand in both of his. The weight of two mutants yanked him forward onto his belly and he skidded towards the raging gulf. A sudden weight fell on his legs, and he bit back a hiss of pain, but thanks to Donnie, they successfully ground themselves to a halt with Raph six inches from the ledge.

Raph watched the rest of the bridge plunge into the watery depths, leaving only a couple pillars standing. Cars plummeted like toys but he couldn't see anyone, and his heart eased its rapid pace a fraction.

Don shifted his weight so he was more on top of Raph's shell than his legs; breaths were heavy beside his head. "Did we get him? Mikey!"

"I got 'em!" came Mikey's strained reply. "Pull us up whenever you want!"

"On three?" Raph offered.

"Yeah. Three!" Don wrapped his arms around him and heaved, Raph grunted as he used his brother to support his weight for half a second and pulled his feet back under him, and the two of them hauled first Mikey and then Splinter back up onto stable land.

"Dad! Dad! Sensei!" The three young turtles fell to their knees around their father and promptly remembered the child in his arms when he held up a warning hand.

"We shall hug later, my children," he told them. "Let us return the little one."

The girl huddling against the rat's chest looked barely three or four – _the same age as Leo,_ Raph thought with a pang. The girl was a smattering of yellow: yellow dress and yellow hair done up in pigtails with yellow ribbon; her brown eyes were wide as she took in the three new mutants.

"Let me take her, Sensei," Raph said when he saw that Splinter struggled to stand.

Father nodded and relinquished the child to him, and Don and Mikey helped him up. Raph set the girl on his hip and tried not to think of the last similarly-aged child he'd held not even two hours ago.

They didn't even make a few steps before they were greeted by Caroline's family – mother, father and two older brothers – and applause.

Raph didn't know how many people stood there surrounding him and his family, and he had to bite back the instinctual urge to either draw his sai or run, but they all clapped, they all hugged their neighbours and whooped with glee, several whistled. Caroline's mom embraced Splinter with a sob while her father shook their hands ardently.

It was a tense moment for the four mutants, and then Splinter said at last, "Come, my sons. Let's go home."

"But…what about Leo? We have to do _something_ ," Mikey whispered, and Raph had to look away from seeing the tears burn in his little brother's eyes.

"We can mourn. That is all we can do. Come. Before news reporters arrive."

"Hai, otosan," all three turtles murmured.

Splinter led them around the crowd, giving them a safe berth, and into the trees where they melted into the dappled shadows like the ninja they were.

-:-:-:-

'It's unsure exactly what happened here at Dooley Bridge earlier this evening," the reporter on the eleven o'clock news said, his confusion professionally hidden. "Reports from witnesses vary from aliens to angels to regular humans saving all seventy-two people from what could have been another tragedy on this tragic day in Northampton."

The camera cut to a recording of a dishevelled woman with a baby in her arms. "A young man saved my child. He, his brothers and his father saved us all, and I owe them our lives. They lost someone they loved today, I heard them say so, but they put aside their grief to aid complete strangers. I pray that they find comfort and peace."

The reporter continued, "These mysterious good Samaritans seemingly vanished into the woods after this daring and extraordinary rescue. Police are urging the public with any information to come forward. A hot line has even been up and running for the last two hours but officials say that not a single person has called in."

Mikey watched numbly as Casey switched off the TV and turned sad eyes on him. "Do ya think people will stay quiet about this, Mike?" he asked hesitantly.

"Who knows?" Mikey heaved himself out of his chair and walked away into the kitchen to…do something. Anything. It was best to keep his hands busy. If his hands worked, so did his brain which meant he didn't think about…everything.

In theory, of course.

Pan on the stove with oil. _Watch out, Raph!_ Dial to medium heat. _The ground beneath his feet turned to mud and he fell._ Water and pancake mix in the bowl. _Leo clung to him, screaming._ Whisk in hand. _Mikey slung him over his shell and told him to hang on, fighting to keep both their heads above water._ Stir 'til smooth with no granules on the bottom or sides. _It's going to be okay, Leo. We're going to be okay._ Test warmth of pan. _A dead, fallen tree gave him an opportunity to live._ Still had to wait another minute. _I need my other hand, Leo. Can you hang on good and tight?_ Might as well set the table…

Tears welled in his eyes as he took the plates down from the cupboard and walked the table's perimeter, setting places. Splinter at the head then Donnie on his right, Raph beside him and Casey at the end. Then April on the other side and Mikey beside her.

There was an extra plate in his hands.

 _He was hauling themselves up and into the tree. Leo, no, don't let go! Hold on. Hold on as tight as you can!_

It wasn't even one of the plastic ones April had given them weeks ago with the rest of the stuff she'd brought. It was glass. The same as the other six on the table. A plate for his big brother whom, for an instant, he had forgotten had been turned into a toddler; whom, for an instant, he had forgotten was dead.

 _The water sucked at them, threatening to pull them back in, but his strength held. Leo's did not. He couldn't reach him. He almost fell back in - his head went under - but he kept his grip on the tree. He couldn't reach Leo. He couldn't even see him when he resurfaced.  
_

Mikey leaned against the fridge and slid down it to land on the floor, knees tucked up and arms wrapped protectively around the lone plate against his chest. He cried. He didn't even try to stop the tears from coming. His brother was dead. His father and friends and remaining brothers had all told him that it would be okay, that they'd make everything all right. Like how he had told Leo that they'd be okay. Somehow, he'd save them but he had only managed to save himself.

No how. No way. It would never be all right. He sobbed into his knees, holding the plate like it was all that remained of his big, brave brother, his fearless leader, his Leonardo.

"Mikey?" A voice intruded into his mourning. Strong hands curled around his shoulders. "Oh, no, Mikey. It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

Why did everyone keep saying that?

"What are ya holdin'? Mike, what is it? Let go, Mikey. It's okay." Those strong hands tried to take the plate from him, tried to take the last thing on Earth that was Leo's.

"Raphael?" A second voice arrived, skilled at feigning smoothness and calmness. What an able liar that voice was…

"It's a plate. He's holdin' a plate. He won't say why. He won't say anythin'. Mikey, c'mon, buddy, talk ta me."

"Raphael, the table has been set for six."

"Seven." The word was a breath by his ear. "Oh, Mikey. It's okay. Ya can let go of the plate now. It's fine. Ya can let go. Please let go of the plate. Yer gonna break it and cut yerself. Mikey? Won't ya let go? It's okay ta let go."

"No, it's not," he whispered.

"Mikey?"

"It's not okay. It's not going to be okay. It's never going to be okay ever again."

"Michelangelo…"

"Stop _lying_ to me!" he screamed. He shoved away from the fridge, pushed past Raph who fell back in surprise and pain – from his leg, he remembered with a pang of regret – and ran past Splinter and Donnie and April and Casey.

But no Leo. Leo wasn't there.

The screen door slammed behind him as he raced out onto the porch but, cruel Fate, he couldn't leave. As much as he wanted to run forever and never look back, he knew he would look back eventually. He could never leave his family. He couldn't leave but he just needed to be...away. The porch swing creaked on its chains as Klunk stirred in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, his tail curled over his nose. Mikey stumbled into the swing, curling up on it and around his pet without disturbing him. He didn't have the plate anymore; he had no idea what had happened to it. He was too tired to get up and look for it. His hands found fur instead and he hung on, burying his beak in it. He smelled grass and sunshine on washed carpet mixed in with his cat's natural musk. Beneath it all was a faint whiff of sewer - of home - that no amount of soap or licking could get rid of...

The door creaked open. A warm presence filled the space in front of him, and even though he had his eyes closed, he knew it was the liar.

 _No_ , something inside him corrected. It was Sensei. It was his father, his dad.

A so soft and gentle hand smoothed over his head, soft lips touched his brow, soft words reached his ears: "I'm sorry, my Michelangelo." Then the hand, the lips and the words left.

He blinked open his eyes and caught the hem of his robe as he turned away. "Dad," he rasped.

Splinter immediately came back to him, falling to his knees and enfolding him in those small yet protective arms. Whiskers brushed his cheek. "I'm here," he said, and Mikey could hear and see his father's tears. "I'm right here."

Mikey shifted slightly around Klunk to grab hold of his father. "It hurts."

"I know. I know it does. It's all right to cry. It's all right to be sad."

"Not all tears are an evil," Mikey whispered.

Something wet landed on his shoulder and his dad's grip tightened. "That's right, my precious shisoku," he managed to say after a moment. "That's exactly right..."

-:-

Please review. Please, don't hate me.

 **Translations**

Shisoku - son


	38. Chapter 38

**DragonChild157:** (Responding to Chapter 36 review) I love me my cliffhangers! And I'm glad you love them too! :D

 **Insanity21:** You have to find me first! :)

 **Leeannardo11:** I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Thank you for your kind words. I thought it was beautiful too. Tragic, heartbreaking and grieved but beautiful. Give your Leo Build-A-Bear a kiss and hug from me, and tell him I'm sorry.

 **LP:** Sorry! So really, very sorry! A three-year-old mutant with a sixteen-year-old mutant in his head versus a catastrophic flood? Hm... Doesn't look so good. I'm happy to know that you've been with the story for as long as you've been. Your reviews are always welcome, and thank you. :)

 **Ariana Gorman:** I'm glad you liked it. :)

 **Rain in the Dark:** Fair point. It definitely was the shock that kept the boys from thinking straight: they had almost died but they survived, they had just saved seventy-two people who may or may not spill the beans about their existence (and thus alert their enemies), and they had also almost lost Splinter. Losing Leo, not being able to even find a body, was the final straw for everyone. In my head, Splinter was going to meditate just to calm down but he decided not to because his sons needed him. They didn't need sagely advice or calmness, they just needed him to be with them so he was. That's my excuse as to why no one thought to meditate. As for the rescue coming back to bite them...probably won't. Yes, the reports varied but you could also call it playing smart because varying reports only confuse officials. You also have to take into account the fact that no one out-right said "three green dudes and a rat". Some might not have been able to properly identify what our turtle boys were but everyone would recognize a rat. For once, I think, this good deed will go unpunished. :)

 **AlessandraDC:** Apparently no one is giving up hope, and I guess I can see why. Even trapped in a three-year-old body, Leo has done some extraordinary things.

 **WrenchWielder:** *pumps fist and clicks heels* I MADE SOMEONE CRY IN PUBLIC BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I WROTE! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! Ahem. Sorry. *somberly* Forgive me for making you cry in public. But I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. :)

 **karizmasimon1234:** I love cliffhangers! It's a disease, really. I'm sorry.

 **flikaroo:** Thank you for reviewing all those chapters consecutively! A lot certainly happened very quickly. Hopefully things will slow down some. :)

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** I really wanted the guys to be able to do something to help, and I also wanted the people to accept the help and not freak out. In times of disaster, people are more receiving of aid in whatever form it comes. As far as the bros looking for Leo goes... Not going to happen. Sorry. They made their choice and now they're mourning. It's tough, I know. :(

 **hi09:** Yeah...turtle luck sucks. Sorry. :(

 **Turtlecrazy714:** If Leo does survive, he will undoubtedly not be okay. Sorry. The guys sure know how to evacuate people in an emergency, don't they? Mikey's allowed to fall apart but he does know that his family will help him pick up the pieces. :)

 **Kitsune1818:** That is so kind of you to say! Thank you! Trust me when I say that the direction this story is taking is very different from the one I had originally planned but I'm thrilled that you're enjoying it. :)

 **DragonChild157:** Yeah. I know. Try not to hold it against me. ;)

 **WhoAmI659:** (Responding to Chapter 36 review) Uh...they're harmed. They've definitely been harmed. Sorry. :( But thank you for the compliment! :)

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** That's a really good idea, if Leo survives, that is. :( I'm glad you've enjoyed the last couple chapters. I'd say they're 'page-turners' but, you know, it's a screen... :P

 **Author's Note:** I have now reached 78 followers and 71 favourites with 146 reviews and 1 community. You guys are awesome! (Chapter 37 received the most reviews of any chapter posted at 15 reviews so thank you!) On another note: Yes, I know it's not Sunday (it's Saturday where I am) but I can't leave you lovely people wallowing in apparent distress and horror, so here. On yet another note: this chapter's short but necessary. Enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 38

Mikey didn't remember falling asleep. He was still on the porch swing, a light blanket draped over him, and even though the porch light had been turned off, he sensed his family nested in the living room. For a moment, he tried to remember what had woken him in the first place but then he heard it again: a series of shrill yips coming from the woods. Klunk's head snapped up, his ears erect and fur fluffed out, and then he bolted for the cat flap, disappearing inside.

 _Wolves?_ he thought, tensing, but then the sound came again and he relaxed. No. Coyotes. Casey had said there weren't many wolves around here. It sounded like a small pack of maybe five or six, and they were hunting.

He sat up slowly, not wanting to awaken his family but also not wanting to miss seeing a wild animal. Birds, rats and strays didn't count, and he'd never been able to see out the window to scan for deer on the roadside on the trip up to the farmhouse. It'd be cool to see a coyote. Even cooler to see more than one. Coolest of all to watch them in action.

As his eyes eagerly scanned the trees, there was a flurry of movement straight ahead. A black shadow burst from the darkness and zig-zagged desperately across the lawn when five, lithe shapes peeled out of the trees and chased after it. Mikey leaned forward, peering into the gloom. Overhead, the wind dissipated the clouds, revealing the luminous three-quarter moon which threw the hunt into spotlight.

The hunters were amber-eyed with creamy-tan fur in the moonlight, lean and swift. The prey was bi-pedal and dark-skinned, bulky and obviously wounded from the way it clutched an arm to its chest and limped even as it ran to evade death.

Mikey's breath caught in his lungs. It couldn't be…

One of the coyotes pulled ahead of its fellows, lunged, jaws snapping, and landed on the prey. Claws and teeth scraped against hard shell. Mikey would recognize that sound anywhere; and it was that sound that shattered his stunned shock and propelled him off the swing, off the porch and had him reaching for his nunchaku.

"DAD!" he shouted as he slammed one lethal end of his weapon into the head of the dog that tried to go for the turtle's throat. "DONNIE! RAPH!"

The coyote he'd hit slumped to the ground, motionless, and its packmates flattened their ears and bared their teeth at him, growling, yipping and snarling. He swung again, this time at the animal still trying to mangle the little turtle's shell, and he heard the door behind him bang open; someone flicked on the porch light and it spilled across the grass, illuminating the scene better than the moon. Mikey distinctly noticed the splashes of dark red in the grass around Leo's body.

"Mikey! What the shell?"

The coyote he aimed for snarled and jumped back, dodging the blow, and Mikey rushed forward, scooping Leo from the ground, one-handed. The four coyotes bristled at the loss of their meal but beat a hasty retreat at the approach of three more mutants.

"Am I dead?" a weak and solemn voice whispered in his ear.

Mikey tucked the nunchaku into his belt to hold his brother with both arms. "No," he replied, eyes brimming. "No, bro. You're not dead."

"Then…" Navy eyes blinked up at him, and the orange-masked ninja saw the fever-caused daze there, "you're alive?"

It occurred to Mikey right then that it was not the toddler that spoke to him now, but his elder brother. He did not stop the tears that spilled down his cheeks. "Yeah, and we're alive together."

"Mikey? Care ta explain why ya were beatin' the shell outta some animals?"

He turned at his name and at the same time answered the question without saying a word.

"Holy Fate! Leo!?"

"How in the shell…?"

"Bring him inside!" Splinter interrupted the shock firmly and fiercely. "Raphael, get cloths and a large bowl of warm water. Donatello..."

"On it, Sensei. Here, Mike. Give him to me."

"Please, Don, don't," Leo begged, freezing everyone. "Mikey's okay for now. My elbow's dislocated. I can't feel the pain anymore but I don't think handing me around is going to help."

It dawned on everyone that this was the first time that they'd heard Leo speak in full, complete sentences. It was their Leonardo.

Don was the first to recover and immediately stepped back. "Okay. All right. Let's just get you inside, okay? Come on, Mikey. Gently now."

Mikey bit back his retort – _You say it like I don't know!_ – and followed his brothers inside, Splinter bringing up the rear.

Casey and April awaited them in the living room. Their wide eyes went wider when they spotted Leo who looked even worse under the room's comfortable fluorescents. Bruises and deep cuts littered his body, and a particularly nasty gash on his leg still oozed blood.

Splinter rounded on the two humans, with quiet but commanding eyes. "Ms. O'Neil, some blankets please. Mr. Jones, would you build a fire? We must keep Leonardo warm."

"Sure thing." Casey ran out the back door for the wood pile while April ran upstairs to the linen closet.

A small hand on his neck made Mikey look down.

"I saw you slip," murmured Leo. "You were reaching for me and just before I went under, I saw you slip. I thought… Mike, I thought…" He trailed off, fever, pain and relief overwhelming him.

Mikey tightened his grip just the littlest bit, pressing his brother's head into his plastron to let him hear his heart beat not only with life but with rising joy. "It's okay, Leo," he managed to say. "It's all going to be okay." He could say it now. He could say it was going to be fine. Everything was going to be all right because, now, it really would. It was not a lie anymore.

-:-:-:-

It did not pass Splinter's notice that he, Michelangelo and Leonardo were now the only ones in the room. He stepped forward, unable to help himself, and cupped the tiny face in his furry hands.

"Kon'nichiwa, otosan," Leonardo whispered, sick and shaking and smiling a little and alive.

"Kon'nichiwa, my precious kame," he replied. Taking one hand from Leonardo, he cradled Michelangelo's cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the tears running down his ninja's face. "It is all right, my sons. It is going to be all right."

"I know, Dad," the orange-masked turtle murmured, an exhausted and fragile smile curling on his mouth.

Donatello returned with his medical duffel over his shoulder and Ms. O'Neil hard on his heels. "Put him there, Mike," he ordered. "April, can you help Raph?"

"Sure thing," the woman answered weakly, her green eyes wide as she deposited the blankets beside the couch and rushed into the kitchen.

Splinter stepped back to let his son work, though he hovered at the head of the couch Michelangelo settled the child on, and work Donatello did. His deft hands cleaned off the worst of the dirt and grime, set the elbow, disinfected and sewed up the leg wound, and applied Band-Aids to the more minor cuts (though those also got a small iodine bath). All this happened while Mr. Jones brought in wood, built up a fire and then took up position beside Ms. O'Neil, both pairs of human eyes wide and tear-filled. It struck the rat in that instant that there had been a similar experience not too long ago, all of them grouped around an ailing Leonardo in an old farmhouse with a fire merrily crackling and mocking their anxiety and fear. He shut his eyes and willed the memory away. His son had lived then. He would live now.

It felt like hours later when Donatello pulled back with a relieved sigh. "That should do it. Now, let's check that temperature." He reached into his duffel, the one with most of the medical supplies Splinter really hadn't thought they'd need, and pulled out a thermometer; thank goodness, his son hadn't listened to him and taken everything anyway.

A low beep a few seconds later.

"How bad is it?" Leonardo asked sleepily.

It eased his heart and soothed his soul when his second eldest child smiled. "Not bad at all. Just a degree and a half above normal. I'm not worried. I am more concerned about the pain you'll be feeling soon."

"Nothing I can't handle" was the automatic reply. But then Leonardo frowned. "Little Leo. I won't be able to hold him back once he regains consciousness. He'll feel all of it."

"Morphine's safe to give to kids in small doses," Donatello supplied knowingly.

"Don't tell me ya've got shots of morphine in that bag, Donnie," said Raphael, his eyes wide at his brother's ability to prepare.

Splinter had to smile when his purple-masked son extricated a packet and a new syringe with a flourish and a quiet "Ta da! What do you think I gave you as soon as we got home so I could stitch you back up?" he added. "I just didn't drug you enough to make you sleep – though I should have. Sit down, Raph."

"How is this now 'bout me?" Raphael demanded.

"You heard the doc, Raphie," Michelangelo inserted, taking his brother's arm and guiding him to the armchair. "Just sit. It's not like Leo's going to get up and walk away."

"With the dose I'm about to give him? Shell no!" said Don with a chuckle.

Leonardo smiled dizzily up at them, basking in the joyful and relieved glow, and Splinter tenderly stroked his son's head as Donatello administered the morphine.

"It'll take a minute to kick in," he said, sitting back on his heels at last and yawning.

Sidestepping around the couch's arm, Splinter laid a hand to his genius son's shoulder. "Go to bed, my children. I will watch him for the remainder of the night," he said, his eyes flicking up to meet the two humans' and two other turtles' gazes.

"Are you sure, Sensei? I mean, we're all exhausted."

"I will be fine, for I know you are not far away should I need assistance. Sleep."

His son blinked blearily before returning to the nest of blankets on the floor, his younger brothers (as well as Klunk) following suit with Michelangelo helping Raphael from his chair. Mr. Jones poked one more log onto the fire then settled in the armchair Raphael had just abandoned while April fell onto the second couch. Soon, the only sounds in the room were slumbering breaths and the fire's spitting.

Splinter tucked a blanket's edge in more tightly and rested a gentle hand on his son's crown. "Sleep, my Leonardo," he urged. "The danger is past."

To his horror, tears leaked from those navy eyes. "M'sorry f'r m'king you worry." The words were slurred from the medication slowly taking effect.

The aged father closed his eyes for a moment, then knelt on the floor, rubbing his child's tiny brow. "It was not your intention to make us worry," he decided to say.

"I br'ke my prom'se t'him, to Li'l Leo. We prom'sed no fighting but…t'save us, I had to. He was in shock, Se'sei. I had t'do something or we were going t'die."

"Hush." The word came out of his mouth broken and strained. Clearing his throat did not help but he said anyway, "Hush, my shisoku. You did right."

"But…my prom'se."

"You broke no promise. You acted bravely. He will understand. Sleep. All will be better in the morning." He resettled the warm quilt around his boy and watched Leonardo's eyes flutter closed. " _Sleep,_ " he soothed in Japanese. " _Father will watch over you._ "

Leonardo cracked an eyelid and smiled. " _When have you ever not?_ "

Splinter gave a low, strangled chuckle and kissed the little forehead.

-:-

Please review. Also, feel free to bask in the knowledge that, no, this is not a dream. You're welcome. :)


	39. Chapter 39

**The Once Caged Bird:** Yay for alexithymia! (Actually a word, and you'll be surprised by its definition.) I really, really, really didn't want Leo to be gone for more than a chapter or two because there's only so much angst and grief I can take (yes, even I). One thing about Mikey is that he doesn't tend to dwell too much on the past. Leo's back, happy day, time for pancakes is pretty much his mentality. Just because no one's going to die in this fic doesn't mean that I won't end up posting a fic with character deaths. This fic actually originally had a major character death (I won't say who) but because of you guys and your reviews and love for the story, I veered away from the ending I still have on my computer. :)

 **Leeannardo11:** Aw, yiiiiis! There's obviously more to the two Leos' choices than what we currently know and Chapter 39 will recount their tale. As far as the original plot went...I killed someone. Of great importance. I still have the end-scene and sometimes I go back and read it again if I need a good cry. :)

 **Renard bleu:** Merci mille fois pour votre commentaire! Ah, je ne suis pas francaise mais je l'ai etudi a l'ecole et a l'universite pour...presque dix annees maintenant. Je jamais lis ni ecris le tcest; ce n'est pas pour moi. Le moment entre Mikey et Leo etait un des freres. Leo a pense que Mikey etait mort (ca va etre explique en plus detaille en Chapitre 39). Le relief qu'il senti! Le relief que les deux sentient! Vous trouverez jamais le tcest dans mes histoires, seulement l'amour entre les freres. :) Au fait, j'aime votre identite; c'est tres chic! Aussi, pardon pour le manquer des accents.

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Huzzah for not being completely evil! Still mildly evil, maybe even moderately evil, but not completely evil - hooray! The two Leos have obviously bonded one way or another during their forced time together. But now that Little Leo's home, will he revert back to his bad habits? Time will tell... Muahahaha!

 **2ndGenGeek:** Of course, he did! We're just going to have to see how Little Leo reacts. :)

 **Insanity21:** It is so precious, I concur. :)

 **WeirdDudette:** Welcome, welcome! I am beyond thrilled that you decided to give my fic a shot. Trust me when I say that you're not the only one who browses and glosses over fics, only to return to them to read them at last. Thank you for loving my writing style. This is my first public work and I'm so happy that the style is what a lot of readers comment on, how real it all seems and how visionary it is. On a side note, sorry about my cliffhangers. :( I'm ecstatic that you're loving it as much as you are, and I apologize for your lack of sleep. I will continue to update, you have my word. I post Sundays and Thursdays, although occasionally I'll do Saturdays and Wednesdays if the chapter's ready to go. Thank you for your kind words, and welcome again to 'Brother Mine'! :)

 **tarin2014tfan:** I can only guess that that's a good thing? I hope they were tears and sniffles of joy. :)

 **AlessandraDC:** Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with that rule (not that I'm going to implicate it ;)). I thought Raph was a trouble magnet, geez. Little Leo puts him to shame!

 **flikaroo:** If by 'Leo stepping in' you mean Leo forcefully slamming his way into Little Leo's mind to take control because it was either that or they die, then, yeah. More details to follow in this chapter! :)

 **Author's Note:** It's a day early but I think it's ready. Buckle up, guys!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 39

It came as no surprise to anyone when dawn fell across all four sleeping turtles piled and nestled together on the couch Leo was supposed to have had all to himself. Mikey had the honour of having Leo tucked against his plastron, his shell to the couch's back and his arms wrapped protectively around the smaller, snoozing body; and Don lay on his side, his beak just touching the little shell. Raph, who wasn't even aware that he had moved from the nest on the floor sometime during the night, had his head and most of his torso resting on Mikey's carapace, one arm hanging over Don's shoulders, his legs propped and dangling over his older brother's tucked knees. It took him a moment to realize that there was another body against his: Klunk lay curled in the crook between his neck and shoulder. The sai-wielding turtle smiled, shifted ever so slightly (though not enough to wake the cat or anyone else on the couch) to relieve some mild pressure on his calf, and drifted back to sleep to the sounds of his brothers' heartbeats and April in the kitchen…

"Should we wake them up?"

Raph cracked an eyelid just in time to see April smack Casey's shoulder. "They survived a flood, saved seventy people yesterday and were reunited with Leo whom we all thought was dead. They can sleep as long as they want."

"I must agree with Ms. O'Neil, Mr. Jones." Splinter stepped noiselessly into the room, a light that hadn't been there yesterday twinkling in his eye. "Come. Breakfast will have to wait."

"Som'ne say bre'kf'st?" Mikey garbled, shifting beneath Raph.

"Put it in the blender and stick in a drip for me," added Donnie. "Too tired."

"Breakfast sounds good. Hold the ketchup, please."

Raph smiled and opened his eyes all the way. "Mornin', Leo."

A navy gaze peered over Mikey's protective arm. "Good morning, Raph. Good morning, everyone."

April's green eyes shone with tears and Casey had to swallow a couple times. "Mornin', little buddy. Ya guys wanna stay here or come ta the table?"

"Right here's good," said Don. "I want to take a look at Leo first, though."

"We'll bring everything in," April said, turning away. "Come on, Casey. You can help me."

Don tried to move and found he couldn't. "Raph, you need to get off so we can sit up."

"Can't move. Mikey, yer cat's still asleep," Raph mumbled.

"Don't worry," April, pausing in the kitchen's doorway, reassured him with a wink. "The can opener always brings him running."

"Yer amazin, April."

"So you guys tell me," she laughed gently and walked away. A second later, the can opener sounded through the whole lower floor and Klunk snapped awake, leaping off Raph's shoulder and stretching before taking off for the kitchen.

Now that he was free to move, Raph sat up carefully, allowing Don and Mikey to do the same. He and his brothers kept a watchful eye on Leo as he rolled over onto his shell, favouring his right arm which was bound tightly to his chest.

Don put a hand to the little forehead and smiled. "Fever's gone. Think you can eat?"

"As long as it's not covered in ketchup," was the groggy reply. "I didn't mind it before but now I'm really starting to hate it."

"Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas now!" Mikey teased. "A massive bottle of Heinz!"

Navy eyes were slits as Leo said, "If you do and I'm sixteen again at that point, I'm going to put you through the training session of your life and then make you do flips."

Mikey grinned and wiggled a finger at their elder brother. "Awww, Wittle Weo's so cute when he's mad!"

Narrowed eyes narrowed further. "I'm going to _bite_ you."

"Aaaand that's the end of that conversation. Mikey, go do somethin' useful and let Don work." Raph jerked his head toward the kitchen.

His little brother stuck his tongue out at him. "Party pooper."

"It ain't a party if the most Zen of us is threatenin' ya," Raph corrected. "Go," and he tossed a thumb over his shoulder for emphasis.

"All right, all right, I'm going." Mikey traipsed out the door with all his usual exuberance.

When he was gone, Raph and Don turned to Leo. "Now don't downplay it, Leo, because you have a nasty habit of doing it," Donnie began but he was quickly cut off by the kid.

"Everything hurts. There. Not downplaying."

"You really are in pain if you're this grouchy," Raph observed solemnly.

Something similar to guilt flickered in those weary irises and Leo sighed when Don gave him, not another shot of morphine, but a couple of pills. "I don't mean to be," he said. "It really isn't that bad but it's the body. It can't handle it, and Little Leo's not exactly quiet in my head right now."

Both older turtles blinked. "Wait, he's conscious?"

"He was conscious the whole time, just asleep. I didn't kick him in the head, if that's how you were thinking I got in control. Once he realized that I knew what I was doing, he…actually let me stay in control. He's not pounding on my skull to be let back in but he's not happy at the amount of pain we're in either."

"Maybe we can help on that front?" suggested Donnie. "We can meditate and calm him down from that end and then…maybe you can tell us what happened?"

Leo smiled tiredly. "Sounds like a plan, Don. But I want to eat first. Last night's supper seems like a lifetime ago."

Raph glanced at Donnie sidelong in confusion; when had Leo eaten? He'd been in too much pain and he'd been far too tired to eat anything when they'd found him – or rather when he had found them. Mind, his doctor-brother hadn't said anything about dehydration which meant that Leo had to have had something between lunch yesterday and now. It was another question added to the list he was forming in his head to ask later.

"We come bearing gifts!" Mikey announced as pompously as possible. In he pranced (there was no other word for it), two platters in each hand and one on his head. Casey and April followed, more restrained, with plates of their own.

"Michelangelo, my son, as much as I admire demonstrations of your skills, perhaps don't do them with breakfast sitting precariously on your head?" Splinter murmured, materializing out of nowhere to catch the plate of pancakes Mikey let slip from his head when he screamed and tripped at the rat's voice.

"Ever a ninja," Donnie quipped dryly. "Do try not to shout, Mike. Leo's in enough pain as it is without a headache."

"Sorry, bro." Mikey looked properly ashamed which made Raph sigh and stride (limp) forward to take one of the plates from his brother's hands.

"Let's just eat," he said.

"Truer words were never spoken!" Casey crowed.

"That goes for you, too, Casey Jones!" Don shot at him, his chocolate eyes narrowed.

"This looks great, April," Raph said, hoping to ease the tension as he gestured to the pancakes and French toast with bowls of syrup, whipped cream and fruit. He put a small plate together for Leo, cutting up the toast into tot-sized pieces, and gave it to him once Don had finished with the checkup and dosing him with painkillers.

"Thanks, Raph," Leo said quietly, forking whipped cream with some bread into his mouth.

"I wonder if we should give you plain toast instead?" Don observed.

"I didn't throw up last night," Leo pointed out. "And I ate about an hour before I ran into the coyotes."

"Adrenaline works wonders," Donnie deadpanned.

"Leave it alone, Don," Raph advised. "If he does throw up, then ya can tell him _I told ya so_."

The purple-masked turtle sighed dramatically, "Fine. Fine" and walked away to get his own plate.

Raph watched his elder/little brother peripherally as they all ate in contented silence. Was it just him or was he wincing? Was it his elbow? His leg? The various cuts and bruises or the general soreness of his body? Was it Little Leo complaining away?

"Ya doin' all right, Fearless?" he asked.

Leo froze, his navy eyes wide, his fork in his mouth. Slowly, he extricated the utensil, chewed, swallowed and said, not looking at him, "As well as can be expected."

"Ya kinda exceeded our expectations, though," Raph pointed out gently.

He still didn't look at him, saying, "Yeah. I know."

"We thought the worst…"

"I know."

"We tried to find ya, we really did. It's just…" He trailed off. They had made a choice: save the many or fail to save the one. They had given up hope so quickly. Why had they given up so quickly?

"It's okay, Raph." Raphael realized that he was staring into the calm, wise and strong shade of navy. "Really. I know what you did yesterday, saving all those people. I'll tell you later how I found out," he added when Raph opened his mouth to ask. "You made a choice and I can't fault you for helping innocents when I would have done the same."

" _You_ wouldn't have given up," he murmured bitterly, his gaze falling to his half-eaten plate.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you gave up."

When the young turtle glanced up, he found his brother smiling at him. He found those comforting, blue irises. He found his fearless leader. A smile quirked his mouth and he muttered, "Ya know I suck at lyin', Fearless."

One handed, Leo set his plate aside and scooted over to bury himself in Raph's arm. "Thank you for not giving up on me," he said, hushed.

Raph bit back tears as he lifted his plate away, nudged Leo down into his lap and stroked circles against the tiny carapace. He sighed when Leo's breathing evened out and he fell asleep. As much as he wanted to know what had happened to his brother yesterday, he knew he would have to be patient and wait for Leo to wake up. He'd been through hell; that was obvious. Surviving a flood, walking who knew how far to get home, getting hurt and injured, and being hunted by a pack of coyotes? If Leo had done all that in a three-year-old body, then he could wait. He would wait for as long as it took.

It was after lunch when Leo awoke from his nap, and Raph hadn't moved an inch, though Mikey had supplied them with blankets despite the balmy temperature outside.

"We can meditate now," were Leo's first words upon opening his eyes.

"Ya know ya can take yer time, right?"

"I don't want to. Little Leo needs his family."

Raph had to agree on that front, and so he gently deposited Leo on the floor (still wrapped in a blanket) and went in search of the family.

"Yo, Don," he greeted, poking his head into his brother's room. "Quit playin' with that gun and come on downstairs. We're meditatin'. Get Mikey."

Donnie looked up, his eyes wide behind the magnifying goggles he wore. "Now?"

"Leo's doesn't wanna wait," Raph replied, turning away. He heard his brother scramble to put away his gear and come after him.

Inside of three minutes, the five of them sat in a circle on the living room floor. April and Casey had gone out to get more supplies so that left them the house for a few hours. In the center, burned a handful of candles and myrrh resin incense. Raph kept an eye on Leo who sat between him and Don, just in case something went wrong; and Don's medical duffel lay beside the couch, also just in case.

Leo gave them all an exhausted smile before closing his eyes, and father and brothers followed suit.

"Mikey, Mikey!" was the first thing they heard, and Raph's eyes snapped open and he dodged to the side just in time to avoid the cold-blooded missile that was Little Leo as he barrelled through their ranks, right into the orange-masked turtle's arms. "You is alive! Thank you for saving me from dogs!"

Mikey chuckled wetly, burying his beak in the small neck, his arms wrapped tightly. "You're welcome, little buddy." Raph barely heard the whisper and glanced at Leo (sixteen years old and unharmed) who shrugged.

"Daddy, Raphie, Donnie!" Little Leo squealed, noticing them at last.

So of course they had hugs to give and get, and Splinter kissed the tiny turtle's forehead and kept him on his hip as Leo gestured the way into his mind's lair, to the couches where they sat; Sensei sat in his armchair, Little Leo tucked against his chest.

They waited expectantly while Leo took a moment. "Since we're here," he began, waving a hand to indicate the mindscape, "it would be better if I showed you rather than told you what happened yesterday. If that's all right?"

Splinter nodded acquiescence but Raph inhaled sharply. He'd never much liked this way of sharing experiences. Sensei sometimes did it when he needed to get a specific point across but immersing other minds into memories was at the same time difficult for the sharer and brutal for the audience as they experienced the very thoughts during the memory in gruesome detail, and they couldn't pull out or comment. As much as he wanted to know, he was not looking forward to this.

There was no need for candles, incense or meditation since they were already meditating. Leo took a deep breath, closed his eyes and Raph felt the mindscape shift, twist and then burst apart onto a living memory…

-:-:-:-

As soon as Donnie vanished from his mind, Leo turned all his attention to Little Leo and what he was hearing and seeing. The alarm calls of hundreds of birds were deafening and Mikey's strong arms gathered them up, Raph leading the way up the bank towards the woods.

A strange hum sounded through the air and what felt like the very ground; they could feel the vibrations as Mikey carried them.

"Mikey, what noise?" Little Leo murmured.

Mikey opened his mouth, probably to say that he didn't know, when something caught everyone's eye, and the hum turned to a roar: a massive wave of water, tumbling and engulfing, swamped the riverbed, taking banks and nearby trees with it; Leo could see boulders and bits of smashed houses.

"Raph, watch out!" Mikey yelled.

The warning prompted ingrained instinct, and Raphael threw himself forward and out of the way of danger.

Mikey, too, tried to run but the swelling water turned the bank to mud and it crumbled and they fell and Little Leo screamed as water rushed over both their heads.

 _Mikey, Mikey!_ Leo shouted, lunging at the brick wall, but he held back just in time. He had promised. No more fighting but…Mikey.

 _Mikey could still get out,_ a voice of reason comforted. _Mikey could still save us._ What could he do anyway? He would be a sixteen-year-old mentality in a three-year-old body. All he could do was watch…and pray.

Mikey kept a tight hold and they burst through the surface, spluttering and gasping. Little Leo was crying.

"Hang on, Leo. I gotcha. I'm not gonna let go. I got you. I got you."

"Mikey," Little Leo whimpered.

"It's okay. It's gonna be o-." His words cut off as he went under again.

Leo pressed a hand to the wall and squeezed his eyes shut, willing Mikey to resurface. His baby brother… _Come on, Mike. You can do it. You're a turtle, you're ninja, you can do this._

Whether it was coincidence or an answer to his plea, Mikey came up again, coughing, but he held them as tightly as he could, and Leo breathed in relief and opened his eyes again.

Leo spotted the massive sweeper at the same time his brother did: a large, dead dawn redwood that would either save them or kill them. Mikey slung them over his shell with a commanding, "Hold on, Leo. Hold on as tight as you can."

Their little hands curled around the carapace's rim with as much strength as a three-year-old could muster. Mikey steadied them with one hand and used the current and his own strength to guide themselves straight at the sweeper. "Hold on, Leo," he told them. "It's all going to be okay."

They were going too fast and Leo flinched when Mikey almost impaled himself on the redwood's bare, outstretched branches. Twigs scratched at him as he clung, one-handed, to a sturdy branch that would support their weight. Try as he could, though, he couldn't haul them out with one hand still steadying them on his back. Leo felt that hand hesitate and then release them. Now it was just their minimal, three-year-old strength in a grip that proved direly insufficient. His heart raced against his ribs when they slipped a fraction in the overpowering current.

Mikey was still half-in, half-out of the water, and it was clear that he fought to keep from being swept under the entangling branches but he said anyway, "Almost there, Leo. Hold on, hold on. Don't let go. It's going to be okay."

Something hard and heavy struck them in the leg and Little Leo let go in surprise and pain. "Mikey!" he squealed and then they were yards away inside of a second.

"LEO!" Mikey screamed. He reached back for them, already too late, and he slipped. He slipped right back into the rage and went under less than a second before they did.

 _Hold your breath!_ Leo commanded the young turtle. _Remember swimming in the pool at home? Raph and Mikey showed you how to swim underwater. Hold your breath for as long as you can!_

 _It hurts,_ Little Leo moaned, obviously meaning their leg which both of them could feel oozed blood.

This would be so much easier if he were in control! _I know it does but you got to ignore it. You got to kick. Use your legs and arms and swim up!_

The current did it for them, pushing them to the surface and to air. They took a deep breath but Leo was too busy scanning the river and what he could still see of the bank and the tree for Mikey, for any sign of his brother. He saw none.

No.

No.

 _Not Mikey. Not my baby brother. My Michelangelo._

He collapsed against the brick, sliding down to the floor. Tears rolled beneath his mask and he hugged his arms over his plastron – the only way to keep his body from exploding, though he could do nothing to stop his tearing heart.

"Mikey."

The word had not been his. It had been Little Leo's.

 _It was all his fault,_ Leo thought enraged.

Leo immediately squashed the ferocity that boiled up. There was no time for blame and if they lived through this, he wouldn't blame him anyway. He couldn't. He was three. He was small, weak and dependant. He loved Mikey. He loved Father, Don, Raph, April and Casey, even though they weren't his to love. Never once had he wished them harm. He had only ever wanted to protect them from the perceived threat that was 'Big Leo'.

Taking a breath, Leo pushed himself off the floor. Keeping a hand to the wall, he called out to the tyke. _Leo? Leo, can you answer me?_

They were still bobbing along in the current and Leo had to give the kid credit for keeping their head above water.

"Leo," the tot cried. "Mikey. I want Mikey!"

 _I know you do._ Leo leaned his forehead against the fired, red clay. Oh, how he knew! _But he's not here right now. We have to get out of the river. We need to get to land. Can you do that?_

"Mikey, Mikey, help!" Little Leo sobbed.

 _He can't help us, buddy,_ Leo replied, fighting back his own tears. _He's…_ (gone) _he's not here. He's_ … (dead) _waiting for us. Mikey's waiting for us. We'll see him again._

"Daddy, Raphie, Donnie!" he wailed. "Help me! Home! I wanna go-go home!"

 _They're not here. We have to help ourselves now. Please? Please, you have to stop crying. You have to move or we're going to die._

But the child didn't care or didn't hear him, and Leo bowed his head for a second. _I'm sorry,_ he whispered, and then he slammed his whole soul out of his mind, through the red brick, and into Little Leo's bright and colourful mindscape. Warmth flooded him as he wrested control and felt his mind and spirit fill his limbs.

 _You promised,_ Little Leo moaned.

But Leo thrusted him away into the deeper recesses of their shared minds and threw up as strong a mental wall as he could to keep him in. _Be mad at me later,_ he told him. _If we live, that is._

A sixteen-year-old mentality in a three-year-old body. That's what he was now as he faced a raging flood. Well, he always did enjoy a challenge.

He flipped onto his plastron and used his arms as paddles and his legs as rudders to guide himself into the bank. He snatched at grass; it got pulled out. His fingers scraped against earth; the water turned it to mud and it crumbled away.

A bridge loomed ahead of him and horror filled his mind at the sight of the massive water pillows[1] against the pillars. Those were bad. The eddies on the downstream-side of the pillars were worse. If he wanted to live, he either had to get out before the bridge or navigate through the torrent to get between the pillars as centrally as possible. Looking to the side, the bank was too steep for him to get out safely and in time.

A low growl slid between his teeth. He was not going to die today! Under the bridge he would go.

 _Please, Fate,_ he begged as he kicked and swam, angling himself to ride between the pillars. _Let me see my family one more time._

 _And Mikey, too,_ the quiet voice in his head murmured.

 _And Mikey, too,_ Leo agreed in a whisper of thought.

Leo held his breath in grim anticipation of disaster as he passed into the bridge's shadow and then under the bridge and then out the other side. He didn't get pushed into the pillows. He didn't get trapped in the eddies. Even the bank evened out another half-mile down.

Of course, his luck wasn't that good. It never had been. One eye was on land for a safe spot to haul himself out, but the other, scanning the river for potential danger, spotted the sweeper first and then the abrupt horizon of cut-off water just thirty yards after the sweeper.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOODNESS AND LOVE WAS A WEIR DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?!

Now he panicked. The amount of water falling over the short drop just made it that much more dangerous. He would be dragged under and tumbled about like laundry in a dryer for however long the current kept him there. Seconds. Minutes. Hours.

He was going to die. They were both going to die.

 _You can do it, Big Leo,_ Little Leo said from the other side of his mental wall. _You is turtle. You is ninja. You can do it._ A flash of familiar colour danced behind his eyes.

Blue.

He had the mask with him.

Splinter had told Little Leo to not bring any toys to the river in case they got dirty or ruined and that had included the mask since Sensei had no on-hand fabric to make a new one. Little Leo had brought it with him anyway, stowing it in his shell. In their shell.

He had seconds left and so he was quick, reaching in blindly for the bit of fabric that might save them if he could make it to the small evergreen that had freshly fallen over. His fingers snagged it and he yanked it out as he once again found himself angling towards danger to avoid death. They were smaller than Mikey so he had to be more careful, otherwise the current would push them straight under the water-logged branches, trapping them as easily as the weir would. The current worked with him, sending them towards the sweeper. He was five yards away when he secured both mask tails in his left hand and pulled on the middle with his right hand to widen the loop. His hands flashed out as fast as lightning and wrapped the mask around a branch, securing him to the surface. He banged against the tree but the blue loop kept his head and torso above water. Now for the hard part. He used his right foot to brace himself against the pokey trunk. He pushed off slowly.

Ouch!

Pain shot up his leg and he remembered the wound from earlier. His leg gave out and he fell back in but his grip on the mask, his only tie to life right now, was still tight.

 _You can do it, Big Leo,_ the toddler encouraged.

 _Thanks, kiddo._

One more time. Right foot up against the trunk. Mask was still secure. He took a breath to steady his nerves, heart and mind.

It occurred to him in that moment that he wasn't just trying to save one life. He was trying to save two. It was a strange thought to have but he acknowledged it, even welcomed it. He might not be able to save his own life but damned if he let someone die because of his inability. Damned if he let a child die.

His resolve firmed, calmness swept through his body, and he exhaled then pushed off his foot as slowly as he dared and pulled on the blue loop, levering his body out of the water. Fiery darts stabbed his leg, his weak muscles trembled. Still, he pushed until he was out of the water and parallel to it, quickly setting his left foot against the trunk to steady himself. His right hand reached up to snag a branch and it mercifully held his weight when he tugged experimentally. He let his body relax out of the stiff parallel position, as well as to ease the stress on his right leg.

Now he was stuck. Sort of. He glanced down at the blue mask, still wrapped firmly around the branch, his hand holding both ends. He had to let go if he wanted to move upward. He could always just release one tail but he also needed the hand free, and he could not afford to stow it in his shell in his precarious position.

He had to let it go.

 _Blue,_ Little Leo moaned.

Leo's eyes stung at the innocent yearning for the toy. _I know, buddy. I know how much you love it. But we got to let it go. Our lives aren't worth it. Do you understand? Father can make us a new one when we get back to New York._

A sudden idea struck him. It was dangerous and stupid but, geez, the kid was crying over their mask, the child's symbol for comfort and love, and his symbol for leadership and honour. It was so stupid…but he had to do it.

He took another deep breath, closed his eyes and fell into meditation almost instantly, very glad that he had mastered keeping his physical body in any position he wanted during meditation. (He could meditate while in a handstand!) His home opened up in front of him and he raced to Splinter's rooms, to the cupboard he had created and the bolts of fabric he knew lay within. Scissors materialized in his hand and he swiftly and skillfully cut a mask from the blue cloth. In the next instant, he was at the wall and it was then that he froze. If he felled the wall then Little Leo could take back control and they would die.

"Leo?" he called through the brick. "Leo, I have something for you." He wouldn't say it. He wouldn't make the child promise, not after he'd so blatantly broken his own promise. It was a leap of faith, trusting the toddler, but…he had to. "I'm going to take the wall down so I can give it to you, okay?"

"Okay, Big Leo."

In one, swift move, the wall crumbled into nothingness and, once the dust cleared, the two Leos stared at each other. Little Leo didn't make any move to indicate that he was about to take over.

Leo held out the mask. "Here. It's not really real – it only exists in here – but take it. It's going to be okay. Father will make you a new one later."

Tentative fingers reached for the fabric, closed around it and pulled it away gently. Tiny arms held it to a little plastron. Diminutive tears fell down small, round cheeks. Everything about him was just so small but at the same time, he was as large as life itself. He was a strange contradiction, and that only proved truer when navy eyes met his and he whispered, "Thank you, Big Leo."

Leo smiled at this miniscule doppelganger. "You're welcome, Little Leo."

"Go-go home now?"

"Yes. I'll get us home."

At those words, the toddler threw himself into his arms but no sooner did their skin make contact than purple light sparked painfully and Little Leo fell back, though he was unharmed. "What that?"

Leo examined his arms fearfully but it didn't look like he'd received any damage. "I'm not sure. We'll figure it out later, okay?"

"Okay, Big Leo."

Leo smiled at the turtle tot before slowly extricating himself from mediation. He blinked open his eyes and glanced up in alarm at a sudden, grinding roar echoing over the rush of water. What was that…?

Oh, Fate. The bridge. All that rubble would come straight at him. He had to move. Now.

Releasing the mask, letting it flutter down to the water and get swirled away by the current, he swung his left arm up to grab another branch and hauled his body upright. Staying as close to the trunk as possible, he wrapped his left arm around the tree, bent his knee and dragged himself up and, yes! He did it. He almost collapsed on the trunk right then and there but he had no time left if he didn't want to be crushed by a collapsed bridge.

 _Those poor people,_ he thought as he crawled along the trunk and finally, at long last, onto solid ground.

Little Leo was not upset by the bridge's destruction, instead cheering at the feel of grass beneath their hands again. _Home, home! Go-go home now!_ he chirped.

Leo sighed. The hard part was over. Now he just had to walk back however far. He staggered to his feet and bit back a grimace as his right leg throbbed. At least now he could see how damaged it was. He knew the bone was intact but that was it. He looked down. A gash the size of his hand split the skin down his outer thigh, blood still oozing down his leg.

He limped several yards away from the bank to what he hoped was a safe distance from the torrent and plopped down, pressing his bare hands to the wound. He had to stop the bleeding. It wasn't too deep of a cut, though it would need stitches, and before three minutes had passed, it had clotted. During those three minutes, slabs of asphalt and concrete mixed with colourful cars swept past. It was painful to watch because he knew he couldn't do anything, small as he was. He looked away when he realized Little Leo was crying in his head, knowing full-well what the waterlogged cars meant.

Leo turned his head away and closed his eyes…

He snapped them open what felt like only a minute later except it wasn't a minute later. The sun had long since disappeared behind the horizon, the inky darkness thick.

"Oh, no," he rasped, using the tree to scramble upright.

 _Scary,_ Little Leo whispered, trembling and wide-eyed in his mind.

While Leo wasn't actually afraid of the dark, he didn't like being this small and weak out in the middle of the Northampton wilds at night. _It'll be all right, little buddy,_ Leo reassured him, putting on a brave face for the child's sake. His leg still hurt so he would just have to be careful with it. As much as he wanted to, running back to the farmhouse was now out of the question.

 _I'll get us home, Leo,_ the sixteen-year-old promised. _It'll take a while but we'll get there._

Little Leo's voice was calm and quiet as he said, _Okay, Leo. I wait._

Leo kept to the trees but made sure the river was always on his right. He would follow the river back up and then hopefully be able to find the path that led to the Jones' farmhouse. Little Leo actually proved companionable, rather than a hindrance. He hummed snippets of songs from Leo's memories and Leo supplied the rest of the tunes; he recounted some of the Japanese stories Splinter had told him at bedtime with Leo adding details, though he never corrected him; he talked about how green everything was here and the weird smells that were so different from the sewer tunnels' odors, and Leo sent him recollections of stargazing on the farmhouse roof with Donnie, berry-picking with Mikey, and basking with Raph in the backyard.

 _I miss them,_ Little Leo murmured, clutching his new Blue as he sat amongst the happy memories.

 _We'll see them again, don't you worry,_ Leo soothed. _Why don't you close your eyes for a bit? I'm sure that a very nice dream is waiting for you._

 _What dream?_

Leo smiled at the excited tone. _Close your eyes and you'll see._ He'd been saving this memory, hoarding it, really, because of how special it was to him.

In his mind's eye, he saw the little turtle curl up on the couch in Leo's mind's lair, Blue nestled in his hands, and close his eyes. Leo's smile widened at the sight and then he gently nudged his safeguarded memory into Little Leo's mind: the night they had gotten their own rooms in the new lair.

 _Leo enjoyed the new solitude and quiet but he couldn't ignore the sense that something was missing. He knew exactly what was missing. After fourteen years of having three extra bodies sleeping against his, he knew exactly what was missing. But he didn't want to come across as needy or clingy so he stayed in his new room, in his large and lonely bed. He was the leader, dang-nabbit, he had to set an example…_

 _His door creaked open._

 _"L-Leo? Are you awake?"_

 _At first he thought it was Mikey but it was Don. He sat up in bed, smiling into the darkness of his room. "Come on in, Donnie. There's room enough for the two of us."_

 _"Uh… about that," his immediate younger brother started. He opened the door a little wider, and Leo spotted Mikey's silhouette in the dimly-lit hall._

 _Leo fought not to grin wide. "Oh. Well, I only have my one blanket."_

 _"That's okay." Mikey pushed past Don into the room. "I brought my own."_

 _They took to the floor in a pile of pillows, quilts, limbs and shells. Leo and Don sandwiched Mikey between the two of them, the elder draping an arm over the small shoulders so his fingers could also brush Donnie's shell. Both of his younger brothers dropped off in seconds but Leo stayed awake, listening for the sound of ninja-quiet steps in the hallway._

 _He smiled. There they were._

 _His door opened a crack and amber eyes peered in. Leo immediately shut his eyes and feigned sleep; Raph would never join them if he thought even one of them was awake._

 _Tiptoes across the floor. A soft rustle of heavy material. A pillow set down by his head and Leo caught himself before he stiffened because Raphael hadn't slept beside him since they were twelve – since the leader ceremony. His hotheaded brother usually preferred sleeping against Mikey (something about the extra fat on the younger turtle that gave him extra cushion and comfort) but such was not the case tonight when Raph settled in, not quite close enough to touch his shell._

 _Well. That would be easily remedied. Leo shifted with a fake, sleepy mumble and half-rolled an inch backward – right into Raph's chest. Now it was Raph's turn to stiffen but the tension ended only three seconds later and his brother relaxed. To this day, Leo would swear on everything he owned that Raph had even nuzzled his shell before falling fast asleep, though he would take it with him to the grave._

 _When Leo, Don and Mikey awoke the next morning, Raph was gone, and the only evidence of him being there was an indent in the carpet._

It was his best memory. And he gave it to Little Leo who smiled in his sleep – if a mental projection in one's mind could sleep.

Smiling at the memory and Little Leo in his head, Leo kept walking.

The half mile back to the bridge took thirty minutes – an all-new record-slow pace for him that Leo was more than happy to disregard. The bridge was a sorry sight: its pillars the only bit of it standing. Cars, concrete, even remnants of a house lay scattered in the river that no-longer raged; the flood having moved off at last.

 _Those poor people,_ he thought again as he tried not to count how many vehicles he could spot on the bottom of the small ravine. All that life…just gone.

He turned away and then froze.

Was that light? What would that much light be doing out here?

He sniffed and then sniffed again. His stomach rumbled, bemoaning its emptiness, and Leo trotted away from the river in the direction of the light but mostly the delicious smells. He wouldn't get much farther anyway if he didn't eat, he told himself.

The tantalizing aromas of cooking meat brought him to a makeshift triage center about fifty yards from the bridge. Large canvas tents had been erected by volunteers and even the military. Leo ducked behind the bushes and peered out. He'd never seen so many people working together. Everyone was either working at his or her respective assignment or receiving treatment in the form of medical evaluation, food or a sleeping bag. Close to forty people looked like they'd narrowly escaped with their lives: tears glistened on some faces, they weren't wearing jackets that said 'Volunteer' on it, and they clustered together as families or newfound friends.

Some had survived.

Despite the late hour, the open grills smoked and the wind blew the promise of meat with bread and vegetables into his nostrils. His mouth watered and his stomach growled louder.

Placing a hand on his gut, he murmured, "Shh. You'll get food soon enough. Just shut up for now." He really hoped his body obeyed the order because he could not afford to get caught.

He took a deep breath to steel his nerves. He could do this. He was ninja after all. He was merely another shadow in the post-dusk light as he left the safety of the brush and flitted across open ground. He avoided the firelight and the lights on military vehicles' top bars with trained ease and at last came to a table piled high with full bowls and platters. In the blink of an eye, he had a bunch of grapes and a fistful of cheese. He put the cheese immediately into his mouth and swiped a water bottle and a whole wheat bun.

Nearing feet sent him ducking under the table but now he was trapped by legs on one side and a fire pit only fifteen feet away on the other; the flickering light played across his skin, illuminating him in the darkness.

He really, really hoped no one noticed him.

Looking around, his heart sank as his hope was in vain. A young woman with a baby in her arms was looking right at him, her wide mouth half-open in astonishment. She said something to the older woman beside her who nodded and took her child gingerly. The younger stood, picked up a blanket and strode across the open area between fire and food.

"Hello," said a voice which doubtlessly belonged to the legs trapping Leo under the table. "What can I get for you?"

The woman smiled at the other human, though Leo saw her eyes flick to his. "Oh, thank you but I've already eaten. I just spotted my son under your table and it's past his bedtime." She held the blanket wide and squatted down. "Hurry, before he sees," she hissed at him.

Leo had no idea what this woman was thinking or why she was helping him but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Ignoring the angry pull in his leg, he launched himself into the blanket and she skillfully wrapped him up, toes and head and all, straightened and walked away. They didn't go to the fire but away from it. The coolness of the air told him he was back in the forest.

She set him down carefully and unwrapped most of him but kept the blanket about his shoulders. "Leo," she whispered. "Is your name Leo?"

That startled him and he stared at her. "How do you know?" How could she know?!

She smiled at him and cupped his cheeks in a parental gesture. "Your family saved my life today. They saved over seventy people from a collapsing bridge. I heard one of your brothers say your name. They think you're dead."

Leo looked down as pain unrelated to his injuries ripped through him. "Oh." Another dead brother to mourn, it seemed.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her hands still keeping him in place.

"There's – there's a farmhouse north of here. I don't know how far it is but I follow the river to get there."

"There's nothing around here," she began but then she stopped. "You don't mean the Jones' farmhouse, do you?"

"You know it?" His eyes widened at her.

She smiled. "I played there often when I was a kid. Grandma Jones was childhood friends with my grandmother. Her grandkids were like the cousins I never had. But the house is abandoned. No one's lived there since Grandma Jones died."

"We vacation there sometimes," murmured Leo, honour-bound to be truthful. "We're friends with Casey Jones. We met him in New York a couple years ago."

"It's a small world," she mused. "The house is two miles that way." She thrust a thumb over her shoulder.

Two miles. He could make it, then. He had to make it.

"You're not going to walk, are you?" she demanded, her hands tightening around his shoulders.

Leo smiled kindly at her. "It's nothing I can't handle," he assured. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you don't have a vehicle to offer if my brothers saved you from the bridge. Your car's probably in the river."

"Don't remind me," she said with a smile. "If you're sure, though... The military has buses coming, though they're late because another bridge is out farther down so they're taking the long way. I could sneak you on…?"

"That's kind, but I'm sure I can manage."

"Well." She patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Then who am I to stop you?"

"Thank you."

"That being said, won't you rest for a few minutes? I don't mean to be rude but you look half-dead."

"I feel half-dead," he muttered.

"Then sit here and I'll bring you more food." She made to turn away but stopped and looked back at him. "You won't move, will you?"

Leo smiled up at her as he wilted into the grass, trying to not broadcast his injured leg. "Nope."

She smiled at that and trotted away. He ate his bun and grapes while he waited and sipped the water. She was back in minutes with a plate piled high with a sandwich, more grapes, some carrot sticks and another bun (though this one had butter on it) and two extra water bottles. "Here," she said, settling the plate in his lap, and he dug in enthusiastically.

Through a mouthful of deli meat, lettuce and cheese, he said, "What about your baby? Shouldn't you get back to, uh, it?"

The woman waved the questions away and took a seat beside him, adjusting the blanket higher on his shoulder where it had slipped. "He'll be fine for a little while. The whole adventure really tuckered him out. Besides, Eliza's taking care of him."

Leo chewed and swallowed. "What's his name?"

"Elliot. He'll be a year old next month… and an older brother in eight and a half months."

Leo eyed her hands when she stroked her belly absently. "Congratulations," he murmured.

"Thank you. You know, you're the second person I've told. My husband's on a business trip in Italy and I told him the minute I found out, which was yesterday. I haven't even called my mom yet." She gave a weak laugh.

"Most women tend to keep their pregnancies under wraps until the second trimester when the prospect of miscarriage goes down substantially," Leo said automatically, quoting Donnie almost word for word when Mikey had asked that one time where human babies came from.

 _Mikey,_ Little Leo moaned in his sleep. _Wait, Mikey. Wait for me._

 _He will,_ Leo promised absently, more focused on the way she stared at him, and he waited patiently for the inevitable question.

"You know… you're a walking contradiction. You're obviously barely older than two or three years old but you're so articulate. How?"

"It's a long story," was the dry reply. "Suffice it to say that this isn't my…normal appearance."

"What? You have hair?" she teased.

Leo snorted and water almost shot out his nose. He coughed, clearing his throat. "No, um, not really. My brothers and I are roughly around the same age. It really is a long story and it involves bad people, magic and a couple other things."

She blinked and leaned back slightly, her hands gripping her crossed shins. "Normally, I'd scoff at even the notion that magic is real but…you're sitting beside me. Your family saved us. I said it before and I'll say it again, you're amazing."

Leo glanced at her, confused. "You never said that."

"I didn't say it to you," she corrected, leaning forward again. "I said it to the one in the red mask. Raphael."

He chuckled into his sandwich. "How'd he take that?" He couldn't imagine hotheaded Raph being capable of taking a compliment with grace and dignity, let alone actual gratitude.

"I'm not sure," she confessed. "I think that I weirded him out a bit."

"Raph's the kind of guy who punches people more often than he hugs them," Leo told her. "I wouldn't hold it against him if he was a bit stiff."

"Well, that and the bridge was collapsing," she pointed out. "There were other things to think about, I'm sure."

"Hm. Fair enough." The little turtle moved onto the carrot sticks and crunched away.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Leo looked up at the stars barely visible through the trees' thick leaves.

"What's your name?" The question fell from his tongue and his cheeks heated when her head snapped around, her eyes – an unremarkable shade of brown – boring into his face. He rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I, uh, didn't mean to be rude."

"You're not," she whispered. "It's…very human of you." She held out her right hand. "Hello, Leo. I'm Danelle."

A smile tugged at his mouth as he took her hand; her diminutive hand dwarfed his three-fingered one. "It is an honour and a pleasure, Danelle. I am Leonardo and I'm grateful for your help."

"The pleasure is mine, Leonardo, and it was my honour to help you."

They smiled at each and let go, and Leo sighed. "Well, I should be heading off."

"Do you have to go so soon?" Danelle asked, honest concern in her gaze.

"I must. I've been away from my family long enough."

"Oh. Well, take the blanket and water. It's August but the forest is chilly at night, and you should stay hydrated." She stood and her hands fluttered awkwardly toward him but he got to his feet on his own. Barely. At least she didn't suspect anything.

"Thank you, Danelle," he told her, meeting her eyes. "May Fate be kind to you and yours."

Danelle squirmed in place for a moment before falling to her knees and throwing her arms around him. "Good luck, Leo," she breathed. She held him for a good minute and Leo let her, letting his head rest on her shoulder. Living with such different-tempered brothers, he knew hugs varied. Arms around the neck, an arm thrown casually over the shoulder, tired heads against the chest, desperate beaks buried into the neck; protective, comforting, reassuring, there were as many different hugs as there were stars in the sky. He had been hugged by his brothers, his friends and his father but he had never been hugged by a mother. It was strong. He was surprised by how strong it was. He had always thought a mother to be soft and doting like April, but he realized that it was the exact opposite: the embrace was as warm, fierce and powerful as fire; and it blazed against any foe who dared to harm the little one in her arms. For a brief moment, he caught a glimpse of something he had never even dreamed of, though he knew Mikey and even Raph had once confessed to wanting a mom, and during that brief moment, he envied Elliot and the unborn child for something he would never have.

He hugged her back, allowing himself sixty blissful seconds of what could have been if a lot of things had been different.

She squeezed him a fraction more tightly and then pulled away, wiping her cheeks. "You pass that hug along to your family, got it? They deserve it after what they did, though I know they deserve so much more."

"They deserve everything the world can offer," Leo agreed. "But thank you. Danelle, thank you."

The young woman sniffed and gave him a tender push westward. "The road's that way. When you reach it, turn north. After about a mile, there'll be a side-road, paved, and it will take you home. It'll be faster than following the river."

"Thank you," he said again. "I-I won't forget you."

"I don't think there's any way that I will forget you, Leo. You and your family."

With one last smile at this remarkable woman who couldn't have been more than twenty-six years old, Leo walked away and the forest's shadows swallowed him up.

Once he saw the road through the trees, he veered right, staying as out of sight as possible of any motorists. He kept the blanket around his shoulders and the last water bottle in hand. His leg throbbed steadily now but at least it wasn't bleeding.

 _That's right, Leo,_ he told himself. _Stay positive._

It was at the junction with the side-road, the one April and Casey had had paved so the ride in would be smoother, when a chorus of yips off to his left made him freeze.

Coyotes.

Stupid turtle luck.

He quickened his pace, doing his best to ignore his aching leg. He limped along the empty road, keeping an eye out for movement.

Another round of yips and closer. Much closer. And then they leaped out at him: four, lean predators.

Dropping blanket and water, he ran for all he was worth, his small size and his quick feet giving him an agility the coyotes didn't hope to have but they still had the advantage of numbers, especially when a fifth one launched itself at him from the side. He barely managed to move out of the way of the canine's teeth in time but the coyote's weight struck his right arm and pain erupted as he felt the elbow dislocate.

 _Well. At least it isn't another leg wound,_ he thought dizzily as he steadied his balance and kept running.

He had to be close. He had to be close now. Right?

Jaws snapped an inch from his heels and he pushed himself faster. His leg burned and he felt blood seep down his skin. Great. As if the coyotes needed another incentive to eat him.

At least, if he died, he'd see Mikey again.

He was also grateful that Little Leo was still out like a light in his head, completely unaware of the danger.

He cleared the forest and there it was. The farmhouse lay dark and silent in front of him, and for a brief second, the horrible thought that they'd left without him ripped through his head. But no. The truck was still here. April's car was still here. A dark outline of someone on the porch…

A coyote lunged and jumped on him, driving him into the dirt and clawing at his shell…

Leo slowly released them from the memory. "The rest you know," he finished.

-:-

[1] Article: _River Hazards_ by Tom Watson. Really useful, guys. If you canoe or kayak or swim in rivers, take a look.

Special Thanks to **Leo's Baby Sitter** for the idea that the Leos interact and thus bond during their time together. I think I'm ready for both Leos to learn to like each other. :)

Also, I'm taking prompts for other fics because my well of imagination has run dry. Still sticking mostly to TMNT for now so no other fandoms, please, at least for the moment. No tcest AT ALL! I will not do romance (unless it's between April and Casey and even then it will stay, like, PG or under) nor will I include any intense language, though intense battle sequences are another story. Will do death fics. :) Results will be one- or two-shots just because I can't handle another massive project right now. Message me or leave it in your review.

Please review.


	40. Chapter 40

**Rain in the Dark:** Yeah. I was getting tired of the angst between the Leos myself. I'm afraid that the mysterious purple light will remain a mystery for a while longer. ;) Leo's will is a force of nature. It has defied death itself numerous times. Hopefully it will see him through to the end, whatever and whenever that will be. I wrote your prompt: "Only Mikey." I thought it was funny. :)

 **DragonChild157:** I'm happy you're happy. I was getting worried that my cliffhangers were putting you off. ;) I'm currently kicking around another Danelle appearance but we'll just have to see. Unfortunately, she won't show up at the farmhouse; that I know for certain. Sorry.

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Allow me to squeal with you, then! Yay for cooperating Leos! Yay for Danelle being awesome!

 **karizmasimon1234:** I'm terribly sorry for scaring you!

 **prangersturtles:** Out of all the turtles, I swear it's Leo who has the worst turtle luck. Raph might be a trouble magnet but if anything can go wrong with Leo about, it will and in the most annoying way possible.

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** You. And your friends. Sit in a circle on the floor. And listen to you read aloud. My story? ... HALLE-FLIPPIN'-LUJAH! That is the kindest thing in the world! Tell your friends I think they're awesome! You're awesome, too, by the way! I remember reading a story about how this one character experiences a mother's love as if he were a mother himself (kind of spiritual hocus-pocus stuff). Anyway, he had expected it to be kind and soft and ooey-gooey but he'd been completely blindside by the _ferocity_ of it. That's where I got my inspiration for Danelle and her hug. She's a young mom, sure, but she's a mom, and mothers are fierce creatures. I'm glad you liked that fluffy moment between her and Leo. As far as Danelle making a reappearance, it's in the works. Hopefully. If all goes well and according to plan. I agree that it's good that Leo's been able to be in control for a bit but there's a price that he's going to have to pay for being in control for so long.

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Both Leos are definitely exhausted, and it makes me wonder who's going to sit through the healing. Little Leo, for sure, won't want to just because of the amount of pain involved...

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 40

Mikey stared at his brother and really, really hoped he didn't look as horrified and awed as the others did. Even Splinter regarded the blue-masked turtle with amazement. Sure, Leo had pulled some mind-blowing stunts before but this one…this one took the proverbial cake.

"Dude, are you even real?" he decided to say, shattering the stunned silence.

Leo turned bewildered eyes on him. "I'm not sure I know how to answer that question," he said slowly.

"No one does," Raph supplied, his grin a mile wide. "Seriously, bro, what d'ya eat?"

"Keptchy!" Little Leo piped up, beaming. "And cheese!"

Now it was Leo's turn to smile as he said, "There you go, Raph. The ultimate diet: ketchup and cheese."

"I'm going to write that down," mumbled Don.

"Ya've got an eidetic memory, Brainiac!" Raph reminded him.

"Well, excuse me for wanting to join the conversation without reminding my brothers of my IQ!"

"Two words, Nerd-brain: epic fail."

"Raph, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole mindscape!"

"Did ya just quote _Sherlock_ at me, ya…ya nerf-herder!?"

" _Star Wars_ , Raph? Really?"

"Ain't nothin' wrong with _Star Wars_!"

"Oh, no, of course not! Simply the blatant scientific _errors_!"

Mikey grinned and glanced over at Leo to see his reaction. Wait… Was he shimmering? Maybe that was the wrong word. He looked like a shadow passed over him again and again. He looked like he was fading in and out of existence. "Dude, Leo, are you okay?"

"Of course, Mike. Just a little dizzy from memory-sharing with you guys." He tilted dangerously to one side and Mikey threw his hand out to steady him.

Except that Leo went right through him. Fazed right through his hand like in some freaky sci-fi fic.

"LEO!" He scrambled away to give him room as his brother slumped to the floor. Flickered. That was the word. Leo flickered like bad reception on a TV.

The argument behind him cut off, and Splinter was beside them in an instant. His clawed hands hovered anxiously over the wane turtle's form, unable to touch him. The desperation and terror in his voice made Mikey's breath catch. "Leonardo, my son, what have you done? Where is your shield?"

"Gave it to him. Was the memory. My favourite memory…" Leo trailed off weakly. "I didn't think much of it at the time," he added, frowning a little. "I wanted to help him."

"What's the matter with him?" Raph demanded, his voice half an octave higher than usual.

Splinter sat back on his heels, aghast. "The memory he gave to Little Leonardo to calm down was his shield, a grounding piece of his psyche and personality that held the child back from consuming him."

"Little Leo's doing this to him?" Mikey whispered. His heart hammered painfully against his ribs.

"Not on purpose. His is the stronger mentality and Leonardo could barely hold his own against it. With the loss of his shield, I fear the worst."

"What can we do, Sensei?" asked Don, Little Leo held tightly in his arms to keep him away from their elder brother.

"Can't another memory work?" suggested Raph.

Mikey's heart sank into his stomach when Sensei shook his head. "It must have a great, personal meaning to him. Anything else would be insufficient."

Leo smiled up at them tiredly. "S'fine, guys. I'm not dying."

"No," Mikey bit out. "You're only being erased. Obviously, that's not the same thing! If you die, we can bury you and visit you and put flowers on your grave. WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU IF THERE'S NOTHING LEFT OF YOU!?"

"Michelangelo, restrain yourself!" Splinter snapped. "You are not helping!"

Tears streamed freely down his cheeks as he said, "No. Of course, I'm not. Leo did all the helping himself, giving the kid that memory…" He trailed off, an idea forming in his brain.

Could it work? Possibly.

Would it work? Only one way to find out.

"Guys! Donnie, Raphie, memory-share with me! We were there! We know what happened! We know everything! We can rebuild his shield with our perspectives of his memory!"

Everyone stared at him, and he wondered why because there was no time for them to marvel at his idiocy per usual.

"GUYS!" he urged. "Today would be great!"

Turning back to his brother still huddled on the floor, he closed his eyes and though it was not his mindscape, he was still technically meditating and so the world around them blurred, albeit slowly, and then burst apart onto the second living memory of the day…

 _He tiptoed down the unfamiliar hall to the unfamiliar door. He didn't care if his brother made fun of him for being a big baby. He would not stay in his lonely bedroom a second more. He knocked. "Donnie?"_

 _"Come in, Mikey."_

 _He entered hesitantly, trying to peer through the gloom._

 _"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" his elder brother asked. Mikey could barely make out his upright form on the bed._

 _"No," he answered simply. "It's…too quiet."_

 _"Yeah," Donnie agreed slowly. "Want to see if Leo will let us join him?"_

 _Mikey immediately brightened. "I'll get my quilt!" He dashed back to his room, wrapped the quilt around himself and returned to Don's doorway quickly enough that his brother had only time to get from the bed to the door._

 _Donnie chuckled and the duo was ninja-silent as they sneaked to their eldest brother's bedroom._

 _Don didn't knock but creaked open the door._ _"L-Leo? Are you awake?"_

 _Mikey couldn't see past him into the room but he did hear Leo say, "Come on in, Donnie. There's room enough for the two of us."_

 _"Uh… about that." Don smiled sheepishly and opened the door a little wider, revealing Mikey in the dimly-lit hall._

 _"Oh. Well, I only have my one blanket."_

 _Good thing a ninja was always prepared. "That's okay." Mikey pushed past Don into the room. "I brought my own."_

 _They took to the floor in a pile of pillows, quilts, limbs and shells. Mikey burrowed himself between his brothers, pressing his beak against Leo's plastron and enjoying the familiar feeling of his strong arm over his shoulders and Don wrapped around his carapace. He smiled, could have sworn that Leo smiled, too, and let sleep take him._

-:-:-:-

It was working. To Don's incredulous eyes, Leo wasn't flickering as much; his form was solidifying but not enough to get him out of danger just yet. The intellectual's heart pulled as he knelt beside his baby brother and his eldest brother, and closed his eyes…

 _Donatello did not like the new sleeping arrangements. Not one bit. After fourteen years of literally nestling amongst his three brothers during the night, sharing body heat and personal space, the quiet of his new bedroom was alarmingly lonesome. But he refused to move. If his brothers could handle the separation then so could he…_

 _A muted knock on the door and a whispered, "Donnie?"_

 _Don exhaled in relief. Mikey. "Come in, Mikey," he encouraged._ _"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" he asked as his little brother poked his head in._

 _"No," he quietly. "It's…too quiet."_

 _"Yeah," Donnie agreed slowly. Ah, to shell with it! "Want to see if Leo will let us join him?"_

 _Mikey's nervous smile transformed into a beaming grin. "I'll get my quilt!" he said before whirling out the door._

 _By the time Don made it to the open doorway, Mike returned with his blanket. Geez, the kid was fast! Don led the way down the hallway, holding his breath as they crept past Raph's room in case the hothead heard them breathing and came storming out to harangue them._

 _At last they arrived at Leo's door and Don didn't even knock, pushing open the door a fraction and whispering, "L-Leo, are you awake?"_

 _He was because he answered instantly, "Come on in, Donnie. There's room enough for the two of us."_

 _"Uh… about that." Don opened the door a little wider, displaying Mikey just behind his shoulder._

 _The surprise in his voice was genuine: "Oh." But it quickly smoothed into an invitation when he said, "Well, I only have my one blanket."_

 _Mikey had that covered and put in, quietly cheerful, "That's okay. I brought my own," and pushed past Don to get into the room._

 _They took to the floor in a pile of pillows, quilts, limbs and shells, and Don was more than happy to be the other bookend with Leo around Mikey. Donnie settled under the blankets and rested his cheek against his baby brother's shell. Sudden fingers brushing his shoulder made him crack an eyelid and he smiled at Leo's impressive reach, his arm draped across Mikey and long enough to include him in tender, familial love. He loved Leo loving them. It was his best quality, really. Leo would tell anyone that it was his honour or dedication or inability to lie or just about anything else, but Don knew the truth. Leo's love was an all-encompassing thing, letting nothing and no one slip through. His love was quieter than Mikey's and he preferred it that way. He preferred seeing the coffee maker running before he'd even started it in the morning. He preferred the silent presence in the shadows as they patrolled. He preferred calm and strong gazes to reassure, and a silent and gentle hand on the shoulder to comfort. Leo's love was easily given. It was never a trophy or a thing to be earned. It was always ready and willing and there._

Here, _he corrected himself as he dozed off._ It's always right here.

 _He wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not when he heard the bedroom door open but he didn't think much of it._

-:-:-:-

It was working. Raph stared in naked astonishment as Don's perspective of Leo's memory ended and Leo smiled, his form barely flickering. But he was still flickering, and he still couldn't touch anything; Sensei proved this when he tried to touch him and just…passed right through him. His brother still needed help, and it was a good thing he had help to give this time. He wasn't going to give up so easily again.

Sitting cross-legged on Mikey's other side, he closed his eyes…

 _Raph heard the whispers of feet bypassing his door. He groaned and rolled over in his new hammock, trying to fall asleep. Why couldn't he fall asleep? Seriously. It was not that big of a deal. He didn't know why he felt like there was this massive, empty space around him when he had pillows and blankets galore. His hammock was stuffed to capacity. He should have been comfortable. He should have been asleep an hour ago. This was ridiculous because he definitely and for sure did not miss his brothers sleeping beside him._

Fourteen years is a long time, _a quiet voice reasoned._ Old habits die hard.

Tryin' ta make new habits here, thanks, _he retorted._

 _He rolled over again and glared at his ceiling. Forget ridiculous. This was stupid._

 _It wouldn't hurt to check on them, though, right?_

 _He slid out of bed and after a moment's hesitation, grabbed a pillow and blanket before creeping out the door. Just checking on them, his foot. He was coming so they'd just have to deal with him. Too bad for them, neener-neener, all that jazz._

 _He eased open Leo's bedroom door and squinted into the darkness. For a brief second, he thought he caught a flash of navy irises but it was too dark to tell and it was gone the next instant and Leo didn't ask him what he was doing here or tell him to bug off; he didn't say anything at all, snoozing away with Mikey and Don under an arm, all of them piled on the floor._

 _No way was he sleeping beside Donnie. The turtle had a nasty habit of back-handing his neighbour in the face all the while muttering about chemistry and math and how the apocalypse would arrive via an Einstein-Rosen bridge – whatever that was. No way was he sleeping beside Don._

 _So that left Leo. Unless he wanted to be a real jerk and sleep in his eldest brother's bed but not even he would stoop that low._

 _He kept his sigh quiet as he plopped pillow, blanket and himself down on Leo's other side. Geez, he hadn't slept beside him in, what, two years now. Not since the leader ceremony. It was petty, he knew, but he had his pride, thank you very much. Now, here he was, no more than an inch away from Fearless' shell and yet… he had never felt farther away._

 _Then Leo mumbled something in his sleep and shifted, rolling back slightly until he was right up against his plastron._

 _Raph stiffened in surprise – did his brother know he was here? – but relaxed when he made no further move. And as long as his brother was asleep…he gave the shell against him a quick but heartfelt nuzzle, the scents of choji oil, chamomile incense and leather sheaths drifting through his nostrils. "Sleep well, niichan-tachi. Sleep well, ototo," he murmured before closing his eyes and dropping off into Dreamland._

"Raphael."

Raph snapped open his eyes to find Sensei helping Leo sit up, carefully supporting his weight. His once-again-solid weight.

"Well done, my sons. Well done indeed. Michelangelo, I am impressed."

Mikey didn't seem to hear their sensei because he was too busy wrapping himself up in Leo's arms, his beak buried in his plastron. If Raph saw tears leaking into his little brother's mask, he didn't comment.

"Big Leo okay now?"

The question and its voice made everyone turn. Little Leo was still present, still sitting on the couch where Don had left him.

Anger pricked Raph's heart but it didn't last long because, even though the toddler was slowly consuming his brother's mind and soul, he wasn't doing it on purpose and he was still baby Leo. He was still his brother.

With a long-winded sigh, the red-masked turtle got to his feet and picked up the child. "Yeah, little bud. Leo's okay now. How about let's put ya somewhere safe, 'kay?"

"Stay with Big Leo," the tot whined, reaching out for his larger version.

Raph did not fail to notice that the two Leos had certainly come a long way since engaging in mental battles of supremacy. "Sorry, kiddo. Not happenin'. We need ta keep ya two separated. We need ta keep ya safe. Come on."

"Okay, Raphie. Bye, Big Leo."

"Bye, Little Leo." Leo's eyes were exhausted and haunted but he met the child's gaze anyway before they fell on Raph. Raph just nodded and carried the little tyke away to the newly constructed brick wall. They passed through easily, and he suspected that Little Leo made it so. Setting him down, he watched the kid wander off to crawl in under a pillow fort, obviously tuckered out from everything that had happened within the last twenty-four hours.

Satisfied that the child would be all right, Raph made to turn away but something on a nearby table caught his eye.

What were Leo's katana doing in Little Leo's mind? If he recalled correctly, his brother had had his swords with him so how'd they get here?

Now that he was looking, he actually found a good few more things around Little Leo's lair that weren't supposed to be there: several books (including Leo's beloved copy of _Art of War_ ); a handful of Leo's favourite movies; his sword kit which lay open and used on another table; and a stick of basil incense was burning on a high shelf.

 _What is going on?_ he wondered. If anything, it looked like Leo was a regular visitor to Little Leo's mind but he knew that wasn't the case. He looked back at the brick wall and then to the items spread around the place. Forget visitor, it looked like Leo lived here and had only just stepped out for a moment.

Seriously, what the shell was going on? He would have to ask Splinter later. For now, though he crossed the room to the fort and peeked in to see Little Leo curled up and sleeping in a large quilt, Blue tucked in his hands with a mask tail beneath his cheek. How had Leo put it? If a mental projection in one's mind could sleep? Raphael smiled at the scene before tucking the corners around the tiny, slumbering body and stroking the little head.

"Sleep, ototo," he murmured.

 _Raphael._ Sensei's voice wound through his mind, a quiet command.

He slowly pulled himself out of meditation and blinked his eyes onto the sunshine that fell through the window, his father and brothers also bleary-eyed in the brightness. A glance down beside him told him that Leo was asleep…or unconscious?

Don lifted him carefully and set him on the couch, giving him a quick once-over. "He's stable," he announced after a few minutes.

Splinter nodded. "Very good."

"Master Splinter?" Raph began.

"Little Leonardo is too young to handle the pain his body is in," explained the rat as he got to his feet, Mikey assisting him. "What your brother did yesterday was one incredible feat after another, even for an older and more experienced ninja. The child will rest in his own mind. Leonardo, on the other hand, has no mental strength left to take control and safely orient the body through the healing process. Even if he did, it would be too dangerous for him as Little Leonardo's mental strength has only increased over the time he's been here."

Before the sai-wielding ninja could protest or comment, Splinter continued: "So we will help them. We will take it in turns to alert Little Leonardo when it is time to eat, bathe and so forth. We will shield him with our own minds through meditation against his body's pain, and hopefully he will be able to function well enough for short periods. Donatello does not have the equipment needed for your brother to remain inert for longer than a day, and longer than a day is what Leonardo needs to heal."

"But…he will be okay, right, Sensei?" Mikey asked, his voice small and fearful. "They both will be okay?"

Raph watched as Splinter enfolded the young turtle in an unprecedented hug. "Yes, my shisoku. They will both be all right, thanks to you. Your quick action saved your brother." He let go, cupping Mikey's cheeks fondly. "You are a credit to this family and wise beyond your years."

Even Don looked up at that, and the two elder brothers shared glances of intense pride at the praise for their youngest.

Nothing, however, compared to Mikey's expression. Small though his smile was, tearful and fearful though it was, it could not completely hide the glow in his face and eyes as he whispered, "Arigato, otosan."

Splinter guided the turtle's head down to place a rare kiss on his forehead and then released him. "I would speak with you and Donatello. Raphael? Watch your brother for a while?"

"Hai, Sensei," Raph said with a small nod.

While his family went upstairs to talk, he puttered around in the kitchen, clearing up the last of the dishes and reorganizing the fridge for when April and Casey returned to restock, but that only took five minutes. He stood for a moment in the middle of the kitchen, wondering what else there was that he could do and coming up empty. Plus, his wounded leg wasn't too happy about being up and about. He wandered back into the living room and settled in on the couch beside Leo, TV remote in hand. He kept the volume low for the repeat of some college football game he really wasn't interested in; his gaze fell again and again to the unconscious form of Leo, half on his shell and half on his uninjured left side, his head inches from his thigh.

 _Good thing he's left-handed,_ Raph thought absently as his fingers followed the patterns in the scutes he could reach.

Klunk meandered into the room and leaped up onto the couch. Raph eyed the cat to make sure he did Leo no harm, but the family pet only sniffed politely at the unresponsive, little turtle and then leaped down again to curl up on a plot of sunshine-laden carpet.

 _That's actually not too bad of an idea,_ he mused. They were cold-blooded after all, and sunshine helped speed up their metabolism and other med-tech mumbo-jumbo Don knew more about. All Raph knew was that, when he was sick or hurt, he felt much better after getting a healthy dose of vitamin D.

"All right, Leo," he whispered as he carefully picked up the toddler. "Let's go sleep in the sun fer a bit."

He packed soft pillows and blankets under and around him to support his body so his weight wouldn't be on his injured right arm and settled him on his plastron, being so gentle with the bound arm. "There. That's better, huh?"

There was no answer but Klunk mewed, hauled his body out of comfort, padded over to the turtle and curled up in the crook of his left side.

Raph rubbed the cat's ears and received a lick on his hand as a reward before turning, not to the couch, but to the armchair which he angled more in the direction of the sleeping pair.

About to put his feet up on the ottoman, he heard a car approach and got up with a short sigh. April and Casey were back. He met them at the door with a finger to his lips, motioning to the snoozing cat and turtle in the middle of the floor, and took April's bags.

"Where are the others?" April murmured, following him into the kitchen.

"Splinter's chattin' with Don and Mikey in his room."

The woman unloaded the milk and set it in the fridge. "I see. Did meditation go well?"

"Uh… Master Splinter can explain it. It's…it's kind of a mess. Leo's okay, though," he added quickly, seeing her horrified expression.

"Has he been in the sun long?" she wondered, putting a box of Mikey's favourite cookies on a plate on the table.

Raph snagged a cookie. "Nah. Just a few minutes. Why?"

She smiled at him. "He looks better than he did when we left. His colour's better."

"Oh." He hadn't really noticed but Don hadn't said anything either. He shoved the last of the treat into his mouth and prepped the table for supper which April got started in the oven: store-bought chicken pot pies. "Anythin' wild or woolly happen out in the great, wide world?" he asked as Casey came in with the last of the groceries.

"Ya shoulda been there, Raph!" Despite Casey's enthusiasm, his voice was pitched low. "Everybody was talkin' about what happened yesterday on Dooley Bridge! Folks were callin' ya angels and godsends right there in the store."

Raph recalled a very different angel and godsend: the woman who had helped Leo last night. Danelle.

"Some of them were witnesses who live in the area," April explained, propping her hip against the counter. "The military and volunteers came and got them to safety, supplying busses for where they wanted to go and food."

That he knew already but he smiled and nodded. "That's good," he said.

"A lot of the people here grew up with each other, were at each other's houses and stuff," Casey put in. "We're spread out but we're close. That's why everyone's talkin'."

"Several people came up to Casey to shake his hand, happy to see he was okay," added April.

"Hadn't seen most of 'em in years," said the man. "But they were friends with my parents and grandparents. It was nice to see 'em after so long."

"Yer such a country-boy, Case!" Raph chortled, helping himself to another cookie. "What are ya even doin' in the big city?"

Casey snorted and reached over, giving the turtle a noogie. "Keepin' yer head attached to yer body, mate. And, ya know, there's a lovely lady there, too," he added with a soppy look at April.

"You're such a smooth-talker, Casey Jones," the redhead quipped, though her eyes sparkled.

The moment was interrupted by Donnie and Mikey who looked slightly shell-shocked as they entered the kitchen, their eyes wide in their faces.

"Hey, guys," April greeted cheerfully. "Supper's in the oven and will be ready in about forty minutes. Cookies are on the table… Are you okay?"

"Raph." Don's voice broke and Raphael glanced up at his elder brother in alarm, pushing Casey's arms away. He cleared his throat. "Raph, Sensei wants to see you in his room."

"Is everything okay?" Raph had to ask. He had no idea what he was walking into.

"Just go." Don glanced away and not even Mikey would look at him.

What was going on?

His hand reached to take a third cookie but then he thought the better of it and headed for the stairs. He didn't dare look back to check but he swore he felt four pairs of eyes follow him.

It wasn't often that the turtle brothers had private conversations with Splinter. Private training sessions, sure, but not conversations and certainly not one after the other, though he had spoken with Don and Mikey together. What was so important that he couldn't just tell them all together and straight up? Was this related to what his brothers had discussed with the old rat, whatever it had been? Was this in lieu of what was going on with Leo?

Raph paused outside Splinter's door and lifted a hand to knock.

"Come in, Raphael," Sensei invited before his knuckles touched the wood.

He took a deep breath to steady his nerves and walked in, closing the door behind him and politely kneeling across from his father on the tatami mat set up. "You wanted to see me, Sensei?"

Splinter had his head bowed, his ears low to his skull. His whiskers trembled. "Yes, my son, I did." He lifted his gaze and Raph stared at the intensity burning there. "Raphael, I have been giving this a great deal of thought these last few weeks and I have come to a decision. If the worst happens and Leonardo is not restored to his age or he is lost to Little Leonardo, you will take over the role of leader of this team."

Raph stared at him, mouth agape, but no sound came out, his mind quietly short-circuiting, and Splinter continued.

"I spoke with Donatello and Michelangelo and both are in agreement with me. They will support you in this."

"I can't." Raph barely managed to get the words out of his mouth.

"You can and you will."

"I don't want ta."

"You don't want to?" Splinter echoed, his brows and ears high in surprise. "You have wanted this for years. You were disappointed when I chose Leonardo over you. You have worked hard ever since to prove that you could serve just as well, if not better."

"I can't replace him." Raph said it quietly, cutting off whatever else Sensei was going to say. "Please, Sensei…Dad, I can't. Not if we fail him. He's still _here_ so why are ya askin' me ta do this?"

"I am preparing for the worst."

"Ya can't ask me ta give up on him again!" The words, heated and twisted with accusation, denial and terror, snapped through the air, and now the tears came. He tried to hold them back, he really did, but it was too much in too short a time. They had thought Leo dead only to find him again only to face the terrible reality of losing him in a very different way.

He wanted to leave. Everything in his brain told him to just get up and leave without proper dismissal, without respect and without honour. But everything in his heart told him to sit and be still and to wait while he cried.

He did not have to wait long. Splinter reached for him and pulled him close. Raph's head fell into his father's lap and he sobbed: "Ya can't. I can't. Ya can't. I can't." His father's thin but strong arms wound around him and soft hands stroked his head and shell. He bunched the kimono's fabric, desperately and silently willing him to reconsider, but Sensei was mute as he hugged him and waited for the tears to stop.

At last, Raph cried himself out and sat up, wiping his face.

"Raphael," Splinter said kindly, "I understand all too well the chaos in your soul, for you are not alone in your fears for Leonardo, but you must understand that _someone_ must lead your brothers."

"Donnie…"

"Is too often wrapped up in his own workings to bother with what's going on around him."

"Mike…"

"Is too inexperienced. Despite his quick action today, I cannot consider him for leadership just yet."

"But I'm impulsive and a hothead. I can't think straight when I get angry –"

"Have you gotten that angry in the last month?" his father asked mildly.

Of course, he had… Wait. No. No, he hadn't. The only time he'd come close to brash action through anger was when Casey had said those nasty things about them to April. He'd almost smashed through the window and stabbed him but he'd held back for three reasons: one, Mikey had been with him and he wouldn't have allowed him to stab Casey; two, he would have felt bad after (maybe) for gutting his best friend; and three, he'd had this stupid feeling that Leo would somehow know that he had doled out unwarranted violence. Even before they'd realized he was trapped in his mind, Raph had suspected that something remained of their eldest brother in the toddler, something wise and knowledgeable that would have regarded him in disappointment had he acted.

Splinter smiled at his silence. "As unexpected as it is, Little Leonardo has done you good, my son. You are gentler than you were and kinder. Your anger has eased, and I am proud of you for learning restraint at last. It will serve you well as leader."

Raph bowed his head, dropped his gaze. "I still can't do it, Sensei. I don't know how."

"And Leonardo did? When I named him leader, he was just as surprised as you were. He confessed to me that he had thought I would choose you because of how strong and brave you were. He was certain I'd made a mistake and he admitted his fear to not knowing what to do."

"What did ya tell him? Ya had to have told him somethin'. Some great secret to bein' leader, right?" He couldn't keep the hope and desperation of out his voice as he lifted his eyes back to his sensei.

Splinter smiled at him. "I said only four words to him: 'I made no mistake.' And then I dismissed him. That was all he needed to hear and that was all he needed to know. He realized that I was placing my confidence not in what I hoped he could be but in what he already was: a learned and skillful ninja with a wise heart and an honourable soul." Sensei held his gaze with solemnity. "I place that confidence in you now, Raphael. You, too, are a learned and skilled ninja. Your loyalty is faultless and your passion stems from protectiveness of your brothers. You hold to honour in your own way but would never do an innocent person harm. I am confident in who are you are, my son, and I am proud of what I see before me.

"This is also just a precaution," he added. "I am preparing for the worst but that does not mean that I have given up hope for the best, and it most certainly does not mean that I am asking you to give up either. Take courage, my son," he advised, putting a kind hand on Raph's shoulder, "and have faith in your brother."

Raph knelt on the tatami mat for several, long moments; his mind in an uproar of denial and fear and hope. Fate, he hoped so much in those moments. He hoped for Leo to be strong, for their fractured family to find peace, for himself to be everything that Splinter said he already was. He hoped, trying to keep his head above the flood of fear, with all his soul as he whispered, "Hai, otosan."

-:-

Please review.


	41. Chapter 41

**2ndGenGeek** : Yeah, Raph has a couple things to work on, it seems. On the other hand, Mikey is doing so much better now. He's definitely getting this magic thing. Maybe Don should ask for his help? Now, there's an idea!

 **tarin2014tfan:** Thank you! That's so kind of you to say! I'm feeling for the clan, too, even though I'm doing all of this to them on purpose. :/

 **Rain in the Dark:** Yay, a nice, long review! (Mind, you always leave nice, long reviews so thank you!) Mikey actually really took me by surprise in that scene. He panics and in his panic, he thinks of something extraordinary and "idiotic", and his family's reactions were not what he thought: they were impressed but couldn't say it for shock and Mikey was already leaping into action. I never really intended any of them to grow up as they've done but I really do have to stand back and admire Mikey the most, though Raph is a close second. If Raph is good at anything, it's shoving unwanted emotion into a box, locking it up and kicking the box into a corner. I hope he doesn't have to step up, too, since Leo's my favourite turtle but... Time will tell. To avoid spoiling anything, I won't comment on the two Leos' minds. ;)

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Thank you so much! The possibility that they might not get Leo back is no-longer an off-chance. It's very real and very likely and that's scaring everyone, including Splinter.

 **crazysnowdragon:** I'm sorry that you don't like Raph as leader but for me he was the best choice to step in. Leo's also my favourite, so don't worry about your bias. ;) Thanks for sticking around! It means a lot.

 **prangersturtles:** Raphael is actually a very emotional turtle. Watching the 2003 series, I can remember wondering why Raph just doesn't say what he means to say? He always hides his true feelings for everything (except enemies and idiots) but when he's blindsided and overwhelmed, he succumbs (think of that scene when he cries in Tales of Leo). As for your question, Don and Mikey weren't mad at Raph. Remember, they gave Splinter the go-ahead to name Raph as Leo's successor without telling him first. Splinter purposefully pulled the purple and orange ninja aside to make sure that they would support his already-made decision. Splinter's been thinking about naming Raph leader for a while now but it's only in light of recent events that his fears are being realized: that Leo might never, ever return to them, and so he had to make a choice quickly. But he also wanted to make sure that Don and Mike were on board with it, that Don wouldn't throw a tantrum at being slighted (which is a low blow because Don's not a trantrum-throwing guy) and that Mikey could and would follow a new leader (especially after what had happened last night with the plate - can you guys believe it's only been a day since they all thought Leo dead?). Don and Mikey weren't mad at Raph, they were mad at themselves for going behind his back. Don's also still the second eldest (please note order of birth in the author's note of Chapter 1) and he feels like he's let his little brother down for shifting this huge responsibility onto him, even though it was Splinter's decision.

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** I will say nothing on the topic of the Leos and their minds and everything in them. You're just going to have to wait and see. :) As for Karai, she's quietly being her nasty, dishonourable self and we'll see her again before all this is over. I applaud your fanfiction club and thank you for loving my stories as much as you do! :)

 **Guest:** I agree. Poor Raphie. :(

 **Guest:** Yeah... I know.

 **The Once Caged Bird:** 911 Emergency. I'm afraid we've no available units in the area to assist you. Oh, you'll meet us at the morgue? Very well. I will send a pair of officers down and you can give them your report there. :) Glad you're all caught up! I've been wondering where you flew off to (pun intended) but I just figured life was getting in the way. Happy to hear from you again!

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Now that the fluffy enjoyment of having Little Leo around is winding down, we can buckle up for the ride. :) Everything will be explained in regards to the Leos, I promise. I agree that Mikey's growing up well. This last month or so has seen him become wiser and more grounded. It's refreshing, really. He's still funny and emotional and the youngest but he's maturing famously!

 **AlessandraDC:** I'm glad you enjoyed the memories and Raph's and Splinter's conversation. While Raph's needs and wants are not overly complicated, his emotions certainly are and right now they're on a roller coaster. Sadly, the ride's not over yet...

 **SparklingBlizzard16:** Thank you for reviewing all those chapters consecutively! Apparently, no one likes the idea of Raph being the leader. Sorry! :/

 **Adriene Alexandra Wayne:** Welcome to 'Brother Mine'! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I love that you love Raphael so much. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 41

Donatello tried and failed not to stiffen when he heard a quiet pattern of feet on the old staircase. He knew it was Sensei and he also knew the rat was alone; Raph didn't come down with him. He sighed and rested his head in his arms.

"My children," the ninja master greeted the two turtles and two humans who were all gathered around the table and talking.

"Hey, Sensei," said Mikey, looking up from his eighth or ninth cookie – Don had lost count. "Um…where's Raph?"

"Your brother is taking a nap before supper" was the calm reply. "Ah, are those Fudgeos?"

"Yes, Master Splinter." April smiled as she held the plate out for him and, to Don's surprise, he took only one.

"How is he?" Donnie asked, lifting his eyes to Sensei's.

"What?" Casey demanded. "He okay? What happened?"

Sensei held up a hand to stem the questions and then put that hand on the purple-masked turtle's shoulder. "He is understandably upset but he will come around. He has never been one to shirk responsibility."

"No," Don said bitterly, glaring at his arms crossed on the tabletop. "That's my job."

The grip on his shoulder tensed a fraction before Splinter crouched beside him to look him in the eye. "Explain, my son."

"I can't… He can't. I can't make him do it just because I know I can't do it. I'm second oldest, Dad. Leadership should fall to me."

"What? Leadership? Raph's leader now?" Casey stared wide-eyed at each face in turn before landing on April's. She shook her head at him wordlessly but the action was lost on him. With a harsh scrape, he thrusted his chair back and stormed out of the house, though he didn't slam the door on his way out.

"There goes Raph's best friend again," Mikey murmured and Don winced. Of course Casey would be remembering the argument he and his brother had had. Of course he would be remembering his and April's fight. Mikey had told Donnie everything, but what had stuck with him the most (aside from Casey's outlandish accusation) was what April had said in regards to what leadership meant to their haphazard family. Above all else, leadership was making sure everyone got home alive. And of course Casey would be upset about Raph becoming what Leo had been because Leo had acted as a leader and look what that had done. Because Leo had done his job, their family was being torn in different directions even as they struggled to band together. Because Leo had done his job, hope was fading and fear was their constant companion.

Don was still no closer to figuring out a counter-curse so on that front he had failed miserably. He had failed his little brother (as well as the entire family) for not bucking up and taking what should have been his by default.

"Michelangelo, go after Mr. Jones and sit him down at this table." Sensei's voice cut through Don's thoughts. "We are going to discuss this as a family. Donatello, stay where you are," he added, pressing down on his shoulder to keep him in his chair when he tried to rise.

"I should check on Leo," he began desperately.

"Leonardo can wait. The sun and Klunk will do him good for a while yet. Sit."

While Mikey left, the others remained silent and Splinter took his usual seat at the head of the table.

Don flinched when the front door swept open but was caught just in time to avoid banging against the wall and disturbing Leo and Raph.

Casey stomped into the kitchen, his face flushed and his eyes snapping. "Ya've no right ta do this ta him!" he spat at Splinter. "He might be yer son but he's my brother and I won't stand by while he suffers just because ya need to uphold this ninja junk!"

"Casey!" April rebuked.

Don looked from the man to his father who looked entirely unperturbed by the insult. On the contrary, he was alarmingly calm as he gestured to the chair Mikey held out for him. "Sit, Casey. Please. I mean to have a family discussion and you are certainly not going to be exempt from it."

Casey blinked at the usage of his first name in the rat's mouth and his butt touched chair. Mikey swiftly moved to his own seat on the other side of April.

Splinter sighed and then reached into his sash and set something on the table. Don stared at it. It was April's gift, the tessen. Sensei passed the war fan to him and Donnie took it carefully and uncertainly. "That fan was a gift," Splinter began, his raspy voice intense. "It is a symbol of the relationship I have with April. Donatello, please translate aloud what the charm on the base says."

Don turned the silver charm over in his fingers, displaying the kanji he'd glimpsed but could never quite make out. His mouth fell open and he stared at April who reddened under his wide-eyed gaze.

"Donatello, if you would?"

"Sorry, Sensei," he whispered. He cleared his throat and said, "Father."

Casey blinked, his blue eyes dancing between April and Splinter. The rat held his hand out for the tessen and Donnie complied, giving it back.

"Only a moment ago, Casey, you called my son your brother," the old rat said solemnly, "and I called you all my children. With the fact that we are all family here established, we can discuss _civilly_ the situation at hand, yes?"

"Yes, Father," the two turtles at the table murmured, April only a beat behind them and Casey staying silent.

"Good. Now, as you all now know, I have called Raphael to the rank of leader should anything befall Leonardo."

"Um, excuse me, Sensei?" Mikey ventured. "Perhaps April and Casey would better understand the situation if they were brought up to speed with exactly what's going on with Leo?"

"Fair point. To be brief, then. You are aware that two Leonardos exist within the same body: the toddler we see and the sixteen-year-old?"

Both humans nodded in unison: "Yes."

"You are aware that the older Leonardo can periodically take control?"

Again, nods.

Splinter sighed and Don mentally braced himself. "Then what you probably do not know is that the toddler, whose mental strength is stronger than Leonardo's, is slowly consuming his mind and soul."

Stunned silence met this and Sensei continued, "It is unintentional and while mental shields have been put in place to separate their mentalities, they only slow down the process. Leonardo's lengthy control yesterday to save himself almost destroyed him because he weakened his own mental capacity so much.

"With this in mind and knowing that no counter-curse has yet been found –" Donnie shrank in his chair, though there was no accusation in his father's tone – "I named Raphael leader on the very real chance that we may never restore Leonardo to his proper age."

"We're not giving up hope, though, right, Dad?" asked Mikey before Casey could.

To be honest, it didn't look like Casey was going to say anything anytime soon, judging by his tightly sealed lips, stiff jaw and grieving eyes. He almost looked worse than when they had come home yesterday without Leo and had broken the news to their human siblings.

"No." The reply was sound and firm. "No, we are not. This is a precaution only if the worst occurs."

"Bound to happen, then," Donnie bit out, looking at no one. "With our luck? Worst-case scenario always becomes our reality. When has it ever not?"

He knew he had everyone's eyes on him but he didn't care. The pies would be ready in another ten minutes but he wasn't hungry anymore. He shoved his chair back from the table, rose and turned.

And found Raph in the doorway.

"Worst-case scenario has never happened, Don," his younger brother said quietly.

He looked…awful. Donnie had never seen his brother with such a bowed head, such slumped shoulders, such limp hands and such tear-filled eyes. In the next instant, however, as he crossed the few feet that separated them, that head rose, the shoulders straightened, the hands lifted to clasp his shoulders, and the eyes brimmed with courage and resolution.

Don held that piercing gaze as his brother spoke. "Every single time we've faced impossible odds, we've come out on top. Every single time we've been ambushed or captured or whatever, we've muscled through. We've banded together. Worst-case scenario, Don, is that we die, and I dunno about you but I think we're all lookin' pretty alive right now. After everythin' we've been through, worst-case scenario has never, not once, ever happened. We've come close." Raph's voice trembled over the three, short words, and Donnie looked away, but Raph kept talking. Muscling through like he did best. No wonder Sensei named him leader when he was so much stronger than Don. "Fate knows we've all brushed with death, Leo more than any of us, but death hasn't taken any of us yet and it's not gonna happen any time soon. Got it, Donnie-nii?"

Don's head snapped up at the honorific he hadn't heard fall from Raph's mouth since they were ten. Calm and strong amber looked back at him, gave him eye for eye, and then the elder brother smiled.

"Yeah, ototo. I got it."

"Good." Raph turned him about and sat him back in his chair, taking his own seat beside him. "Make sure ya never forget it."

Don watched his younger brother look each person at the table in the eye, starting with Don and going clockwise to Sensei, Mikey, April and lastly Casey. While Don was pleased to see that he received supporting smiles of encouragement from everyone but the human man in return, everyone seemed to hold their breath as the two resident hotheads, one human and one turtle, regarded each other.

Then Raph spoke: "Ya look like crud, Casey Jones."

Mikey snorted behind his hand and April smiled. Even Splinter and Don cracked smiles when Casey's sapphire eyes softened, his body relaxed and he replied, "Right back at ya, bud."

-:-:-:-

Michelangelo had absolutely no issue with finishing off his elder brothers' pies. While he knew his brothers had several things weighing on their minds which thus inhibited their appetites, Mikey was a nervous eater. He even ate the last bit of April's pie; he couldn't help it. He would have also taken the last four fudgeos but Splinter had had only one and Raph two so he let the cookies alone, and instead followed the rest of the family into the living room for some quiet time. At last. He fell onto the couch with a quiet sigh.

The sun no longer fell directly into the room, and Klunk roused, stretched and leaped into his lap only to curl up there and resume his catnap. Donnie moved Leo's limp body to the smaller sofa and then promptly sat in a full lotus to assist him in waking up and shielding him from pain.

The couch dipped as Raph plopped down beside him. A dark, emerald hand rubbed Klunk's head.

Mikey glanced around the room quickly: Splinter stood beside Donnie, ready to feed and care for Leo while April and Casey sat in the blanket-nest on the floor from last night, watching TV. Everyone seemed preoccupied which gave him ample opportunity to talk with his immediate elder brother.

Stroking his cat's back, he whispered, eyes averted, "I'm sorry."

He felt Raph's gaze on him but he didn't look up.

"Ya've got nothin' ta be sorry for, little bro," he murmured. "It's not like ya made Sensei choose me. He said he's been thinkin' about it for a while."

"That's not what I meant, though I am sorry for that, too."

"Then what?"

Mikey could feel his big brother's confusion rolling off him but still didn't look up from petting his cat. "That we didn't tell you. Sensei asked us not to but…I'm still sorry. You should have had some warning."

"I'm glad I didn't," was the murmured reply. "Otherwise, I might not have walked up those stairs."

Mikey turned his head away to hide his tear-filled eyes. "Then…you really don't want this, do you? You don't want to lead."

A firm hand landed on his shoulder and turned him around. He looked up into strong amber. "I will do what I must," said Raph, "but I will not replace Leo." He held up a hand to stop Mikey's next comment and Mikey obediently held his tongue. "Ya told me once that I'm just like him –" Mike flinched at that cruel memory – "but what ya don't realize is that yer just like him, too."

 _Ya laid down the_ law. _Just like Leo._ Casey's words from so long ago echoed through his brain. Was it really true? Casey liked to pull jokes every now and then and at the time, Mike had thought him sincere. Now that Raph was saying it, too…was it true?

Raph nodded, his hand still on his shoulder. "Yer honourable and ya get the job done, one way or another (although yer creativity puts Leo's ta shame). Yer a good ninja and ya don't give up. Donnie, too. We've all got Leo in us. Maybe it's 'cause he's the big brother and we all secretly look up ta him." Mikey's eyes widened at the revelation: Raph looked up to Leo? _Raph_ looked up to _Leo_? "Don't go tellin' anyone I said that," he added in a low grumble.

Mikey chuckled softly and leaned forward an inch. Raph met him the rest of the way and their foreheads touched. He smiled and his brother smiled back, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Raph fell asleep a minute later and that was when Mikey displaced Klunk to the floor to rearrange his exhausted, big brother on the couch. Draping a blanket over him, he finished with setting Klunk in the crook of his stomach. Instinctively, Raph curled around the much smaller animal, taking in heat from the warm-blooded cat. Mikey smiled down at him, fiddling with a corner of the blanket before smoothing it out. "Sleep well, ani," he whispered.

As one brother fell asleep, another awoke.

"Daddy…" Leo moaned softly.

Mikey exhaled slowly, releasing his anxiety and fear as Splinter had taught. Exhale bad things, inhale good things. Resolve and firmness of heart filled his lungs. Raph was right: worst-case scenario hadn't happened.

Nor would it.

With that confidence in his mind and soul, he turned away from Raph and headed across the room to see if Sensei needed help.

-:-

Please review.


	42. Chapter 42

**prangersturtles:** I tried to Google translate it and all it came up with was Chinese (didn't specify Mandarin or Cantonese) as 'mode, pattern, fashion'. Is that right? I don't think that's right... :/ On a separate note, thank you! Also, the site blocked the city's name so I've no idea which city you were talking about. :P Here's your update, as promised.

 **Adriene Alexandra Wayne:** Don't you just love it when that happens? Just logged on and BOOM new chapter's already up! It's the most wonderful feeling! You are more than welcome for the welcome! :) I'm thrilled that you loved 'Champion'. The prompt was from a follower pertaining to games like musical chairs and such but, I mean, they're ninja! Besides, I've read far too many ninja-tag stories where Leo always comes out on top and I wanted to fix that. :) Thank you for your kind words! Funnily enough, I, too, have noticed that in some fics, writers tend to miss the mark on Leo and Don. For whatever reason, Mikey and Raph are easier but I'm glad that you think I'm doing well. Never be done! :)

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Donnie's not at all happy, you're absolutely right. He's got a lot riding on him and, honestly, I think being named leader would have made him snap. (I have a lot of reasons why it's Raph and that's just one of them.) :) We _all_ thought Casey was going to fly off the handle but one thing Splinter knows is that, just like him and his mutant sons, Casey's a bit of an outsider. He uses that and his general feelings for the man to affirm the fact that, yes, they are all family. They're not just friends, they're family, and Casey has had enough of a rough childhood to crave that kind of connection but is too afraid to make it himself (fear of rejection and all that). But there Splinter goes, calmly and easily naming the two humans as his children, rather than with a vague term that happens to include his sons. We're just going to have to see how well Raphael does with the leader's mantle. :)

 **Rain in the Dark:** Thank you so much! 'Spam bot', that's funny! I'm always grateful for everyone who takes a moment to write something, especially if it's more than just a line or two. I'm really glad you liked Casey's intuition with the door. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he is aware, more or less, of other people. As far as Splinter and Casey go, I can't really say they've been at odds because I never touched base on that at all, but Splinter has always viewed Casey as something between a friend and a son and only recent events have caused that perspective to shift more towards the latter. Casey's taken by surprise at the inclusion but I can safely say that he's pleased to have found a place that coincides with his own feelings for the ragtag bunch of mutants. I'm feeling for Don, too. He's got a ton on his plate and he can't succeed in any of it which is dampening his self-esteem. (He is actually glad that he's not leader on top of everything else but he's upset that Raph took the role; Don would be perfectly happy to not have a leader at all until they figured things out with Leo.) Don isn't a jealous type, you are correct. He's so proud of Mikey and how he came through for everyone. Magic is certainly not Donnie's forte and he's grateful for the help. Raph and Mike had a bit to hash out but they did it as brothers instead of leader and follower. Throughout the story, I've really done my best to hammer home the fact that Mikey takes care of everyone from Leo to Splinter and everyone in between. Raph's beginning to realize that his brother's care is not to be taken lightly. :)

 **Natalie Ryan:** I'm beyond happy to see your review! Thank you so much for taking time to write! The funny thing about the birth order is that, in the 2003 series, when the turtles were introduced to April by Splinter, he gave the following order of Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. Young as I was, I simply attributed that order to their birth order and it has stuck with me ever since. (Try erasing more than a decade of that kind of thinking, I dare you!) Which is also why the 2012 series threw me through a loop when I found out that Raph is second eldest. I had to google it to see if it was accurate and found controversy galore. There's not set order for the two middle turtles. Plus, this is fanfiction. :) I, too, love how Raph and Mikey have grown in this story. They're not as wild. They're still themselves but they're slowly leveling out. Raph still gets angry and irritated but he's more careful with it. Mikey's still a goofball but he's more cautious and aware of the repercussions of his actions. I have to say that I'm missing Leo, too. I need a Big Leo hug. But, polite Canadian that I am, I will concede your place of first in line. ;) I've only watched the 2003 series myself but I'm aware of the 2012 basis and a few points in it (thank Pinterest and fanfiction for that!). I simply put the note about it in the Author's Note of Chapter 1 on the off-chance I incorporated anything major into the story line which, funnily enough, hasn't happened, nor will, I think. About your left-handed remark: interestingly, I'm right-handed but I've always had an eye for how people move and what their dominant hand is. In the 2003 series, whenever Leo draws a single katana, it's almost always the right one which is drawn by the left hand. When he does have both katana in hand, he typically uses his left for emphasis or gesturing (recall that moment in "Prodigal Son" when he returns to the destroyed lair and faces the Foot robot: "You dare come into my home and do this?" he says while gesturing to the destruction with his left sword). It's a continuity I admire amongst the animators because, in cartoons nowadays, those kinds of things are incorporated or implied and then dropped or forgotten. I don't think it's an opinion (yours or mine). It's actual canon that Leo's left-handed.

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Leo's awake for the moment. More on that later. ;) Raph and Mikey certainly had a thing or two to clear up but they did it in a way that was calm and brotherly. Mikey will always take care of his older brothers, even if they think that role belongs to them alone. (Silly older brothers!) Thank you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 42

Two weeks passed quickly and smoothly without mishap, and the strange, little family made use of every moment to rest and recuperate and, in the cases of Leo, Raph and Mikey, recover. While Leo was the worst injured, Raph had done his skewered leg no services by running around and saving people, and had torn not only the stitches but also the surrounding tissue and muscle – though it could have been a lot worse, according to Don. He was under strict orders to use a crutch to get around, to avoid stairs as often as possible and to not go farther than the fenced-in yard. Mikey, who had escaped the raging flood waters with only mild scrapes, cuts and bruises, healed well and was back to his usual, bubbly self within forty-eight hours of the disaster. He worked tirelessly in the kitchen for every meal, giving April ample time to put her feet up and relax with Casey and the others.

It was noticeably quieter in the house and April knew the reason why: Leo. Unable to handle his body's pain, Little Leo had retreated into his mind and only ventured out at the coaxing of his family and with the promise that someone was shielding him mentally from as much pain as they could. With Leo also out of commission and incapable of taking control for even a second, the result was a comatose-like toddler who occupied, during the night, the small couch and a sunny spot on the floor during the day. Someone always watched him to ensure his well-being and even Klunk had taken it upon himself to sleep beside the toddler. The sight of the sleeping, contrasting green and orange creatures had prompted more than a few snaps of April's old Polaroid.

Two weeks after the flood, the whole family was parked in front of the TV for the afternoon, happy to escape the raging, August heat in the air-conditioned house. Leo was slumbering on the floor in his nest of pillows in the sunny patch, Don curled up beside him and reading. Splinter was in the armchair with Klunk in his lap, and Raph and Mikey were trying not to nod off themselves while April and Casey had the sofa to themselves.

Suddenly: movement. Splinter moved first, his ears flicking around and his whiskers twitching. Raph was next, sitting bolt upright with narrowed eyes. Don sat up slowly, his hands (having abandoned his book) reaching for Leo while his eyes were on the front door. Mikey stiffened and peeked over the back of the couch out the window.

"Cruiser," he announced in a hissed whisper just as the sound of an approaching vehicle met the humans' less sensitive ears.

"Took them long enough," Casey stated with a groan as he got up. "I expected them a week ago."

April stood and just caught the end of Splinter's tail as the mutants fled up the stairs. She didn't even hear Raph's crutch-aided steps and she shook her head.

 _Ninja_ , she thought as someone knocked on the door.

Casey opened the door and April took up position just behind the arm that held the door open. "Afternoon, Officer," her boyfriend greeted politely.

"Casey Jones, you don't recognize me?" was the humorous reply.

Casey was silent for a moment before chuckling himself. "Sam Weston, ya dog! Police let ya inta their ranks after all?"

"It took a while, yeah, but, yeah. I'm a lawman now!"

"Ya look good, Sam. What's this about? Not a social visit, I take it?" he added with a nod at the uniform and car.

"No. We're checking all the properties in the area to make sure no harm's been done. We've had a couple looting parties down in the lower parts so we're making sure everyone's safe and sound."

April duly noticed when Officer Weston's trained eyes fell on the living room behind them: the nest of blankets that was a lot for only two people, not to mention Leo's pile of pillows and Don's discarded book.

"You got any visitors?"

April quickly pounced: "We had a couple come through for a day or two. They left just this morning."

"And you just opened your house to strangers?" Weston's gaze was sharp but the redhead held ground, grateful that Casey was too shocked by her lying to say anything yet.

"What else could we have done? As far as we knew, the shelters and hotels were full of stranded travellers because of the bridges that got taken out, as well as lost homes. We had the room, anyway," she added as offhandedly as she could manage.

"They said their names were John and Mary but I think they might've been fake," Casey put in, catching onto the lie. "They weren't any trouble. Very polite. April even checked ta see if they'd taken anythin' but nothin' was missin'. Just a couple of people runnin' around the country." He shrugged, grinning that grin April loved so much. She smiled up at him and got a wink back which Weston missed.

"And they left this morning, you say?" Weston had his notepad out and was scribbling.

"That's right."

"And no last names? No place of origin?"

"Nothin' of the sort."

"What'd they look like?"

While Casey tried not to visibly flounder, April spoke up. "They looked pretty average," she supplied. "Mid-thirties, she was blond, he was a brunet. You know," she added, looking up at her boyfriend's bright, blue eyes, "I never even noticed their eye colour. Sorry." She glanced back at Weston with an apologetic smile.

Weston was quick to soothe her. "Don't worry about it. It might be something. Might be nothing. Well, thanks, Casey. Nice meeting you, ma'am. You keep out of trouble, eh, Case?"

"C'mon, man, it's me!" Casey said with a laugh which prompted a chuckle from the officer.

"Exactly," he chortled, and he turned away, the couple watching him from the door.

He was halfway across the yard when they heard his radio crackle and then his partner – his partner! There were two of them! – exited the car, pistol drawn.

"Sir, ma'am." Weston was back on their front porch, gun also in hand. "You're going to have to step outside. My partner caught movement upstairs."

"It's just my cat!" April explained desperately.

"My senior partner thought it was human," Weston put in as his partner went around back. "Please, Casey. Let us do our jobs."

"Yer not comin' in," Casey growled, and April's eyes widened when he planted himself in the doorway, hands on either side of the frame.

Weston's watery blue eyes were large in his face as he stared up at the taller man. "What? Casey, you've got an intruder in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?"

"It's fine," Casey bit out, lightning dancing in his eyes.

"Sir." The usage of the formal term in the official tone was not lost on anyone. "I'm going to ask you to stand aside."

"And I'm tellin' you, _Officer_ , that you and yer pal ain't comin' inta my house."

As testosterone and will power filled the air, April caught movement behind her: the partner was creeping towards the stairs.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" she roared, whirling around. She knew better than to pick up something or advance on someone armed, let alone an armed policeman, so she only threw her hand out and pointed with all due womanly imperiousness at the man who outstripped her by ten years. The pointed finger was enough, though, and the officer froze, one foot on the stair.

No one moved, not Weston, not his partner, and not Casey. She stared down the senior officer and said in a low hiss, still pointing, "Get out. Of my. House."

Clearly torn between wanting to do his job and outright fear of the raging redhead (not to mention the fact that they had no warrant), Officer Partner hesitated, and April seethed.

"There is no one upstairs," she said slowly. "There is no one else in this house except for my cat who doesn't like strangers and is known to bite. We're working on it," she added as an afterthought, in case these two decided to call animal control. "He's just still upset from the drive up. Trust me when I say that having an angst-riddled cat is beyond annoying and I won't have you mess up _all my hard work_."

Behind her, Weston chuckled, though the sound was strained. Officer Partner blinked and took his foot off the stair, holstering his weapon.

"Apologies, miss," he said, his voice low and cowed. "We did not mean to intrude. Good luck with your cat. Come on, Weston. There's still a couple more houses to check and they're not close." He touched his hat and side-stepped around the woman and the man, retreating to the cruiser with Weston on his heels.

April slid in front of Casey to watch their progress down the drive and, finally, into the shadows of the forest.

"That might just have been the scariest thing I've ever seen," Casey said, breaking the silence as he closed the door.

"I must agree, Casey," a voice said behind them.

They both whirled to find Splinter at the bottom of the stairs, Raph, Mikey (with Klunk in his arms) and Don who held Leo behind him.

The old rat took a step toward them, his face drawn. "April, my child, the man was armed and of the law."

"He upholds the law," April replied, lifting her chin. "He doesn't make it. I simply reminded him of the fact."

"Can we take her with us next time we patrol, Sensei?" Mikey asked. "The Purple Dragons would fall over themselves to get away from her!"

"Maybe not, Mike," Raph said, his amber eyes still wide in his face as he regarded April. She was astonished to see the genuine fear there.

"Definitely not," April seconded. "I'll leave kicking butt to you." She smiled and leaned into Casey who wound an arm around her. She felt strangely lightheaded, all of a sudden.

"You should sit," Don suggested as he settled the toddler's limp form on the floor once more. "You did just face down an armed man, officer or not."

"Okay," she squeaked, and she let Casey guide her to the couch.

"I will make you a cup of tea," Splinter said quietly, touching her shoulder with a gentle claw before silently leaving for the kitchen.

"Mrow!" Klunk jumped up into her lap and rubbed against her, arching his spine under her chin. Stroking him soothed her shaking hands.

Casey sat next to her and pulled her into his side. "That was great work ya did, April," he murmured. "I know ya don't like ta lie but…that was brilliant. They really took the cat thing."

"Most tend to," April replied, readjusting herself against the large man. "No sane person comes between an insane woman and her cat."

"Ah, yer not insane," he comforted. "Yer just you." He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek on the same spot.

"We got lucky." The words were out of her mouth before she thought about them and winced at the sudden tension in the room but her traitorous tongue kept going: "It could've been worse. I shouldn't have shouted. Their fingers were on the triggers. It could have been so much worse."

"Turtle luck true ta form," Raph said as he perched on the sofa's arm on April's other side. "It can get bad and worse but it won't ever get the worst."

"That is the poorest _I told you so_ I've ever heard in my life!" Donnie snapped from his spot beside Leo but he was smiling – probably out of relief but at least it was a smile.

Raph grinned at his brother and April snickered which only made him grin wider.

"I think you're right, Casey," she said, sitting up and accepting the tea cup Splinter gave her. "I'm definitely not the insane one here."

"Loud and proud, sister!" Mikey exclaimed.

While everyone chuckled and resettled their nerves, a quiet voice drifted through the room: "Donnie? I'm hungry."

-:-:-:-

Everyone's eyes fell on Little Leo who worked to sit up carefully, his right arm still bound across his chest. Don was quick to gently push the toddler back down, shoving away his shock at the fact that Leo was conscious on his own.

"Easy, Leo," he urged, his hand pressing against the smaller carapace. "How are you?"

"I'm hungry," Leo repeated, turning his head to eye the purple-masked brother.

"Michelangelo," Splinter commanded simply, and Mikey ducked into the kitchen to ready a meal.

"Mikey's getting you something to eat, okay? But it'll take a few minutes. Can you wait?"

Leo closed his eyes tiredly. "Yes. I wait."

"That's good. That's really good." Donnie rubbed circles over the sun-baked scutes. "Now I know you're hungry but how are you? Are you good?"

Leo blinked open an eye. "I'm good. Big Leo sleepy…"

"Yeah. Big Leo really tuckered himself out, huh?"

"Mhm. Donnie?"

"Yeah, little buddy?"

"April mad?"

Don glanced over at April who sat with her tea in her hands and was leaning against Casey, half in his lap as he drew his large fingers through the red strands that had escaped her messy bun. She smiled at him. "Not anymore," he consoled the toddler. "There were men in the house. They were good guys but they would have found us if April hadn't gotten mad at them."

Leo smiled. "Thank you, April. Protect brothers. Protect fam'ly."

"Ya don't hafta protect us all the time, Leo." Raph joined them on the floor, plopping himself on his stomach and putting his crutch aside. "Ya know that, right, bud?"

"Big Leo protect all the time," he countered. "Big Leo protect me. Me, too. Help, too."

"You can help by getting better," said Don, still trailing his fingers over the tiny shell. "Are you hurting?"

"No. Don't know. Hungry?"

"Food's comin', little man. Be patient."

"Okay… Up now?"

Everyone looked at Don and he had to swallow a lump in his throat. This would be the first time in two weeks that Leo would operate his own body without any pain killers or mental shields; he had no idea what to expect. They were quick healers but were they that quick? At the very least, he could let the child sit up so he could examine him with more scrutiny. Besides, his duffel was on the other side of the couch if he needed it.

"Gently," Donnie said, and he reached out and so carefully picked up the toddler and set him upright on the floor, piling the pillows around him more effectively. "Support him for me, Raph. I want to check him."

His brother immediately got up off his elbows and plastron to a sitting position and held the child with hands that had gentled considerably over the last almost-two months.

"Sensei? Would you mind entering Leo's mind to ascertain his pain levels?" Don asked the rat who hovered at his shoulder.

"Of course, Donatello. Give me but a moment."

Donnie gave him a full minute, more than ample time to settle into a rhythm and enter the toddler's consciousness. Then he carefully undid the binding around Leo's elbow and manoeuvered it, checking its range of motion. Leo flinched only a little but that was to be expected – actually, it was better than his expectations. He unwrapped the linen on his leg and inspected the stitches which still held: there was no infection and even the swelling had gone down considerably since he'd last changed the bandages.

"It all looks fine," he announced after several minutes.

Sensei opened his eyes a moment later, saying, "I can detect no major pain. There is still mild aching in the elbow and leg…" He trailed off and glanced at the resident doctor.

"Evidence of healing," Don replied confidently. "We'll bind his arm at night and when he naps so he doesn't accidentally twist it, and his leg needs to stay covered to keep the stitches clean but the wound is almost completely healed. I can take the stitches out in another day or so. Other than that, it all looks fine."

"Excellent work, my son." Sensei touched his shoulder and shifted around him to take the toddler in his lap. "And you did very well, Leonardo. I believe your food is about ready."

"How you can do that is beyond me, Sensei." Mikey startled just about everyone in the room when he entered on silent ninja-feet with a bowl of soup, some bread and a sippy cup full of apple juice.

"Geez, Mike! Scare us all outta our shells, why doncha?" Raph hissed.

Don noticed their father's whiskers twitch, as well as the twinkle in his eyes, as he said, "Well done, Michelangelo."

Mikey beamed at their father and settled himself on the floor. "Here we go, bud. Chicken noodle soup."

"My fav'rite. Thank you, Mikey. Keptchy?"

Raph pulled a face while Donnie snorted a laugh. "Uh, no. We're not gonna put ketchup in yer soup, kiddo. That's gross."

Tired Little Leo was the best Little Leo because he simply and calmly said, "Oh. Okay." With that, he dug in haphazardly, Splinter holding the bowl and the toddler steady while he ate.

 _Thank goodness, Leo's left-handed,_ Don thought as he picked up Andreas Vesalius and threw himself down on the abandoned pillow pile. It was good that he was healing… That they both were. Leo had gotten stronger slightly since the flood but Don knew that Sensei worried for him. He frowned at the print on the pages, not really seeing it. It helped that he and his brothers had given him their perspectives of some of his favourite memories. Ironically, all of them revolved around, well, them. Them being together. None of them were about his accomplishments, like that time he had perfected a brand new kata inside of a week or when he had finally beaten Mikey in a foot race (Raph had rubbed that one in their baby brother's face for months). No, all of Leo's memories, the ones which they had discovered founded his psyche and personality, were all about them and times that Donnie himself had long since forgotten: movie nights with April, Casey and Sensei; joy-riding with Raph on the Shell-Cycle; cooking and gaming with Mikey; tinkering with Don in the lab; and games. Endless, unimportant games like ninja tag across the rooftops, hide and seek in the lair and surrounding sewers, and swimming in Springtime at the farm but always, always with them. It wasn't as effective if Leo had had the memories as his own but he had given away too much in the week leading up to the disaster in an attempt at peace. It had cost his brother so much but they would not let him fade away without a fight, not when they had their own perspectives to supply. It was a sick twist of fate that Leo's memories were theirs, as well; Don could only shudder at the thought of trying to construct a mental shield with memories that weren't his and no longer existed. It was a good thing that, even though Leo hadn't always spent the most time with them, his best times were always being wherever they were.

Don's gaze drifted from the page to his family only a few feet away. Splinter was trying to get another spoonful into Leo who was giggling at Mikey because the orange-masked ninja was making faces at him: puffing out his cheeks and crossing his eyes. Even Raph was fighting not to smile. A few feet beyond them were April and Casey, snuggled against each other, her head on his chest, and chortling themselves.

He smiled. _Nothing has changed._

The thought came through his brain as swiftly as if it had been there for the last five weeks, and his breath caught in his chest. Sensei was right. They really were the same. They both thrived in and lived for the family. Big Leo and Little Leo were the exact same person, one just happened to be younger.

 _One to two. Two to one._

Donnie felt his eyes widen. It had been in the book the whole time. There was a counter-curse. It wasn't spelled out in plain print. It was hidden, like everything else about this situation, behind a wall. Except the wall was not made out of brick and mental strength. It was made out of ignorance, naivety and fear. He was the wall. He had feared for the longest time that they wouldn't fix this because it was magic, and the stupid turtle that he was, he had turned a blind eye to the inner meanings of the text that currently sat on his bedside table upstairs. He had turned a blind eye to the subtext in his brother's meticulous journal – also upstairs.

"Daddy?" Leo's quiet voice cut through his epiphany. "Go-go home?"

"Would you like to go home, Leonardo?" Splinter asked gently.

"I kinda hafta agree with Leo, Sensei," Raph put in. "I'm all vacation'd out."

"I second that," said Mikey.

"Donatello?" Donnie sat up and turned his eyes on Father as he continued, "Is Leonardo well enough to travel?"

It took every ounce of his will power to calmly say, "Hai, Sensei. There's no problem." He needed to get back upstairs. Now.

"Very good. April, Casey," he began, his black eyes lifting to the two humans on the couch.

"We'll have everythin' ready fer ya whenever ya wanna go, Splinter," Casey said kindly. "We were gettin' a bit low on supplies anyway so we can just pack it all up and stick it in the fridge in the truck. Tomorrow?"

Don met his brothers' gazes and Sensei's. They all nodded.

"Tomorrow sounds great," said Raph. "But I'm still not gonna pack up all those blocks."

"Nose game!" Mikey cried.

In the end, Casey would be the one to hunt down all eleven hundred pieces of April's gift to Leo.

Don excused himself over the gales of laughter and retreated to his room to once more read _Magic and the Mystical_ with Leo's notes. After all, magic was just science he didn't know about yet. And if there was anything Donatello didn't know about that was even remotely science-related, he found out as much about it as he could. That counter-curse could not hide from him anymore, and he was not called a genius for nothing.

-:-

Sorry that not a lot happened in this chapter. This week was brutal (but good). Action-stuff is right around the corner and this story is wrapping up quicker than I expected. ;)

Please review.


	43. Chapter 43

**karizmasimon1234:** That's actually a really good idea. I was originally kicking around the idea of a sequel but because of the new ending, that plot isn't likely to happen. But a pleasant two-shot or something short would wrap it up nicely. :)

 **tarin2014tfan:** Donnie has something. I'm not sure if he has 'it' per se. But he definitely has something. Time will tell.

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Oh, honey, that cliffhanger is nothing compared to what's coming... Dun, dun, dun! I'm glad you had a few laughs, though. Magic is a funny thing because sometimes it goes awry in the most skilled hands and then it works flawlessly in the untried but willing hands (at least as far as fiction goes). A lot of working magic is simply believing and wanting, and Don's finally understanding that.

 **Natalie Ryan:** Haha! Your left-handed rant was funny! A couple of things still have to happen before we reach the end. Funny that you mention the Foot...

 **Rain in the Dark:** Casey has friends who climbed the ladder of hard work to high places, but, yes. ;) I honestly don't know who alerted the police (I'm thinking Mikey but it's so cliche of him to mess stuff up so, yeah, not too sure). April might not like to lie but she knows how to tell and sell a story. She'd make a great actress. She played her strengths but not so much that the officers considered her a threat. The whole thing is, indeed, quite suspicious and that's the main reason why the family's heading out: secrecy above (almost) all else. Don't worry, though, we won't see Weston or his partner again. Competent they are, but not even they can get a warrant inside of twenty-four hours, not when officials have more than enough to do without also running around after "John and Mary". Haha! Don pulling a Reed Richards would be quite satisfying. Mikey still is Mikey, thank goodness, and I hope that never changes. As far as ketchup goes...yeah, that's still leftover from my own niece (roughly around the same age as Little Leo) who put ketchup on her freaking watermelon! She just had this thing for it, though I think she's growing out of it. Mercifully.

 **MysticLeo80:** I miss Leo as the eldest, too.

 **MysticMikey93:** Sisters, wow! I'm glad to have you both! Thank you for your review!

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Congratulations, you're the 200th review! Thank you! I know, I know, the end is coming. I'm upset, too. It's been an absolute thrill writing for you guys, and you all have been so kind! Still, we've a thing or two to see and do before all is through. Wait...that all rhymes. :/

 **Author's Note:** I know this is early but I spent all day Sunday and Monday working on this one. I'll see if I can get Chapter 44 up for Thursday but I can't make any promises. Don't hate me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 43

Five hours later found Don, open books across his knees, closing his eyes to meditate.

Inhale. Exhale. Be quiet. Be calm. In. Out. Quiet. Calm.

His brother's mind unfolded before his spiritual eye, hazy and faded. The lair smeared together and gave him an immediate headache as his eyes tried to bring the environment into focus but to no avail. He was sure that some of the rooms had vanished, including his lab, the kitchen and the dojo. The living room flickered sporadically but the bedrooms on the second floor still held strong. Leo's was the only one that didn't look even remotely fuzzy.

"Leo? Hey, Leo? Are you here?"

"I'm always here, Donnie." Leo materialized out of the air, giving Don the scare of his life – not because of his sudden arrival but because of his appearance. Much like Raphael on the day he'd been named leader, Leo looked…awful. He was supposed to be stronger but he was so weak. He was slightly transparent now and his form blurred when he moved too quickly. His eyes were sunken and dim, the navy almost black, and his skin was sallow and a sickly sage colour rather than his healthy leaf-green. He still wore his bandana (washed-out blue) but the swords and their sheaths were gone.

"Leo." The name came out as an exhaled whisper of fear. What had happened? He hadn't looked like this yesterday when they had all meditated together.

His brother tried to smile. "Sorry," he rasped. "I wasn't expecting you."

"You…you're _faking_? How? Why?"

"I didn't want you to worry so much. It's why the lair's fading: I'm re-channelling the energy I put into it into me instead."

"But the lair helps anchor you!" Don protested, aghast. "It helps to keep you from fading entirely!"

Leo shrugged silently and Don surged forward, grabbing his brother's shoulders. Thank Fate he didn't pass through him. "You can't keep doing this! Do you hear me? You can't worry about us right now. You need to worry about you. Does Sensei know?"

He shrugged again. "He suspects…I think. I just don't know what else to do, Donnie."

"Take care of yourself! Goodness and love, Leo, you're killing yourself to spare our feelings! Do you have any idea how stupid that is? Did you ever stop to think about what we'd do without you?"

"You've been managing just fine…" Leo began but Donnie cut him off.

"Don't you say that! Don't you _ever_ say that! Do you think Raph _wants_ to take your place? He's freaking out! Mikey's freaking out! Even Sensei's panicking. _Sensei_ , Leo! Our dad is worried out of his mind! For _you_!"

"Okay, Don," Leo said quietly. "I get it. I'm sorry."

Tears burned in the purple-masked turtle's eyes as he said, "That's just it because I don't think you do. Two weeks ago, for almost eight hours, we all thought you dead. We _mourned_ you. We were a _mess_. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't help our brothers, Leo. And Sensei…he was just as lost." The memory of poking his head out the front door to see Mikey on the porch swing and weeping into their father's arms, and Father's own tears was burned into his brain.

He forgot that this was Leo's mind and when the memory flashed across his eyes, Leo visibly flinched, his gaze filled with pain as he, too, witnessed the memory. "I'm sorry, Donnie. I'm so sorry."

"Being sorry isn't enough this time, bro," he told him. "You have to do something about it."

"I don't know…" he started.

Don smiled and patted his shoulders. "That's okay because I have an idea. I was reading _Magic and the Mystical_ again and I think I found something. Remember when I told you that I found that little inscription on the day of the flood? 'One to two, two to one'?"

Leo nodded. "I remember. I've been thinking about it but…I don't have enough energy to conjure a copy of the book in here to double check."

"That's fine. You don't have to," Don assured him. "Listen, I've been thinking about you and Little Leo, and I think Sensei's right."

"About what?"

"About everything! About you two! You're not separate at all! You're the same person!"

"Come on, Donnie." Leo rubbed a hand over his eyes. "We've been over this."

Don huffed. His brother was as stubborn as ever. "You can't deny the reality of the situation, Leo. Can't you feel how right it is? You've always been the most sensitive to spirits. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't even have a shred of doubt in your theory, that you don't think that I might even just be a little bit right."

Leo met his searching gaze. "You've…never been wrong before. And…neither has Sensei."

"Exactly. Here's the thing, though. According to what I've been reading, you need to come in contact with the same magic that made you like this."

Despite being exhausted, Leo's eyes bugged. "Are you going to shoot me?"

Don blinked in sudden horror. "What? Oh, shell, no, Leo! No! Use the gun on you again? That would end you! It would reduce you to dust! There'd be nothing left of either of you! No. From what I've been able to find out, there's some kind of residue magic lurking around in one of your minds. It can be anything, though, so finding it will prove difficult. The kicker is that only you can find it because you're the only who's come in actual contact with the magic."

"And what do I do with it? Just touch it?"

Don swallowed nervously and said quietly, "That's the thing. I'm not entirely sure. The passage talks about 'holding close' so I guess a simple touch won't cut it. Contact must be held for more than a few seconds. That and you can't let go. Whatever form this magic is in must dissolve completely in order for the spell to be completely reversed or you could end up halfway between when you are now and when you're supposed to be."

"A ten-year-old wouldn't be as bad."

Of course Leo's humour would shine through now. His sense of timing sucked. "We still need you as you, Leo," Don said firmly, no joke in his tone or face. "We need our fearless leader."

"All right, Don," Leo said with a small smile. "I'll start looking. Um…how do I know when I find it?"

"I'm not sure about that either." Don took a deep, calming breath and willed the book into his hands. It fell open across his palms on the correct page. "Right here, see? All it says is that 'light will reveal the way'."

"Something bright?" Leo guessed, already musing and speculating. "Ah, don't worry, Donnie. I'll figure it out." His brother leaned against him, wrapping weak arms around him. Don hugged him back, and, on a whim, silently gave him another memory…

 _His room's quiet and his blissful sleep snapped at the sound of the door creaking open._

 _"Don? Donnie? Are you awake?"_

 _He rolled over, blinking blearily through the darkness. What was his big brother doing in his room? "Leo? Ugh, what time is it? Practice doesn't start for three hours."_

 _"I know, um, I'm sorry," Leo stammered. "I'll, uh, I'll go."_

 _That caught Don's attention because his brother never stammered and rarely used filler words like 'um' and 'uh' unless he was really tired and really upset about something. Always that combination. Never one or the other. Always tired and upset. "What's wrong?" he asked before Leo could retreat out the door._

 _"Nothing. It's…it's nothing. Go, um, go back to sleep, Don."_

 _"Leonardo." While Don was neither the eldest nor the leader, he possessed his own authority and while he didn't use it often, all it took to establish it and get his brothers to listen to him was using their full names._

 _There was a heavy pause and then, so soft and quiet, "I had a nightmare."_

 _Oh._

 _Don didn't know whether to be alarmed or pleased. Leo hardly ever divulged the fact that he sometimes had it rough and knowing that he was going through something hard made his heartrate pick up. At the same time, though, Leo hardly ever asked for help and the fact that he was turning to Don warmed the genius turtle's fifteen-year-old heart._

 _"Well, don't just stand there," Don decided to say, letting a genuine smile show in his voice. "Climb in."_

 _He saw the door close but after that he didn't see or hear anything and he jumped a little when the bed sagged as another body settled beneath the blankets._

 _"Thanks, Don," his leader and big brother whispered. It was because they were right next to each other that Donnie finally caught the slight tremors in Leo's voice. That nightmare had to have been a doozy._

 _Don lay back down and slung an arm over his shoulders. "Any time, bro," he said. "I'm right here for you." He paused then added, "I mean it."_

 _Leo was quiet for a long moment before saying, "I know."_

Don wrapped his arms more tightly around Leo as the memory faded from both their minds. He was glad to see that he wasn't as transparent as before and there was a bit more colour to his skin. "It's still true, Leo. I'm still right here for you."

Leo touched his forehead to his and replied, "I haven't forgotten, little brother."

-:-:-:-

Mikey didn't see hide or mask of Don for the rest of the day after he'd gone upstairs, mumbling about 'getting back to the books'. Because he'd already had a book in hand, Mikey knew instantly which books he had referred to so he had let him be and concentrated himself first on packing as much of everything as he could and then moved on to preparing supper.

"Ya sure I can't help ya out, Mike?"

The young turtle rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. "Yeah, Raph. I'm fine." A few weeks ago, Mike would have called Raph wanting to help strange, frightening even, but that was before this load of suck had gotten dumped on them. That was before Raph had been named leader. That was before a lot of things had happened. But even if Raph didn't want to obey Doctor Don's orders to stay off his leg as much as physically possible, Mikey was more than happy to remind his immediate elder brother of them.

Turning away from the deli-meat sandwiches, he raised a brow ridge at his brother. "Seriously, Raph. Go sit down. If I catch you trying to help one more time, I'm gonna go upstairs and interrupt whatever Don's doing and tell him what _you're_ doing."

Raph frowned, his amber eyes narrowing, but Mikey stood his ground. If his brother fell back on leader authority, he knew he could play the 'Doctor Don trumps everything' card. Heaven knew he'd used it on Leo in years gone by.

Finally, "Just thought ya needed help is all," he muttered.

Mikey's heart sank in his chest and he grabbed his brother's shoulder before he could leave the kitchen. "You can help by getting better," he told him.

Raph's head whipped around and Mike smiled a little. They were, after all, Raph's words to Leo only a few hours ago. His brother shook his head with a tiny smirk. "Why Splinter ever named me leader is beyond me."

Mikey didn't really know what to make of that comment so he let it slide and said instead, "Even leaders need to obey their dads, Raphie."

Raph stared at him for a long moment before hesitantly patting his hand on his shoulder and walked away. Mike poked his head around the doorway to see him settle onto the couch with a muted hiss. Yeah, his leg was still bugging him. He put on an impressive front, though, he had to give him credit for that.

Satisfied that Raphael would stay down, Mikey returned to supper.

The meal was louder than usual, now that Leo had woken up but Don didn't show. Mikey even went to get him but he found him buried beak-deep in books and he hadn't answered when he'd called.

"He'll eat later," was all he said upon his return to the table, and Mikey dutifully set a sandwich aside for his brother. He knew his brother would emerge eventually.

"Brainiac's been at it all afternoon," Raph said quietly. "Do ya think he's onto somethin'?"

"He's always onto something," Mikey replied absently.

Then Sensei spoke: "I can feel your brother's energy, my sons. His investigations have proved fruitful but it seems that reversing the spell is up to Leonardo."

"Leo?" Mike echoed, looking up. "Can't we help?"

Splinter smiled sadly at him. "I'm afraid not, my son." He looked down at Little Leo who sat in his lap (they didn't want to risk damaging his leg by getting him in and out of the highchair). "All we can do is hope."

 _It seems like that's all we can do,_ Mikey thought dismally.

He didn't let that stop him, though. He was a whirlwind well into the night, assisting April, Casey and Sensei with packing and prepping the house: covering furniture with cloths, sweeping and dusting, and cleaning out the fireplace which they hadn't gotten around to since the night Leo had pulled off another miracle and returned to them. Close to midnight, he saw Raph to bed then poked his head into Donnie's room. His brother sat in almost complete darkness. Clearly meditating, he had the magic book and Leo's journal open in his lap.

"Don?" he ventured, sliding forward with the sandwich in hand. "Donnie? You missed supper, bro. I thought I'd bring it to you…" He trailed off at the lack of response. Wordlessly, he set the plate down and retreated out the door.

Sleep eluded him. Try as he could, he couldn't shake a…bad feeling. It wasn't unheard of – they were ninja, after all, and Master Splinter always urged them to become more aware of things to come – but at the same time, he just wanted to sleep. Anxiety and fear rippled through his body. He didn't think he had ever been so worried about his family before in his life. He had worried about individuals when they had gotten hurt but never the family as a whole. Sensei tried to put on a brave front but it was obvious (to him anyway) that he was out of his mind with fear for Leo. Don was already showing telltale signs of the singlemindedness that consumed him when he faced a challenge (not eating, secluding himself). Raph was leader now and oh, Fate, how he wished he weren't. Not that Mike thought his brother would do poorly as leader but he knew his brother's feelings and, like Raph, he didn't want anyone to replace or give up on Leo. April had started to hover more, checking up on them all randomly to see if they needed or wanted anything. Even Casey had become quieter. The man would have hung out with Raph all day but with the impending departure, he'd wanted to make sure the truck was good and ready to go. Like Don, Mikey hadn't seen him much after the cop-incident earlier that day.

He rolled over for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour and Klunk mewed in his sleep. Mikey reached out and stroked the soft fur. He shifted closer to his pet, winding his hands around the little body and bringing him closer. Tears pricked his eyes as he remembered the porch swing two weeks ago.

 _It's not gonna happen, Mike,_ he told himself. _Worst-case scenario hasn't happened and it won't._ Not if he had anything to say about it.

Regardless of his resolution, Mikey found himself just barely dozing off when someone knocked on his door. "C'mon, Mike, get up!" Raph called through the thin wood. "Breakfast is on the table. We're leavin' before sunrise, remember?"

How could he forget? "I'm up," he groaned, hauling himself out of bed. "Come on, Klunk. You, too."

His cat meowed protest but got off the bed to allow the turtle to fold the blankets, and the pair headed downstairs.

Everybody looked more or less the worse for wear but no one looked worse than Donnie. With his mask around his neck, everyone could see the bags under his eyes and a grisly frown pulled at his mouth; he stared into his cereal without eating it. Mike wanted to ask him what was wrong but he sensed that his brother didn't want to talk about it so he let it go.

They loaded the last of the perishables into the truck's fridge, Mikey stowed Klunk in his carrier, they did a last sweep of the house to check for anything they might have missed, and piled in. Leo went back to sleep before the engine even roared to life and Sensei followed suit, tucking the toddler in a blanket and curling up with him in a corner. Mikey blearily watched Don check Raph's leg but somehow lost track of it all and ended up with his head resting against a cupboard, and his eyes slid closed.

"Mikey… Mikey, we're here. C'mon, little bro. Wake up."

Blinking open his eyes, Mike quickly shut them again against the glaring light of day. He groaned.

Firm hands grabbed his shoulders and hauled him upright, his head lolling. When had he lain down? Oh, well. He was upright now.

"M'up, m'up," he grumbled, batting away the hands.

"C'mon, Mike. Grab yer cat and backpack. We've got a bit of a walk ahead of us 'cause the truck's too conspicuous even fer residents. They'll think somethin's up."

"Right." He opened his eyes at last and found Raph using a counter to steady himself as he got up, wincing a little. That brought him around some more. "What are you carrying?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"Not as much as I can but more than what Don wants me to," was the stiff reply. "You also have Leo."

"Okay." Mikey rubbed his face and stood, throwing his pack over one shoulder and picking up Klunk's carrier. That probably accounted for why he didn't have a lot; Leo was a handful all by himself. "What about the rest?" he added with a glance at the full cupboards and fridge.

"Case and April are bringing it all by later." Raph slid out of the trailer with a short-lived grimace. "Come on."

Mikey hesitated at stepping out into sunshine while topside – it went against every instinct he had – but the truck had backed into a wide alley between two buildings near the docks (he could smell the brine) and blocked any passersby from seeing them. A manhole was uncovered and only ten feet away. Ten feet and then he would be safe underground.

He made the distance and slid down the ladder in seconds. He exhaled. He was safe. They were safe.

His brothers and father all carried something, most of it their personal packs and a few other things. Splinter and Don also carried a picnic cooler between them so they'd have a few supplies before Casey and April dropped off the rest of the stuff.

"Here, Mikey." April's voice wafted through the semidarkness and she stepped forward with a snoozing Leo. "Put your backpack on your front. I'll sling him for you."

'Slinging' meant that she used two thin blankets to secure the toddler to his shell. Now he had another backpack, though this one's legs stuck out over his hips and a round cheek nestled against his carapace. At least he didn't have to worry about the kid running off…or being swept away.

Mikey shook his head to clear the memory, thanked April, and watched her and Casey climb back up into daylight.

"Come, my sons. Let's go home," said Splinter.

Mikey had to smile at that. Home was where they were safest. Home was where they would get Leo back. Home was where they would all be together again.

"Hey, slow poke!"

He jerked his head up at Raph's call to see he'd fallen behind. Splinter and Don had already vanished out of sight around a bend. Not wanting to jostle the child still sleeping on his back, he walked only slightly more quickly.

"Daydreamin' again, Mike?" his brother asked as he caught up.

"Just…thinking about home," the youngest confessed.

Raph nodded and punched his arm lightly. "I hear ya, bro."

They rounded the corner and froze.

Foot ninja. Dozens. Hundreds. A whole army of them. Splinter and Don fought against cloths over their mouths and noses but were weakening by the second.

Chloroform.

"Run, Mikey!" Raph shouted, dropping everything and unsheathing his sai.

Mikey took all of half a second to make the decision between saving himself and Leo, and fighting for his family's lives. "Like shell!" He spat. He caught movement behind him and spun around to put Leo between them, deflecting a katana with his nunchaku which seemed to all but leap into his hands. Klunk yowled when he dropped the carrier at his feet.

"You are outnumbered."

Mikey kept one eye on the katana-wielding ninja in front of him and glanced over his and Raph's shoulders. The ninja in front of his brother was not a ninja but one of Shredder's – Karai's! – Elite.

Holy. Cats. They were so screwed.

"Surrender or they will be the first to die." He tilted his hat-covered head to indicate Splinter and Don on the ground and helplessly unconscious.

"Mikey?"

Oh, Fate, no. The noise had woken Leo. Leo was awake.

"Mikey, what going on?"

"Shh, Leo. It's okay," he soothed desperately. He felt Raph shift a fraction, readjusting himself to better protect the precious burden strapped to Mikey's shell.

"Surrender now," the Elite hissed.

"Raph –" Mikey began, his voice trembling, but his elder brother cut him off.

"Do as he says, Mike. This is a battle we can't win." There was a clang as Raph tossed his sai to the floor and knelt.

Mike followed his leader's order. Hanging his head, he put his hands in front of him since Leo occupied his shell. While one tied him, another smacked a cloth over his beak, and as he succumbed to the fumes, he heard the Elite say into his radio, "Mistress Karai, we have apprehended all five mutants."

He could hear the malicious smile in the answerer's voice as she said, "Excellent" and he knew no more.

-:-

I already know that I'm a terrible and despicable human being with a serious disease of/addiction to cliffhangers. Please review.


	44. Chapter 44

**MysticLeo80:** Some stuff has to happen first...

 **prangerstrutles:** Sorry it's late. :(

 **Turtlecrazy714:** Thank you so much! And you're more than welcome for the earlier update. :)

 **AlessandraDC:** I do love how much Mikey's grown in this story. He's become quite the protector, hasn't he?

 **Adriene Alexandra Wayne:** Sorry about the frustrating cliffhanger.

 **Natalie Ryan:** Cliffhangers are fun, I'll give you that. ;) I'm glad that you enjoyed Leo's and Don's moment. I've really been trying to give Donnie a decent playing field because, like you said, there wasn't enough of him in the 2003 series; most of it was Leo and Raph or Leo and Mikey.

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** Thank you! That's kind of you to say!

 **J:** Thank you!

 **Author's Note:** I am terribly sorry that this chapter is so late in coming. This week was intense! Also, I am seriously trying very hard not to kill anyone in these next few bits but...will anyone be mad if I do? No? Perfect!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 44

Raphael woke slowly. Struggling out of sleep wasn't usually this much of an uphill battle but his brain felt like a tonne of wet cotton and his limbs weren't much better. It was a minute before he successfully opened his eyes and immediately wondered if he had opened them at all. Darkness met his retinas. Complete and absolute darkness. He waved a hand in front of his face and frowned at the ghost he could see because it technically wasn't there; it was his brain's way of coping. This wasn't right. Even in the lair, there was still some light – from dimmed fluorescents in the hall outside his bedroom to the little red numbers on his alarm clock. He'd experienced complete darkness once or twice before and each time had preceded trouble. It was in that moment that he realized he wasn't lying in his hammock at home but on a cold, concrete floor with a slight slope.

It was a split second later that he realized he wasn't in the lair at all, neither at the farmhouse. He had no idea where he was because they – all of them, his entire family – had been captured by the Foot.

His heartrate increased and he gained his feet only to stumble from leftover dizziness and the dull ache in his leg that had still yet to go away. Stupid chloroform. Stupid Foot. Why couldn't they just leave him and his family alone? He steadied himself carefully and shuffled forward, hands and feet stretching out to get a feel of the room. Maybe his brothers and dad were in here with him? Maybe they hadn't woken yet? It was a vain hope since he couldn't hear anything other than his own breathing but…he had to check.

He found a wall later than he expected and after walking the circumference (it was a round room), he determined his cell to be about twenty feet across. He almost missed the door but his trailing fingers along the wall found small grooves to indicate a mechanical door with only a small panel to the left side – no knobs and no way out. He discovered a drain in the middle of the room and shuddered at the reason for why it would be here.

But his family wasn't here. He clenched his eyes shut in a futile effort to drive out sudden images of his family, separated like he was from everyone, alone and in the dark. Mikey didn't like the dark. Neither did Little Leo.

Oh, Fate. Leo. What were they doing to him? What about Donnie who was so peaceful in nature that he had been the only one to protest their ninjutsu training? What about Splinter who was always so calm and reassuring? What about his baby brother? What about Mikey? He had ordered him to surrender; he had gotten him into this.

Their greatest enemy had them all now. There was no telling what she would do to each and every one of them. Raph fell to his knees, hugging his waist, and immediately noticed that all his gear, even his mask, was missing. His sai! His mask! His family!

Raphael loosed a roar as he gained his feet and lunged at where he knew the door was. "WHERE ARE THEY!?" he shouted. "LET ME OUT! WHAT'D YA DO TA 'EM? LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!" He pounded his fists on the unforgiving metal and received no answer.

He slid to the floor again, tears which he refused to let fall burning in his eyes. He gulped back his sobs and resettled himself into a full lotus. Breathe in. Breathe out. It was several minutes before he calmed enough to venture his thoughts into meditation's void.

 _Leo,_ he called. _Leo, help us. Please. I messed up. I was supposed to protect them. I was supposed to bring them home safe and I failed. Please, Leo, where are ya?_

 _I'm here, Raph._ The whisper drifted through his mind, exhausted and small. _I'm always right here._

 _Leo?_ His brother was meditating! His brother was alive! _Leo!_ _Are ya okay? Where are ya?_

 _I'm not sure. I think Little Leo's unconscious. What happened?_

 _I…I messed up. Badly._

A quiet, patient sigh. _What happened?_

 _It…it was an ambush. The Foot ambushed us. They got us all, even Sensei. I don't know where the others are. I don't know where our family is._

This was met with an intense silence. Then: _Can you reach me? I can't…you're too far, Raph. You have to come here. I can't hold the connection._

Never had he tried to enter his brother's mind while not in the same room with him but now was not the time to doubt himself. _Okay. Just…just wait a minute, bro. I'm comin'._

He was ashamed that it took longer than sixty seconds: seven minutes later, he opened his eyes onto a hazy, beige expanse. Faint colours and shapes glistened half-heartedly against the blank canvas that was once again Leo's mind. Raising his hands to his face, he found his mask; his elbow- and knee pads were all in place; and his sai were exactly where they should be over his kidneys.

"Leo?" he inquired the air. "Where are ya, bro?"

"Right here."

He spun around and did not hold back his expletive. Leo sat in a full lotus on the floor and was almost completely transparent. His swords, mask and all his gear were gone, and his eyes were near-black as they met his gaze almost defiantly.

"What the shell?" he rasped.

Leo shrugged. "Let's discuss it later. I'm glad you're all right, Raph."

Raph sat across from his brother and dropped his gaze. "I wish I could say the same fer ya, Fearless, and everyone else fer that matter."

"Tell me what happened. I…wasn't exactly paying attention."

"What were ya doin'?" His brother usually made an appearance of some kind when they were in distress.

Leo gave him a leader look that was reminiscent of the good ol' days. "You first, then I'll tell."

Raph had to roll his eyes but his humour quickly faded as he recounted the events that had taken place after April and Casey had left them in the sewers by the docks.

"They were waitin' fer us," he concluded. "It's the most obvious explanation. And there was only one Elite with them. They must've split up into groups ta cover different sections of tunnels."

"That's reasonable," replied Leo, blinking slowly. "It certainly beats hunting us down. Just set a trap and wait for the prey to wander in."

Raphael hung his head. "Some leader I turned out ta be, huh? Got the entire family captured and we weren't even patrollin'."

"These things happen," his brother soothed. "You win some, you lose some."

Tears welled in his eyes as he looked back up. "We're gonna lose, Leo. We're gonna lose it all. Karai's gonna kill us first chance she gets."

"She had her chance to kill us when her goons caught us," Leo said, his voice firming. "She's playing. She's drawing this out. She has separated us on purpose to scare us."

"It's workin', I'll tell ya that," he grumbled, glancing away. "Why couldn't ya have just let me get hit? None of this would have happened if ya hadn't been runnin' around, actin' the part of fearless leader. Ya should've just let me get hit."

Raphael didn't see his eldest brother's eyes widen. He didn't see how his translucent form rippled. He did not see the cold fire blazing in his navy-black eyes. But he did feel it when he surged forward and gripped him hard by both shoulders.

"Look at me, Raphael," he commanded, and Raph obeyed because he wanted to; he had missed his leader's orders. Amber met inky blue.

"A few days after Sensei named me leader, he gave me a list of rules to always remember. He hasn't given them to you just yet because he still has hope that I'll somehow be able to break this spell. But I'm going to tell you the first rule because you need to hear it."

Raph nodded sullenly.

"The first and most important rule of leadership is that a leader is not a leader first; he is a brother and a son. A leader is not part of a team first; he is part of a family." Leo smiled at him and guided their foreheads together. "I was not your fearless leader when I took that shot. I was your brother and I was so afraid for you."

He tried to hold back his tears but at his brother's words, he lost control and he sobbed. Leo wound his arms around him but offered no words to calm him. Sometimes, Raph just needed to let it out, and he knew that Leo knew that.

Something moving behind him caught his attention and he turned his head in time to see Mikey kneel down beside him and wheedle his way between them, turning sideways and burying his face into Leo's plastron. Raph heard Leo chuckle and, keeping one arm around him, he wrapped the other over their baby brother's shoulders.

"Glad you could make it," Leo said quietly.

"Sorry I'm late," was the muffled reply. "I just woke up. You guys okay?"

Raph met Leo's weary gaze and nodded. "Yeah, little bro. We're okay."

"Mind if I join you?" a new voice asked.

Raph automatically opened an arm to let Don in, and his elder brother settled between the two leaders, his cheek resting on Mike's carapace. Raph sighed, closed his eyes and laid his head against his little brother's shoulder.

"Donatello, are you all right?" Leo's sudden question made Raph sit up and scrutinize Don. He looked okay to his untrained eye.

"Fine." The answer was stiff and strained.

"Say that to someone who will believe you," Leo snapped, startling even Mikey.

Raph dropped his arms from around his brothers and turned Donnie's face to his. Shadows flickered in his brown eyes: pain. There was so much pain. And he could hear the faint rasps of his laboured breathing that he tried to keep hidden.

His eyes widened at the same time that Donnie flinched. Flinched! As if he – or someone – had punched him.

"Don, they're hurting you!" he gasped out.

"Wouldn't you know it, Raph," he whispered tearfully, "they think I'm leader. I couldn't stay. I had to escape somehow. This was the only place I could think of where it doesn't hurt as much. I haven't told them anything," he added – as if that remedied the entire situation.

"What can they possibly want to know when they have us all?" Mikey demanded, shrill.

Raph's heart squeezed when Don grimaced and said, "You don't want to know."

Leo took Don's shoulder gently, saying, "Hold on for me, ototo. I'm looking."

Don's smile was weak but at least it was a smile. "I know you are. I'm banking on that miracle."

Raph's confusion must have shown in his face because his eldest brother said, "There's something in either my mind or Little Leo's that will break this spell. Residual magic of what originally hit me. It's not in my mind," he added. "I thought that maybe something of Little Leo's had transferred over without my noticing since there was nothing in here to begin with after the initial hit."

"It's in Little Leo's." Mikey's eyes were round and Leo nodded.

"The only problem is that he was still in control when he lost consciousness. I can't take control when the body won't function and I can't enter his mind to look when all it is is blackness."

"Not that ya'd try, though, right, Leo?" Raph hedged. "It'd kill ya."

Leo glanced away and Raph's heart picked up in tempo. His brother wouldn't do something as stupid as risking erasing himself…would he?

 _Hard hands shoved him aside, a fearful cry – "Raph!" – and purple light flashed._

No. Not again.

"Leo," he said slowly, making sure he had his brother's attention, "ya will do no such thing. Do ya hear me? If we're gonna die, we're gonna die together. I won't have ya sacrifice yerself fer us when Karai's just gonna kill us anyway."

Leo opened his mouth to say who knew what – to refute or argue or deny – but Mikey put in quietly, "I don't want to die."

Raph bowed his head as Leo hugged their little brother, Donnie putting a kind hand on his shell.

"I mean, I don't want to," Mikey continued, "but…if there's anything after this, if there's somewhere we go and we're all there and together, then…then I guess I can be okay with that. That'd be a good enough heaven for me."

"I said it before and I will say it again: you are wise beyond your years, Michelangelo."

All four turtles looked up as their father joined them at last. Tears welled in those clear, onyx eyes as he knelt. Soft and gentle hands brushed shoulders, arms and shells and then cupped Don's cheek tenderly.

Raph heard his brother take a deep, albeit shaky, breath and nod. "Arigato, Sensei," he whispered as his tense shoulders relaxed and the torture in his eyes depleted.

He really had to learn the trick of erecting mental walls to keep out pain. Maybe he'd ask Splinter how to do it later…if there was a later.

"My sons." Father somehow enfolded them all in his arms like when they'd been tots. Raph found himself tucked between Leo and Don with Mikey wedged against his plastron and he suddenly never, ever wanted to leave. He didn't want this moment to end, feeling his family's breaths, hearing their heartbeats…

Yeah, this was a good enough heaven for him, too.

Then it all ended when Mikey suddenly vanished.

"Mikey! Michelangelo!" they cried in unison.

"His meditation was interrupted!" Splinter explained and, oh, Fate, was that despair in his voice? Raph shut his eyes and prayed that it wasn't, especially when Don, too, disappeared.

Raphael buried his head in his father's shoulder, fingers clutched his robes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he gasped out. "Ya made me leader, Dad, and I failed. I'm sorry."

He felt that soft, furry hand graze the back of his head and then Sensei was gone before any words could be uttered.

He turned to the only one left. "Leo, I'm scared."

Strong arms wound around him. A forehead touched his crown. "Me, too, but I'll try to work another miracle."

A sound reverberated through Raph's mind – was that a door opening? He opened his mouth to tell his big brother to do only what he could and not put himself at risk when savage pain seared up his right side and he snapped his eyes open onto the real world.

 _Light!_

It burned his retinas like acid and fire and iodine all at once, and he yelped, covering his eyes with his arms at the same time that he scrambled away from whoever had just kicked him.

"Rise and shine, freak. You have company."

Stumbling steps, quiet and retreating feet, and then a door slammed shut.

"Raph! Raphie!" Something large and heavy collided with him, almost winding him.

"Mikey?" He still didn't dare open his poor, abused eyes, but his reaching hands clung to him. "Easy, Mike. Take it easy. I'm glad yer okay."

"What'd they do to you?" his baby brother demanded, cupping his face. "Raph, open your eyes."

"It's fine, Mike." He squinted, barely peeking. Okay, he was getting used to it. "It's just the light. It was dark the whole time so sudden light's gonna hurt."

"Oh. But it isn't even that bad."

Opening his eyes slightly wider, he found his brother correct. It was as if a sunrise had paused halfway: some light but with a few remaining shadows. "Yeah. Yer right. It's not that bad at all." He had to smile at him. Their death hung over their heads but he had to keep his little brother smiling.

The mechanical door swished open and Raph instinctively grabbed his brother's arm and hauled him away from danger.

Except it wasn't danger.

Two Foot ninja dragged the limp body of Don between them and tossed him unceremoniously into the cell.

"Donnie!" both turtles cried, but the younger went to the injured brother while the elder rushed the ninja who drew back hastily and slammed the door in his face.

"What'd ya do ta my brother, ya miserable, sick –"

"Raph! He's conscious!" Mikey interrupted desperately.

The emerald-coloured ninja wasted no time to bother snarling at the closed door. Instead, he whirled for his brothers, fell to his knees and took Don's head in his lap. "Oh, Don," he whispered.

"It's not so bad," mumbled Donnie. "I think they cracked a couple of ribs so that's the worst of it."

He was still articulate. Raph exhaled a tremulous breath. If Don's words had slurred, then he knew it would have been bad. But it wasn't so terrible. Well, it was terrible but it could have been a lot worse. Bruises littered just about every inch of him, his mouth bloodied (he wasn't coughing it up, thank Fate). His left eye was already swollen shut and the other was three-quarters of the way there. Both his cheeks were split and there was a cut above his brow that might or might not scar.

Raph and Mikey glanced at each other, sharing desolation and helplessness between them; and Raph looked down quickly to his big brother's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. It's gonna be okay scalded his tongue but he refused to say it. He would not lie to his brothers now because it was definitely not going to be okay.

He had said a different set of words to his father only minutes ago and those he released: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed you guys so soon."

Don shifted, grimaced and had to content himself with simply lifting a hand to touch the one against his face. It was Mikey who hugged him. Raph leaned against his baby brother but he was all cried out. He had shed all his tears and now there was only an ache in his chest and behind eyes.

The door opened again and Raph stiffened, automatically curling around Don to protect him. Mikey lunged to his feet with nictitating membranes in place and a snarl which froze in the air.

"Sensei!"

Splinter was pushed roughly into the room, his hands bound and his muzzle roped shut to keep him from biting. Raph was torn between soul-wrenching fury and embarrassment when he saw their father had been stripped. Like them, he had nothing on him. Black eyes snapped up to meet his, then danced to Don under his hands and Mikey on his feet. As the door once more slammed to, he cross to them and knelt beside them, and Mikey was on the floor in an instant, undoing his wrists first then turning to the rope around his muzzle.

Raph watched helplessly as his little brother tried in vain to get the hard knot. He could tell Father fought not to flinch away from the cruel binding that was doubtlessly digging into his flesh; he could, after all, see the impressions in his wrists, the fur dotted with blood from where the skin beneath had been scraped raw.

"I – I can't get it, Sensei," whispered Mikey. "We need something sharp."

Sensei put a kind and reassuring hand on the young turtle's shoulder, his eyes holding no grudge.

"Your claws won't cut it," Donnie added from Raph's lap. "Raph, help me up. Let me take a look."

Raphael did as he was told and closed his eyes for a second when he heard his elder brother hiss at the inevitable pull of his ribs. He steadied him carefully as Don laid a gentle finger to Splinter's chin, tilting his face upward to get a better look. It took about a minute for Donnie to successfully untie the knot – _He's always had a fair hand with knots,_ Raph thought.

"Thank you, Donatello," the old rat rasped as he grazed his fingertips over his snout. "Are you all right?"

"Just a few cracked ribs," was the stoic reply from the genius while both Raph and Mikey said, "We're okay, Sensei."

"Where's Leo?" Mikey asked in his next breath.

"I do not know. I can still feel his presence. He is alive and near still."

Still. Raph tried not to wince at the word but his eyes must have betrayed him because Father laid a hand to his shoulder, though he said nothing. There really was nothing to say when they were all going to die. He had already said his sorries. Leo was right: Karai was drawing this out.

Speaking of which…

Raph could almost hear the Emperor's Theme from _Return of the Jedi_ as the door swished open and in she swept, a nightmare of steel and iron with blazing red eyes. Several black shadows pooled around her: ninja minions.

"Put your hands behind your back," she commanded, no doubt she would be obeyed from her tone.

To everyone's astonishment, Mikey growled. "Like shell!" he spat, his blue eyes lit with lightning.

Shredder gestured with a hand and a ninja stepped into the room, holding by the arm a very wide-eyed and trembling Leo.

"Daddy!" the toddler squeaked and tried to rush forward. The masked subordinate holding him roughly jerked him back, making him stumble.

"Care to rethink that statement, Michelangelo?" Karai wondered idly. Raphael could picture her stupid face sneering and wanted to punch it until the bones broke.

In unison, all four older mutants placed their hands behind their backs, and four ninja quickly bound their wrists. Raph heard Don hiss in pain when his captor pulled too tightly, and he growled low, his eyes narrowing and ensuring the goon's hasty retreat. But now they were all on their knees with tied hands and facing their greatest enemy.

"I will give no preamble," Shredder announced as she took off her helmet, her head proudly arched. "You beasts have been a thorn in my side for too long and I won't live a minute more knowing you are alive. You took my father from me. I think it only fair that I return the favour before I execute you all. After him, we'll go in order of age. Donatello will be next, then Raphael, Michelangelo and then –" she chuckled "- little Leonardo will be last." She smiled at the toddler who stared unblinkingly back. "Feel as I felt, Leonardo, when you stole my family from me. An eye for an eye, is that not the saying?"

Leo made no reply and her smile transformed from mocking to feral-like. "Bring me the rat."

"NO!" Raph was not alone in his cry. Twisting, he kicked out the legs of one ninja who came too close. His brothers were equal rages around him, nictitating membranes sliding down as they lashed out with all they had with only their legs, feet…and teeth. Raph bit down on a reaching hand and refused to let go, clenching harder.

Someone punched him in the head and he went down, releasing the hand and fighting stars. Then the ninja was on top of him, pummelling him, and he couldn't fight back. He could only try to twist away as blows descended on his head.

"Stop! Stop!" Leo's young, shrill voice soared over the snarls and cries of battle and Karai's followed it ten seconds later: "Enough," she said calmly. She sounded bored. "Gag the turtles and bring the rat to me."

A ball of cloth was stuffed into his mouth and the ninja pressed a hard hand on his plastron to keep him down as he stood up. As soon as the pressure was gone, Raph rolled to his knees, his vision swimming. He wanted to spit out the blood gathering in his mouth but the gag soaked it up, leaving the rancid taste of iron on his tongue. He was a few feet away from Mike and Don who both had ninja stationed behind them to ensure obedience. His brothers were gagged as he was and he recognized the orange and purple masks wadded between their jaws. His was doubtlessly his own red mask.

Several feet from Karai, Leo was still more or less unharmed, clutched by the arm in some ninja's harsh grip. Splinter was on his knees right in front of the metal-clad woman who had a naked katana in her hand and a leer on her face.

"Any last words, Rat?"

Father looked at them all, one by one. "Fear not, my sons, for we are together. Death cannot break us nor the bond we share."

Raph nodded along with his brothers, tears streaming down their cheeks but not his. He was all cried out.

He tried to smile but it didn't hold and tears trickled off his whiskers as he said, "Close your eyes, my children. Look away."

First Don and then Mikey bowed their heads and shut their eyes but Raph shook his head emphatically. _No. No, Dad, no. I won't._

"Raphael. Please."

Raph held his father's gaze – memorized it: the kind and wise shade of onyx that existed nowhere else in the world or off it – and looked down. He clenched his eyes closed at the gleam of fluorescents off a steel blade. This was it. It was all over.

At least he got to say he was sorry.

Karai raised the sword and, gloating enemy that she was, she paused. "For my father," she announced, her vicious victory reverberating off the walls.

-:-

Please review.


	45. Chapter 45

**tarin2014tfan:** Thank you so much!

 **prangersturtles:** I had to leave it somewhere! I'm so sorry!

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** I am evil for a good reason, I promise. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 **Natalie Ryan:** Thank you very much! Raph, indeed, is rather fragile. All this added stress is just one thing after another and he has finally broken. It's going to take a miracle to put him back together.

 **karizmasimon1234:** Sorry for scaring you. The sword has not come down just yet.

 **MysticLeo80:** I never much liked Karai, either. And Leo is awake already. He's a witness to everything.

 **The Once Caged Bird:** I'm happy to hear that you're all caught up, though I'm sorry you stabbed your salad (or tried not to). Sorry for freaking you out and everything else.

 **AlessandraDC:** Leo has done a lot of impossible. Maybe, just maybe, he can do one more impossible?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 45

He was running out of time. Leo knew nothing in his mind was the residual magic Don had told him about. He knew nothing he had touched so far in Little Leo's mind was it either. It was a mercy he had thought to transfer a few of his possessions from his mind to the toddler's because, strange as it was, he had discovered that he could anchor himself to the child. Even with the completely beige desolation on the other side of the brick wall that was now only knee-high ruins, Leo felt stronger when he was in the toddler's mind. He was still weak but stroking his katana's sheaths and running his fingers over Sun Tzu's philosophy made him feel, if only marginally, a bit better. He had never really stopped to admire the colourful expanse here; every time he had entered, it had been to take control and he had never had the leisure to stop and look. Now was not the time either. He was not in control now, though. Like Little Leo, he found he could simply pass through the barrier. He could have spent time with him, gotten to know him better, perhaps even told him to hold back on the ketchup. He chuckled at the idea but sobered instantly as feelings from reality – terror, fear, pain – punctuated the cheerful atmosphere.

He was running out of time. He still had no leisure.

He touched blocks and picture books, the blankets, pillows and cushions that made up the forts and nests on the floor. He picked up Panny the Panda, nothing happened (of course, it didn't: April had given Little Leo the panda after they'd gotten hit!), and quickly set it back down. It had to be here. Somewhere, it was here.

"Light will reveal the way," he muttered aloud. "Light, light, light."

The lamps, and TV and computer screens proved fruitless, as did the mirrors and even the chrome toaster in the kitchen. He tried Donnie's lab but everything in here was shapeless and meaningless – a testimony of the child's lack of understanding for his brother's work. Still, he made sure to touch every single blob of metal or glass, and his heart sank lower and lower as each resulted in nothing.

Returning to the living room, he gazed around in utter helplessness and slid to his knees. His family was going to die. They were all going to die.

 _I'm banking on that miracle._ Don's words. His brothers' thoughts. His father's hope. He had failed. This was one miracle he just couldn't deliver.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, praying that somehow his family would hear him.

"Leo…?"

His head snapped up to see the toddler in front of him. His navy eyes were wild and he shook where he stood; he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"I'm scared, Leo."

"I am, too." Leo opened his arms for his little counterpart and the child ran to him.

In the instant of contact, purple light lit up the mindscape to brilliancy and tiny darts of pain pricked their arms. Both dropped the other in shock but Leo stared at Little Leo in dawning realization.

"It's you," he whispered. "You're the residual magic."

It seemed that Little Leo understood exactly what that meant because he asked, so quietly and timidly, "I go-go now?"

"No." The word fell from his tongue without thought and he knew the reason why: "You're not going anywhere because you are who I was and I am what you will become. We're the same."

Tears welled in those young, dark blue eyes and once more he dove into his arms. Light burst around them and both Leos held the other tighter as pain danced through their bodies.

"Protect brothers," the tot whispered. "Protect Daddy. Promise? Promise, Leo!"

The child was disappearing rapidly, flickering and fading, and Leo nodded with tears in his own eyes. It had, after all, been a lifelong promise he had done his best to keep. "I promise, Leo."

Leo smiled up at him through his tears and he suddenly understood how special a small child's trust was and why his younger brothers had enjoyed the toddler as much as they had. He wished there was a way that everything could go back to normal and they could stay separated because his brothers – his entire family, including Splinter, April and Casey – deserved the lightheartedness Leo had brought. Pillow forts and swimming, story-time and Mikey's affectionately-named beat-downs, he knew his family would miss it all. He knew Raph would miss it the most.

"I promise, too." The small vow returned Leo's attention to the dissolving blur of green and yellow in his arms. "We're same. I promise, too."

Leo placed a gentle hand on the back of his head and brought him closer, closer to his heart. "That's right, kiddo. That's exactly right."

Violet brilliancy brightened to a sun's strength and he closed his eyes, still holding him close. Then his arms were empty and some unleashed force drove him to his feet. He could feel a fire in his veins and bones and soul, and he instantly became aware of cold concrete beneath his feet, a gloved hand around his arm. He opened his eyes onto blinding light but ignored his lack of sight because he knew exactly where he was and where everyone else was. His ears filled with startled cries and Karai's shout of "Stay where you are!"

 _Yes,_ Leo thought grimly as he turned on the only ninja beside him, the only one who could even remotely see him properly. _Stay exactly where you are._

He moved and joy flooded him as his hard-muscled, trained, sixteen-year-old body moved with his very thoughts. He had the ninja on the floor in the space of a heartbeat. He had filched smoke pellets, tanto and shuriken in another three, and as the purple light gradually began to fade, he dropped two pellets: thick, grey smoke billowed in all directions.

He followed his mind's eye, not even taking down the ten nearest enemies he knew were panicking in the small, round room. All his focus was for Karai who still had her katana in hand and who still stood over Father who was not yet beheaded. He body-slammed her, snatching her katana clean out of the air when she dropped it, and sliced through the ropes binding his father's wrists. Sensei immediately gained his feet and he slid a tanto into his furred hands.

"My son, your brothers!" he hissed quietly, a soft hand on his arm.

Leo allowed himself a quarter-second to put his own hand on top of his father's, to meet his eyes, and then he disappeared into the smoke.

"The rat's loose!" someone shouted.

"Kill them all!" Karai screamed. "I want them dead now!"

Leo tossed two more bombs, ensuring his invisibility when he cut down the one, two, three ninja stationed behind his brothers. Setting his stolen katana on the floor, he knelt behind Raph and used a tanto to release him, pressing its handle into his palm when he was done.

He wanted to embrace his brothers, to pull their gags from their mouths, and to help them stand and regain their strength and confidence and will, but he had no time. Their reunion would have to wait; for he had business with the new Shredder, and so he ghosted away without a word.

He loosed a fistful of shuriken and didn't stop to look at the man he killed, aiming for Karai whom he could pinpoint from the clank of her armour and her shrieked orders. He let the smoke disperse and he let her see him rush her, katana gleaming under the ceiling lights. Her helmet was off. Good. He could see her fear, her wide-eyed astonishment and her slowly-firming resolve. Around them were the bodies of the fourteen ninja – curtesy of Father – and he smiled. She would face him alone.

With the smoke fading, not only could she see him but so could the entirety of his family.

"LEO! LEO!" his brothers cried, their gags removed.

"Michelangelo, stay here!" Father's voice cut through the melee and Leo spared a glance over his shoulder at his unarmed baby brother who rose to his feet, vengeance in his baby-blue eyes. "This is Leonardo's fight."

Leo felt the air shift and dodged to the side, avoiding Karai's clawed gauntlet. He skipped back across the room, keeping himself between his family and her.

"How?" she hissed at him, swiping towards his plastron. He parried, metal clashing. "How are you no longer a child?"

"Idiot!" Donnie spat from behind. "Even children know spells can break."

Leo quirked his mouth in a smirk, saying not a word to this dishonourable human. She had tried to kill him. She had captured, tortured and then attempted to kill his entire family. One way or another, he would ensure his family's safety once and for all. He swung around – step, step, pivot – and now he was behind her. He snaked his katana's tip right through the armour plating and cut the leather binding beneath: the entire left arm's protection fell with a crash. As she spun, swinging her claws toward his head, he ducked beneath and slid by her, grabbing the red sash tied at her waist. He would take her down, piece by piece.

"No!" she snarled. "You will pay! You must pay! I must have my revenge!"

He felt her cold, green eyes on him but did not look at them and refused to answer. He kept his eyes on her chest – where he was supposed to look, trained to look – to see any incoming blow from fist or foot. He blocked her cut kick with a raised shin and then quickly stepped down to unbalance her. She staggered. He jumped, kicking her right in the breastplate and she fell, twisting, and landed with a clanging crash. He took the step forward that would bring him right at her head, his sword-tip angled at the back of her neck – where she had aimed for Splinter not even three minutes ago. She froze and Mikey snorted, "Some fight."

Leo drew back slowly. "Kneel," he said, his voice low and deadly. He would not kill someone prone on the floor. He, at least, would deliver an honourable death.

Karai got to her hands and knees and sat up hesitantly, her green eyes trained on his every move. "What are you waiting for?" she bit out. "Do it. Finish me."

Leo laid the blade against her shoulder, standing directly behind her. He lifted his eyes to his family standing not even ten feet away. Mikey had Don propped on a shoulder while Sensei steadied Raph with a firm arm. His family had been stripped of their gear, masks, weapons and clothes. Anything they possessed that was remotely human had been taken by force: Karai had reduced them to animals, and then she had them beaten. Tortured. Brutalized. She had lined them up for execution. She had lifted a sword to behead his father.

"I should," he whispered, and he tapped her armour-less shoulder for emphasis. "I want to. I need to. Honour demands it. But…I'm going to give you one, last chance. You have a choice to make, Karai, and you have five seconds to make it: death now as an enemy to Bushido and all it stands for or exile in Japan, never to return to this continent. You have five seconds."

She turned around completely to stare up at him, evergreen irises gleaming. "You'll let me live? After all I did?"

"Don't tempt me!" he snarled. "What is your decision?"

"I…" she began and then paused. "Exile. Please. Exile."

Keeping the katana close to her neck, he crouched on her other side to whisper in her ear, ignoring her flinch. "Then know this, Oroku Karai: if your shadow touches North American soil or waters or sky, I will know and I will find you and I will not be as merciful. We have an agreement. You leave now. Get out and take your Elite pets – who I know are standing outside – with you."

He rose and stepped back before lifting the blade off her. She scrambled to her feet and looked at him. Only at him. "You could have been so much more," she told him.

"You understand nothing, Karai," he said coldly, his eyes narrowed. "I already am. Now go."

She went. Taking off her glove, she touched her thumb to the panel on the wall and she left. The door stayed open for a single second and red capes fluttered past as the four Elite Guards followed their mistress like obedient dogs.

As soon as the door whooshed closed, Leo dropped the katana. It clanged on the concrete floor which was sticky with drying blood. He looked up at his family and took one, single step towards them.

Then someone human moaned.

The katana jumped into his hand and he had the ailing ninja up against the wall inside of two seconds, one hand on his shoulder, the other aiming the katana at his bared throat. It was the one who had held him, the first one he'd attacked. It seemed he hadn't hit him as hard as he had wanted.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" the ninja gasped, his hands up. "Take it easy!"

"Interesting command," Leo seethed quietly as his family gathered at his back. "Give me one good reason why."

"Um…I know where your cat is?"

"Klunk!" Mikey exclaimed. "Geez, he was in his carrier! You guys left him in the sewer trapped in his carrier?"

"Well, no, actually. Karai, well, she wanted to keep him, like a pet, you know? But he bit her. He would not stop biting her so she gave him to me and told me to, uh, 'get rid of it'."

"You killed my little brother's cat?" Venom dripped from Leo's mouth; his grip on flesh and sword tightened.

"No, no, no! I promise! I swear on my life, I did not! I put him back in his carrier and took him to that shop-owner's place – the antique store lady. I…might have snuck into her house but I just put the carrier by the window and let the cat out. I watched for a while to make sure she found him…" He trailed off and Leo pressed, "And did she?"

"Yes. She picked him up, checked him over. Then she saw the carrier and she…she started crying. I guess she somehow knew or guessed what had happened. She called someone named Casey and told him you were, uh, missing. She left soon after and took the cat with her."

"When was this? How long ago?"

"It wasn't even a couple hours after you were brought in. That was about three hours ago."

Leo exhaled a quiet breath of relief. They had not been here for days, barely a handful of hours. "Your information is useful but I wonder if it's worth your life?"

The ninja swallowed. "Karai is now an exile. I owe no allegiance to her or anyone of authority in the Foot Clan. My grandfather gave me to Shredder when I was six so I could bring honour to my family. My life for twenty years was follow orders or die. I don't know what I'm going to do if you let me live but if you do spare me, I will try to redeem my honour as best as I can with what I have."

Leo's right hand was as quick as lightning as it snapped out and snatched the hood and mask off the ninja's head. A man of Japanese origin, not even a year older than Danelle, stared back at him with wide and frightened, brown eyes.

They looked a lot like Don's.

He lowered the katana slowly. "Then I wish you luck. One last thing, though."

"You have but to name it, kame-sama."

Leo nodded, acknowledging the respectful honorific. "My family's gear, where is it?"

"It's to the right, down the next hallway on the left and three doors down on the left side. I can…I can show you if you'd like?"

"That will not be necessary. Go your way."

The unmasked ninja slid out from against the wall and sidled past Mikey and Donnie. He paused, turned – Leo's hand gripped the sword – but he only bowed. "I cannot ask for forgiveness for my trespasses against your family," he murmured.

Leo and Splinter shared a glance and then the rat stepped forward. "You need not ask, child; for it is already given."

"Arigato, nezumi-dono. Um…You need to have a human thumbprint in order to operate the panel…" he began.

"We will follow you out," said Splinter.

Leo took the lead, katana still in hand, and followed the ninja out into the hallway.

"Your gear is that way," he pointed. "There's no key or panel to lock it."

"Thank you. Good luck then," Leo said politely.

"To you and yours, as well," was the slightly awed reply. Then he was gone, disappearing down the hall on trained, ninja-silent feet, and it was only then that Leo released Karai's katana and let it clatter to the floor.

The entire tower appeared to have been abandoned at Karai's defeat and so the Hamato Clan moved unchallenged through its halls and into the unlocked room. His brothers had their masks already (soaked in saliva, tears and blood), but Leo silently assisted them with strapping on their gear, letting them handle their own weapons, and helped Father into his robe. He did, however, hand the short rat the tessen that lay on a shelf too high for him to reach.

Tucking the fan into his sash, Sensei peered up at him for only a moment before embracing him, his brothers quickly joining them. Leo wished he had more arms, more hands and more eyes. He drank them in, his fingers grazing cheeks and shoulders as theirs did to his, his eyes lingering on each face, the four faces he loved more than anything in all the world. He noticed the bruises and cuts and swellings on and in their flesh, but he also saw the fierce love, relief, pride and welcome in every pair of onyx-, chocolate-, amber- and baby-blue-coloured eyes. He had Father's whiskered snout against his plastron, Raph's beak buried in the crook of his neck and left shoulder, Don's cheek resting on his right shoulder, and Mikey tucked between Donnie and Sensei, his head lying on his right collarbone. He wished he could envelope them all; nevertheless, he contented himself with wrapping his arms around his two immediate younger brothers and leaning his head to lay his cheek on Mikey's crown; he really did need another arm. He felt their tears on his skin, and even Raph shed a few, even after his emotional roller coaster in the last…had it really only been twenty minutes? It felt like a week had passed since the two of them had meditated.

The bizarre, mutant family stayed there for what felt like an eternity – a heaven – but after several minutes, Leo ventured his voice into the silence: "Father?"

Splinter shifted only a fraction, not releasing him. "Yes, my son?"

"Can we go home now?"

They all drew back slowly, hesitantly, unwillingly, and charcoal eyes glimmered in the half-light. "Yes, we can. Although, I believe we must make a stop at April's for a certain cat, as well as to reassure the rest of our family that we are alive."

"We're alive." The quiet whisper came from Mikey and then he giggled. "We're actually alive."

Leo nuzzled his baby brother with his beak, smiling. "Of course, we are. I had that miracle to deliver."

"You were cutting it a bit close, though, Leonardo." Sensei's eyes twinkled up at him but beneath the happy tease, Leo saw the horror his father felt at having faced death and knowing his sons weren't too far behind.

His smile faded as he said, "It took a bit longer than I had thought. I…I couldn't find it."

"What was it?" Don squinted at him with his lone, good eye, and Leo couldn't hold his gaze.

"I didn't think… It never occurred to me that…that _he_ would be it."

"The child," Sensei murmured.

No one said anything and Leo didn't want to look at the expressions on his brothers' faces. Then Father spoke again, "Come, my sons. Let's go home."

It was just after dusk as the five mutants crept out of Foot Headquarters and took to New York's roofs. Father led the way at a trot with Mikey supporting a limping Raph behind him, and Leo brought up the rear with Don. His brother's breathing was laboured with pain but he said nothing so he didn't say anything either. It was a quiet but painful forty-minute trek to April's and at last they jumped down from the roof to the fire escape, Leo helping his wounded brothers down from above while Mikey took them from below. One by one, he watched his family disappear inside and heard them call April's name. It wasn't that late; she should be home.

For himself, Leo stayed up on the roof. He had not seen New York with his own eyes in almost two months. He took a few steps back and tilted his head up to the light-polluted sky. Low clouds were rolling in, and the city lights reflected orange in the haze. A gale of wind broke around him, bringing the scents of brine, exhaust, concrete and the promise of rain to his nostrils. Below him was the heavy traffic: sirens, honks and rushes of displaced air, and that was the rumbling roar of a motorcycle as it accelerated…

"Leo?"

He turned smoothly, absently, his cells filled with his family and city and making it hard to focus. "What is it, Mikey?"

"April's not here. We're gonna head home."

"Klunk?"

"He's probably with her. His carrier is missing. The others are waiting for us at street-level."

"Then I will follow you."

He almost missed his little brother's wide-eyed look but he reassured him with a small smile and a gentle hand on his shoulder, and together they scaled down the building into the alley, disappearing through the manhole with the rest of their family.

"Y'okay, Leo?" Raph asked quietly. "What were ya doin' on the roof?"

Leo met that somber and concerned amber gaze, saying only, "I'm fine, Raph. I just wanted to feel the wind."

His brothers glanced at him knowingly and Father nodded thoughtfully.

They arrived at the hidden door that safeguarded their home and Sensei opened it, going in first, and then Raph, with Mikey who had Don this time behind him. Leo kept tight on his brother's heels and blinked in the brightness that met his eyes. His family, too, was just as surprised because they all knew they had turned off the lights before they'd left three weeks ago.

As the door slid closed behind them, someone screamed. No one moved fast enough to react to the blur of purple and red that raced from the kitchen and slammed into Father with almost enough force to knock him over; it was a good thing Raphael was immediately behind him as the sai-wielding turtle steadied him.

"Master Splinter! Guys!"

It was April.

Leo wheezed with relief and smiled at their human friend who wept openly on Sensei's shoulder.

"I was so worried! Casey's topside looking for you! What happened? No, don't tell me just yet. Let's get you guys seen to. Oh, my goodness, I have to call Casey and tell him you're safe!" She released Sensei quickly only to swiftly and very gently embrace first Raph then Mike and Don, pressing kisses to their foreheads and cheeks.

Leo watched in growing amusement as her eyes dropped towards the ground and she frowned. "But…where's Leo?"

She was looking for the toddler.

"Look up, April," he said, smiling. "I'm not that short."

Mikey snorted a laugh and April's gaze snapped up to meet him. Her eyes became enlarged as she stared, her mouth gaping open.

His smile widened a fraction. "Hi."

Her hands shot to her mouth, forcing back a laugh of hysteria, no doubt, and she managed to say, "How?"

"It's a bit of a story," Leo admitted, his eyes flicking to his siblings. "But let's see to a few things first."

They packed themselves into the infirmary, Mikey left to fetch icepacks and to make food while Sensei went to his room to do something. Leo, with April assisting him, saw first to Don who had only one cracked rib among several bruised ones, and then Raph whose face looked like it had been stomped on by a rhino. During the trek home, he had grown used to his brothers' trailing fingers over his shell, arms and shoulders, as if reassuring themselves that he was no apparition or dream; nevertheless, it became distracting when April did it, too.

He knew Donnie tried to keep his wincing to a minimum but, geez, the guy gave the impression of having fought a semi and lost, and his flinches coupled with the redheads periodic strokes wore on his nerves until at last: "April, can you help Mike with the icepacks?" At least he didn't snap at her. He spoke politely.

"Sure thing. Of course." A last graze of fingertips along his carapace's rim and then she left.

"Ya doin' okay, Fearless?" Raph asked from his cot. "Don't answer yes."

Leo lifted his eyes and met that softened amber gaze. "You know, I think I've had better days."

Don reached over and gripped his wrist, stopping him from securing the bandaging around his chest. "Sit, Leo. You look half-dead."

"I feel half-dead," he murmured, obeying and taking a seat on his brother's cot. He set the clips in while sitting down and then let his hands fall limply into his lap.

There was a shift of weight on the cot and then Raph joined them, throwing a careful arm around Donnie's shoulders and leaning his head against Leo's. Leo leaned back into the plastron behind him. He blinked and promptly forgot to open his eyes…

-:-:-:-

Dudes, is he asleep?

Quietly, Michelangelo. How long has he been asleep, Raphael?

He just went down. He was out like a light. He was awake one second and then he closed his eyes.

He doesn't look at all comfortable. I can set up a nest for you guys in the living room?

Don shouldn't be movin' around so much.

I can walk to the next room just fine, Raph, thanks.

Just then, the front door whooshed open and heavy footsteps ran in. Where the crud have ya guys been!? We've been worried sick ta death!

Leo's eyes snapped open at the angry tone. The words didn't even register and there was relief there also, he was sure, but at the moment, all he heard was the anger. He was off the cot and across the room inside of two seconds, his right forearm pressed into a human man's throat with a snagged screwdriver from Don's desk in his left and pointed at the man's face.

"Holy shell! Leo, stop! It's Casey!"

Leo blinked and the world around him slowly focused. "Casey?" he mused. "Why are you shouting?"

Casey Jones blinked back at him, clearly taken by surprise at the sight of the mask-less, gear-less and sword-less Leo who was sixteen again. "Uh..."

Leo stepped back, set the screwdriver down in the exact place and position he'd grabbed it from, and didn't know where to go from there. His whole body ached, his head swam. He should probably sit. But first: a small smile and "Sorry, Casey. I think I'm running on some kind of base instinct right now. Sorry for almost stabbing you in the face."

A slow, wide grin spread across the man's face. "It's fine, man. Happens more often than it doesn't. It's, uh, nice ta see ya as yerself again."

"Thanks. It's nice to be myself again."

Quiet footsteps behind him alerted him to an approach but it was Father and so he didn't flinch when he laid a gentle hand to his arm. "I think that nest sounds like a good idea, April. Michelangelo, if you would assist her? Casey, Donatello needs help standing but be gentle of his ribs. Raphael, if you would help Leonardo out to the living room? I will return in a moment."

There was a quiet chorus of "Yes, Father" from just about everyone. Leo was trying very hard to stay conscious and didn't say anything. Why was he so tired?

"C'mon, Fearless." Raph took his elbow and guided him from the lab. "Yer nap didn't last as long as it should have."

Leo glanced at his younger brother, his brow pulling down. "I should be helping you," he said. "You're the one who can barely walk and got his face punched in."

"It gives me somethin' ta do" was the murmured reply. "Besides, ya can barely walk yerself."

He had a point and Leo conceded, falling into silence and letting Raph settle him in the half-formed mass of blankets, pillows and cushions on the floor. His head landed on a pillow and he was asleep before he even thought about it.

Though he did feel it when something soft crawled up his arm and he twitched a little.

Klunk, no, come away. Bad kitty! Swift steps halted when the softness curled up in the crook of his arm and he stroked the fur. The heat from the little mammal eased his strung-out nerves and he shifted to wind himself around the small ball of fluff and warmth.

Let 'im be, Mike. He's had a long day...

-:-:-:-

He came to only a little, enough to know that he lay on something soft and warm with several bodies – four exactly – piled around him. Five, if he counted the cat snoozing against his side. His fingers crawled over an arm and gripped whichever brother's wrist.

They weren't apparitions or dreams either. He smiled, happy at his own heaven right here and now, and fell back asleep.

-:-

Please review.


	46. Chapter 46

**tarin2014tfan:** I'm glad you loved it. :)

 **leofearlessleader :** Let me celebrate with you! Yay for Leo! (For some reason, the site won't let me type your username. Sorry that I took out the dots; it was the only thing that would work.)

 **Leo's Baby Sitter:** I'm sorry about Little Leo. I knew from the beginning that he wouldn't "make it" to the end yet your suggestion of separating them permanently was tempting. As much as I'd love for the Leos to reunite (whether in a dream or meditation or whatever), it won't happen. It's a tender moment of loss for everyone that I have to leave as is. Any attempt to reconcile that loss would probably also just come off as cheesy and overworked and not a note that I want to leave my story on. I'm thrilled that you all loved the Karai scene. I had immense pleasure writing it. Here's your next chapter. ;)

 **prangersturtles:** Warning! Warning! Warning! Countdown to story termination initiated... Sorry. :(

 **AlessandraDC:** I enjoyed Leo's mad scramble in the beginning, too. He had a lot riding on him and, as usual, he delivered. It was bittersweet, I'll agree with you there. No more Little Leo. :( I'm pretty sure everyone took something away from this experience. Thank you!

 **2ndGenGeek:** It's Leo, of course he did. :) Thanks for commenting on Casey's near-death experience! It was funny to write.

 **Turtlecrazy714:** I hope your medical problem wasn't too bad - don't worry about not reviewing. I'm happy you're doing better. :) Sorry about Chapter 44. I had to leave it somewhere and I'm a sucker for cliffhangers. (That was the last one, I promise!) I was really tempted to kill someone, even after saying this wasn't a death fic. I was thinking Splinter but, no, Leo showed up just in time to beat the metaphorical snot out of me before turning on Karai. I'm glad everyone's okay, too. I will never get tired of reading your comments! :D

 **Leeannardo11:** Yes! Happy feelings all around! Splinter really did have a near-miss and inwardly he's still kind of reeling from it. I'm sorry for your tears but hopefully this isn't the last big project I write. (I do have an idea but I need to pin it down a bit more before I post.) Here's to writing! :)

 **LP:** I'm glad you think so! Tell me: do you use a fork or do you just gobble it down with your bare hands? I use my hands myself. ;) I'm definitely going to give them time to recover. The entire family, including April and Casey, took a beating and they will get their recovery time. I have an idea for a story after this but I don't think it will be as Leo-centric as you hope it will be. Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoy my work. :)

 **Jenasisity:** Thank you so much!

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** I'm definitely going to miss Little Leo, too. But I'm happier that Leo is back with us. Everyone really is home and safe. Thanks for reading!

 **crazysnowdragon:** I am so happy that you're happy! :D I believe the random spam note is an example of alexithymia. ;) Thank you!

 **MysticLeo80:** Thank you! Yeah, I was really tempted to let Leo kill Karai in cold blood but then I thought that it wouldn't be very Leo-like of him so he made her make a choice which is more his style. I also had the episode "Prodigal Son" from the 2003 series in my head as I wrote that scene; you can catch snippets from the episode in the dialogue and a few of Leo's moves.

 **lizzybudd:** (Pertaining to your reviews of Chapters 37, 38, 43 and 44) Thank you so very much! That's most kind! I hope you being sad in a corner has ended. I had actually never thought about how strange it would be to hear Big Leo's voice coming out of Little Leo's mouth - that's a fair point. But I'm glad you're enjoying it all! :) That would be an excellent side-issue, Mikey's depression, but this story is just about over and, to be honest, his earlier funk is long over. Never be afraid of reading what I have next!

 **karizmasimon1234:** Hooray for Leo's return! I'm happy that you're happy.

 **Natalie Ryan:** It only took 44 chapters. Oops. :) The thing about Leo's approach to Karai is that, if she had chosen death, Leo would have delivered it because it was her choice and he really, really, really wanted to kill her. I'm amazed at his restraint, actually. I almost did write him killing her - it was a very near thing. I'm glad you liked the end of the chapter. Leo also needed reassurance that his family was real, just as they needed reassurance that he was real. Not a lot will happen after this. Mostly just fluff. And a few tears. There are a few loose ends to snip. :)

 **Author's Note:** I had to cut the next chapter in half because it was getting too long. Almost there, guys. Just a bit more fluff and angst.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 46

Mikey was in the kitchen making lunch – how long had he slept? Unimportant.

Don was in his lab but he wasn't working, just sitting in his chair and staring at nothing. At least he wasn't doing anything strenuous enough to hurt his ribs.

Raph was out in the sewers with Casey, bringing in all the supplies they'd been forced to abandon when the Foot had caught them. He was still limping and his face was still swollen. He'd have an icepack ready for him when he got home.

April was nowhere he could sense; she was probably at work at the shop.

Father was in the dojo meditating, an incense he couldn't yet smell burning on the floor amidst seven candles. A small smile twitched his whiskers upward and without opening his eyes said quietly, "Care to join me, my son?"

Leo sat up from the nest and stretched out his shoulders, legs and back before heading for the dojo on ninja-silent feet. He sat fluidly in front of Sensei, closed his eyes and took only three seconds to center himself in meditation.

 _You do that far too well,_ his father observed.

 _I spent almost two months straight doing nothing else,_ he explained. _It was how I was able to keep tabs on you. My range is up to three miles now._

 _Incredible. Did you sleep well?_

Leo smiled at his father's not-so-subtle change in topic. _I did. It feels like I slept for a year._

 _Not quite, though you were beginning to worry Donatello. You were asleep for nearly fifteen hours._

His spirit shifted in an animal-like shake in his body, rearranging energy flow like a dog shakes out his fur upon waking. _It feels good. I think._

 _You think…?_ Father prompted.

 _It feels strange,_ Leo confessed, _and at the same time it feels like nothing's changed. Everything… I missed two months of my life._

 _You were still with us._

 _You didn't even know I was here until almost a month in,_ he pointed out. _All I could do was watch and wait. It seems like it's still all I can do…_

His statement was met with silence and it occurred to him that Sensei had broken his meditation rhythm when a gentle hand touched his knee.

"Come with me, Leonardo."

Leo blinked open his eyes and was on his feet in one, swift motion. His lingering meditative feelers sensed Splinter's uneasiness at how easy everything was for him now. Moving. Meditating. It was as if he were a ghost or without the weight of a physical body.

 _I need something to weigh me down,_ he thought as he followed Sensei to his room. _I need an anchor._

"Stand here," his father commanded, gesturing with a hand. When he had obeyed, he continued, "Close your eyes, my son, and do not focus on me. Focus on yourself. Feel your heartbeat. Hear your breath. See your inner thoughts…"

He did as asked and that was difficult because he had grown used to focusing on anything and everything but himself. The last forty-eight days notwithstanding, he had always put his family first, protected them, and watched over them. It was unfamiliar to center that kind of focus on himself. Nevertheless, he inhaled and exhaled, and felt his lungs expand with the air; felt his cells run the oxygen through his body, to his heart and brain and limbs.

Something wrapped around his wrists, elbows and knees but he ignored it, focussing.

He heard the rhythmic thumpa-thumpa of his own heart which was so much stronger than his little, three-year-old one. It was the same one, though, just…more experienced. More tried and true. Older. Wiser.

Something else settled on his back, heavy and solid. For a brief second, he wondered what Sensei was doing and then instantly refocussed.

He wished he could see him again. He knew it was impossible for they were the same, one and whole. He wished he could give his brothers one more day with him, one more day of laughter and love because they deserved that.

One last something wound around his closed eyes, and it was in that instant that he realized what was happening.

Father was anchoring him.

He opened his eyes slowly and found blue in his peripherals. His pads and guards were secure against his skin. His swords were in their sheaths and strapped across his shell.

Without a word, Sensei ushered him back out the door and into the dojo. There, he was put through the training session of his life and, suddenly, it wasn't easy. Sweat beaded on his brow as he went through one kata after another, beginning with the basics and progressing up to the last one he'd learned before July 6th. Sensei directed him, his voice cutting through the still dojo, and he responded willingly.

It felt so good.

-:-:-:-

Lunch was ready. Mikey went first to the living room to see if Leo was awake and wanted to eat. He did not panic when he didn't see his eldest brother amongst the blankets, pillows and cushions. Nope. Didn't panic at all. He wasn't panicking when he ran up the stairs to Leo's bedroom – had he moved? Why would he? He hadn't been too loud in the kitchen, right? But, no, Leo wasn't there either. He whirled back and down the stairs, heading to…somewhere – anywhere! – else, when he bypassed the dojo and a blur of blue and silver made him backtrack. His mouth fell open as he beheld Leo in all his glory – quite literally glory. In full gear, he wore the azure mask around his eyes. The twin katana were steel smears as they were swept through the air in a kata. Leo's body was relaxed and smooth and so fluid as he moved. How he had missed watching him move!

He turned and ran to Don's lab, barely remembering to knock hastily before letting himself in. "Donnie, Donnie!" he cried, surging toward his brother and grabbing his wrist. "Come on! You gotta come see this!"

Despite his sort-of-gentle grip, Don protested. "Ow! Careful, Mikey! Ow! Stop that! What on Earth is the matter with you?"

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Mikey breathed out, "Leo's in the dojo. You gotta come see!"

Don's chocolate eyes were huge behind his mask. It was a hilarious, albeit alarming, expression when his face was still mottled and swollen. "He's awake?"

"Yeah!"

"He's in the dojo?"

"That's what I said!"

"What's he doing?" Clearly the resident doctor thought that being in the dojo so soon after their traumatizing experience was not a good idea.

Mikey grinned as he said. "Splinter's running him through kata. Donnie, it's like nothing ever happened!"

Mikey hadn't known what to expect from Leo when he woke up. Would he be weak? Exhausted? Rusty in his skills? Leo was tough, sure, but still… two months trapped in a kid's body was no picnic. So the fact that he had just witnessed his fearless leader doing kata only solidified and intensified the joy that this load of suck had officially and at long last been dumped. Plus, he wasn't sure he was over the idea of still being alive: he was definitely not coming down from Cloud 9 anytime soon, and he was doing his best to drag his elder brother up to his level.

Mikey once more pulled on his brother's hand. "Come on, Don! Don't you want to see Leo in action?"

"We already saw him in action. Yesterday, in fact," Donnie reminded him, though he got to his feet obediently.

"Okay, okay, granted. But what about Leo in full gear and mask with his own katana?"

There it was. The icing on the cake. Don's eyes lit, and Mikey could hear the cogs whirring in his brain. Both of them – all of them – knew that Leo had hated wielding Karai's blade. Seeing him actually and purposefully drop it not once but twice, subconscious disgust playing across his features as his lip curled and his eyes narrowed at the weapon that would have sent them flying into Death's arms, was enough for the rat and the three turtles to know that Leo hated – _hated_ – the sword he had used to save them.

"What the shell are we waiting for?"

The nunchaku-wielding turtle grinned. "Aside from your lazy butt? Absolutely nothing!" He offered a shoulder and Don took it gratefully, fumbling along and obviously trying not to wince from his ribs.

They stopped just shy of the dojo's threshold.

"See? See?"

Mikey's enthusiasm shifted into confusion when Donnie said nothing and fished out his shell-cell after taking a single glance into the room.

"Raph? Hey… No, we're fine. Listen, how far out are you? … You just pulled in? … Listen, do me a favour and come straight to the dojo. … No, nothing's wrong. There's just…something that you should see." He put the phone away and glanced up at Mikey. "Raph just got in with the rest of the stuff. Casey's with him. They'll be here in two minutes."

They both heard the elevator whir and then the door swept open quietly.

"All right, guys, what's up?" asked Raph as he walked (tried very hard not to limp) over to them, Casey right beside him.

Mikey held a finger to his lips and motioned to the rat and turtle in the dojo.

Raph looked, his jaw dropped open and then he smiled. "Well, would ya look at that," he whispered. "Fearless is back in action."

Casey put a hand on Raph's shoulder and Mikey couldn't help but smile at their smiles. It was over. It really was well and truly over. They all had a bit of healing to do – heaven knew his nightmare last night had been a doozy – but they were all home, they were all safe and they were all together.

Mikey watched his brother for another minute then found himself moving forward. He stopped just short of the mat and waited in the rest stance, feet apart and hands clasped in front of him. It was always polite to wait for an invitation if the mat was already occupied.

Splinter spotted him instantly, his whiskers twitched, and he nodded subtly to him.

The orange-masked ninja stepped lightly into position and slid gracefully into the half-performed kata, his nunchaku chains rattling with each skillful spin. Strike, strike, turn and block, step, kick, block,and step, kick, strike and block again. It was as if nothing had happened. It was just another training session with his bro and dad. As they turned, he saw Leo's eyes flick to his. Sweat trickled down his temples – how long had he been at this? – but he smiled at him. His eyes shone and the left corner of his mouth pulled up in that quiet smile Mikey hadn't seen in the physical world in almost two, long months.

He grinned back in reckless abandon and Leo chuckled, low and soft, and gave his shoulder a playful nudge. Mikey gave his next step an extra turn and, as he kicked out, he caught his eldest brother in the exact same spot. Leo's eyes danced and despite Splinter's warning call of "Focus, my sons", he tossed decorum aside, sheathed his katana and leaped at him.

The kata melded into a full-out sparring match and Don, Raph and Casey whooped as the two turtles clashed good-naturedly, testing the other and doing no harm.

"It's good to have you back, Leo," Mikey said as he ducked and flipped out of his brother's reach.

Leo grinned this time, easily keeping up with him. "It's good to be back, Mikey."

-:-:-:-

Don watched his elder and youngest brothers play – for it truly was only play. Leo took advantage of none of the openings Mikey might or might not have purposefully made in his defence, and Mikey was laughing as he spun almost dance-like around Leo. Blue eyes, one navy and the other baby, were luminous, smiles were blinding, the way their bodies moved completely unaggressive. It was like watching butterflies or birds or leaves on the wind: endlessly circling, dipping and soaring around the other.

Splinter hadn't bothered to stop them after his initial warning and now stepped off the mat to join the audience.

"It really is over, isn't it?" Donnie whispered, his question drowned out by Raph's and Casey's hollers and cheers.

"Yes, my son." He turned those wise eyes on him, surveying. "Yet something bothers you?"

"It's not…bothering me, per se. It's just…it was such a long time. It was two months. I'm… Is it wrong of me to say that I'll miss that little kid?"

Sensei put a hand on his arm, his ears lowered and his eyes earnest. "No, Donatello. It is not wrong at all. Little Leonardo brought us something I have not seen in many years and something you have never understood before, young as you were at the time. The innocence of a child is a wondrous thing."

"Hai," murmured Don, his gaze flitting to the pair on the mats; they were slowing down, tiring. He smiled when Leo finally entrapped Mikey in a hold and Mikey squeaked his defeated "Yield!"

"You won't say anything to him, though, right?" he asked, the floor drawing his eyes. "I wouldn't want him to think that I have…preferences. Not that I do," he added quickly.

"Ah, Donatello, your brother would never think so low of you. I believe he suspects our sense of loss so I suggest maybe speaking with him personally. Did you enjoy your training session, my sons?" he added to the turtles who drew near, still chortling.

Leo's happiness faltered a fraction in the face of the rat and his question, but then he caught the teasing gleam in his eye, which Don had already spotted, and he tried to keep a straight face as he said rather smugly, "I enjoyed it immensely, Sensei."

Splinter's whiskers trembled while Raph guffawed. "Five backflips for your impertinence, my son."

"Nuh, unh!" Mikey immediately protested. "Lunch first! That's why I came to find you in the first place! Sandwiches are on the table and if the bread is soggy because of the lettuce, so help me, Leo…"

Don chuckled when Raph grinned, Casey fist-pumped with a loud "All right! Food!" and Splinter sighed with feigned resignation.

Lunch was loud and yet at the same time it was deafeningly silent. Mike and Casey supplied most of the noise and Raph added a comment here and there but Don said nothing, his eyes on Leo who hadn't stopped smiling since he got out of the dojo. Donnie ate only half his sandwich, his gut twisting too much to allow him to eat more substantially especially after what had happened yesterday. Torture, threat of death, Leo's return and the emotions that followed. Yeah, he really should eat a bit more but he was worried he'd throw it up if he did. He let Mikey take the last of his sandwich and then asked to be excused. He was just so tired and so sore and so confused. Maybe a few hours of unconsciousness would remedy it all?

Exiting the kitchen, he paused at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the rail and the other wrapped around his bō. He really, really, really didn't want to climb any stairs. Not even the lush reward of his bed was enough motivation to get him to take a step up.

A gentle hand curled under the elbow of the arm on the railing and, far from being startled, he turned slowly to meet navy eyes.

"There's the nest in the living room still?" Leo suggested quietly.

Donnie nodded and let his big brother help him to the mess of pillows, blankets and cushions. Instead of lying down, though, he just sat, his staff beside him. Leo settled himself in, pulling a thin blanket up and around his shoulders – was he cold? Don blinked as he examined his brother. His colour was a lot better than last night but he was still pale and his eyes looked wane, like he hadn't slept which was ridiculous because he'd slept for almost fifteen hours straight.

"Are you okay?" he asked, the question falling from his mouth before he gave it proper thought.

Leo shrugged, blinking slowly. "I think I'm still working on it. You?"

Well, he'd walked into that one. "Cracked and bruised ribs will take longer than a day to heal so…me, too."

"I'm sorry." Donnie almost missed the quiet admission.

"What are you sorry for? This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. You…you saved us, Leo. You broke the spell just in time and saved us all. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Leo's tired eyes met his for a moment before dropping to his lap. "I know it's not my fault but…I'm still sorry for what they did and for what they were about to do."

Don looked away at that, nausea crawling up his throat. He hadn't told anyone why they had beaten him. They knew it was because their enemies had thought him Leo's successor but they didn't know exactly _why_.

"Donnie…?" Leo's whisper was racked with worry and…was that fear? One glance at his face and he knew that somehow his big brother knew. He knew that something bothered him, knew that it was more than just facing certain death.

He recalled how Leo had moved to attack Casey last night, how fluidly, as if he had been weightless. He recalled how Leo had moved during his training session in the dojo earlier, how easy it all had looked, how easy he had made it seem despite the sweat on his skin. There was something different about his brother. Something had definitely changed…or maybe altered was a better word? Enhanced? Yes, enhanced. They all knew Leo had possessed a sixth sense so to speak in regards to their safety, always knowing when nightmares lurked in the recesses of their minds, when monsters real or imaginary dogged their steps, and when they hurt from physical or emotional wounds. Now, though, it was as if Leonardo could actually feel what he felt but that wasn't possible in reality; it only existed in the astral plane…

"Are you meditating?" he gasped, his eyes wide in his face.

Leo regarded him, trying to stay aloof of the emotions rippling through the air. "I can't quite seem to stop," he said at last.

This was unheard of. Leo was conscious. He was aware and walking around and talking and eating and performing kata and yet he was meditating. "How?" Don rasped.

"I'm not really sure. It's not really meditation exactly. I'm just…I guess more sensitive." Those wise, navy eyes lifted to his. "I can feel you, Don. Something's eating you on the inside."

"It's a couple somethings," the purple-masked turtle confessed as he once more inspected the hands in his lap.

Leo scooted closer until he was inches away; he ducked his head beneath Don's to catch his eye. Don let him and felt a tear trickle down his cheek. "They thought I was leader, Leo, but they weren't looking for information. They had what they wanted and they just…they just…" He gulped and more tears came, burning through the swelling of his blacked eyes. "It was _fun_ for them. Why was it fun for them? Why would anyone think it's fun to hurt someone else?'

Leo wrapped him up in his arms and the blanket, leaning his head against his. Don turned and buried his beak in his brother's shoulder. Sobs ripped through his chest and his ribs ached like fresh stab wounds but he couldn't stop crying. It was an endless cycle. He cried because it was painful and it was painful because he cried. He tried to drag his focus away from the agony in his heart and body and forced it toward Leo, how gently he held him, how his hands trailed up and down his carapace, and how his calm voice spoke: "I don't know, Donnie. I don't have the answer and I doubt there even is one. People don't need to have an excuse to do bad things just like people don't need to have an excuse to do good things. We do because we can. I'm sorry you were hurt. I'm sorry you had to endure that. It's not fair or right and it's okay to be sad about it. It's okay to cry."

"Such a big baby," he moaned.

"I like how you're saying that to me." There was a desperate attempt at humour there and Donnie choked on a laugh. Big baby. His big brother was – had been – a big baby.

"I miss him." What did he just say!? NO! He hadn't meant to say it!

Leo stiffened marginally, his hands freezing in their rhythmic strokes. Then he relaxed and nuzzled the top of his head gently. "I do, too."

Wait, what? The statement shocked him out of his tears. "Really?" Don titled his head to peek up at his brother.

"Yeah." It was all he said and there was this forlorn look in his eye; his face was devoid of expression but his eyes always betrayed him.

"Why?"

Leo smiled his little smile at him, squeezed him only a fraction tighter. "Because he gave my family something I never thought to give. I always thought that it was enough that you were alive and safe but he gave you happiness."

"We did miss you, Leo."

"I know. But I think having him around gave everyone a feeling of purpose, of being caring rather than simply being cared for."

"It was nice to look after you," Don admitted slowly, "and we did have fun and all but, Leo, we really, really missed you. There was a piece of us that went missing when you got hit. It's…it's good to be whole again."

"And are you whole?" Leo's eyes were piercing yet hesitant at the same time.

Don snuggled deeper in his brother's hold and yawned as his eyes closed. Sure, people hurt other people for fun but they had run those people out of town – Karai was doubtlessly on a plane with her Elite pets and they would never see her again. There would be no lasting damage to his body from their cruelty; he would heal. He was already healing. "Yeah. I think I am."

He felt his brother press a kiss to the top of his head and then gently set him down amongst the soft linen and upholstery, his body carefully supported to avoid pain. A blanket draped over his shoulders and he absently pulled a corner more tightly around him. A hand stroked his head and whispered words met his ears, "Sleep, ototo."

It was a strange command, considering he was already half-asleep, but Don smiled and soon fell into unconsciousness.

-:-:-:-

Knowing Don would sleep, Leo retreated upstairs to his room. It had been almost two months since he'd set foot in here and, ironically, it didn't show: someone had dusted recently; his bed linen was freshly washed; and even the air wasn't as stale as he had expected a locked room to be after forty-eight days. Habitually, he picked up the shell-cell on his bedside table and turned it on.

The device beeped repeatedly as it announced several notifications. He sat down on his bed and opened the thirteen new messages from Raph, starting with the oldest.

July 7: _I thought it was just a bad dream. Guess not._

July 7: _Had a fight with Don. We're okay now but I guess I'm not the only one worked up about this. Don't know why I'm surprised._

July 9: _April brought stuff for you. You're a spoiled brat, you know that?_

July 10: _You need to stop with the ketchup. It's grossing me out. Seriously, how did you even have habits like that?_

July 12: _You'll never guess – we got the gun from Karai. Snatched it right out of her hands. She stabbed me for it but I'm okay. Mikey had it rough. He's got it so rough right now. I didn't even know. What kind of older brother am I if I can't help the only little brother I've got? Don't know how you do it sometimes. Don and I did what we could so I guess that's got to be good enough for now. Hopefully._

July 15: _Aw, man. I messed up. Casey hates me now. I guess I deserve it, really. I called him out on throwing you too high in the air and he didn't like that. Oh, well. What's life without a little loss, right?_

July 19: _I'm missing Casey. I'm missing busting heads. I'm missing patrolling with you and the others. I don't know how we're going to fix this but…we're going to fix this._

July 22: _April's staying with us now. She and Case had a fight. A bad one. She threw dishes at him, that's how bad it was. He said a bunch of stuff so she threw the dishes. I hope her aim was good and his face looks like he's gone through a wood chipper. I want to stab him so badly right now. He deserves it, after what he said. He dragged Don's name into it, too, but I guess I really shouldn't tell you anything about that because you might… I don't know… redeem his honour or something stupid like that. … Miss you._

July 23: _You're happy a lot. April calls you a 'smiler' – when she comes out of Don's lab, that is. It's weird you being happy all the time. Usually you're just focussed and intense. You love Mikey's hugs and games, and you like holding my hand and reading with me. April got you some kids' books and you like the pictures._

July 24: _Don and April have been cooped up in the lab for two days now. It's freaking me out. They're working on the gun, I know they are, but they won't let anyone else near. They won't even let us in. Geez, I know they're both geniuses but what'll happen if their fingers slip on the trigger? That could be really bad, you know? We don't need another kid. Well, I mean, it's fun to have you so little but what I mean is that it's kind of stressful, too. You wander off sometimes and I know you're somewhere in the lair but, geez, man, stay put or you'll give us all ulcers._

July 25: _A couple things happened today. One, Don almost toddlerized himself to prove that iron's protective against the gun and Mikey punched him for it. Two, Mikey verbally assaulted Casey. Wish I'd recorded it. Then again, maybe not. I've never seen him so angry. Casey called April and when she didn't answer, he called Don. I know we're green but Mikey's face went white and he grabbed Don's cell. It was scary. I know he's been doing his best to stay strong and all but…he misses you. I miss you. We all do._

July 26: _We went swimming in the pool today. Mike and I taught you how to hold your breath underwater. You're a natural. Also, April left today. I think she's off to patch things up with Casey. Oh, yeah, and Mike almost died last night. He's okay, though, only a couple scratches considering he faced off with fifteen Foot ninja. Casey helped him out, though. I guess I shouldn't stab him after all, huh?_

July 29: _Thanks for saving my shell today, Leo. I'm going to return the favour. Promise._

The shell-cell's white screen blurred and Leo wiped his eyes, sniffing quietly. He took another few moments to compose himself before touching one of the two new voicemails.

The first was from Don on July 12th: _Hey, Leo. I honestly don't know why I'm calling but I just thought you'd want to know that we got the gun from Karai last night. Raph got hurt but he's fine. He really came through, actually. Totally saved our shells. You'd…you'd be proud of him. I know I am. I guess I can say it since no one else will hear this but he's doing a great job in stepping up. Sometimes I see Master Splinter looking at him and I just know he's thinking what a great leader Raph would be. He's different, too. I mean, he still gets angry but not as much and it's nowhere near as explosive as what it was._ There was a wet chuckle and he continued, _It's not funny, really, but all it took for Raph to calm down was for you to save him. You're a kid now, Leo, and sometimes I fear that we won't fix you. I think we're all afraid of that, but Raph…it's weird. He likes you so little. He smiles at you, you know? He's like how you were with Mikey: indulgent and just…such a mom. I'm not insulting him or mothers. I guess I'm trying to say that it's weird and it's only getting weirder. But we'll fix it, Leo. We'll fix this. I promise._

After that was the voicemail left on July 25th: _Hey, bro. It's Mikey._ It sounded like he was crying. _Um…I don't know what to say since you're probably never gonna hear this. I guess I can say whatever I want but… I miss you. Geez, Leo, I miss you so much! It hurts! Everything hurts, and I want it to stop! I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to be mad anymore. I yelled at Casey, bro, and I know he said some bad things before to April and Raph and he mentioned something about Don but I won't tell you what 'cause then you'll go off and try to redeem his honour or something stupid like that; but I shouldn't have yelled at him. I know he's having it rough. I know he's stressed. He and April had barely started dating, the Purple Dragons are probably out in force because we're not patrolling anymore because…well, you know. We need to look after you, Leo. It's a twenty-four-seven gig. And Dad's too tired to do it all by himself. He won't say it but I know he's thinking it. I'm trying, I really am, and I know Don and Raphie are, too, but Casey doesn't see it like that. He thinks Raph's taking over and he's upset about losing his friend because we all know what it was like for you when Sensei named you leader. You didn't have as much time for us anymore. I know Raph's talked to Casey about it. You two used to be so close, best friends, and you used to have all the time in the world for us. And I know it's not your fault. You only want to do right by us and be able to protect us but…Leo…we're lost. We're lost without you and –_

There was a beep as the message was cut off.

Leo slowly lowered the phone to his lap. He stared at it as tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Leo?" Mikey stood in his doorway, a cup of tea in hand. "Dude, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" He scurried in, setting the steaming cup on the bedside table, and Leo grabbed him, hauling him in close in a ferocious hug.

"I got your message," he rasped.

"My what? What message…?" He trailed off when he saw the phone on the floor (having slid from Leo's lap). "Oh. That message."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Mikey demanded against his shoulder. "You've nothing to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault."

"No, I know that. I'm sorry that you hurt. I'm sorry that there wasn't anything I could do! All I could do was watch and wait and hope you'd find me because I was there the whole time but you didn't know and it hurt that I couldn't help your hurt, Mikey."

"Hey," Mikey soothed. "It's okay. It's okay, ani. It's all okay now. We're all here because of you. And don't forget: you helped us when it mattered the most. You fought so hard for us and I can never repay you for everything you did." He pushed him back to look him in the eye. "Our hurt's healing because you're here now. You came back and that's all we wanted."

Leo blinked back his tears and cupped his baby brother's face. His precious, baby brother. "I'm glad you're okay, Mike. You've had a couple adventures that I didn't even know about. What was this about you and Casey facing off with fifteen Foot ninja?"

"Oh, that!" Mikey grinned and Leo released him to let him tell the story. "It was scary as shell, let me tell you…"

As Mikey regaled him, Leo watched him. The stress from before was wearing away from his face, hands and shoulders. He breathed more easily as his brother's anxiety and fear bled out of the air around him and his heartrate calmed. He paid attention to every word and feeling. It was strange to gauge his brothers' emotions outside of the astral plane but it was certainly useful.

"You used your own heartbeats to measure how much time you had left?" Leo interrupted, staring.

Mikey wrung his hands together. "It's not as bad as it sounds," he murmured, his enthusiasm waning. "I didn't even tell the others. I thought it would freak them out."

"Because, clearly, it wouldn't freak me out?"

His little brother in orange smiled at him as he said, "Aw, bro, you're the most Zen of us anyway. At least, right now you are." That smile faded. "Even Sensei's still…upset about…what happened yesterday."

Upset didn't even cover it, Leo knew, but he wasn't going to say that. "How are you?" he asked instead.

"Great!" was the immediate reply. "I mean, well, yesterday was a bit of a bummer but it didn't end so badly. I'm still kind of wigging out over the fact that we're still alive."

Ghosts – horror, fear – filtered through the air and Leo leaned back to better ascertain Michelangelo's emotional state. True, his brother wasn't lying about being more positive than negative but there was something dark festering beneath the benign and joyful surface of those baby-blue eyes.

"Want to talk about it?" Leo asked slowly.

"What's there to talk about?" There it was at last: the tremor in his voice. The ghosts were crawling up his throat and falling off his tongue, tainting the words.

"I know you better than that, Mikey," Leo said gently. "And I think you know me better than to dodge the question. Come on, little bro. It's me."

Mikey looked away for only a second before meeting his gaze. "It's just...Dad told us to close our eyes. He didn't want us to see and…and I didn't want to see it either. I didn't want to watch him die. I didn't want to watch Don and then Raph get executed. I would have kept my eyes shut the whole time. I was so scared and I was such a coward." He hung his head, not looking at him.

"You are no coward, Michelangelo," Leo said, firm and resounding. He took his brother's chin and lifted his face. "Do you hear me? You obeyed Father's last wish to not watch. I would not be surprised if our brothers had made similar requests."

Tears streaked from under the orange mask and Leo embraced his little brother. "Do you remember what I told you when you were little and you had nightmares?"

Mikey's tears landed on his shoulder as he said, "You told me to close my eyes. You told me that the next time I opened them, it would be morning and the nightmares would be gone but you would still be here."

Leo pulled away, holding him out to look him in the eye. "Was I ever wrong?"

Mikey shook his head wordlessly, droplets splattering the blanket and their legs, and Leo continued. "You are not and never have been a coward, Mike. You're one of the strongest people I know. You carry on when all we want to do is stop. You bring us light. You bring me light. Don't you ever forget it."

Mikey regarded him for a long, silent moment and Leo could feel his weighted gaze measure him right back - not in the same way, of course. Then at last, a small smile crept across his face. "Okay. But I'm only saying that because I know you hate lying."

Leo chuckled and cradled his baby brother, letting the tea on the bedside table go cold.

-:-

Please review.


	47. Chapter 47

**Ariana Gorman:** I'm glad you liked it. Thank you. :)

 **prangersturtles:** Haha! Thank you!

 **tarin2014tfan:** Thank you so much!

 **TheMaskedTimelord:** That is so kind of you! Thank you! Have some more bro feels!

 **Natalie Ryan:** I'm sorry for your tears. The guys - all of them - have really been through a lot and each of them needs some attention from their big brother. Even Splinter needed a moment with Leo: gearing him up really grounded him in the fact that this was reality, that they were home and safe and Leo was theirs again. Leo's also going through a bit of tough time: he does miss Little Leo but at the same time he doesn't because he's a part of him; he's beginning to understand just what he means to his family as a whole and to each individual. You're right: he's not just a leader and a big brother; he's a person with responsibilities, feelings and problems, and he's figuring that out one family member at a time. I'm glad you enjoyed Raph's texts. I had originally only had two from him dated for July 7th (something along the lines of 'Mikey's making ramen. Want any?' then 'Never mind'.) and that was it, but Raph is too complex of a character for that. Where Don and Mikey only called Leo's phone in times of need or uncertainty (and in Mikey's case, his breaking point), Raph remained in "contact" with his brother almost daily. It really solidifies his relationship with Leo, and I'm glad you commented on it specifically so thank you. :) Also, you shouldn't blame Leo for anything. I'm the one at the keyboard. ;)

 **Guest:** I'm glad you enjoyed it, though I'm sorry to hear about your "getting diabetes". ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 47

Raph's leg didn't hurt so much that he couldn't clean up the toddler stuff still lying around. Of course, it would have been easier if Casey had been around but the guy had taken off after lunch to go "do some stuff", and Splinter was meditating in the dojo. Nevertheless, the baby-locks, baby gates, toys, crayons and paint he boxed up and put by the elevator so it would be quicker to take up when April came by tomorrow to donate it all (again). With Sensei's permission, he entered his father's room to disassemble the crib and lug it out to the pile. The sippy cups, plastic dishes and picture books all followed suit, though after a minute's deliberation, he set the rocking chair from Sensei's room out in the living room. He did all of this as quietly as he knew how in order to not wake Donnie who had passed out in the nest after lunch.

His older brother slept soundly – a relief after the rough night everyone had had. Nightmares of hard fists, wicked blades and an eagerly-awaiting, black abyss had plagued him for the better part of the night, and he was sure, from Mikey's, Don's and even Splinter's low cries, that they had been just as haunted. (Though, at some time in the early hours, his nightmares had simply stopped and it was upon awakening in time for breakfast that he'd found Leo gripping his wrist, still sound asleep and probably unaware of his family's distress during the night.) That his immediate elder brother slept now with smooth features and relaxed limbs meant the world to him and damned if he disturbed him.

He paused in the middle of the room, looking about. He'd gotten everything, right? It looked like it but he suspected that they'd find the odd toy or block or crayon for weeks to come.

The blocks. April's gift to Little Leo. Geez, what were they going to do with it all? Leo wasn't likely to keep them; he wasn't overly nostalgic and he certainly wasn't going to play with them. He'd have to ask him about it…maybe when everything had calmed down a bit more.

Giving the living room a last go-over, he tiptoed past Donnie (only stopping to rearrange the blanket that had slipped off his shoulders) and headed for the refrigerator for a snack. He stopped short as soon as he entered the kitchen, his eyes glued to the destined appliance. Both fridge and freezer doors were still covered in papers. Vibrant colours in paint and crayon were still pinned by magnets. He approached slowly, as if the whole kitchen would come alive and pounce on him if he so much as touched one of the pictures. Wary eyes flicked once around the room – everything was still in place, no one was near – but he could not bring himself to take down the pictures. Smudges and smears depicting who knew what from exuberant brushes that were quickly dropped and replaced with fingers decorated each page. The odd painting was Mikey's, an array of abstract colours, shapes and themes that announced the orange-masked turtle's talent with all the force of thunder.

One painting in particular caught his eye. It had been Mikey's idea – of course it had been – to take Leo's tiny hand, press it in blue paint and apply it to a large sheet of paper. Raph remembered how Leo had smiled at his blue, little hand-picture, three fingers spread. He remembered how Mikey had answered that smile as he had dipped his own hand in orange and made an imprint right next to Leo's, Leo's thumb and his pointer finger touching. He remembered being presented with a plate of red paint, a request and very specific instructions. He remembered acquiescing and the thought of ruining the painting never crossed his mind. Then Mikey had gone in search of Don, and while Raph had washed his and Leo's hands, Don had applied his own handprint in purple. It had taken hours to dry but the final result (with Mikey lightly colouring the background in a shell-pattern of green pencil crayon) was a masterpiece in its simplicity. Leo's handprint was in the middle of a circle of connected orange, red and purple handprints. Each of the three outer hands connected to Leo's little fingers with their own pointer finger, and each connected to its neighbour by touching thumb to pinky.

"Raph?"

He spun, hand instinctively reaching for his sai before recognizing the voice and stopping in time. "Geez, Leo!" he exclaimed (quietly because Don was still sleeping in the next room). "Don't do that! Ya almost gave me a heart attack!"

Leo smiled softly and crossed the floor to set a tea cup in the sink. "Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to startle you." His eyes flicked to his, holding him. "What were you doing, anyway? You're a hard turtle to sneak up on, any day of the week."

"Um…" Raph rubbed the back of his neck and half-shuffled away from the fridge. "Nothin' really. Just cleanin' up a bit."

"I saw the pile. You're keeping busy." The gentle observation was laced with a subtle accusation: _Why aren't you resting?_

Raph shrugged and muttered, "It needs to get done."

There was no telling what Leo was thinking when he said, "I see. Want to take a break then? If you've been at since after lunch then you should take a breather. Tea?"

"Didn't ya just have a cup?" he wondered, jerking his chin to the sink.

"Mikey made it for me but we got to talking and it cooled before I could finish it," his brother explained.

"Where is he now?"

"He's asleep."

Of course he was. Raph was the only one stubborn enough to not rest when he really should. "Well, since yer offerin'. Sure." The red-banded turtle sank into a chair. "Thanks."

"Of course."

They lapsed into silence, the only sounds being Leo as he filled the kettle, set it on the stove to boil and fetched down a couple packets of cinnamon-orange and two cups. Raphael watched his brother carefully out of the corner of his eye. He moved with the same easy grace as before, no evident lasting effects from being toddlerized but he knew Don wanted to give him a proper checkup. He had a new scar, he noticed. Or maybe it wasn't new. It looked old but he could have sworn it hadn't been there before. On Leo's outer, right thigh was a thick and jagged line, and Raph frowned in thought.

"I can hear you thinking from here, Raph," his brother informed him, though his shell was turned to him. "What is it?"

Raph spoke slowly. "I've never seen that scar before," he said. "On your right thigh."

Leo looked down, bemused, and traced the tissue with a fingertip. "Sure, you've seen it. It's just healed is all." He glanced up at him. "Didn't Don say that how the gun worked was a shift backwards in time? It stands to reason that, since I broke the spell, any injuries I sustained as a toddler would have healed."

Leo's cut leg. Leo's dislocated elbow. His numerous cuts and bruises from the flood that had happened only two weeks ago. While most of it had healed before their capture, they all knew that the nasty leg gash would scar. And it had.

"Huh," was all Raph said.

Leo quirked a smile at him as he poured out the hot water and set the cups down on the table. "It needs to steep," he said before Raph could take a sip.

The left corner of Raph's mouth curled up as he said, "Thanks, Fearless."

They basked in the quiet and the gentle steam rising from the cups; Raph had his hands wrapped around the ceramic.

"So…what were you doing with the pictures?" Leo asked.

Raph examined his steeping tea as he said, "I dunno. I wasn't really sure what I was goin' ta do with 'em. I mean, they're not mine ta throw away or keep."

"Hm," mused Leo, eyeing his cup carefully. "Well, I'm sure Mike will want to keep some since some of them are his."

"And the rest?" Raph prodded. He watched his eldest brother glance up to him then flick his eyes over to the pictures on the fridge.

"You know…" he said slowly, "I think I might keep a couple of them myself. I kind of like the one of Klunk."

"Klunk?"

The cat in question suddenly appeared, leaping up onto the table and rubbing against Leo's arm. Leo scratched the feline obediently before getting up and untacking an orange glop on paper from somewhere near the bottom of the fridge door. He returned and handed Raph the picture. "Klunk," he said with a rather ambiguous smile, re-taking his chair.

"Uh…sure, Leo. Okay." Raph didn't think the blob looked like anything except for, well, a blob.

"Klunk stayed away from us the moment he clapped eyes on us," Leo explained, taking back the picture and staring at it with a forlorn smile on his lips. "Little Leo was upset that the cat didn't like him."

Raph recalled the orange kitty curling up beside the toddler after the flood to help him keep warm and chose not to comment further than "That's too bad."

"He was jealous that he liked Mikey so much but he wasn't angry enough to hurt him. I made sure of that. I told him that Klunk just needed time to get used to him. He doesn't like new things, and that appeased him. He was looking forward to the day when he could hold him."

Raph looked down and took a swig of tea. He grimaced at the hot liquid but he didn't say anything.

"Raph?"

He took another drink, not meeting his brother's eyes.

"Raph. Look at me."

So slowly that it shamed him, he obeyed and instead of anger or jealousy in his brother's eyes, all he saw was understanding.

"I know you miss him, Raph," Leo said. "I know how happy he made you and I'm sorry that I took that from you."

"Leo…" he began but he stopped because what was he supposed to say? He'd be lying if he said it wasn't true but at the same time he couldn't confirm the statements; it would break his brother's heart.

"It's okay, really," Leo continued. His hand petted Klunk absently and he sipped his tea. "I get it. I do. I wish there was some way that we could have stayed separated. Maybe then everyone would be happy?"

Raph's eyes bugged. His brother thought they weren't happy, that they grieved more than they rejoiced, that they had lost more than they had gained. "Leo…" He began again and spoke slowly, choosing his words with utmost care. "I would choose ya over him any day. We had fun, I won't deny it. And seein' ya so dependent and trustin' made me want ta be worthy of yer trust. I wanted ta learn how ta be gentle because ya were so fragile. I couldn't lose my temper because I knew I would hurt ya, not only physically but emotionally. I didn't want ta damage what we were buildin', and I don't think I would have learned that lesson any other way. But ya _are_ my big brother. Yer _our_ big brother. Yer my fearless leader and I am _happy_ that yer here because, dammit, Leo, I missed ya more than ya'll ever know."

Leo met his earnest gaze for only a second before dropping his to the table. "I got your texts," he whispered.

For a split second, Raph didn't know what he was talking about but then he got it and his face heated. "Oh," he managed to say. All of that uncontainable emotion he couldn't quell with meditation or training he had sent in messages to his brother's phone, knowing he would never get a reply. At the time, it had been a source of release and a way to convey his thoughts coherently. Now, it seemed like a cruel joke to play on his elder brother.

"And I do know, Raph," he continued. "I can feel it. I can sense it. Cooped up in my own mind for so long, I resorted to meditation to pass the time and to keep tabs on you when I didn't want to look out through eyes that weren't mine." He paused and Raphael let him gather courage and strength to say whatever came next. "I don't really think I'm still meditating but I think my spiritual senses have increased." Now he looked up at him and Raph saw in those navy eyes the exact same emotions roiling in his soul. "I do know, Raph," he said again.

And he did because Leo never lied, and suddenly all of it was meaningless: his grief for the toddler, the weeks of missing Leo, his fears of leading, the knowledge that he had failed his family so completely – all of it was pointless because Leo sat in front of him and _understood_ and _knew_ and was _here_.

The tears came then, slow trickles of relief, gratitude and joy down his cheeks, and Leo got up from his chair, knelt at his side and hugged him. He was gentle at first but when Raph returned the hug desperately, his arms tightened and Raph buried himself in his brother's shoulder, hearing his heartbeat and breaths, and feeling the strength in the body around him. This was his big brother, his fearless leader, and no magic spell or threat of death would ever change that.

So Raph let himself hug and be hugged, and the teacups sat forgotten on the table, and Klunk mewed, disgruntled with the sudden shift in attention but neither of the brothers paid him any mind.

-:-:-:-

Leo kept the blocks. They were a gift, after all. He also kept a handful of the paintings and crayon scribbles. He set the one of his brothers' handprints on his desk until he could get it framed. The picture sat next to April's gift to him. Little Leo had gotten blocks. Big Leo's gift had taken four weeks to order, make and ship. He'd received it six days ago over dinner to astonished gasps and applause. It was a steel-wrought tree of life, tempered to a shine of pale red, purple and orange, and was two feet in diameter. April had found the piece on a metal-works site that operated out of Canada. She hadn't said how much it had cost but after a bit of snooping on Don's laptop, Leo had been reassured by the fact that his brothers' gifts had been more costly than his own. Not that it mattered but he didn't want April spending a small fortune on him. His brothers, on the other hand, he would let her spoil until they were rotten to the core.

Standing on an apartment roof somewhere near Brooklyn, Leo stared out over the Hudson whose waters reflected the clear, night sky, and smiled at the thought of spoiled, little brothers.

A sharp whistle made him turn, his tail masks flying behind him in the early September wind. Mikey grinned at him. "Are you coming, Leo? We've still got another mile to go before we have to turn around."

Leo smiled and sauntered over to where his brothers waited for him. He wordlessly glanced at them all, meeting their eyes and measuring them. His enhanced spiritual senses hadn't lessened in the two weeks since they'd gotten home but his brothers had certainly healed. Nightmares had ceased, Raph was no longer limping, and even Don was able to join them tonight on their first patrol since that fateful day in July. His brothers met his gaze in eager courage and he nodded before breaking into a run over the rooftops of New York.

It was on the way back when he both heard and felt raucous shouts. He stopped the team with a hand and motioned them forward slowly. Peering over the side of the building, three stories down, the ninja turtles spotted a pack of Purple Dragons recklessly and loudly robbing a jewelry store.

"Quiet down!" one spat, his voice carried up to them on the wind.

"Ah, who's gonna hear us? The turtle freaks?"

Leo glanced at Don, Raph and Mikey and raised a brow ridge.

"Ha, ha!" laughed another. "We ain't seen those clowns in two months!"

Raph smiled devilishly, fingering a sai, and nodded, Don and Mikey giving their own, silent agreement as they readied their own weapons.

"Probably dead," snickered a third.

"Yeah. 'Cause that's why the Foot cleared out and left us all their territory," the leader growled, not noticing the shadows creeping down the fire escape. "Because the turtles are dead."

"Fifty bucks says they are!" the third man challenged.

Leo unsheathed his katana slowly but let the twin blades catch the moonlight. "I'll take that bet," he announced, and with his brothers right behind him (Mikey yelling his usual battle cry of "Cowabunga!"), he dropped into the gang's midst, nictitating membranes white in the darkness and his katana gleaming.

The End.

-:-

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all readers, followers and reviewers. It has been an absolute thrill to write for you. It was a challenge. It was difficult and grueling at times to get chapters posted on time, and I know I've slid out of it these last couple weeks, but I'm glad you stuck with me. I'm glad that you loved the story. It was my honour and privilege to write for you, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.


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